Life Without Lucas
by AlineVanDeventer
Summary: And it's done!
1. Chapter 1

The alarm clock went off in Brooke Davis' room eliciting a groan from the 17 year old girl. She wasn't looking forward to the day lie ahead of her. Reluctantly Brooke pushed back the covers and made her way to the bathroom to get ready. Today is the first day she was stepping foot onto the Tree Hill High campus since she watched her boyfriend's life end in front of her. Two weeks and she had done nothing but sleep and cry. She wouldn't even see Peyton or Haley when they tried to come visit her.

"Luke," she cried as she turned the water on and stepped into the shower.

This was becoming a daily routine. Everyday since Lucas had been shot she woke up and took a shower, crying as soon as the water touched her and stopping the second it was off. Just long enough to get dressed and climb back into bed and let her mind wander to before the tragic end of what was the best thing in her life so far. But today was different. Today she promised she would get out of bed and go to school. Peyton had offered to pick her up but Brooke said she would drive herself.

_"Brooke, I don't mind picking you up. It's not a big deal," Peyton said._

_"I know Peyt. But I want to drive myself," Brooke replied._

_"Are you really gonna come to school tomorrow?"_

_"I'll be there. I promise."_

Brooke turned off the water and walked back into her room. She looked through her closet for something to wear but nothing was good enough. Nothing she saw made her feel like everything was normal.

"Nothing is ever gonna be the same! Why did you have to take Lucas from me? Why Jimmy? I love Lucas with everything in me. And you shot him," Brooke cried as she threw article after article of clothing from the closet.

Ten minutes later Brooke was still standing in her towel with no clue what she was going to wear. That's when she spotted it—Lucas' gray "Keith Scott Body Shop" sweatshirt. A small smile played on her lips as she grabbed the sweatshirt and set out to find a cami to wear underneath along with a pair of jeans. As soon as she slipped the sweatshirt over her head Brooke felt a little bit better, like this was all she needed to get through the first day at Tree Hill High after the shooting.

Glancing at the clock, Brooke swore under her breath when she saw that it was 7:10—she had 20 minutes to finish getting ready and make it to school on time. Brooke flew around her room looking for shoes and a brush. Make-up was going to have to be absent from the Brooke Davis repertoire for the day and she didn't care if anyone said anything about it. What did they expect? Her boyfriend was shot in front of her and it had only been two weeks. 7:20, ten minutes to get to school. Brooke grabbed her bag and her keys and ran out the door. Only to turn around again to grab the necklace Lucas had given her for her birthday. It was a white gold chain with a rose pendant that he had the words "Broody and Cheery 4-ever" engraved on the back.

Meanwhile at Tree Hill High; Peyton, Haley and Nathan were waiting nervously. None of them were sure if Brooke was actually going to show up. They knew she said that she was going to show up but it wasn't the first time in the last two weeks that she told them she was gonna come to school. And she still hadn't shown up yet.

"I don't think she's coming," Peyton said as she checked her watch and read 7:25.

"She'll be here, Peyt. Brooke isn't gonna let her grief keep her away forever," Haley insisted.

"Haley's right. Brooke knows that Luke wouldn't want her to hide from the world forever. Give her a few more minutes Peyton," Nathan said.

They continued to sit on the picnic table in the front of the school; hoping and praying that Brooke was gonna show up this time. Just as they were about to get up to go in the building they heard a car door slam shut. Peyton's head snapped up and her eyes lit up when she spotted her best friend walking toward them.

Brooke closed her door and looked up at the school. Nerves shook her entire body as she stepped away from her car. There was a desperate desire in her to turn around and drive home but there was no going back now. It was time to return to life. Sighing and straightening herself out Brooke walked toward the building. She was so focused on where she was going that she didn't realize that she walked past her friends who were waiting for her at the picnic table.

"Brooke!" Peyton called as she watched her best friend stroll right by.

"Oh hey Peyton. I didn't realize you guys were sitting there," Brooke replied when she turned around to see her three friends looking at her.

"Welcome back Brooke," Nathan said as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Thanks. How are you?"

"I'm ok. You know, it's still tough but I gotta focus on what's in front of me."

Brooke felt tears well up in her eyes and she squirmed out of Nathan's embrace and ran into the school. Nathan watched with a twisted look of sorrow on his face. He hadn't meant to make her cry.

"Damn it," he muttered under his breath.

"It's ok babe. You didn't mean to upset her. She knows that. Just give it some time," Haley said as she wrapped her arm around his waist.

Nathan shook his head. He didn't want to hear that Brooke needed time. That wasn't lost on him. He needed time too. Lucas was his brother. And probably the truest friend Nathan ever had. But that was gone now. All because of Jimmy Edwards and a gun. That bastard killed his brother. Jimmy and Lucas had been friends, really good friends. More like brothers, until Lucas joined the basketball team.

"He's dead because of me. I convinced him to join the team and drop Edwards. Lucas died because I told him to change who he was," Nathan said sternly.

"Nathan, no. Don't go there. You didn't do this. Lucas didn't die because of you. Jimmy was an angry kid. Jimmy pointed the barrel at Lucas and Jimmy pulled the trigger. You didn't do any of that," Haley cried. She hated when Nathan blamed himself for Lucas' death.

Peyton had already gone into the building in search of Brooke. She had to make sure her best friend was okay. It came as no surprise to Peyton that Brooke was in the bathroom crying but what did surprise her was that she was crying on Rachel Gatina's shoulder.

"Brooke," Peyton said.

"I got this Peyton," Rachel insisted. Rachel and Brooke didn't always get along but they had their moments and right now was one of them.

"Rachel, please. I just wanna talk to her."

Rachel looked at Brooke who nodded that it was okay. With that Rachel gave Brooke one last hug before she left the bathroom. Peyton stood silent looking at Brooke. She told Rachel she wanted to talk to her but in reality she had no idea what to say to Brooke.

"He didn't mean it Brooke," Peyton finally said.

"You think I'm in here crying over what Nathan said?" Brooke asked.

"Well ya, you did come running into the building with tears in your eyes right after that."

"That has nothing to do with it. You have no idea how hard it was for me to get out of bed and come to school today. The only thing that has kept me from leaving is the promise I made to be here today. Along with Luke's sweatshirt and this necklace. Nathan could have dressed up in a fucking clown suit and said what he said and I still wouldn't know what it is. And what the hell is with everyone looking at me with sad eyes?"

"We are not."

"Bull. You're doing it now. Stop it. Please. You're not making this any easier for me."

Brooke watched as Peyton's jaw dropped before she stormed out of the bathroom toward her locker. This was really going to be a long day. She was walking so quickly and not looking where she was going that she didn't realize there was anyone in front of her until she was on the floor.

"Sorry I wasn't wat" Brooke started to apologize.

"That's ok, Brooke," Mouth said with a smile. He extended his hand to Brooke and helped her off the floor.

"Mouth."

He nodded as he pulled Brooke into a hug. Smiling at the gesture Brooke wrapped her arms tightly around Lucas' best friend. Out of everyone that was affected by the shooting it was Mouth that Brooke was looking forward to seeing the most.

"How are you?" Mouth asked looking her in the eye.

"I'm, you know, okay. I guess," Brooke replied.

"No you're not. It's okay you know. Are you sure you're ready for this?" Mouth gestured toward the halls and the lockers and the students. He hadn't expected to see Brooke so soon but he was glad she was making the effort.

"I'm not sure but that doesn't matter. I need to do this. I can't hide forever."

"Brooke you weren't hiding."

"Everyone else came back already. Even Nathan. His own brother came back after three days. I've been gone for two weeks. It's been two weeks and I still don't feel like I'm ready for this. I don't think I'll ever be ready but I can't run from it either."

Brooke had tears running down her face. This was too much. She hadn't even made it to her first class yet and this was already the third breakdown. Just as she was about to walk away Mouth reached for her hand. Brooke's head shot up and she looked at him questioningly.

"I'm here if you need anything," Mouth said sincerely.

"Thank you Mouth," Brooke answered as she let go of his hand and once again set off toward her class.

As she continued through the halls Brooke looked at the floor. If she looked up she would see the looks of sympathy on the face of everyone in the building as she passed by them. Everyone knew that Jimmy Edwards was the reason Lucas Scott was dead and what's more everyone knew how in love Brooke Davis and Lucas Scott had been. Quietly Brooke slipped into her class, English Lit. One of many classes she had had with Lucas. Brooke dropped her head on her desk, she didn't need anyone seeing her tears again.

"Morning class," Mr. Sadler said as he walked in the room a few minutes later. He glanced around the room and smiled when he saw Brooke was back.

"Miss Davis, glad to have you back," he continued.

"Thanks," she mumbled, her head still on the desk.

The first half of the day was a blur for Brooke. All she could think about was lunch. Maybe things would get easier after that. If not, then tomorrow was gonna be another day in bed and there was nothing anyone could do to stop her.

"Hey Brooke, how's your day gone?" Peyton asked as the two sat down at a table outside in the courtyard.

"I have no idea. I remember seeing Mouth this morning and something about Mr. Sadler welcoming me back but after that it's all fuzzy. This was a mistake," Brooke replied.

"Brooke, you gonna be at practice later?" Bevin Maskey asked as she sat down at the table.

"Gee, Bev, I dunno. Let me think about that? Go to practice and be in the gym wishing my boyfriend was on the side playing basketball and run out in tears or go home to avoid it all? What do you think?"

"Sorry I asked."

"Bevin don't be such an idiot. Brooke, take as long as you need. The squad's all yours when you come back," Rachel said as she sat down next to Bevin.

"Thanks Rach. I really appreciate it," Brooke said sincerely.

Rachel just smiled. She never let anyone in on it but she had seen her fair share of boyfriends dying before coming to Tree Hill so she had a real good idea what Brooke was going through. No one had been sympathetic with her expecting her to bounce right back and she hated it. Now was her chance to do something nice for someone else in the same situation. Even if she had been planning to scheme Lucas away from Brooke when she first got to town.

"Peyton, where's Tutor Girl? I feel like she's avoiding me or something," Brooke asked a few minutes later when neither Haley or Nathan had joined their table.

"Oh Haley's been eating with Mouth lately," Peyton lied.

"Don't lie to me Peyt. Is Haley avoiding me?"

"I don't know. She didn't say she was. I thought she was looking forward to you coming back today. At least that's what Nate told me."

Brooke rolled her eyes. This was just perfect. First her dead boyfriend's brother tries to be nice and now his best friend is avoiding her. Annoyed with it all Brooke stood up and left the table without another word. Peyton stood to go after her but Rachel reached over and placed a hand on her arm shaking her head.

"Let her go. I know you wanna help her Peyton but there's really nothing you can say to make this go away," Rachel said.

"Why are you being so nice to Brooke?" Peyton asked blatantly.

"Jealous are we?"

"Hardly."

"Look, I'm not trying to cause any drama. I know what it's like to be in Brooke's shoes. I've been there before. It hurts, really hurts. Nothing anyone says can take away the pain or bring Lucas back. Brooke's not stupid she gets that. But it doesn't help her move on when everyone is walking on eggshells around her or looking at her sympathetically all the time. Yes her boyfriend was shot right in front of her and yes she is still madly in love with him but no the world did not come to an end. She's still Brooke Davis and although I may not know her as well as the rest of you I do know that she will move on."

Peyton rolled her eyes at Rachel as she stood to leave the table. _Who the hell does she think she is. Telling me what Brooke's going through and what she does or does not need. _Peyton thought to herself as she went to find Brooke. There was only about 10 minutes left before the next class and she wanted to make sure Brooke was okay.

Brooke was standing inches from the parking lot. Staring at her car. Debating whether or not she should forget it and just go home. She was about to make her way toward the car when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't leave now Brooke. You've already made it this far. Come on," she heard Haley whisper.

"I can't do it, Hales. It's too hard," Brooke cried.

"Yes you can. Come on. I'll go with you."

Brooke didn't move. She couldn't, not if it meant going back into the school. She meant it when she said it was too hard. Being here and seeing everyone made it more real than she had counted on. Lucas was really gone.

_They were sitting outside on the picnic table, talking and joking around with their friends. Everything was normal for Brooke and Lucas. At least that's what they had thought. _

_"Walk me to class?" Brooke asked with a pouty lip when the bell rang._

_"Of course," Lucas agreed. _

_He hopped off the table and offered his hand to Brooke so she could do the same. Just as they were about to open the door and walk in the building there were gunshots fired behind them. Lucas whipped around to see where they had come from and found himself standing face to face with an angry and armed Jimmy Edwards. Brooke had scampered behind him and was peaking around his shoulder. _

"_Jim what are you doing?" Lucas asked calmly despite the nerves that ran through his body._

"_What I should have done a long time ago," Jimmy replied._

"_Come on man. Let's talk about this. Don't do it."_

"_Get out of my way."_

"_No. I'm not gonna let you go in there and shoot people. This isn't you. Put the gun down."_

"_Get out of my way." Jimmy shoved the barrel of the gun into Lucas' chest. Brooke whimpered behind him._

"_Brooke, go inside," Lucas told her._

"_Not without you," Brooke insisted._

"_Brooke, please. I'll be fine."_

"_No Lucas. I'm not leaving you."_

"_Brooke, I promise, I'll be fine. Just please go inside. Find Peyton, Haley and Nate. Make sure they're safe."_

_Brooke shook her head no. She wasn't going anywhere without Lucas and that was final. _

"_Yo Luke!" Nathan called from behind Jimmy, completely unaware of what was going on._

_Jimmy whipped around at the sound of another voice and pointed the gun in his direction. Nathan froze immediately, terror written all over his face. That didn't go unnoticed by Jimmy and he couldn't help but smile at the way things were going. _

"_Edwards, chill man. I'm not gonna touch you," Nathan said._

"_You're right. No one's gonna touch me. Get over there!" Jimmy yelled at Nathan as he waved the gun in Brooke and Lucas' direction. _

_Nathan didn't move. He couldn't. _

"_I said get over there!" Jimmy yelled again._

_Finally Nathan moved. He ran over to Brooke and Lucas. This wasn't how he expected the day to start. _

"_Jimmy come on. This isn't funny. Put the gun down," Lucas tried again._

"_Shut up," Jimmy said coldly._

_More kids were walking toward the building. None of them seemed to notice that Jimmy was standing there with a gun pointed directly at Lucas. Brooke did notice however and this made her nervous. Was Jimmy really gonna shoot Lucas? She didn't think so but strange things were known to happen in Tree Hill. _

"_Please Jimmy," Brooke pleaded. _

"_Please Jimmy," he mimicked Brooke's voice. _

"_Hey man. Don't tease her," Lucas snapped. _

_Jimmy had had enough. He went over to the three friends and yanked Lucas toward him. Brooke screamed as she threw herself into Nathan's arms. _

"_Jimmy!" Haley called from behind her friend after she witnessed him pull her best friend into a tight grip with a gun in the other hand._

"_Stay right there Haley," Jimmy warned her._

"_Please Jim. Let's talk about this. Do you really wanna hurt your friends?" _

"_I don't have any friends."_

"_You got me. And Luke."_

"_No I don't. You both ditched me and you took Mouth away from me too."_

"_Phone lines work two ways jack off," Nathan snapped._

_Jimmy whirled around in Nathan's direction and fired the gun three times. One hit the building, another bullet a student off to the side and the last one hit Nathan in the arm._

"_Damn it!" Nathan growled as he grabbed his arm._

"_NATHAN!" Haley yelled._

"_I'm fine."_

_Jimmy let go of Lucas and Brooke let go of the breath she was holding. She thought that it was over, Lucas had escaped without injury. But before she knew it another shot rang out and she watched Lucas fall to the ground. _

"_NO!" she yelled running over to Lucas' side. There was blood everywhere. Frantically Brooke tried to stop the bleeding but it was too much. Tears welled up in her eyes as she looked down at Lucas who was drifting quickly out of reach._

"_Brooke," Lucas choked out._

"_Luke please, don't give up," Brooke cried._

"_I love you."_

"_I love you too." _

_Brooke watched as Lucas' head fell back against the dirt and his eyes closed. All at once Lucas went limp in Brooke's grasp. Desperate to save him, Brooke yelled for someone to call an ambulance. She was determined not to lose him. Not now, not ever. They were supposed to be together forever. This wasn't supposed to happen. Tears spilled over as she hugged Lucas' limp body to hers tightly and sobbed. She was still holding on when the EMT's showed up. Peyton who had been in the building when everything started rushed out when she heard the first shot. She was holding Brooke in a tight embrace while the EMT's fought to save Lucas' life. Not too far from where they stood, Haley and Nathan were in a similar embrace with the exception of Nathan's arm being in a sling. _

"_I'm sorry. We lost him," the EMT said with a grim expression._

"_LUKE!" Brooke screamed as she crashed to the ground, sobbing wildly. She didn't even react when another gunshot rang out. Jimmy Edwards had done the unthinkable. First by taking the life of a friend and then his own. _

"Brooke?" Haley said softly.

"I'm sorry. I can't. I'm going home," Brooke shook her head as she ran to her car.

Haley watched as Brooke got in her car and sped away. It was hard on her with Lucas being shot but she knew how much Brooke loved him.

"Luke, she really misses you," Haley said as she turned to walk back into the building.

"Hey, have you seen Brooke?" Peyton asked as she caught up to Haley.

"Yeah. She just left," Haley replied.

"You let her leave?"

"Peyton I tried. I'm sorry. She doesn't wanna be here yet. We can't force that on her."

Brooke sped down the streets of Tree Hill with the music blasting and tears rolling down her cheeks. It had been a mistake for her to think she was ready to go back to school after only two weeks. Two weeks didn't change the fact that Lucas was dead and she'd never hear him say he loved her again. Two weeks didn't make the reality of it any less severe. All it did was add to the days Brooke was going to have to spend without Lucas. As that thought crossed her mind she finally let go and sobbed. By now she was home but she didn't have the energy to get out of the car. Instead she sat in her car and cried. For two hours. When she thought she couldn't cry anymore Brooke shut off the car and went in the house.

"I guess it's back to ice cream and sleeping," she said to herself as she opened the freezer and grabbed a carton of rocky road and a spoon before flopping onto the couch.

Nathan had watched Haley and Brooke talking from a distance. He could tell that Brooke was leaning toward leaving and that Haley had asked her to stay. If he had been over there he would have done the same thing but it was Brooke's choice. He just shook his head as he watched Brooke get in her car and drive away.

"Hey Coach, can we cancel practice this afternoon? I need to take care of something," Nathan asked Whitey as he stuck his head in the coach's office.

"I'm not gonna cancel but you may be exempt for the afternoon. Take care of Brooke," Whitey replied, knowing exactly what Nathan needed to take care of.

"Thanks."

The rest of the day went by rather quick for Nathan. He was glad. As soon as the bell rang for the last period he ran out of the building to find Haley. He was gonna tell her that he was skipping practice to check on Brooke even though he knew she would get upset with him.

"Hales!" he called when he spotted her.

"Hey babe," Haley replied, "let me guess. You're not going to practice again cause you're going to check on Brooke."

"I just wanna make sure she's okay. I saw her leave earlier."

"Okay, I'll see you later than?"

"Of course. I love you."

"I love you too."

Nathan kissed Haley quickly before running to his car. He wanted to get to Brooke's quickly before she was asleep. This had become a routine the past couple days. So he was pretty sure he still had sometime before Brooke was asleep. He reached the Davis house in record time. As soon as he was in their driveway Nathan slammed the car into park and killed the engine before dashing up to the door and knocking.

Brooke was drifting into sleep when she heard someone knock on the door. Reluctantly she stood to answer it, hoping it was Peyton.

"Nathan," she said as she opened it.

"Can I come in?" he asked hopefully.

"No."

Brooke closed the door in his face and went back to the couch. He stood there knocking for another 20 minutes before he gave up. Brooke sighed as she let herself fall asleep on t he couch. Yes, going back to school had been a mistake indeed. One Brooke wasn't repeating the next day. And that was it.


	2. Chapter 2

Nathan stepped into the apartment building and ran up to the apartment that he shared with Haley. It didn't surprise him that Haley wasn't home, after all cheerleading practice was still going on and if he remembered right she was also tutoring someone this afternoon. He would have gone back to the school for practice but knew Whitey wouldn't let him in since he was already late. Sighing Nathan grabbed the remote and turned on the tv. If Nathan was gonna be alone he was gonna kick back and watch something on the tv. It was the only thing that stood a chance at keeping his mind off Lucas and Brooke. This was getting a little out of hand, there had to be something he could do for Brooke. All Nathan knew was that he wanted to help but he really didn't have a clue how. It was tough for him too. Lucas was his brother.

"Forget it. The tv is useless too," Nathan stated to no one in particular. He clicked the remote off and tossed it on the couch.

Nathan looked around the apartment and decided he needed to get out. He grabbed his I-Pod and sweatshirt and decided to go for a run. It was something that he had normally done with Lucas. As thoughts of Lucas clouded his memory Nathan ran harder and faster. Everything passed by in a blur as tears fell from his eyes.

He was so focused on running that he hadn't even noticed where he was running to until he stopped in front of the café. Nathan hadn't gone in there much for the past two weeks. It was too hard, he still felt like he should walk in and see his wife and brother goofing around or actually working. He stood at the door unsure if he should go in or keep running. Just as he was about to keep running something changed his mind. Nathan walked closer to the door and pushed it open. The bell jingled above the door and made him jump. Karen was behind the counter and the place was packed. Nathan found an empty stool at the counter and sat down.

"Nathan, how are you?" Karen said cheerfully.

"Not so good Karen," Nathan replied.

"Would you like something to eat?"

"I'm not hungry. I really just wanted to come see you. I feel like I haven't been in here forever. And now I think I know why. It's still too hard. I'm sorry I have to go."

Nathan stood up and ran out of the café and kept going until he reached the River Court. Yet another place made him think of Lucas. He sat on a bench and stared at the basketball. Maybe if stared hard enough he could forget about the fact that his brother was gone. Nathan was still sitting there when he felt the weight shift. He looked up and found himself staring face to face with his uncle.

"Nate shouldn't you be at practice?" Keith asked.

"Whitey let me off today," Nathan replied.

"What for?"

"So I could check on Brooke."

"I don't see Brooke here. Are you sure that's why you got out of practice?"

"Yes. I went over there but she wouldn't let me in. So I went home but decided to go for a run. I went to the café and saw Karen but that was too hard so I ran here. Keith everything is so screwed up. It's like everywhere I go, everyone I look at makes me think of Luke. I shouldn't look at a little girl holding a jump rope and think about my dead brother but I do. It's too hard. I really miss him."

Nathan got choked up and broke down. Keith reached over and pulled his younger nephew into a hug.

"I know you miss him but it will get easier. I promise."

"How does it get easier? He's never coming back. My kids will never know their uncle. I hate this. I hate Jimmy. I'm glad he's dead. Bastard. He took my brother and my best friend."

Nathan sobbed into Keith's shoulder. Keith sat silently as Nathan continued to cry. He was at a complete loss of words. The more he listened to his nephew fall apart the more he wanted to bring Jimmy back to beat the shit out of him.

"What about Brooke? How's she holding up?" Keith asked after Nathan had calmed down.

"I don't know. She won't talk to anyone. She didn't even stay at school all day today. It was the first time she's been back and it was too much for her. I don't think she's gonna be there tomorrow. I can't say I blame her but I couldn't sit at home anymore. It was actually harder than getting up and living in my normal routine," Nathan replied as he wiped his eyes.

"Do I even wanna ask about Hales?"

"She's better now. It's still hard on her but she's controlling it a little more now. I think she's tired of crying everyday. Actually I think she's tired of crying in front of me everyday. Something about not wanting to make it harder on me."

Keith had no idea what to say. Instead the two Scott men sat at the table silently lost in their own thoughts.

"Well I just wanted to check on you. I gotta go back to the shop. Don't forget you can always came talk to me Nate," Keith said as he stood up to leave.

"Thanks Keith. I should probably head back to the apartment. Haley's probably worried about me," Nathan replied. The two men embraced before walking in opposite directions.

Brooke was still sound asleep when the doorbell rang. She grumbled as she got off the couch to see who it was.

"What," she snapped as she swung the door open.

"Well hello to you too," Peyton laughed.

"Sorry I'm not in the mood for company."

Brooke tried to shut the door but Peyton stuck her foot out. There was no way she was leaving Brooke alone. Brooke scowled at Peyton when she saw her foot in the door.

"I'm not leaving. Brooke we haven't really talked in two weeks. I'm worried about you," Peyton said seriously.

"Stop worrying, I'm fine," Brooke lied.

"Are you really?"

Brooke tried to smile but it gave way to a frown and the tears started again.

"No, I can't do this anymore. I don't wanna live without him. I don't know how."

"Brooke, don't say stuff like that. I'll help you through this. I know you miss Lucas."

"I don't just miss him Peyton, I still love him. I don't think I'll ever stop."

"You probably won't. There's always gonna be a special place in your heart that belongs to Lucas and that's fine but you can't give up on the rest of your life in the mean time. Look at you, you're young, you're beautiful. You'll get through this."

"Being young and beautiful isn't gonna make me feel better. I don't care if I'm young I don't care if I'm beautiful. Nobody will ever make me feel as beautiful as Luke ever did. Please, just go. I need to be alone."

"No. I'm serious. You stood by me when my mom died and then again when Ellie died. Now it's my turn to stand by you. We don't have to talk about anything. I'd be happy to sit here with you and let you cry if that's what you need. Whatever you need, I'm here."

Brooke didn't say anything. She just threw her arms around Peyton and rested her head on her shoulder. Peyton leaned her head against Brooke and sighed.

"Thank you," Brooke whispered.

"For what?" Peyton asked.

"Being you. Being here."

"You don't have to thank me for that."

"Yes I do. I've been a jerk, avoiding you and everyone else. I'm not the only one who misses Lucas and I've been acting like everyone should feel bad for me and when you do I get mad. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. I understand and so does everyone else. Especially Nate and Hales. . They know you're upset and that you miss Lucas."

"But it's not fair. And hey what's with you getting all bitchy with Rachel this morning? And then again at lunch."

"It was nothing."

"Peyton."

"Ok, I don't like that she seems to be swooping in and trying to take everything from everyone. First she tried to take Luke from you and now it's like she's trying to take you from me."

"Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer that is not gonna happen. Rachel may not be miss sweetheart all the time but she is my friend. You however are my best friend. It was just a coincidence that Rachel walked into the bathroom while I was crying and she offered her shoulder. I was in no position to object. Nobody is taking your place."

"I know. I'm sorry."

Brooke didn't say anything. She didn't have to. Peyton knew she was forgiven, that's just the kind of friendship they had.

"He was gonna be the one. I just know it. We already had kids names picked and everything. Our entire future was decided all we needed was for time to go by so we could reach those things. Now it'll never happen. I'll never the family I dreamt of because I'll never see Luke again," Brooke cried.

"It's ok. You'll have your family. Any guy would be lucky to have you," Peyton said sympathetically.

"No Peyton. I don't want anyone else! Lucas was the only one for me and now I'll never get married because he's dead!"

Brooke ran up the stairs and slammed her bedroom door shaking every window and picture frame in the house. She collapsed on her bed and buried in her face in her pillow. Tears flooded her eyes and dripped into her mouth. Peyton followed her up the stairs and knocked on the door.

"Brooke, let me in. Please," Peyton pleaded.

"No," Brooke replied.

"Please. Remember, I'm here for you. We don't have to talk."

Brooke didn't say anything. She just rolled her eyes as she heard the door open and close again. The mattress shifted under her as Peyton lay next to her. She desperately wanted to shove Peyton off the bed but she didn't have the energy.

"I love you," Peyton said as she wrapped her arm around Brooke and let her cry.

Just hearing Peyton say that made Brooke's tears come faster. No one else would love her the way Lucas did. His love was the only true love Brooke had ever known, aside from Peyton but that was different. The two girls were lying on the bed ten minutes later, Brooke's head buried in her pillow with Peyton next to her wrapping her arms around Brooke's body, when the phone rang. Peyton jumped off the bed to answer it.

"Hey Hales. Yeah, I'm over here with her. Did you think I was gonna take no for an answer? I'm a bit more stubborn then your hubby," Peyton laughed.

"How is she?" Haley asked nervously.

"It's horrible. She's laying face down with her face buried in the pillows. I don't think we've said anything to each other for at least a half an hour."

"Do you want me to come over? Maybe I could sit with her and you could take a break or something."

"I dunno Hales. It's worth a try."

"Good now get down here and let me in. The spare key isn't where it's supposed to be and the door's locked."

"No it's not. I unlocked it when I came over. And the key isn't where it's supposed to be cause I left it on the counter. I'm upstairs."

"Ok. See you in a second."

Peyton clicked the phone off and a second later she heard the front door close and then footsteps coming up the stairs. She met Haley at the top of the stairs and smiled when she saw the ice cream.

"I'm not an idiot. I know to come armed with ice cream when all is not right in the world of Brooke Davis," Haley said when she saw the look on Peyton's face.

The girls walked over to Brooke's bedroom door which Peyton had closed.

"Come on," Peyton said as she opened the door.

"Go away," Brooke muttered as she heard the door open.

"Nope. I have ice cream," Haley said trying to sound cheerful.

Brooke grabbed a pillow and chucked it. Haley and Peyton ducked as it came dangerously close to hitting both of them. They converged on the bed and laid next to Brooke and wrapped their arms around her. Maybe ice cream wasn't a good idea right now.

"It'll be okay," Haley said softly.

Brooke groaned. That was the last thing she wanted to hear right now. It was right up there with "I'm sorry" or "I know it's hard" or Brooke's personal favorite "I'm here if you need anything". She knew Haley meant well but that wasn't gonna make anything different.

"No it won't. It'll never be okay. You of all people should know that Haley," Brooke snapped into her pillows.

"Brooke please. Try to listen to me for a minute. I know you miss Luke. I do too but come on, you know as well as I do he wouldn't wanna see you like this."

"Hales, stop. Of course I miss Luke but I don't need to be reminded by other people. Being alive without him is becoming impossible. I really don't know if I can do it without him anymore."

Again tears were rolling down Brooke's cheeks. At least 7 times, that was the number Brooke had figured she'd cried today. A sob caught in her throat as she felt Haley and Peyton tighten their grip on her. Yes she had lost her boyfriend but she still had her best friends. She desperately wanted to thank them for being patient with her but the tears were coming harder and the sobs were more severe.

"Haley," Brooke choked out hesitantly.

"Ya Tigger?" Haley replied.

"Thank you. Really I know you mean well."

"You're welcome. Come here."

Peyton had fallen asleep so Brooke scooted a little closer to Haley. As soon as she moved over Haley tightened her grip on Brooke and they laid silently as tears fell from both their eyes.

"So I remember something about ice cream," Brooke said an hour later when the three girls woke up.

"Ya, it probably melted though," Haley laughed.

"I don't care. Let's go downstairs and get straws."

"Straws Brooke?" Peyton laughed.

"Why not?"

"Okay."

Haley grabbed the ice cream before the three girls left the room and went down to the kitchen.

"You know, maybe we should go to the cemetery," Peyton suggested cautiously.

"I dunno, do you think she's ready for that?" Haley asked as she put the ice cream in the freezer and wiped the counter off. Brooke was in the bathroom washing her face of the many tears she had shed so far in the day.

"You don't think who's ready for what?" Brooke asked as she walked back into the kitchen.

"Uh we were just talking about going for a walk," Haley stammered.

"Really? Where to or is that a secret?"

"Peyton suggested the cemetery. But we don't have to if you're not ready for that."

"You know what? I think I might be."

"Really?" Peyton asked.

"It's worth a try."

"Okay, come on. Let's go," Haley said.

The three girls stood up and left the house. Brooke was in the middle with Haley and Peyton on either side. They linked their arms as they walked toward the cemetery. Brooke was surprised to see that it was dark out. Lately time wasn't something she a concept of. Every second that passed was another second without Lucas and that was all she could tell anyone. They walked silently down the road each one thinking to themselves.

Brooke slowed down and started pulling back as they got closer to the cemetery. Suddenly she didn't think she was ready. Maybe going to the cemetery was a mistake like going to school had been. Haley and Peyton felt her pull back and gently pushed her forward. They were glad to see that she didn't fight them but instead she kept going. When they reached the edge of the cemetery Brooke dropped her arms from Peyton and Haley's grasps and walked on alone.

"Do you want us to" Peyton and Haley asked together.

"No, I think I need to do this myself," Brooke insisted as she kept going. They nodded as they watched Brooke walk toward the grave.

Brooke scanned the names on the headstones as she passed each one. She looked around until her eyes fell on the one she was looking for but wished wasn't there. There in front of her was a slab of concrete announcing to the world that Lucas Eugene Scott was dead. Dead and never coming back. Brooke fell to her knees in front of his grave and sobbed.

"Lucas I need you so much. I can't do this without you. It's too hard. You are my life, you mean the world to me. Without you I feel like I have no reason to keep going. I love you. Do you hear me? I love you!" Brooke cried.

Haley and Peyton watched her fall apart from a distance. Their hearts broke for her as the sobs grew louder and she started pounding on the headstone.

"All my dreams of marrying you and being your wife and the mother to your children are gone. Why did you have to be taken from me? Lucas I can't do this. Please come back to me. I need you. I really can't do this without you. Nobody makes me feel the way you did. Nobody. Not Peyton or Haley or Nathan or Mouth. Please, don't make me go on without you. I can't do it. Damn it!" Brooke screamed as she continued to pound the stone.

"Ok, come on. We have to go over there and stop her before she hurts herself," Haley said as she moved to step toward Brooke.

"No, Hales. I know this is hard to watch but it's good that she's getting her emotions out. Let her go. I don't even know if she remembers we came down here with her," Peyton said as she grabbed Haley and pulled her back.

"How can you stand here and watch this without wanting to cry? I don't care if you stand here but I'm going over there."

"Haley don't. It's ok. She needs to do this."

Haley ignored Peyton as she walked toward Brooke who was still sobbing as she sat on the ground. Carefully Haley sat next to Brooke and pulled her into a hug. Brooke felt Haley wrap her arms around her and let her head fall on her shoulder as she continued to sob.

"I'm sorry we suggested this," Haley whispered.

"No it's ok. I'm glad you did," Brooke managed to reply.

"You are? Brooke I've never seen anyone beat the crap out of an inanimate object the way you just did to this gravestone."

"I did go kinda crazy huh?"

"Oh ya. But if it made you feel better then I'm glad."

"It didn't. I just had so much frustration built up inside that I don't know what came over me."

"Let me tell you then. You're in love with Lucas and you're mad at Jimmy for what he did."

Brooke thought about yelling at Haley to let her know she didn't want someone else to tell her how she felt or what had come over her. That wasn't gonna make things any better.

"Oh gosh, Brooke, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to make it sound like I know what you're feeling and why you did that. Please, don't be mad at me," Haley apologized.

"I'm not mad," Brooke said.

Haley breathed a sigh of relief as they sat there. Peyton looked on from the edge of the cemetery before she decided to join them. Things had seemed like they were calmer so maybe a third person would be a welcomed change for Brooke and Haley.

"Hey mind if I join you?" Peyton asked as she sat next to Brooke.

"Of course not. Come on over," Brooke answered.

Life without Lucas was tough but Brooke was beginning to wonder if maybe it was possible to get through it. He wouldn't want her to be miserable and if Brooke knew Lucas, which she did, having Peyton and Haley with her was his work too somehow. The three girls sat there and talked, as if they were talking to Lucas. They took turns telling him what had been happening at school; well Peyton and Haley did at least. Brooke told him that she thought maybe she'd try going back to school again the next day because she thought he would want that for her. Peyton and Haley looked at each other and smiled when Brooke said that.

"Come on, let's go. It's getting late," Peyton said.

"You guys go ahead. I'm gonna stick around here for a little while longer," Brooke insisted.

"Are you sure? Cause I can stay if you want me to," Haley said.

"No, no. Go. Both of you. I'm sure Nathan needs you and Peyton, you've been so good to me today but I really think I'm okay."

"All right. Don't forget, call if you need"

"Anything, I know. I got it. Thanks. Now if you don't mind. I'd like to be alone now," Brooke cut them off.

Haley and Peyton each hugged Brooke before getting up to leave her alone for a while. Brooke sat there and just stared at the grave. She was okay, wasn't she? Could she really handle being here, in front of Lucas' grave alone without Haley or Peyton a few feet away? Well it was too late for that now, she had told them to go.

"Lucas, there is so much I wanna tell you. Most of it you know because you know me so well. You will always have a special place in my heart, from now until my dying day. My heart belongs to you and you alone, Lucas Scott. I love you. I promise to come back more often. Good-bye, I miss you," Brooke said after she composed herself. She was just standing to leave when she heard a noise behind her. She turned around and saw Nathan standing there staring at her.

"Oh hi, Nate. What are you doing out here so late?" Brooke asked curiously.

"Came to talk to Luke. I didn't know anyone else was here. I'll come back," Nathan replied as he started walking away.

"No it's ok. I was just heading home anyway. You should have some time to talk to Luke. You deserve it."

"Thanks."

Brooke started to walk away but Nathan pulled her back and hugged her tightly.

"We'll get through this," Nathan whispered in her ear.

Brooke nodded as she released herself from Nathan's embrace and made her way home in the dark. Nathan sat down in front of the grave and watched Brooke walk away until he couldn't see her anymore.

"Hey Luke, it's Nate. I haven't been by since well you know, the other day. And I just wanted to say I'm sorry and I miss you. I saw your mom and Keith today. They're both still a wreck. We all are but you what? Keith's right, maybe this will get easier. If we just all remember to carry a piece of you in our hearts everywhere we go. Hales and I are thinking about colleges. She wants to go to Stanford still and you know I wanna go to Duke but I'm not so sure if I can leave Tree Hill right now. Maybe I'll go to UNC or NC State. I dunno though. It's all up in the air. I guess I should talk to Hales about this too because it will affect her too. Well I just wanted to catch you up on things. I'll be back. Love you bro," Nathan said as he kissed his hand and slapped the headstone.

Nathan stood up and brushed himself off before he jogged out of the cemetery toward his apartment. He ran right past the café and noticed it was still open. He was about to keep going when he thought he saw Brooke sitting on a stool at the counter. Maybe things were looking up, Brooke was starting to come around. He took a step toward the door but changed his mind. She needed to have some time to talk to Karen alone without him popping up everywhere she was. If the situation was reversed, Nathan would be annoyed if Brooke kept showing up in places he was at.

Meanwhile in the café Brooke was picking at a grilled cheese sandwich and only taking smalls sips from her hot chocolate. Karen watched her from the other side of the counter and her heart broke just looking at her.

"Karen, do you think it will ever not hurt to miss Luke?" Brooke asked.

"I really don't know. It'll probably always hurt but I think with time you'll be all right," Karen replied.

"What about you? Are you gonna be all right? I mean, yes I love your son but that's just it. Lucas is your son. You raised him and I just can't imagine what it must feel like for you knowing how I feel about it."

"I think I will. You know, Lucas was lucky to have you."

"No he wasn't. I was lucky to have him. He helped me see things from a whole different light. I don't think I would have this outlook if it weren't for Lucas' influence on me. He helped me realize I want to be more than just the drunken, slutty captain of the cheerleading squad."

"And he would still want you to be more than that now. You will be, I know it. There's no way you're gonna fall back into your old ways. As long as you keep Lucas in your heart he will be with you everywhere you go."

"Thanks Karen. It's nice to have a conversation with someone that doesn't include the words "I'm sorry" or "I'm here for you" or "it gets easier". I feel much better. Thanks for the food it was great, as always."

"You're welcome. Don't be a stranger. I'm still around."

"I won't."

Brooke dropped her money on the counter and then she turned to leave the café. She smiled to herself as she kept walking. For a day that had started out so rough Brooke thought it was ending pretty well. She unlocked the door and made her way up to her bedroom. She scanned the room for her journal and a pen. When she spotted them she sat on her bed and opened it to a clean page.


	3. Chapter 3

Three weeks had gone by since the first day Brooke went back to school. She had been going everyday and the looks of sympathy weren't as often or annoying as when she first went back. Peyton, Haley and Nathan had been so great to her. Along with Mouth and Rachel. Even some of the guys from the River Court that Lucas played ball with would stop by just to say hi or see how she was. Today was the last game of the regular season for the Ravens and for the first time since Lucas was shot Brooke was looking forward to putting on her cheerleading uniform and stepping into the gym. Yes, things were finally looking up for Brooke and she was grateful.

"Hey Brooke, you ready for the game tonight?" Peyton asked as they walked through the halls with their arms linked.

"You know what? I really think I am. Yes it's going to be weird to be in that gym and not see Lucas out there but I can do it. I'm taking him with me when I step out there," Brooke replied.

Peyton glanced at her questioningly.

"In here Peyt. He's always gonna be in here. And I'm wearing the necklace like usual."

"Of course. I should have known."

"Yes you should have. Now come on, we have to get to class."

"Wow, you're in a good mood today."

"Don't squash it."

"Sorry."

When the day was over Brooke ran out to her car and jumped in. They weren't having cheerleading practice because of the game that night. Brooke was grateful because she was beginning to feel her mood swing in a direction that was anything but upbeat. Taking a shower and laying around would do the trick; at least Brooke hoped it would. If not, being at the game was gonna be a lot harder than she originally thought.

Brooke pulled into her driveway and got out of the car. She ran up the stairs and into the bathroom desperate to take a shower. It was the one place she still cried daily over Lucas. Even though she still cried daily Brooke was pleased with herself that she had managed to keep her emotions in check when she was at school now. It made being around people easier. Some people anyway. There were still some people Brooke had a hard time being around. But now wasn't the time to focus on any of that. All Brooke wanted to do right now was take a shower and boost her spirits before they fell back to pitiful depths.

Twenty minutes later Brooke stepped out of the shower and grabbed a tank top and shorts. She got dressed real quick before going downstairs. Suddenly the idea of sleeping the afternoon away wasn't what Brooke felt like doing. No, not at all. In fact Brooke felt like going for a run, even though she had just taken a shower. Satisfied with the new desire Brooke grabbed her I-Pod and left. There were still a couple hours left before she had to be back at the school. As Brooke ran she smiled at the people she passed by them. Maybe she would find a way to get by even with the love she had for Lucas burning bright everyday despite the loss.

"One day at a time," Brooke kept saying as her feet pounded the pavement.

She ran as hard as she could until she reached the River Court where she stopped to watch a group of guys play ball. It surprised her that she could watch without getting emotional but she knew that was a good sign. The little things weren't bothering her as much as they had been. As she listened closer Brooke thought she recognized Mouth's voice and she sprinted toward him when she spotted him sitting in the bleachers. It was no surprise that he was down at the River Court announcing for the boys.

"Hey Mouth," she said as she sat next to him.

"Hey Brooke. How are ya?" he asked warmly.

"I'm doing good."

"Really?"

"Ya really. And I mean it this time. How's the game going?"

"Skills and the gang are kicking ass. Luke would be proud."

"Good. Are you ready for tonight's game? I wouldn't want you to have to miss the game because you scream yourself hoarse now."

"Don't worry about a thing. I don't scream like that down here. I save that for the Ravens and their fans. Are you ready for the game?"

"I think so. It's gonna be weird because it's the first game I'm going to, never mind cheering in, since Luke's been gone. But you know something? I'm taking him out there with me. Because he's always gonna be in my heart and that's all I need to get through the game tonight."

"I'm so glad. It's been heartbreaking to watch you the past few weeks."

"Gee thanks Mouth."

"I'm sorry but you looked like death warmed over and I'm not being funny."

"You know, I always could count on you to tell me the truth."

"Of course. Even when the truth hurts, it's gotta be told."

Brooke rested her head on Mouth's shoulder. She forgot how good it felt to be around him. Lately he had been one of few people she couldn't face. And it wasn't because of anything he had done or said. That was just the way her moods went. There was a week where she didn't acknowledge Nathan as well but that was over now and Brooke and Nathan were both grateful for that. It was hard on each of them because she desperately wanted to let him in and he wanted her to let him in.

"What are you doing after the game tonight?" Mouth asked suddenly.

"I'm not sure. I think I was just gonna go home, take a shower and call it a night," Brooke replied suspiciously.

"Oh so no chance I could convince you to have coffee or something with me instead?"

"Not tonight Mouth. I'm sorry. I don't think I'm gonna be up for company after the game. I mean I'm in a good mood now and I could be in a good mood later but with everything I really just think I'd be better off going home after the game tonight."

"No problem. It was worth a shot. You'll say yes someday because Brooke Davis can't turn down a friend all the time."

"No I can't. Well I'm gonna head off. I should head back to my house and get ready for the game."

"Brooke it's only 4:30. There's plenty of time to get ready. Stay a little while. Please."

"Mouth let her go. Brooke get out of here. Finish your run," Skills yelled from the court.

"Thanks so much for your permission Skills. Didn't know I needed it," Brooke laughed.

"Anytime doll. See you at the game later."

Brooke nodded. She kissed Mouth's cheek before she hopped off the bleachers and ran back toward her house. As she got closer to her house she decided to keep running. Mouth was right; she still had time before she had to actually start getting ready for the game. It wasn't like she had to look good for anyone in particular. He wouldn't see her efforts if she did anyway so Brooke wasn't gonna bother going crazy with the make-up. In fact it was a possibility she may once again not bother with make up at all.

"Nathan don't you think someone should warn Brooke about tonight," Haley said as they sat on their couch watching a movie.

"I don't know who else knows besides me and I didn't have the heart to tell her. She was in such a good mood today and I was afraid if I told her that Luke's number is being retired she'd freak out and then her mood would shift and she'd change her mind about being at the game tonight. I think it's better this way. She'll want to be there to see number 3 lifted up to the rafters. And since no one else knows about it she will be," Nathan replied.

'I hope you're right."

"Relax Hales. Everything will be fine. I'm not saying Brooke is gonna stand there and be excited to watch his number go up. I believe she can handle it. And if she gets choked up, you and Peyton will be right there for her. She's not gonna be standing there alone."

Haley shifted so her head was in Nathan's lap and closed her eyes. She was getting kind of tired and they had plenty of time before either one of them had to be back to the school. Nathan played with her hair as they sat there.

"Haley," he said quietly.

"Ya Nathan?" she whispered.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

With that they were both asleep.

Peyton was sitting at her desk staring blankly at the computer screen in front of her. She had been spending a lot of time watching the Internet broadcasting of the time capsule. Especially Jimmy and Lucas' entries. The more she listened to what Jimmy said the more Peyton knew that he had been plotting to kill more than two people. He had wanted everyone dead but that didn't happen. Instead he had only killed Lucas and himself. Lucas' entry made her cry because he spoke about taking Dan down for good and then how he hoped in 50 years to be married to a wonderful woman like Brooke.

"Oh Luke, tonight is the first game Brooke's going to since you've been gone. I don't know if she's ready for this. Please just watch over her," Peyton said aloud.

She clicked off the Internet and grabbed her sketchbook. She suddenly felt like drawing and when she was done her eyes grew wide. It was a picture of Brooke and Lucas and a little baby. She called it "the family that should have been". Carefully, she took the picture out of the book and looked for a place to hide it. She knew that if Brooke found it, there would be an ugly blow up and Peyton didn't wanna see that happen.

"Hello," Peyton said as she grabbed the phone.

"Hey it's me," Haley said.

"What's up?"

"Brooke doesn't know."

"What are you talking about? What doesn't Brooke know?"

"Oh wait, I forgot, you don't either."

"Hales, what's going on? I'm confused."

"Luke's number is being retired tonight."

"Oh. That's what Brooke doesn't know?"

"Ya. I thought I should let you know what's going on. Nathan doesn't think anyone should tell her though. I'm not sure I agree with that though."

"I dunno Hales. It doesn't sound like a bad idea not telling her but telling her sounds good too. What are we gonna do? If we don't and she finds out we knew before hand she might get pissed but if we don't tell her it might work in our favor."

"I know. It's not easy trying to decide. Honestly I think that if anyone is gonna tell her it should be Nathan but he really doesn't wanna say anything. He thinks letting her be surprised is better."

"Let me talk to him for a minute."

"Ok, hang on."

"What's up Peyt?" Nathan asked when he got on the phone.

"Why would you think surprising Brooke would be a good idea?"

"Because if we tell her that they're retiring his number tonight she might decide not to come to the game because she won't wanna be anymore emotional than we know she's already gonna be and then she'd be upset that she missed watching his number be lifted into the rafters. I'm not saying it's a great idea or anything, I just think it's better this way. She'll get to see him being honored in a way that not many people have ever been honored in Tree Hill basketball and I know he would want her there for this."

"Okay but if she breaks down you get take care of it tonight."

"Hey, she's your friend too. Come on, you know it's a good idea not telling her. You know you want her to be there and that the only way to make sure she doesn't miss it is to not tell her that it's happening tonight."

"How do so few people know about this?"

"Whitey only told the team and made us all promise not to talk about it. He knew that if Brooke caught wind of it she'd get upset and he doesn't want that either. I of course had the privilege of telling Haley and Karen that they're doing this tonight. Let me tell you, it wasn't easy telling two of the three most important women in Luke's life that he's being honored this way."

"Okay. Oh shoot! I gotta go, I promised Brooke I'd be at the gym early and I still have to change. I'll see you at the game Nathan. Good luck tonight."

"Thanks Peyt. See you later."

"Tell Haley bye for me."

"I will. Later."

"Bye."

Peyton shut off her phone and ran around her room looking for her gear. She was gonna change at the school so all she had to do was get something to eat and then drive over to the school. Her and Brooke were getting together to talk a little bit before the game but Brooke wanted to do it at the school so she couldn't chicken out and skip out on returning to the squad. Peyton wasn't surprised when she pulled up to the school and saw Brooke leaning on the hood of her car. She got out of her car and walked over to Brooke.

"Hey B. Davis. How are ya?" Peyton greeted happily as she hugged her friend.

"Honestly, I'm nervous. I dunno know if I can do this. I mean I thought just being here during the day without Lucas was hard but the real test will be tonight when I step out onto the sidelines and watch the team warm up and I don't see number 3. I'm not even sure it's really hit me yet in terms of basketball. I'm kinda scared of my reaction. And the fact that there will be people in the stands to witness my return is nerve wracking in itself. I need you to promise me if I get out there and don't feel like I can do it, you'll make me stay. At least through halftime. That's my goal right now. Making it through halftime," Brooke replied.

Peyton sighed. If that was Brooke's goal for the night she was pretty sure that was as far as Brooke was gonna get once they raised Luke's jersey to the rafters. Especially since she had a pretty good feeling that they were gonna do it before the game started. She wanted so badly to tell Brooke but Nathan's words kept ringing in her head and she kept it to herself.

"Ok, we'll get you through halftime and then we'll talk about you getting back out there for the second half when we reach that point," Peyton replied.

"Thank you."

"Come on, let's go inside. The other girls will be here soon."

Peyton had asked Rachel to be there early too but she hadn't told Brooke. She didn't want Brooke to get upset and think that Peyton felt like she needed another person there to make sure Brooke didn't leave before the game started.

"Don't you mean Rachel's waiting inside already?"

"How did you know?"

"Peyton, just because Lucas is dead and things are harder on me doesn't mean I'm stupid. I know you asked her to be here now too. I may not know why but it doesn't matter. All I know is that you asked and she's here. I watched her go by pretending like she didn't see me. It was actually fun to watch her."

"You're not mad at me?"

"No, why would I be? I told you before; Rachel and I are friends. It doesn't matter to me that she tried to Lucas from me because in the end she ended up pushing him back to me."

Peyton stood there, jaw dropped, staring at Brooke. She couldn't believe what she had just heard. First Rachel wanted to steal Lucas away from Brooke and when that didn't work she pushed him to go back to her? This was crazy, Peyton's head was spinning. She couldn't think about it anymore.

"You okay Peyt?" Brooke asked her.

"Ya, I'm good. Let's go," Peyton replied.

They linked arms and walked into the school carrying their gym bags on their opposite shoulders. As soon as they were in the locker room Rachel was standing there waiting for them.

"You asked me to be here early Peyton, what's up? Is everything okay?" Rachel asked.

"Ya, everything's fine. I just thought you should be here too since you've been the acting captain during Brooke's absence," Peyton replied.

"Oh. All right then. Brooke, listen, I know this has to be really hard on you but remember, you don't have to do this if you're not ready. Whatever you decide, Peyton and I, along with the rest of the squad will back you up all the way. We're a team and you are our captain so as your team it's our job to stand by you. Right Peyton?"

Peyton nodded.

"I'm ready. At least I think I'm ready. And even if I'm not, I wanna try. It's time to get back to living my life. I know it's never gonna be the same again but I can't stop everything because Lucas is gone. He wouldn't want that for me and I've known that all along but thinking about it and doing it are two different things. It's time for me to do what I know is right. One day at a time is all I can focus on," Brooke said.

"I agree that you gotta do one day at a time but that doesn't mean you have to do this if you're not ready. That's all I'm saying."

"I know Rachel. I told Peyton my goal as of right now is to make it through halftime. If I get that far and I'm still in a good mood I'll finish out the game but if I get that far and feel like I don't wanna be here anymore then I'll stop. So for now, I need you to help me remember that my goal is to get through halftime. And we'll talk second half when it comes."

"You got it."

"Thanks. Oh and one more thing, Rach."

"What's up Brooke?"

"I'm not sure I'm ready to take my role as captain on tonight."

"Don't you worry about a thing. I'll take care of it."

"Thank you."

Rachel didn't say anything. Instead she pulled Brooke into a hug. She was glad that Brooke had shown up tonight, it was for the best. Even more than that, Rachel was glad that Brooke wasn't gonna try and take on everything her first game back with the squad. It was smart of Brooke to decide to ease her way back in. During practice she was splitting time with Rachel as captain but usually she gave way to Rachel completely about half way through. Nobody understood why Brooke had made Rachel co-captain over Peyton but that didn't matter. Brooke did things that way because she didn't think Peyton wanted the responsibility and because she didn't want to hear anyone bitch about it. This way, there were no thoughts of favoritism in her choice. Rachel had been hesitant at first but Brooke asked her to just do it because she couldn't handle it and she knew that Rachel would do a good job.

"Brooke, I need to talk to Rachel real quick," Peyton said.

"Okay?" Brooke answered questioningly.

"We'll be right back."

Peyton grabbed Rachel's arm and dragged her out of the locker room. If Rachel was the acting captain tonight Peyton thought she should tell her about the jersey.

"What's going on? Why couldn't you talk to me in front of Brooke?" Rachel asked when they finally stopped.

"Because she can't hear this. They're retiring Luke's number tonight. Before the game," Peyton replied.

"What? Oh my god. She's gonna freak out. Peyton we have to tell her. It's not a good idea to let her be surprised. Why would you keep that from her?"

"Haley just told me today. She only knows because of Nate. Why he told her though I'm not sure but I guess he also had to tell Karen. Anyway, Haley and I both wanted to tell Brooke but Nathan said not to."

"What for? That doesn't make any sense."

"He said if she knew what they were doing she would decide not to come to the game and not see his number raised to the rafters. He also said if she missed it she'd be upset and that it's better if no one says anything to her."

"That's insane! We have to tell her. Seriously. We can't let her be ambushed like this. Getting her to this point has been tough enough. If we don't tell her all our efforts to help get Brooke back on the right track will go out the window tonight. Is that what you want?"

"No, of course not. Look, I'm not telling her but it's not because I want her to get ambushed. I promised Nathan I wouldn't say anything to her. If you decide to tell her that's on you but it's better this way."

"I still don't see how. I mean I get that she would kick herself if she missed this but if we tell her, she might actually appreciate it."

"How's she gonna know we knew about it if we don't say anything?"

"Peyton think about what you just said and who you just said it about. You know you can't lie to Brooke and you know if we don't tell her she'll just find out later that we knew and kept it from her. I'm not really sure I wanna deal with the wrath of Brooke if we just let it be a surprise."

"I'm not sure I wanna deal with the wrath of Nathan if I tell her. If we go out there and tell her, we run the risk of her leaving. If she leaves Nathan will know someone told Brooke what's going on and he'll be pissed. He wants her to see this tonight. And the only way he thinks she'll be able to if she doesn't know it's coming."

"Fine but don't say anything to anyone else. Especially Bevin and make sure Haley keeps her mouth shut too. If Brooke's gonna be surprised so is the rest of the squad. But if Brooke freaks out and runs I'm putting you in charge of that. I'm acting captain tonight so I can't leave at any point."

"I know this sucks Rachel. I wish we could just tell her and hope for the best but if we tell her I only see it working against her."

"Forget it. We'll keep it to ourselves and hope for the best. Her goal is to get through halftime so let's focus on that."

"Good idea. Okay we should get back in there."

"Shit we left her in there alone. The rest of the squad is probably in there bombarding her. Haley won't be able to ward them off alone. Let's go."

Peyton and Rachel took off toward the locker room. Each one of them hoping that the other girls hadn't gotten there yet and if they had that none of them were pestering Brooke. That was the last thing she needed right now. Only a handful of people knew just how hard this night was gonna be for Brooke.

"Where the hell have you been?" Brooke asked when Peyton and Rachel burst into the locker room.

"Sorry I needed to talk to her about something important," Peyton said looking at the floor.

"Ya, sorry. We didn't mean to leave you by yourself for so long. Is anyone else here yet?" Rachel apologized.

"They're all here. I made them all leave the locker room though. They were being too loud and peppy for me. I couldn't take it. I thought Haley was gonna rip Bevin's head off her shoulders when she walked in."

"Oh crap. Peyton you stay in here with Brooke, I'll talk to the rest of the girls. We'll all be back in ten minutes," Rachel said as she turned to leave.

"Oh, they're about to get their butts chewed out. Too bad we can't go witness that," Brooke laughed.

"How are you doing? You ready for this?" Peyton asked.

"I think so. But there's only one true way to find out. And that's for me to step out onto that gym floor and do my thing. I'm just worried I'm gonna get out there and freeze or I'm gonna spot Karen and Keith and break down."

"Hey, don't worry about that. If you get out there and any of that happens, it's all right. Rachel and I will handle things. You focus on you and we'll worry about everything else. You're not the captain tonight, Rachel is and as your best friend I'm appointing myself as your watchful eye. Rachel and I decided we're gonna switch up the formation a little bit too."

"What? How?"

"Don't worry. It's not that big of a difference. Haley, Bevin and Rachel are switching spots with each other. Then Rachel's switching again. So it'll be Haley in Bevin's spot, Bevin in Rachel's spot and Rachel in your spot."

"What about me then? Where am I going?"

"Haley's spot."

"All the way in the back?"

"Ya, just for a little while. Rachel thought it would be better for you so you're not in the middle of everyone your first night back."

"Okay."

"Listen up girls. As you all know tonight is Brooke's first night back with us since Lucas was shot. She's not the captain tonight. I'm the captain for one more night. And as your captain I'm asking you to remember that Brooke knows Lucas is gone, she doesn't need any of us to remind her. What we can do for her tonight is make it a good night. Her goal is to make it through halftime and as a squiad we're gonna pull together and make it happen for her. So there's not gonna be any retarded drama tonight. If any of you have problems with anyone else leave them out here because you're not taking them in that locker room tonight. Got it?" Rachel said to the other nine girls.

"How come she made you captain?" Bevin asked.

"Oh my god, Bevin, will you give it up already!" Haley snapped, "All you've done is bitch about Rachel being made captain. I'm not saying I'd be a better captain then Rachel but there is no way in hell you could do half the job either one of them have done for us."

"Bevin, Haley. Chill out. Brooke made me captain because she did. I didn't ask for it. That was just the decision she made. End of story," Rachel explained to Bevin, who proceeded to pout, "Now let's go back in the locker room and for the love of God be quiet and leave Brooke alone."

They all walked back into the locker room. Ten minutes had past, just like Rachel had said. Peyton and Brooke were sitting on one of the benches along the row of lockers. Brooke's head was on Peyton's shoulder and Rachel could see the tears glistening in her eyes. Maybe Brooke wasn't gonna make it to halftime after all. Right now Rachel didn't even think Brooke was gonna make it out for the beginning of the game. Haley sat down next to Brooke on the other side and hugged her.

"You can do this Brooke," she whispered.

Brooke nodded slightly. Haley was right, she could do this. She just didn't know if she was gonna do it. Only time would tell. And Brooke was running out of time.


	4. Chapter 4

Nathan and the rest of the Tree Hill Ravens were in the locker room. Game time was about 10 minutes away. They were listening to Whitey's pre-game speech. Or they were trying to at least. Most of them couldn't tell you what Whitey said to them if you offered them $1 million in cash. Their thoughts were on Lucas and the fact that tonight their teammate, friend and brother was going to be honored.

"All right boys, I know this is an emotional night but let's not forget that we're here to play ball too. Let's do this for Lucas," Whitey said as he finished up.

The entire team cheered and clapped their hands. Whitey was right, this wasn't just about Lucas' number being retired but they had to remember not to forget about him too. Even in death Lucas was a part of their team. As a tribute to their fallen teammate, they each had black wristbands with the number 3 along with "LES" stitched on them in white lettering. Whitey had one too.

"Before we go out there, I wanna say something," Nathan said.

Whitey nodded.

"Tonight is the last game of the regular season. Tonight my brother is being honored in a way he never would have expected. Hell he would say we were crazy for retiring his number because he wasn't good enough. That's a bunch of crap. Luke was one hell of a baller and he definitely deserves this. But if we're really gonna honor the legacy of Lucas Scott we have to win the game. Tonight, I am not your captain. I'm just another guy on the team. That doesn't mean I won't help lead us to victory cause you know I will but I don't wanna wear the "C" tonight. Not if Luke can't be here to wear the other one with me. Now let's get out there and do this thing. Everybody put your hands in. Ready, for Luke, on three. One, two, three…"

"FOR LUKE!" all twelve guys yelled.

The team walked out of the locker room toward the gym in a hyped and yet reserved manner. They all knew what was coming but they didn't wanna make it feel like they were walking out to a funeral or something. Nathan was the last one out onto the floor followed by Whitey. The crowd cheered as they made their way over to their bench. Nathan glanced over to the cheerleaders and smiled when he saw Brooke with them. _So far so good. _He thought to himself.

"Ladies and gentlemen. Boys and girls. Welcome to another night of Tree Hill High Ravens' basketball. I'm Mouth McFadden," Mouth said as the crowd settled down, "Tonight's season finale for the Ravens is against the Oak Lake Owls. But before we get under way with tonight's action, Coach Durham has a special presentation he'd like to make."

The entire gym fell silent as Whitey took the microphone that was handed to him and stepped out into the middle of the gym floor. He scanned the crowd until his eyes fell on Karen and he motioned for her to join him. Karen stood and walked down the bleachers and stood next to Whitey.

"As most of you know there was a tragic shooting here about a month ago. Lucas Scott's life was cut short by a fellow student. Tonight we want to honor his legacy. Now I've asked his mother, Ms. Karen Roe, to join me here. Not so I could rub this in her face but because I want to present her with this plaque in honor of the great young man her son had been," Whitey said, "Karen, your son was an amazing young man. One of the finest I've ever had the privilege of coaching."

"Thank you Whitey," Karen said her eyes brimming with tears.

"But that's not all. Boys," Whitey said signaling to Nathan and Skills. The two boys walked over holding Lucas' white home jersey, "Tonight, as a tribute to what Lucas Scott means to the Tree Hill Ravens basketball team, we want to retire his jersey number."

Brooke's jaw dropped. They were retiring Lucas' number. She looked at Peyton and Rachel, both of them were cringing. They were retiring Luke's number and they knew and didn't tell her. _Damn them! They should have said something. I can't be here to watch this_ Brooke thought to herself as the tears that she had been fighting spilled over.

Peyton elbowed Rachel when she saw the tears on Brooke's cheeks. She immediately wished they had told her about the jersey thing. Rachel looked over when she felt Peyton elbow her. Knowing it had to be something involving Brooke, Rachel glanced back and she too saw the tears on Brooke's cheeks. _Shit, she's not gonna make it to halftime now. We should have told her. _Rachel thought as she moved to stand next to Brooke.

"You knew about this?" Brooke asked.

"Peyton told me right before the game. She said that Haley called her before she left to come back for the game. We wanted to tell you but it's complicated. All I know is that we didn't tell you because Haley wasn't even supposed to say anything and Nathan was afraid if you knew you'd decide against being here and miss this. He didn't want that for you. I'm sorry we didn't tell you," Rachel replied.

"Who the hell does Nathan think he is? It's not up to him whether I get to know about this or not. I should have known. That's my boyfriend's number going up to the rafters right now. Someone should have told me."

"Brooke, it was for your own good that we didn't tell you. Please, believe me when I say I wanted to tell you. I thought not telling you was stupid because springing it on you like this didn't seem fair to me. But it wasn't my call."

"You still could have told me. At least fill me in that something was going on tonight. That much would have been nice. But no, I guess that's too much to ask of my friends."

"Brooke, it's not Rachel's fault. I made her promise not to say anything. I just thought she should know about it since she's the acting captain tonight," Peyton explained.

"You know what? I don't care. You were all wrong to keep this from me. When the game is over I'm gonna tell Nathan the same thing. None of you had the right to keep this from me. My boyfriend is being honored and none of you thought I had the right to know? And why not? Because you were afraid that I might not have been here to witness this? That's crazy. Of course I would have been here. I could have come as a spectator instead you know. I don't have to be in a cheerleading uniform to be here. You know what? I don't feel like doing this now. Maybe if I had been warned things would be a little bit different. Nice job captain," Brooke exploded.

Before anyone could say anything Brooke had turned around and ran toward the locker room. She was so pissed at Peyton, Rachel, Nathan and Haley that she didn't feel like being peppy and cheering the Ravens on any longer.

"Why the hell is she mad at me? I wanted to tell her," Rachel said as she watched Brooke retreat toward the locker room.

"She'll get over it," Peyton said.

"No I don't think she will. She's right. It wasn't our choice to hide that from her. Nathan had no business making anyone promise not to tell her. In fact, he should have been the one to tell her about it in the first place. After all, he told Karen and Haley."

"He told Karen because she's his mother and Whitey asked him to do it. The only reason he told me is because I forced it out of him," Haley said.

"So the mother and the best friend have a right to know but the girlfriend has to be left in the dark? How is that fair?" Rachel snapped.

"Ok, guys. Look, let's talk about this later. Right now we're supposed to be acting peppy and cheering for the basketball team. The drama and everything else will be there when we're done. Along with Brooke's anger or whatever emotion she's reached when the game's done," Peyton interjected.

Brooke ran into the locker room and grabbed her street clothes. She wasn't in the mood to cheer anymore but that didn't mean she didn't feel like being at the game. She had promised to be there and she was gonna honor that promise. Just not from the spot that everyone who expected to see her would be looking. If they wanted to see Brooke Davis they were gonna have to look in the stands tonight. Because tonight, she was nothing more than a spectator and fan of the Tree Hill Ravens. She changed quickly back into her jeans and t-shirt and of course, Luke's sweatshirt before she left the locker room and went back into the gym. As she stepped into the gym, it occurred to Brooke that she had no one to sit with. That is of course until she spotted Karen and noticed there was an empty seat next to her. It was obviously not for Keith because he was on the other side of Karen. Putting a smile on her face Brooke climbed the bleachers until she reached Karen and Keith.

"Hey Karen," Brooke said casually.

"Brooke, what are you doing over here? Shouldn't you be with your squad?" Karen asked as she hugged the girl.

"Well I was. But you see, nobody bothered to tell me about the pre-game ceremony and Luke's number being retired tonight. Something about Nathan didn't think I would come if I knew. Whatever, I'm not in the mood to be over there anymore but I didn't feel like going home either. I'm here so I might as well stay," Brooke replied.

"They really thought it would be better to just let you be surprised? I'm gonna have to talk to my nephew when the game's over," Keith said.

"You can have him when I'm done with him. I promise to leave room for you."

"Thanks. I appreciate that. Nathan won't but that's not your fault."

"I wish they would have told you. They have no right deciding what's best for you. Only you could decide that. But I am glad you're here and you got to see them honor Luke," Karen said.

"Me too. I wouldn't have missed it for the world. I dunno what Nathan was so worried for. Yes, I got emotional but that would have happened if they had told me so it's not like they saved me from any grief. I'm not heartless, I have feelings too."

"Of course you're not heartless. Let's just enjoy the game. For Lucas. He would want that. You know, he'd be proud of you for being here tonight Brooke."

"Ya, I know. It's getting better, slowly. As long as I remember to go one day at a time."

"That's all any of us can do."

Brooke leaned over and rested her head on Karen's shoulder. It felt good to be around her and Keith without freaking out and running the other way. And she was glad for that too because as hard as losing Lucas was on her Brooke was absolutely sure it was hardest on them.

"Nice to see you giving my shop advertising," Keith said with a smirk.

"Hey, I'm not wearing this for you. It's my security, it makes me feel like Lucas is with me wherever I am," Brooke said as she stuck her tongue out.

"Call it what you want."

"Thank you, I will."

"Ok you too. That's enough," Karen laughed at the two.

Brooke and Keith looked at each other and stuck their tongues out. Just because they weren't verbally going back and forth didn't mean they couldn't stick their tongues out at each other. Karen just rolled her eyes. It was obvious that neither of them were listening to her but if there were no tears Karen wasn't gonna complain. It was nice to see a smile on Brooke's face. In fact, it was the first smile Karen could recall seeing on her face since she had found out about Lucas' death.

The three of them sat in the bleachers wrapped up in the game. None of them said a word to each other the entire first half. Karen held the plaque tightly within her grasp the entire time as well. Brooke was focusing on the jersey that hung from the ceiling of the Tree Hill gym. Keith watched his nephew play a great game. Before they knew it the first half was over. Brooke had been so focused on Lucas' jersey that she hadn't realized that she was crying again. _Damn it, I was doing so well. Now it's over. I guess I can't go anywhere without crying _she thought as she furiously wiped the tears away, hoping they would stop falling sooner that way. Karen glanced at Brooke and enveloped her in a hug as she watched the young girl wipe the tears from her face. It didn't surprise Karen that there were tears in Brooke's eyes. She had a similar reaction the first night she had come back to watch the team.

The second half went by in a tearful blur for Brooke. As suspected, the Ravens beat the Owls, 67-63. Nathan had scored 24 points, the most individually for each side. Brooke didn't bother saying anything to Karen or Keith as she ran down the bleachers and out to her car. She didn't want to give Nathan a chance to leave before she chewed him out. It pissed her off what he had done and she wanted to be sure he knew it. She stood outside the gym waiting, her arms crossed in front of her body. Nathan walked out a few minutes later with Haley. Brooke sauntered over to them and stepped directly in Nathan's path.

"Brooke, what the heck?" he asked.

"I need to talk to you," was all she said before she yanked him away from Haley and off to the side.

"What is your problem?" Nathan asked when they were by themselves.

"Who the hell do you think you are making people promise not to tell me about Luke's number being retired tonight? That wasn't something you had any right deciding. What if I didn't show up? What were you gonna do? Yell at me because I didn't see it happen? Well I wouldn't have known what I missed because no one bothered to tell me because you thought you had the right to decide what was best for me. I don't appreciate that one bit. What the hell did you think you were protecting me from by not telling me? Did you think I wouldn't cry if I knew ahead of time? Get real Nate. Next time you wanna do something for me, tell me when they're honoring my boyfriend! I don't give two shits what you want for me. I would have been here, I wouldn't miss this for anything in the world," Brooke screamed.

"I'm sorry I thought I was doing you a favor but I guess not because you didn't cheer anyway and I don't remember seeing you in the stands."

"I was there. I sat with Karen and Keith, who wants to kill you by the way. Next time you think you have the right to make a decision for me you better think twice because I won't be nearly as nice. Count on it."

Brooke didn't bother waiting for Nathan to respond before spinning on her heels and sprinting to her car. If she ran fast enough she could make it to her car before the tears fell again. She was so sick of everyone deciding what was best for her. How do they know what was best for her? They don't but obviously that didn't seem to matter or stop them. Brooke drove to the cemetery as tears clouded her vision. She stopped the car a few feet away and she walked the rest of the way toward Lucas' grave. Carefully Brooke sat on the ground in front of it before dropping her head in her hands and crying.

"They retired your number tonight, baby. I'm sure you don't think you deserve it but let me tell you, I think you do. You're amazing Lucas. I'm sure you know why I'm crying but let me just get it out anyway. They retired your number tonight, the first night I was gonna cheer since you've been gone. Nobody bothered to tell me though, because your brother thought it was better if I didn't know. Well that backfired because whatever he thought he was protecting me from by not telling me happened anyway. I still cried. I mean I think he was really afraid that I wouldn't show up. What the hell kind of girlfriend does he think I am? I would have been there no matter because I would want to see them honor you that way. I love you and the fear of breaking down won't keep me away from you. Or that basketball court anymore because as long as I have a piece of you in my heart, which I always will, I'll be fine. Or fine enough. I love you, I miss you and I look forward to seeing you again someday. Good night, baby," Brooke said. She kissed her hand and placed it on the grave before she got up and walked back to her car.

Slowly Brooke rose to her feet and made her way back to her car. She jumped in and drove home. Even though it was only 9:30, Brooke was exhausted. Grieving and fighting and crying took a lot out of her. So did the thought of and intent to return to cheerleading. All she wanted to do now was put on her pajamas and crash for the night. Apparently that wasn't happening though, cause as she pulled into her driveway she found Nathan sitting on her front porch.

"Great, I'm so not in the mood for this," Brooke muttered to herself as she shut off her car and walked up to the front door.

"Hey, I was hoping I could talk to you," Nathan said as he rose to his feet to get out of her way.

"Why so you can tell me again that you thought you were doing me a favor tonight? Just leave me alone Nathan. I don't wanna hear it."

"That's not what I came over to say. I came over to apologize. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. Brooke, listen to me for a minute. Please. One minute and then I'll go."

"Fine, come in."

Brooke opened the door and let Nathan follow her in. They stopped in the living room. Brooke flopped onto the couch and Nathan crashed next to her.

"Ok, you wanted to talk. So talk," Brooke said.

"I just wanted to say you're right and I'm sorry. I should have told you about tonight. Please, don't be mad at me. And don't be mad at the girls either. They only did that because I made Haley promise not to say anything but she apparently told Peyton who told Rachel for what reason I couldn't begin to guess," Nathan explained.

"You're sorry? You keep this from me to protect me and you're sorry? You've gotta be kidding me Nathan. Did you think I was just gonna forgive you like that?"

"Brooke, come on. Don't you understand why I did it?"

"No I don't. You told his mother, his best friend but conveniently neglected to me. His girlfriend! Why wouldn't you tell me?"

"I told you why. I'm sorry. Brooke, please, don't be mad at me."

"You already tried that line Nathan. I'm not mad at you. I just don't understand why you didn't say anything. You should have known that I wouldn't miss it for the world. But I didn't know about it so I could have missed it. Remember you wanted me there but if you wanted me there so bad to see it why didn't you tell me about it? That doesn't make sense Nate. You must not have wanted me there bad enough because if you did you would have said something. Am I right?"

"No, Brooke. I really wanted you there but I didn't know how good the chance of you staying or even showing up if you knew would be. I didn't realize that telling you was the best way to go. If I did, I would have told you. I swear."

"That doesn't change the fact that you lied to me and got my friends to lie to me too."

"What do you want me to say? I screwed up, I'm an asshole. You pick, cause apparently I don't how to do anything right. I'm sorry I tried to make sure you saw them retire Lucas' number. I won't be so nice next time."

"There isn't gonna be a next time! They can never retire another number in honor of Lucas Scott. He'll never wear another basketball jersey again. He's never gonna do anything again. Because he's dead! Lucas is dead and nothing is ever gonna be the same again."

"You think I don't know that Brooke? You think it doesn't hurt me every damn day to know I'll never see my brother again? You think you're the only one who's entitled to be upset or cry over Luke being dead? Well you're not! I get that you're upset and you miss him but so do I and so do a hell of a lot of other people. Damn it Brooke, this isn't all about you!"

"Get out."

"What?"

"Get out. You don't get to come into my house and yell at me."

"What's the matter Brooke? The truth hurts doesn't it?"

Brooke reached over and slapped Nathan across the face. He sat there and glared at her. Nobody had ever hit him before in his life. Brooke recoiled the instant she realized what she had done.

"Oh my god, Nathan. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that," Brooke apologized.

"No I deserved it. I'm sorry I screamed at you. I've just been so stressed. I don't have the luxury of crying whenever I feel like it. Everyone expects me to be so strong and pretend like I'm not bothered by Luke's death but I'm not okay and I'm not strong. And I just lost it. Please, Brooke. Forgive me?"

"I dunno Nathan. Do you really think you deserve it?"

"No. I know I don't deserve it."

"You're right, you don't deserve it but I'm in no position to hold a grudge."

"I'm truly sorry. For everything, I didn't mean to cause all this crap."

"I know you didn't."

"Thank you." Nathan hugged Brooke and he cringed when he felt her tense up underneath him.

"Good night, Nathan," she whispered into his chest.

"Good night, Brooke," he said.

Nathan stood up and left the house. Brooke sat on the couch and cried. As soon as the tears fell she slammed her fist into the couch. It was beginning to feel like the only thing Brooke ever did anymore was cry. Even when she didn't know she was upset, tears fell and when she fought with someone, tears fell. Lately it was as if crying had taken the place of breathing in Brooke's existence. She never went a day without it happening.

"I can't do this anymore. I'm done trying. It's no use. There's nothing here for me anymore as it is," Brooke cried to herself.

She continued to cry as she lay on the couch. Her back was to the door so she didn't realize that Peyton had come in and on top of that, Brooke didn't realize that Peyton had heard every word she cried.

"Brooke," Peyton said shakily.

"Go away. I don't wanna talk," Brooke cried.

"No. I can't go away. I heard what you said. Don't say stuff like that."

"Oh so you only care because you heard what I said? I bet you wouldn't care if you didn't hear me."

"Brooke!"

"What Peyton?" By now Brooke had turned around and was sitting up.

"You know better then to say that. You know I care. How could I not care about you? You're my best friend. Damn it Brooke."

"What? You don't wanna hear that I'm sick of living without my boyfriend? Without the only one who could ever really love me? Well that's just too bad cause it's true! I'm tired of it. Nobody loves me the way he did. Not even you."

"Of course I don't love you the way he did. I'm not a guy. That wouldn't be right. I love you because you're my best friend and I'm sorry if that's not good enough for you. But I cannot sit around and listen to you say you have nothing left to live for. You know that's not true. You have so much to live for."

"Oh ya? Like what?"

"You have your friends and your fashion and your talent."

"Ya, but that's not what I want. I don't want any of that if I can't share it with Luke. It means nothing without him. My life means nothing without him."

Peyton rolled her eyes. She was really annoyed with Brooke at the moment.

"Fine if your life is nothing without Lucas then maybe I shouldn't be in it anymore. Because apparently I don't mean anything to you anyway."

With those last words Peyton left the house and slammed the door. And once again, Brooke laid on the couch and cried. She laid there and cried until there were no more tears. When she finally stopped crying it was only to fall asleep.

"Haley, it's me. We have to do something. She's losing it," Peyton cried into the phone.

"Peyton, what's going on? What happened?" Haley replied.

Peyton proceeded to tell Haley about the fight she had just gotten into with Brooke and about everything she heard Brooke say about not having anything to live for and everything else she said. Haley cried as she listened to Peyton tell her that their friend was falling apart. There had to be something they could do to help her. But neither of them could think of anything. Nothing would be as good as bringing Lucas back and that wasn't possible.

"Listen, I'm on my way home. I think I'm gonna take a shower and crash when I get there but if you come up with anything, please, call me. We need to help her," Peyton said to Haley.

"I know and I will. Get some sleep Peyt," Haley replied.

"You too. Night Hales."

"Night."

Peyton hung up and slammed her foot on the accelator. The faster she made it home the faster she could take a shower and go to bed. All she wanted was to go to sleep and pretend like she didn't fight with Brooke.

"Luke, she's a mess without you. I need to know how to help her. Just give me a clue. Please," Peyton begged as she drifted off to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Brooke woke up the next morning with a stiff neck. It was a small price she paid for falling asleep on the couch. And now she knew exactly why she didn't make a habit of sleeping there, she woke up in pain. But nothing could ever match the pain she felt after losing Lucas. That was the worst pain she had ever known in all her life. There was nothing anyone could say or do to make her pain go away. Unless they found a way to bring Lucas back to her and Brooke knew that was impossible.

"I don't wanna live like this. I can't do this. Not without my rock and Lucas you are my rock. Without you here I don't know, I don't think I can go on anymore. I'll be with you again someday. It's too much being here without you," Brooke cried.

She slowly rose to her feet and walked down the hall into the bathroom. It was already 11:15 so Brooke wasn't gonna bother trying to make it to school for the afternoon classes. Honestly, she didn't feel like seeing anyone and if she went to school, everyone would be all over her. They'd all want to know why she was late and then they'd ask what she thought about Lucas' number being retired last night. No, Brooke didn't want to deal with that today. In fact, she didn't want to deal with anything today and she wasn't going to.

Brooke walked out of the bathroom and headed straight for the liquor cabinet. There had to be something in there to numb the pain. At least for a little while. She was desperate not to feel anything and alcohol seemed like a good way out of feeling. Frantically, Brooke tore through the countless bottles of wine and gin until she came across what she had been looking for, vodka. Smiling contentedly Brooke twisted the cap off the bottle and placed it against her lips. Tilting her head back Brooke felt the alcohol touch her throat and then she felt the burn as it traveled through her system. Half an hour later, Brooke was opening a second bottle of vodka. She wasn't worrying about how much she was drinking. All she wanted was to forget about the pain she was in and right now she felt like she was on top of the world.

While Brooke was drinking away her pain at home, the rest of the gang sat around the courtyard wondering where she was. Peyton and Haley told Nathan, Rachel and Mouth what had happened the night before and they were all stunned into silence. Nathan had also told the group about his visit and the fight he had gotten into with Brooke.

"I can't believe I screamed at her like that. Like she was wrong to be upset about what I did. Even more than that, I freaked out at her because she misses Luke. I was such an asshole. I'll never forgive myself if she does anything to hurt herself," Nathan said somberly.

"Nathan, you can't blame yourself. If Brooke hurts herself it's not your fault. You made a mistake but you owned up to it. You apologized. So what you screamed at her too, but she screamed back. Don't beat yourself up over this. She probably won't even remember that she fought with you anyway," Rachel said.

"She's right Nate, you can't beat yourself up. You only did what you thought was best for Brooke last night. It's not your fault you didn't look at it from her point of view. Nobody else could possibly know what Brooke would have felt and you just wanted to make sure she was there because it would have broken her heart to miss it. It's ok, it's over. She was there and that's all that matters in the end," Peyton said.

"I know but you didn't see the look on her face when she yelled at me. It was like looking at a shattered mirror. If I hadn't been such an ass I would have seen what my being there was doing to her. I don't think I can be around her right now. It's making her hurt more. The more she sees me, the more she's gonna think that Luke's gone and I don't wanna make her hurt anymore than she already is. I want to help her, I really do. But I don't know how to help her without upsetting her," Nathan spoke up again.

"Nathan, if you stay away from Brooke, that will hurt her too. Avoiding her isn't gonna make her miss Lucas any less or take away any of the pain. We all need to stand by her and help her through this. If we can show her that she can go on without Lucas, then that's what we have to focus on," Mouth said.

"What if she doesn't understand?" Peyton asked.

"Then we'll have to figure something else out. Brooke needs to know that we're here for her no matter what. If we give up on her now, she really will find a way out. We have to make her believe that it's gonna be ok and that missing Lucas isn't a bad thing but there's more to life then that."

"How are we supposed to do all that?" Haley asked.

"I'm not sure. But to start with, we've gotta be patient with her Hales. If Brooke sees that we're being patient maybe she'll come around."

"What if she doesn't come around? What then?"

"Haley, we gotta stay positive. If we don't then Brooke will see right through us and we'll be back at square one. Losing her boyfriend is hard enough but she's also living with the fact that she watched him die and not only that, but he died in her arms. So it's only natural that her pain is as deep as it seems to be. She's gonna have her good days and bad days. All we can do is be here for when she hits a low point. We have to keep her in good spirits as best we can at all times," Rachel said.

"I know. I just can't help but think if we push too hard, she might snap and we'll lose her too. Just like we lost Lucas. And I don't want that to happen. We can't let that happen."

"It's not gonna happen Hales. We're not gonna lose Brooke. She's gonna be fine. We just have to be patient and hope that she'll see that she does have a life waiting ahead of her," Nathan said as he held onto his wife.

Haley pushed Nathan off of her and rose to her feet. She was walking away from the school. It was time to stop talking about helping Brooke and time to start putting those words into action. Haley wasn't waiting for the day to be over before getting started. As soon as she was in the parking lot, Haley sprinted over to her car and jumped in. Everyone else sat there and stared as they watched her speed down the road away from the school and in the direction of Brooke's house.

Ten minutes later, Haley was pulling into Brooke's driveway. She was relieved to see that Brooke's car was there so that meant she was home. She ran up to the door and knocked. There was no answer. Haley twisted the doorknob and was glad that it was open. She pushed the door open and walked into the house. It was silent with the exception of the tv Haley could hear going in the living room with the volume turned down low. Carefully Haley closed the door behind her and made her way into the living room. The site that fell before her eyes broke Haley's heart. Brooke was curled up in tiny ball, gripping a bottle of vodka tightly with two empty ones on the floor next to the couch along with a carton of ice cream that was tipped over. She rushed over to the couch and gently tried to take the vodka away from Brooke only to have her pull back.

" Brooke, please. Let go. This isn't good for you. Come on," Haley begged.

"No, can't go on. Must be with Luke now. Nothing left for me. He's all I need," Brooke cried brokenly between hiccups.

"Brooke, come on. Sit up. Let's talk."

"No. Don't wanna talk. Just want Luke."

Haley sat down on the couch next to Brooke. She leaned over and wrapped her arms around the broken girl's frame. Brooke tried to squirm out of Haley's embrace but it was no use, the more she tried to break free, the tighter Haley hugged her.

"I know you want Luke. But he's gone. You have to focus on what you do have. Please, Brooke. Don't do this to yourself," Haley whispered in her ear.

"What I have? I don't have anything. Lucas was my everything. Without him there's no reason for me to be here anymore. It's too hard. I can't look at anyone without seeing his face or hearing his laugh. I miss those things. I miss all of him. All I want is to see Lucas again. I don't want to live without him. I don't feel like I am living. I'm just going through the motions. That's not living. I stopped living the minute Lucas died. And I'll never start again because he's never coming back. All because of Jimmy. He had to kill Lucas. Why? That's not fair! It should have been me, I antagonized him. Oh god. It's my fault, this whole thing. I made him shoot Lucas. I did this. I killed him. Luke I'm so sorry baby! Please, forgive me. I didn't mean to upset Jimmy. I didn't mean for him to kill you. Oh god," Brooke sobbed.

"Brooke, no. None of this was your fault. Don't say that. You couldn't have known Jimmy was gonna show up to school with a gun that day. You didn't make him do anything. He made himself shoot Luke. You are not responsible for Lucas being dead."

"Then why do I feel like I am? Why does it feel like this whole damn thing was my fault? Why? Tell me Haley because I want to know!"

"I can't tell you. I don't know why you feel this way. If I did I would tell you but I can't. I'm sorry. Lucas doesn't blame you and neither does anyone else. The only person there is to blame is Jimmy and that's who everyone is blaming. Not one person blames you because you didn't do anything wrong. You only tried to save his life."

"But I failed. I failed him when he needed me the most. He needed me to save him and I couldn't do it. Why couldn't I save him? Why? I could have saved him and I let him down. Oh god, you must hate me. I let your best friend die. Haley, I'm so sorry."

"Brooke, stop it. You didn't fail. You tried your best to save him but it wasn't meant to happen. And don't for one second think that I hate you because Lucas is dead. I could never hate you for that. I already told you, you didn't kill him so why should I hate you? I have no reason to."

"My best? No, I don't think I tried my best. If I had, Luke wouldn't have even been shot. This whole mess is my fault. All of it. I don't deserve to go on."

"Damn it Brooke. That's not true. I don't know what else to say to make you believe that you're not to blame and you have so much to look forward to in life. Why can't you just believe that?"

Brooke didn't say anything. She couldn't. Sobs had taken over her again, making her entire body shake violently. Haley felt tears well up in her own eyes as she watched Brooke breakdown again. Maybe coming over to talk to Brooke hadn't been the smartest idea but Haley was glad she was here anyway. Ten minutes went by before Brooke's sobs had slowed down. Haley was grateful that she was calming down. Another five minutes past and Brooke was asleep on the couch. Haley threw a blanket over friend's sleeping form and then set out to clean up the mess in the living room. As soon as Haley was done cleaning the door opened and Peyton and Rachel walked in the house.

"Where is she?" Peyton asked.

"Sleeping, on the couch," Haley replied.

Peyton ran into the living room and sat on the couch next to Brooke. Rachel stayed back to talk to Haley. She could see something wasn't right just looking at her and Rachel wanted to know what it was.

"Haley, what's wrong?" she asked.

"I found her gripping a bottle of vodka when I came in with two empty ones on the floor. She thinks it's her fault Jimmy killed Lucas. I don't know what to do anymore Rachel. She really believes that she has no reason and no right to live anymore. We have to do something for her before she does something to herself. I'll never forgive myself if we can't reach her," Haley replied as tears fell from her eyes once again.

"We'll help her, Haley. Even if she doesn't want our help. Just being here, that's a help to Brooke whether she knows it or not. If no one cared about her then the three of us wouldn't be here with her right now. She knows we care and she knows we want to help her. But right now she doesn't feel like she's deserving of that help. We just have to stay strong and remember that we're all in this together. We all have to get through this, we all miss Luke. It's gonna be tough but we'll get through to her and she'll realize that she can do this without him."

Meanwhile in the living room, Peyton held Brooke as she cried the hardest she had in the past month. Peyton watched in gut wrenching silence, desperately wishing there was something she could do for Brooke but the reality of it all was that there wasn't anything Peyton could do except what she was already doing.

"Brooke, I wish I could take away your pain for you. I would give anything to see you happy again. If I could I switch places with you right now. Anything if it meant you weren't falling apart and slipping away. But I don't know how to fix this or what to say. Everything I think of sounds lame and stupid so I don't bother saying it out loud. Nothing would be as good to you as having Luke back, I know that but you have to know that it's not gonna happen. Although if he could, I'm sure Lucas would come back to make you stop hurting because even though he's gone, he's watching you and I know it's gotta be tearing him apart to see you this way. It's certainly tearing me apart and I want nothing more than to help you but I don't know how because I don't know how to give you want you need or how to say what needs to be said without making you cry or miss Luke more than you do, if that's even possible. I'm not even sure that what I'm saying now is gonna help you. But I have to try because if I don't try then you'll think I don't care about you and that's not true. Brooke, I love you. And I don't think I could love you more if we were sisters by blood. Maybe that's not what you need to hear right now but I need you to know that. I'm always gonna be here for you. No matter what's going on," Peyton said as she ran her hands through Brooke's hair which lay spread out in her lap.

It was breaking Peyton's heart to watch Brooke fall apart. The Brooke Davis she had grown up never would have fallen apart like this. Sure she would have cried and been upset but it would have never gotten this bad. The Brooke Davis that Peyton had grown up with didn't let the loss of a boyfriend destroy her but Lucas Scott wasn't the typical Brooke Davis guy. She had fallen head over heels butterflies in the stomach in love with him and now he was gone. He had changed her in so many ways but Peyton knew that Brooke was still the same girl she had grown up with and loved dearly. Nothing could take that away, not even Lucas' death. At least Peyton hoped that this wouldn't take away the Brooke Davis she loved. Because if it did, more than anything, that would shatter Peyton's heart to know she had truly lost her best friend. Maybe not in the same way Brooke lost Lucas or Haley lost Lucas but it would feel remarkably similar to Peyton because if Brooke became a different person then she wasn't sure how she would ever be able to handle that.

"I'm not giving up on you Brookie," Peyton whispered in Brooke's ear.

"Don't waste your time on me. I'm not gonna be around much longer anyway," Brooke muttered.

"Stop that. Please, don't talk like that. I can't listen to it. You don't know how much it hurts to hear you like this."

"You think I like this feeling? You think I like the fact that I have extreme highs and extreme lows every damn day? Do you have any clue what it feels like to be lost when you know there are at least five other people who care enough to help me? Do you Peyton? No, I don't think you do. You couldn't possibly. You have no idea what's it like to be so in love and then have it all ripped away by a single gun shot. No, you couldn't possibly understand the way I feel or how much it terrifies me that I feel the way I do. I don't even feel like a human being most of the time. At least not the kind of human being I used to be. Life doesn't hold the same appeal it once did for me and it never will again. That all went out the window when Lucas breathed his last breath. And I fall a little further from reality every time I think about the future we'll never have together but I can't help but think about it because it's my only link to Lucas outside of the past. Every day I cry, I beg Lucas to come back to me or take me away from this misery because I can't do this without him anymore. Everything makes me miss him. Everything makes me want to be in his arms again, back at the River Court watching him play ball or just sitting at the café talking. I want it all back but I can never have any of that again. And that hurts. More than I can describe to you, more than I can describe to myself. Maybe I just need to get away from Tree Hill. Away from everything that reminds me of Lucas but I'm afraid to leave because I'm afraid if I do, I'll forget about Lucas and I'll move on and it won't hurt to miss him anymore or breath without him."

"You have to let go of the pain some time."

"No. I don't want to let it go because I don't want to even be there but it is and I can't change that. I'm afraid to give my heart to someone else someday because if something like this happens again I won't live through it. I'm barely living through this now."

By now Haley and Rachel had joined them in the living room. They were sitting on the floor in front of the couch. Each one of them completely silent as Brooke kept going, both of them desperate to say something but not knowing what to say. Brooke had no surpassed any emotion Rachel ever remembered going through all the times she lost a boyfriend before coming to Tree Hill so even she was helpless now. And that didn't sit well with her, she wanted so much to help Brooke get through this but she knew that no amount of words would do anything.

"Brooke, running from Tree Hill won't fix anything," Rachel said cautiously.

"How do you know that?" Brooke asked defiantly.

"Because I've been in your shoes. I was madly in love with this guy when I lived in Raleigh, we were convinced that we were gonna be together forever but then during the summer before our junior year he was in a really bad car accident and the doctors did everything they could to try and save him. He ended up in a coma and about two weeks after the fact, his parents called to tell me that he was gone. I completely flipped out. I locked myself in my bedroom for weeks only leaving to pee and occasionally eat something. Then a week before school started I thought about running, anywhere, as long as I wasn't in Raleigh I didn't care where I ended up. I begged my parents to move but they wouldn't do it. I thought I would never love again but then I met this guy at school and we started dating, he was amazing but like every other boyfriend before him, as soon as I thought I was in love, tragedy struck. He died from a drug overdose and again I was a mess, I wanted to leave town. But my parents said no until finally they had no choice and we ended up here in Tree Hill."

"What's your point?"

"My point is, you can't be afraid to love again but running from your pain is the worst possible thing you do to yourself. If you leave you're not just leaving a town that holds painful memories but also some of the best times of your life along with a bunch of friends who love and care about you and who's hearts would break if you left."

"But I'm afraid if I love again I'll be betraying Lucas. I don't wanna do that. I could never do anything to betray him, I could never do anything to betray anyone. I'm not that kind of girl. I never have been and I don't ever wanna be."

"Brooke, you can't betray the dead," Haley said quietly.

"I know that but I'm still so in love with Lucas that even thinking about moving on feels like I'm betraying him. I could never do that. Please, can we not talk about this anymore? It's too much."

Peyton, Haley and Rachel nodded in agreement. They didn't want to do anything to make Brooke anymore upset then she already was. She was already in a rough place and if they kept going along the lines of conversation they were at currently in, they could only imagine it would get uglier by the second.

"Thank you," Brooke said as she tried to stifle a yawn, "If you guys don't mind I think I'm gonna go upstairs and take a nap."

"Go for it. We'll be here when you wake up," Peyton said reassuringly.

"You don't have to stick around. I'll be okay."

"We're staying. Go upstairs."

Brooke rolled her eyes as she got off the couch and made her way up the stairs.

"You'd think she would be getting better as the days go by. But she's getting worse. Something's wrong, I can feel it," Peyton said as soon as she heard Brooke close her bedroom door.

"What do you mean something's wrong? No kidding something's wrong. Luke's dead," Rachel replied.

"I wasn't talking about that Rachel. I know that much. But something else is bothering her. There's something she's not telling anyone, why I'm not sure but I just have this gut feeling and when it comes to my gut feelings and Brooke, I'm hardly ever wrong."

"Well how are we gonna find out what's wrong? It's hard enough talking to her about every day subjects but if someone asks her if something else is wrong she's gonna go ape shit on them. I don't really wanna be the one to incur that wrath," Haley said.

"Nobody's asking Brooke anything. If there's something else going on, she'd let us know. The last thing we need to be doing is sniffing around in her personal life and accusing her of hiding something. What happens if there's nothing going on and she gets so fed up with the questions she holds true to her words and she does something to herself. We have to wait," Rachel said.

"How long?"

"Until we found out what's going on, if there's anything going on. I don't think there is. I think she's just still extremely upset about the shooting. I know I would be if it were me."

"No offense Rachel but when did you become an expert on the feelings and the heart that are Brooke Davis? I think I know her a little better than you do and I'm telling you, something isn't right. And I don't care if I have to do it alone but I'm gonna find out whatever it is," Peyton questioned.

"Peyton, no. What if Rachel's right? Do you really wanna take that chance with Brooke's life possibly hanging in the balance?" Haley objected.

"How could not wanna take that chance Haley? Don't you get it. If we don't do anything and there is something wrong, she could end up dead anyway."

"Then what's the use. We should just wait."

"Stop you two. Arguing about this won't do you a damn bit of good. We're supposed to be helping Brooke, not causing her more grief. Nobody is asking Brooke anything. If there is something wrong and she wants us to know, she can tell us when she's ready and not before that. If either of you has a problem with that, well that's just too bad because it's not up to you to make her talk," Rachel said agitated.

"Fine," Peyton and Haley sighed.

"Good, now let's see if we can't do something nice for Brooke. Like maybe clean up around here a little bit and then maybe order some food. I'm guessing she's gonna be hungry later."

"Ok, but I'm gonna go check on her first," Haley said as she ran up the stairs.

She knocked on the door softly but got no answer. Carefully, she pushed the door open and her eyes grew wide as she looked around at the mess. There were clothes everywhere and no Brooke in sight. Just as Haley was about to go back downstairs she heard a high pitch scream and then glass shattering in Brooke's bathroom. She ran to the door and turned the knob only to find that Brooke had locked it.

"Brooke, it's Haley. What's going on in there?" she called through the door.

"Nothing, go away. I don't want you to see me like this," Brooke replied.

"Like what? Please, open the door."

"No."

"Brooke."

"I'm not opening the door. I'm just gonna die in here."

Haley's eyes grew wider than saucers at Brooke's last words. Frantically she kicked at the door until it flew open. She looked up to see Brooke standing over the tub with a razor in her hand, pressed into the exposed flesh on her forearm.

"Brooke, stop!" Haley cried.

"I'm sorry," Brooke choked out as she pushed the razor deeper into her skin until a line of blood appeared on the surface. Startled by what she had just done, Brooke dropped the razor in the tub and collapsed onto the toilet seat behind her. Haley scampered quickly to be next to Brooke and she wrapped her into a hug while they both cried.

"Don't do this Brooke. Please, I know it's hard but you can live without Luke," Haley said softly.

"No, I don't want to," Brooke sobbed into Haley's shoulder.

"I know, baby, I know. It's okay. You'll be all right, we're not giving up on you."

Brooke continued to cry as Haley held onto her. She really wanted to believe that she was going to be okay and that she could do this without Lucas but the more she tried, the more it hurt. And she was tired of hurting.


	6. Chapter 6

Karen was in Lucas' room cleaning up and storing his belongings in boxes. She came across countless numbers of basketball cards and other sports memorabilia that she told herself she would put aside to see if Nathan or one of the boys wanted to take them off her hands. She had always known that her son enjoyed reading but it didn't occur to her just how much until she set out to look through them and decide what she was going to do with them. After a while, she realized that maybe now wasn't the best time to do this. It was still too painful being in this room. Just as she was about to close the door Karen spotted something on the desk. As she pushed everything else aside, she found an envelope addressed to Brooke. Next to the envelope was a velvet ring box. Karen felt her breath catch in her throat as she took the ring box in her hand and opened it. There was a beautiful diamond ring in the box. Her heart skipped a beat. _Lucas was going to propose to Brooke. Oh gosh. I should give these to her. _Karen thought as she snapped the ring box closed. Holding the ring box and the envelope Karen made her way out of Lucas' room and closed the door behind her.

"Morning, darling," Keith said as he grabbed Karen by the waist and pulled her in for a kiss.

"Morning, Keith," Karen said with a smile.

"What's that?" Keith pointed at the envelope and ring box.

"Just some things I found in Lucas' room. I was gonna start putting some stuff away but I'm not ready. I came across these as I was about to leave. The letter is for Brooke and I would imagine the ring is too."

"Oh ya? How come?"

Karen popped the ring box open to show Keith. His eyes grew wide with shock.

"An engagement ring? What are you gonna do with it?"

"Give it to Brooke. She should have it. Lucas didn't buy it for it to sit in his room untouched. He would want Brooke to have it."

Keith nodded in agreement. Just because Lucas was gone didn't mean Karen couldn't give Brooke the ring she had found in his room that was most certainly met for Brooke to wear. He only hoped that Brooke would appreciate the gesture and not get upset by it.

"Maybe I should wait. Haley said that Brooke's still in rough shape. I don't want the ring to push her over the edge again," Karen said a minute later.

"Honey, no matter when you give it to her, Brooke's going to get emotional. She'll take one look at the ring and know it's an engagement ring. The sooner you give her the ring, the better. Trust me," Keith said.

Karen knew he was right. Waiting to give Brooke the ring wasn't going to change the girl's reaction. Because no matter when it happened, Lucas would still be gone. She picked up the letter and the ring box before standing up to leave the house. As she walked past Keith, she stopped to kiss him before leaving for the café.

"Have a good day," Keith said.

"You too," Karen replied.

Brooke looked at herself in the mirror. She was dressed from head to toe in black today. Lately it was the only color she felt like wearing. With the rare day that she decided to throw a little color into the outfit. No one knew it yet but Brooke was stepping down as student body president today. She didn't feel like she could be fully devoted to the position with everything that had gone on and the last thing she thought the school needed was to be led by the heart broken, distracted girl that was Brooke Davis. As she checked her reflection in the mirror one last time Brooke dabbed her eyes where there were tear marks. It was only 7:15 and she had already bawled her eyes out. Brooke felt as if she was reverting back to spending her entire day in tears. Ever since the basketball season had ended and the Ravens won the state title, she was a mess. It broke her heart to know that Lucas wasn't there to share in the victory or take part in the trophy ceremony. All he had wanted to do since joining the team was win the state title. Brooke didn't think it was fair that he hadn't lived to accomplish that goal but there was nothing she could about it.

"Baby you would have been so proud of the guys. I know I was. And I still am. They dedicated their entire season and the title to you. Their trophy is in the trophy case along with a plaque that says "in memory of our fallen teammate, Lucas Scott. This one's for you buddy". Maybe I'll get the first place trophy at the classic this year. If I do, I'm dedicating it to you because without you I wouldn't have made it this far. I love you," Brooke said aloud as she grabbed her keys and her bag and went downstairs.

"You're looking rather cheerful this morning," Peyton said as Brooke walked into the living room.

"Am I?" Brooke asked.

"You are. And I must say, I'm thrilled. It's been a long time since I've seen you like this."

"We'll see how long it lasts."

"Come on, let's go."

The two girls left the house and hopped into Brooke's car and drove toward the school. For the first time since Lucas was shot Brooke wasn't dreading going to school but she couldn't say she was looking forward to it either. Right as Brooke pulled into the parking lot and stepped out of the car she heard someone call her name behind her. She turned around to see Karen walking toward her. _That's odd, what's Karen doing here? _ Brooke thought to herself.

"Morning Brooke," Karen said sweetly.

"Morning Karen. What brings you to Tree Hill High this morning?" Brooke replied curiously.

"This." Karen pulled her hand from behind her back and revealed the envelope and the ring box.

"I don't understand?"

"I found them in Lucas' room this morning. The envelope is addressed to you and the ring box was on top of the envelope so I figured the two must go together which means the ring also goes to you."

Brooke took them from Karen gingerly. She opened the ring box and looked down. Almost immediately there were tears in her eyes. Staring back at her was a diamond ring. _No, Brooke, that's not just any diamond ring. Oh my god, it's an engagement ring. He was gonna propose. He really did love me _she said to herself.

"I'm sorry to do this to you before school but Lucas would want you to have it. Even now. The ring is yours if you want it," Karen said.

"Thank you Karen. I really appreciate it. This might sound corny but I feel weird doing it myself, would you put it on me?" Brooke replied.

Karen smiled as she nodded. She took the ring from the box and slid it on Brooke's left ring finger. She stood back and watched as Brooke smiled through her tears and the young girl stared at the ring on her finger. Peyton, who had been watching the whole thing, smiled as Karen hugged Brooke one last time before leaving.

"I told you he was the one for me. Now this ring proves it to the world. Lucas Scott and Brooke Davis are meant for each other. Even in death, he's the only one I want and I'm never taking this ring off. Not as long as there is a breath in me. I will die unofficially engaged to Lucas Scott, the greatest man ever to come into my life," Brooke said as the two linked arms and walked toward the building.

"You're crazy. You and I both know you didn't need the ring to believe you were well on your way to being engaged to Lucas but if that's how you wanna look at this ring, a symbol of your love then by all means, don't let me stop you," Peyton said to her best friend.

"Thank you."

"Hey what did Karen want?" Haley asked as Brooke and Peyton approached their friend who was at the picnic table with Nathan, Mouth and Rachel.

"Oh nothing. She just found a letter addressed to me in Lucas' room and she thought I should have it," Brooke said with a grin and she carefully hid her left hand. Peyton couldn't help but snicker a little at how smoothly Brooke had just lied.

"Oh ok," was all Haley said, followed almost immediately with, "Brooke Penelope Davis. What is that on your finger?"

"What are you talking about?" Brooke smiled innocently at Haley.

"That ring. Where did it come from?"

"Oh this. It's from Lucas."

"It's an engagement ring Brooke."

"I know it is Hales."

"Did you forget to tell us something?"

"Nope."

"Brooke."

"What?"

"If you didn't forget to tell us something how are you wearing an engagement ring from my dead brother?" Nathan asked completely dumbfounded.

"Because you idiot, Karen didn't just find a letter for me in Lucas' room. She also found a ring box holding this very ring which is obviously supposed to be mine. She wanted me to have it so she came over here to give it to me before I started my day. While it's not ideal to have my dead boyfriend's mother giving me the engagement ring he bought for me I'm glad she did. Like I told Peyton, I'm going to die unofficially engaged to Lucas," Brooke explained.

Haley squealed as she jumped off the picnic table and threw her arms around Brooke. She had known Lucas would propose but she didn't realize that the ring had already been picked out and purchased. Lucas had never told her that much, not that Haley blamed him. She did have a tendency to talk way more than she should at times.

"Well I guess I should say welcome to the family," Nathan said with a grin as he pulled Brooke into a hug.

"Thanks Nate. I appreciate that," Brooke responded as she returned the hug.

They broke apart just as the bell rang and the group of friends walked into the building together. Haley and Nathan holding hands; Mouth and Rachel walking with their arms linked with Peyton and Brooke behind them also joined at the elbows. Maybe today wouldn't be so bad after all. At least Brooke hoped it wouldn't. She made a mental note to stop at the cemetery on her way home to let Lucas know she got the ring and it was never coming off.

The morning flew by in a blur for Brooke. She had announced on the PA system that she was stepping down as student body president before the beginning of second period and shortly before lunch it was announced that Mouth was taking over. Brooke smiled as she heard that, knowing they were in good and capable hands. Brooke walked outside to join the rest of the gang at the picnic table for lunch. She had been dying to read the letter from Lucas all day long but had yet to find a moment to do so. Lunch seemed like a perfect time. As soon as she sat down Brooke tore the envelope open and unfolded the letter and started reading.

_Cheery,_

_I wanted to take the time to sit down and tell you all the things I love about you. But as I sat down to do it, I realized there weren't enough trees in the world in order for me to have enough paper. I hope you'll forgive me. _

_You are the most amazing girl I've ever known. Nobody could ever compare to you. I was never a believer in love at first sight but then you walked by me that first time and I was weak in the knees. My throat closed and I swear my heart stopped beating for at least three seconds. In that moment Brooke, I knew you were the girl for me. All I had to do was find a way to make you see that. And as I write this letter, I can only hope that you see it now. But more than that I hope you feel because I know I do. I love you, Cheery, always and forever. _

_Okay, don't get mad at me, but this is the part in the letter where I get completely serious and maybe even a little morbid but I feel like I need to say this. Just in case I never get the opportunity to say it face to face. If something happens to me, I want you to move on. I don't want you to dwell on my being gone. You deserve to be happy and live a life full of happiness and love. I hope to always be the guy to make you happy and love you but if something happens and I don't get to do that, promise me you won't dwell on me. It would break my heart to know you were miserable. No matter what though, I'll always be with you. I'll be in your heart from now until death and beyond into our days of eternal life. I love you Brooke, you mean the world to me. That's it, no more morbid premonitions. At least not until next time. I'm kidding! _

_As you noticed, I gave you a ring with this letter. This may not be your fairy tale idea of a proposal but I have one thing I need to ask you. Brooke Penelope Davis, will you do me the greatest honor in all the world and please marry me? I'll be waiting for you at the docks at sunset. I don't want an answer till then. _

_I love you Brooke. Always and forever. Nothing can change that. You're all mine forever. _

_Love,_

_Broody _

Brooke folded the letter back up and put in her bag before she reached up to wipe the tears that had fallen off her face. Lucas never failed to amaze her, but what's more than that, he never failed to make sure she knew just how much she meant to him. Brooke looked up to find Haley, Peyton, Nathan, Rachel and Mouth all staring at her questioningly.

"Well? What did it say?" Peyton asked.

Brooke thought about telling her but then she decided against it. No, this was private. Between her and Lucas, just the way it should be. Later on that night Brooke was gonna go to the docks, at sunset and she was gonna give Lucas the answer to his proposal. It didn't matter to her that he was dead and it would never actually become more than just a question written in a letter. None of that mattered. She still felt she owed it him to answer him.

"I'm not saying," Brooke replied.

Peyton stuck her bottom lip out and crossed her arms over her chest in hopes that Brooke would cave. It didn't work though, all it made Brooke do was laugh. Sometimes Peyton was impossible and now was obviously one of those times but that wasn't Brooke's problem.

"Come on Peyt. Let it be. If Brooke wanted anyone to know what's in the letter she'd say so but obviously she doesn't. You have to respect that," Haley said as she grinned.

"Aren't you a little bit curious about what it says?" Peyton asked.

"Of course I am. But I'm not gonna pout until Brooke tells me unlike someone else I know."

"Thank you Hales," Brooke said as she stuck her tongue out at Peyton.

"Kiss ass," Peyton said to Haley.

"Shut up. I am not."

"Ladies, play nice," Mouth said with a grin.

Everybody laughed at this. Mouth usually didn't get involved in trying to break up a verbal thing. He was normally the silent observer and nothing more.

As everyone was finishing up lunch Brooke got up from her spot at the table and wandered away from her friends. She suddenly had an overwhelming desire to be alone. Listening to her friends try and convince her to tell them what Lucas had written in the letter had gotten to be too much. When she was far enough away Brooke sat under a tree and pulled out the letter again. She looked at the date and her breath caught in her throat. Lucas had written this letter the day before he was killed. She just sat there, staring at the date. He was going to propose the day he died. They should have been happily engaged by now but instead Brooke was alive without Lucas because of Jimmy. A single tear slipped down Brooke's cheek. She didn't even bother to wipe it away. There was no use, there was sure to be more to come. Sure enough, not even two minutes after the first tear slipped down, there was a steady stream of tears pouring down her cheeks.

"Luke, I love you. So much, I'll never forget you. You'll always be a part of me. You wrote that I am all yours forever and I'm gonna live my life that way. From now until death, I belong to you and you alone. My heart is yours completely. I don't think I could ever love anyone half as much as I love you. All those things we talked about, us being a family and have kids of our own, I don't want any of that if I can't have them with you. Thank you, for the ring baby. It's gorgeous. I'm never taking it off. I'll wear it til every breath in my body is gone. I'll see you again someday," Brooke said quietly as tears continued to fall down her face.

A few minutes later, Brooke put the letter away again before she stood up to go to class. She wiped the tears from her cheeks and walked toward the building. Maybe she really was gonna be okay. Time was still the best judge and that was fine but just feeling like it was possible Brooke couldn't help but smile.

"Hey where'd you run off to?" Nathan asked as he caught up to Brooke.

"I just sat under a tree for a little while. I was rereading the letter from Lucas and talking to him a little bit," Brooke replied.

"Oh, so you're okay?"

"Ya, I'm okay, Nathan."

"I just wanted to make sure. You left pretty suddenly. And you didn't say anything so I had to make sure that everything was okay because of it."

"It's okay, Nate. I appreciate you looking out for me. And I know Lucas appreciates it too. He was lucky to have you as a brother, even if you can be an asshole sometimes you're a pretty great guy."

"Thanks Brooke. But I think I was the lucky one. Luke could have ignored me and pretended like it didn't matter we're brothers but he chose to be the bigger person and because of that I got to know my brother and I got to be a better person because I got to know him. If not for Luke I really don't think I would have fallen for Haley, I'd still be chasing my latest conquest for a one night thing. Instead, I'm married to the best girl in the world and I can't help but think Luke had a lot to do with that."

"I guess we were both pretty lucky to have known Lucas. He made us both want to be better people and I think, at least for me, it worked. The influence of Lucas in my life has been so great that I don't remember what my life looked like before I knew him or even before I fell in love with him."

Nathan and Brooke walked to class, arms linked while they kept talking about how much Lucas meant to their lives. Soon they were in front of Brooke's class. Nathan wrapped her in a quick hug and dropped a kiss on her forehead.

"Hang in there. It's gonna get better," he whispered before turning to walk the rest of the way to his class.

"You too Nate," Brooke said to his retreating figure.

"Hey, what are you doing kissing my husband?" Haley asked Brooke with a grin as she walked in and sat at the desk next to her friend.

"He kissed me. I didn't do anything. Besides, you know it was just a friendly thing Hales. Have you forgotten our hearts belong to other people?" Brooke replied as she stuck her tongue out at Haley.

"Relax, I was kidding. Of course I know it was a friendly thing. But that doesn't mean I can't have my fun and watch you squirm anyway."

"Evil. Luke would hate you for doing that to me."

"No he wouldn't. You forget, I was the best friend. He could never hate me. Believe me, he tried to so many times but it never worked. He would always come back begging me to let him be my best friend again. I always took him back because he was my best friend and I loved having him in my life. Luke was more than just my best friend, he was like a brother to me. And he always will be."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you Haley. It's just today is the first day I'm really beginning to feel like me since, well you know when. I'm not sure if I like it or not though because if I feel like this does that mean it's happening, am I moving on?"

"It's okay to move on Brooke. Luke would want that for you. He wouldn't want you to be stuck in the emotional trap you've been in. He'd want to see you living life with everything you have inside of you. Be the girl he fell in love with."

"I don't know if I can be that girl anymore Hales. It's hard to think about being that girl without him here. If I become that girl again, I dunno, I just don't think I can do it without Lucas here. He's the reason I became that girl, without him, I don't feel like I should be that girl anymore. This is all so hard. I've never been so in love with anyone in my life. Felix was just a fling and every other guy was just a good time between the sheets, if you know what I mean. God I was such a little slut! Then Lucas shows up and sweeps me off my feet and steals my heart."

Brooke felt the tears coming again. She tried to bite them back but it was no use. They were falling and they were falling fast. Haley reached over to grab Brooke's hand and squeezed. The brunette looked up at her friend and tried to smile at her but had no luck. All she could do was cry. A minute later the teacher walked in. Brooke pulled her hand away from Haley and furiously wiped the tears from her eyes. She didn't want the teacher to know she had been crying again. Lately whenever she cried during class the teacher would send her down to the guidance counselor to talk and Brooke was in no mood to talk to that woman today. In fact, if Brooke had it her way, she'd never talk to her again. The woman was supposed to make people feel better about things in life and yet every time Brooke ended up in her office, she left feeling worse then when she had been told to go speak to her. She wasn't doing that again.

"Miss Davis, is everything all right?" Mrs. Appleton, Brooke's math teacher, asked gently.

"Yes, ma'am. I'm fine, thank you," Brooke replied as she took a deep breath.

There was no way Mrs. Appleton would convince Brooke to go to the guidance counselor. If she needed to talk to someone it was gonna have to wait and then she'd talk to her friends but never again was Brooke talking to that insensitive bitch.

"All right, as long as you're sure."

"I am."

Mrs. Appleton smiled politely before returning to the front of the room to begin class. Brooke was relieved that for the first time in a while, a teacher actually believed her when she said she was okay. And even more than that, Brooke believed herself this time. Glancing down at her left hand Brooke's face lit up as the sun light hit the diamond on her finger. She was finally beginning to realize that it was okay to move on. Moving on didn't mean forgetting Lucas or the love they shared. Moving on meant not letting her grief get the best of her and ruin her life. No, she didn't want that because if she let that happen, that would mean Jimmy won. Even in death and the last Brooke wanted was for Jimmy to win.

"Hey, I'm going to the docks on sunset. I have to do something but I want you there. Pass the word on to the rest of gang. It's really important," Brooke said to Haley as they stood up at the end of class.

"Okay. I'll make sure everybody's there. See you later Tigger," Haley said as she hugged Brooke quickly before leaving to go find Nathan.

Brooke was standing there, smiling to herself as she stared down at the ring on her finger. She couldn't remember a time when she had felt closer to Lucas which struck her as odd because he was dead of course. It was almost like he had come back to life when Karen showed up that morning and Brooke saw the ring. Then again when she read the letter. She was so wrapped up in thoughts of Lucas that she didn't realize Bevin had come up beside her.

"Hey, who's the guy?" Bevin asked as she grabbed Brooke's hand.

"Lucas," Brooke replied with a genuine smile.

"What? But he's dead. Isn't he?"

"Yes Bevin, Lucas is dead. Thanks for the update. That still hasn't changed."

"Well if he's dead, how is he the guy that gave you this ring? And why are you wearing it on your left hand?"

"Bevin, your stupidity never ceases to amaze me. First of all, I'm wearing the ring on my left hand because that's the proper place for an engagement ring and second of all Lucas is the guy because he bought the ring before he died. His mom found it this morning and thought I should have it even though Luke's gone now."

"Why would you wear it though? You're officially on the market again now that Lucas is dead."

"No, Bevin. I'm officially still off the market because my heart belongs to one man and one man only. It doesn't matter to me that he's dead and never got the chance to give me this ring himself. When Lucas died, my love for him didn't. And it never will. I'll always love Lucas and it wouldn't be fair for me to give my heart to anyone else because they would never have half as much as Lucas does."

"I don't get it."

"Of course you don't. It's not your fault you haven't experienced mind blowing, head over heels, butterflies in the stomach all the time love. But you will. Someday and when it happens it'll take your breath away."

"Did Lucas take your breath away?"

"All the time. He still does. Just thinking about him is enough to knock the wind out of me."

"That's amazing. It must be so hard for you now."

"You know, it was but it's getting better. A little bit every day. I'm starting to realize that I can do this because even though Luke doesn't walk the Earth with me physically every day, he's always with me in my heart and knowing that is what has kept me going. Sometimes it's the very thing that has almost stopped me from going too."

Bevin had no idea how to respond to that. There were no words to express anything she could have been thinking in that moment. All she knew was that Brooke was amazing and it blew her away to see how strong she appeared to be despite losing the obvious love of her life before they even turned 18.

"Hey if it isn't my favorite sister in law," Nathan said as he came up along side Brooke and Bevin.

"Hey brother in law," Brooke laughed.

"Hales said you want us to go down to the docks with you at sunset tonight?"

"Yup. Just be there and you'll know why."

"You're not even gonna give me a hint?"

"Why would I do that?"

"Because you love me?"

"Nope, I love Lucas. Sorry. There's only room for one Scott brother in this heart and that has been filled by Luke."

"Ouch."

"Shut up you big baby."

Nathan pouted at Brooke who just swatted him playfully. Bevin watched as they fought back and forth. It was nice to see Brooke smile. And not just a fake smile either. Bevin knew the difference between when Brooke was faking it and genuinely smile. As she watched her captain with Nathan, there wasn't a doubt in her mind that the smile on Brooke's face was 100 percent genuine.

Later that night as the sun was starting to go down, everyone was at the docks. They were waiting for Brooke. She had called Karen and Keith to ask that they be there too because she felt that they should be there for this. Just as the sun dipped a little lower Brooke walked down to the edge of the docks. Everybody watched her expectantly, none of them knowing what was about to happen.

"Lucas you asked me to come to the docks at sunset to give you my answer. I'm here now and I have my answer," Brooke started as she looked around at her friends. They all held expressions of confusion.

"Yes, Lucas Eugene Scott. I would love to do you the greatest honor in all the world and be your wife," Brooke said as a tear slid down her cheek. She looked up to the sky and blew a kiss.

"I love you," she whispered before turning and walking back to her car.

Everyone that had been there stood in silent awe. They couldn't believe what had just happened. Brooke made the engagement official, despite Lucas being dead. She truly was going to die engaged to him.

_There you have chapter 6…things are going to look up for the most part for most of the story now. With one notable exception really soon…Lucas' birthday. You know what to do! _


	7. Chapter 7

"_Yes, Lucas Eugene Scott. I would love to do you the greatest honor in all the world and be your wife," Brooke said as a tear slid down her cheek. She looked up to the sky and blew a kiss. _

"_I love you," she whispered before turning and walking back to her car. _

_Everyone that had been there stood in silent awe. They couldn't believe what had just happened. Brooke made the engagement official, despite Lucas being dead. She truly was going to die engaged to him. _

Nothing like this had ever happened to Brooke before. She never would have dreamt that Lucas would propose to her in a letter and then have her meet him at the docks at sunset with an answer. Nothing in Brooke's life was "normal" or stereotypical "rich girl". Sure, she was always known for being the spoiled only child of James and Julie Davis, Tree Hill socialites, but Brooke was so much more than that. She always has been. She was a teenage girl who loved to shop. It didn't hurt that she had access to Daddy's credit card whenever she wanted. But her attitude toward that lifestyle changed when she met Lucas, the not so rich boy from the rougher side of Tree Hill.

"Luke, I love you. I can't believe I'm okay here without you. It doesn't seem right, or fair. Your life is over, our life together is over before it ever really started but my life is still going. How is that fair? It's not! Oh god, I miss you. It's times like these I wish you were still here so you could tell me everything is gonna be all right but in that smart way of yours that I always thought was sexy," Brooke said as she kept driving.

Brooke wasn't sure where she was going. All she knew was that there was this indescribable longing to drive. So that's what Brooke was doing. Then, just as she drove past a sign that read "You are now leaving…Tree Hill", her cell phone rang. For one brief moment, Brooke considered letting it go to voicemail but then she thought of all the people who would worry about it.

"Hello," she answered, distractedly.

"Where are you? I need to talk to you," Rachel asked.

"Who is this?"

"Rachel, where are you?"

"I just left Tree Hill."

"What? Why? Where are you going?"

"I'm not sure where I'm going or why. I just needed to drive somewhere, anywhere. What's up? Can you talk to me on the phone?"

"I guess I'm gonna have to because this really can't wait."

"Okay. What's going on Rachel? You're starting to make me nervous."

Brooke was worried. As she listened to Rachel, she thought she could hear sniffling. Maybe they could talk on the phone for now but the tone of Rachel's voice was enough to make Brooke turn around and drive right back to Tree Hill.

"I'm pregnant Brooke," Rachel choked out.

"You're what? Oh shit, who's the father?" Brooke replied nervously.

"Mouth."

"What? Oh geez. Tell me you didn't just say what I think you said."

"Yes, Brooke, I did. I said Mouth. I'm pregnant and Mouth is the father. And before you ask, yes, I'm sure. Cause, believe it or not, he's the only guy in Tree Hill I've slept with."

"So you never"

"Slept with Lucas? No, I never slept with Lucas. I just said I did because it was all part of my bitchy little plot to steal him away from you."

"Wow, okay. I'm uh back in Tree Hill. Where are you?"

"Sitting in my car, in your driveway. I came over here looking for you but when I didn't say your car I stayed."

"That's fine. You know my parents are never around anyway. Okay, I'm here."

The two girls closed their phones. Rachel got out of her car and waited for Brooke to get out of hers before moving toward the door. Brooke stepped out of her car and in front of Rachel. She reached out and pulled the distraught redhead into a hug.

"It's gonna be okay Rachel. You can get through this," Brooke said quietly as she led them up the walkway and into the house.

"No it's not. Mouth is doomed. Any guy that gets too close or I've had a physical connection with, always ends up dead. It's like the kiss of death for guys to come near me. Oh god, Brooke what am I gonna do? Mouth is gonna hate me. I ruined his life," Rachel cried.

"Rachel, look at me. Mouth is not gonna hate you and you did not ruin his life. He'll be there for you and for the baby because Mouth doesn't run from responsibility. This may not be an ideal situation for either of you but I promise everything is gonna be okay."

"How do you know everything is gonna be okay?"

"The same way everyone knows I'm gonna be okay without Lucas. I have faith in you Rachel. And besides, I'll help anyway I can. I mean it, if you need anything, don't be afraid to ask."

"Brooke, no. You have enough to worry about without me adding to it."

"Rachel, it's okay. I really don't mind. Just think of it this way. The more I focus on helping you the less I focus on the fact that Lucas is dead. It may not be an ideal distraction from the reality but it's here and I can't pass up on it."

"Thank you. Really, you're amazing."

"It's no problem. You've done so much for me, the least I could do is return the favor. Now, do you wanna tell Mouth tonight or wait until morning? It's totally up to you."

Rachel was quiet for a minute. She had to decide what would be better, easier. Should she tell Mouth that she's pregnant now when the option of talking alone is there or do it in the morning in front of everyone. The more Rachel thought about it, the more she realized she should get it out of the way and just tell him now. It might not be so hard with Brooke around.

"Rachel?" Brooke asked gently.

"Now, I wanna tell him now," she answered.

Brooke smiled as she nodded. Telling Mouth now was definitely the best way to go but she had to let Rachel decide what to do for herself.

"Okay, do you want me to call and have him come over here?"

Rachel nodded. It was amazing to her how fast Brooke snapped into help mode. She couldn't be more grateful though. The whole situation was stressing her out and scaring her. So to have Brooke helping was amazing.

"Hey, Mouth. It's Brooke, can you come over here? Rachel needs to talk to you," Brooke said when Mouth answered the phone.

"Um, okay? What's going on? Why didn't Rachel call me herself?" Mouth replied. He was totally thrown off and completely unprepared for what was about to go down.

"Please, Mouth. Rachel will tell you everything when you get here."

"Okay, I'll be there in five minutes."

"Thank you."

Brooke closed her phone and turned back around to face Rachel. It didn't surprise her one bit that Rachel looked nervous. Brooke knew if she had to do something like this, she would be nervous too.

"Is he coming?" Rachel asked, her tone shaky.

"Yes. He'll be here in five minutes," Brooke replied.

"Thank you, really. This is amazing. I don't think anyone else would have done this for me. Especially not if they were going through everything you're going through lately. I know for sure Peyton would be the last one to offer to help me like this. But that's only because she's threatened by my presence in your life. I wish I could make her understand I'm not trying to push my way into her spot in your life. I don't wanna take her best friend away from her. Is it not possible for another girl to say you are her best friend without Peyton freaking out in a jealous rage?"

"Sometimes I don't think so but she's always been that way. For a while she was even jealous of Lucas."

"What? Are you kidding me?"

"I wish. But we talked and I told her that just because I had Lucas in my life didn't mean I no longer needed her in my life. It took a lot of patience but in the end, Peyton understood. It's different with you because you're another girl. So in Peyton's eyes you're a legitimate threat to her place in my life."

"That's crazy."

"I know that. You know that. Peyton knows it too but she still freaks out because that's how she is."

Rachel was just about to respond to that when the doorbell rang. She froze immediately as Brooke stood up to let Mouth in. This was either going to be the loudest Brooke had ever heard Mouth get or the quietest she had ever heard Rachel.

"I'm just gonna go upstairs. You two can talk in the living room or kitchen or wherever you feel like. Try not to kill each other," Brooke said as she left Mouth and Rachel to face each other.

"Rachel. What's going on? Why is Brooke jumping into "I wanna help so I don't have to focus on my problem" mode? And why do you need to talk to me but can't call and tell me yourself?" Mouth asked.

Before I tell you anything, you have to promise you believe me that I'm not just telling you what I'm about to say to trap you into anything. I'm not that kind of girl. I don't do that," Rachel said quietly.

"Okay, I promise. Now will you please tell me what's going on?"

"I'm pregnant, Mouth. And"

"The baby's mine?"

"Yes."

Rachel looked at the floor as she felt tears well up in her eyes. She was so afraid that Mouth was gonna walk away, even after Brooke insisted that wouldn't do that to her or the baby. Mouth didn't know what to say, his entire world had been turned upside down with one sentence.

"Mouth. Say something. Please?" Rachel pleaded tearfully.

"Like what? What do you want me to say Rachel? Do you want me to lie to you and say that it's okay? Is that what you want?" Mouth exploded.

"No. Please, don't yell at me. Mouth, I'm scared too."

"I'm sorry. Come here, please. I didn't mean to blow up at you like that."

Rachel sat on the couch next to Mouth. He reached over and pulled Rachel into his chest, wrapping his arms around her. They were gonna have to find a way to deal with this together.

"Mouth, what are we gonna do?" Rachel asked timidly.

"What are the options?" Mouth responded.

"Abortion but not in my world. So that leaves adoption and raising the baby together."

"What do you wanna do?"

"Honestly, I'm not sure. But I need to know that you're gonna be there are the way through this. For me and for the baby."

"Of course I will. Rachel, you don't ever have to worry about that. We're in this together. You, me and this baby. I'm not going anywhere, Rachel, I promise."

"I believe you, I do. My nerves are just a jumbled mess and I don't mean to make you think I have any doubt in your words because I don't. Mouth, you are one of very few guys to ever tell me the truth. And now that we have that out of the way, we have so many other things to think about."

"Rachel, slow down. Let's take it one day at a time. You don't wanna overdo it and stress yourself out. You could hurt the baby that way and I know you don't want that. Neither do I for that matter."

Rachel smiled as she leaned back against Mouth's chest and closed her eyes. He draped his arm across her body and let his hand rest protectively on her stomach. The smile on Rachel's face grew wider as she felt Mouth's hand touch her stomach.

Meanwhile, Brooke sat at the top of the stairs with tears running down her cheeks. Listening to Mouth and Rachel made her miss Lucas all over again. And not only that but it made the fact that she would never have a family with Lucas hurt all over again. But she wasn't gonna say anything about any of this to Mouth or Rachel. She didn't want them to feel bad for stirring up these emotions. They couldn't have known it was going to happen. Brooke couldn't have even known it was going to happen. She stayed on the stairs until it was quiet in the living room. As she walked down the stairs the rest of the way, she turned her head and the scene before her brought a fresh batch of tears to her eyes. Mouth lay on the couch with Rachel resting on his chest and his hand on her stomach. Despite the worried looks on their faces Brooke could see that Rachel also felt safe in Mouth's embrace. She carefully made her way to the couch and draped a blanket over her friends before going into the kitchen to get something to eat. Even though it was late, Brooke was starving.

"Good night," Brooke said softly as she made her way back up the stairs with a sandwich in her hand.

"Good night, Brooke. Thank you," Rachel mumbled.

"You're welcome."

Brooke smiled as she closed her bedroom door behind her. Life was a mess and it was only getting crazier by the day. Brooke silently prayed that nothing else would be thrown at her for a while. Dealing with Lucas' death and helping Rachel was sure to take more out of her then she had ever experienced in her life. That was the last thing she needed with the Classic coming up. _Oh shit! The Classic. I need Rachel there. Shit, shit, shit! This is really bad timing. We have to win. Oh crap! _Brooke thought to herself as she closed her eyes for the night.

Around 2:30 in the morning Brooke sat up right in bed. She could hear Rachel sobbing downstairs and she thought that Mouth was talking too but she couldn't be sure. Faster than lightning Brooke was down the stairs in the living room, hugging Rachel. Mouth was no longer there and that made Brooke mad.

"He left, he promised he wasn't going anywhere but now he's gone," Rachel cried.

"Shh, Rachel, it's okay. We'll deal with Mouth later. Just go back to sleep, it's gonna be okay. I promise," Brooke said softly.

"No it's not! He promised Brooke. I told you this was gonna happen. He's mad at me for ruining his life and now he's gone. I never should have told him that he's gonna be a father. He wouldn't have left if he didn't know."

"Rachel, you did the right thing. You know that Mouth deserves to know. And even though he's not here anymore, he's grateful to know about the baby."

"How do you know? How do you know he wasn't just making empty promises Brooke? I can't do this alone, this baby deserves to have two parents. Hell, I don't even know if I can do it with Mouth being around."

"Stop that. You can do this. And no matter what, you're never gonna be alone. You'll always have me. Always, and that's a promise you can count on. It's all gonna be okay. Now, come upstairs with me. There's no way you should be sleeping on the couch."

Rachel nodded slowly as she stood up from the couch. The two girls walked up the stairs side by side. Brooke walked over to her bed and patted the spot next to her. Rachel looked at her questioningly.

"Come on, Rachel. There's plenty of room. Get over here," Brooke said with a smile.

"Okay," Rachel said hesitantly.

The two fell asleep within minutes. Rachel's face was tear stained and Brooke was pissed at Mouth. She couldn't believe he would do something like this, especially after promising not to go anywhere. He was gonna have a lot of explaining to do in the morning.

Meanwhile, Mouth was sitting in front of Lucas' grave with tears running down his face. He didn't know what else to do or where else to go so he came here.

"Luke, everything is so messed up. I can't be someone's father. How did this happen? Okay, I know how but why now? Why me? This is the last thing I ever thought was gonna happen to me. I had never done anything until I met Rachel. Lucas, I think I love her. But this is all happening to fast. And now she probably thinks I bailed on her because I'm not still next to her on Brooke's couch. Oh gosh, Brooke's being so great to Rachel with this. You'd be so proud of her Luke. It's like she's coming around. All right, I just wanted to come out here and get this off my chest. Thanks for listening man. I miss you," Mouth said. And just like everyone else who came down to visit Lucas, Mouth kissed his hand and placed it on the grave.

As he walked out of the cemetery Mouth wiped the tears from his eyes. He was terrified. Being a father wasn't something he was remotely ready for but now that didn't matter. Rachel was pregnant and the baby was his. He couldn't be a coward and skip out on her, that was beyond unacceptable. He got back to Brooke's and quietly let himself in. His heart sank when he didn't see Rachel on the couch.

"Crap. Brooke knows I left. She's gonna kill me," Mouth said quietly.

"You're right. I am gonna kill you. Where the hell did you go?" Brooke snapped as she came down the stairs after hearing the door open.

"I went to talk to Lucas. I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you," Mouth apologized.

"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to. I'm not the one who is scared you abandoned her. God, Mouth what the hell is wrong with you? Why would you wait until Rachel was asleep before taking off? Are you insane?"

"I know that Brooke! You think I liked doing it this way? Where is she?"

"Upstairs, sleeping. Leave her alone till morning. I swear to God if you're not here when she wakes up I'll kick your ass myself. Good night."

Brooke didn't wait for Mouth to say anything before going back up to her room. Mouth collapsed onto the couch and closed his eyes. This was the beginning of what was sure to be hell for him.

"He's back, Rachel, he didn't leave you," Brooke whispered.

A couple hours later Brooke and Rachel woke up to get ready for the day.

"Hey, how you doing there kid?" Brooke asked Rachel with a smile.

"Okay, I guess. Where did you go last night?" Rachel asked.

"Downstairs for a minute. I heard the door open. Mouth came back. He didn't leave you. I tried to tell you last night but you didn't respond. He better still be here because I told him if he wasn't when you got up I'd kick his ass."

"He came back."

Rachel smiled as she laid a hand on her stomach. Brooke watched for a minute before turning around to leave the room. She bounded down the stairs and checked the living room, Mouth wasn't there.

"Damn it," she said to herself.

"What?" Mouth asked as he walked back in the living room.

"Oh nothing."

"Thought I left again didn't you? I'm not an idiot Brooke, I know you're serious about kicking my ass if I leave."

"Well yeah. Rachel's my friend."

"What about me?"

"You're my friend too but if you ditch Rachel and your baby I'll retract that statement."

"Is she up? I wanna talk to her. Tell her I'm sorry for leaving like that last night. I feel like a jerk."

"Good, you should feel like a jerk. I was scared that you lied to me Mouth," Rachel said as she came down the stairs.

"Rachel. I'm so sorry I didn't mean to scare you. I just had to get out and think. I went to the cemetery. I didn't wanna wake you up."

"You didn't wanna wake me up? Mouth I was never asleep. I felt you get off the couch, I thought you were just getting up to get a drink or something but then I heard the front door and I thought you had left for good. Why wouldn't you tell me you were going for a walk? Huh? I wouldn't have said no, that's not my place but damn it, you just left! Do you have any idea what that felt like? Do you?"

"No, I'm sorry. Please, don't be upset. I didn't mean for it happen this way. I love you."

Rachel was staring at the floor as tears pricked at the back of her eyes but as the last sentence fell from Mouth's lips, she jerked her head back up.

"What did you just say?" she barely whispered.

"I love you Rachel," Mouth repeated.

If Brooke wasn't a sucker for romance she would have slapped Mouth in that moment. Did he really think that was going to make Rachel feel better? She was in just as much shock as Rachel. She'd never heard Mouth get so vulnerable with anyone, with the exception of Lucas or Haley. Brooke felt like she was in a cone of silence while she waited to see how Rachel was gonna respond to that.

"Rachel?" Mouth asked softly, hope evident.

"Yeah?" Rachel replied.

"Did you hear what I said?"

"I heard you. I just, I dunno how to respond to that. I'm sorry."

Mouth dropped his head. She didn't love him. That stung but there was nothing he could do about it right now. He was about to leave when he felt Rachel grab his arm.

"Mouth, wait. Don't go," she begged.

"I'm sorry. I can't be here right now. I need to get out, clear my head."

"Mouth, talk to me. Please."

Mouth shook his head as he turned to leave. Rachel watched as a tear slid down her cheek. He loved her and she couldn't say it back. It wasn't because she didn't feel the same way, because if Rachel had to tell the truth, she did love him. So much, and that terrified her. Brooke watched in silent awe, anger swirling in her again.

"I'll be right back," Brooke said to Rachel as she followed Mouth out the door.

"Mouth!" she yelled as she shut the door behind her. He didn't react, he just kept walking away.

"Damn it Mouth. Stop, please. Don't make me chase you, I swear to God," Brooke yelled.

Mouth stopped finally and turned around to face Brooke. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw his tear stained face.

"She doesn't love me. You don't know how much that hurts," Mouth said coldly.

"Yes she does Mouth. I can see it in her eyes. She loves you, she's just terrified that the same thing that has happened to every other guy she's ever loved is gonna happen to you. And now that fear is worse because this situation is different. Mouth, get your ass back in there and talk to her," Brooke said.

"Why wouldn't she say it then?"

"Because she's scared Mouth. Don't you get it?"

"No, I don't get it. If you love someone you shouldn't be afraid to tell them."

Brooke couldn't say anything to that because she knew Mouth was right. But Rachel had her reasons for not saying it back and there was nothing either of them could do to change that.

"Come on. You have to go back in there. She needs you Mouth. If you really love her you'll come back into that house with me."

"Let's go."

Brooke smiled as she linked arms with her friend and they walked back into the house. Rachel was sitting on the couch, her head in her hands. Mouth looked at Brooke before walking back into the living room and sitting next to Rachel on the couch. He grabbed her hand in his and brought it to his lips. She looked up then and smiled a teary eyed smile first at Mouth and then at Brooke before mouthing "thank you".

"Rachel, look. I know I shouldn't have walked away like that. But I want you to know, nothing is gonna happen to me. I'm gonna be fine because if I'm not, then my promise is broken. And I swear to you Rachel, nothing can make me break that promise," Mouth said as he continued to hold her hand.

"I love you too," was all Rachel could say.

Brooke looked at them and smiled as she watched Mouth's face light up. That had been all he needed to hear. Sure, her life was crazy and things weren't exactly the best without Lucas but she still had her friends and for now, that was good enough because she knew that no matter what happened, they would stick together.

"Thank you, Lucas," Brooke said silently.

She gave Rachel and Mouth a few minutes to themselves before walking into the living room again.

"Hey, you two, are we going to school or what?" she asked.

"Brooke, you're still here?" Rachel asked surprised.

"Uh, yeah. I do live here you know."

"I know but it was quiet. I thought you left."

"And miss this? Yeah right. I told you I was always gonna be here. And I meant it."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome, now are we going or what?"

"Let's go," Mouth said standing up tightly holding Rachel's hand in his.

Ten minutes later Brooke pulled into the school's parking lot and the three of them got out of her car and walked over to the picnic table where Peyton, Haley and Nathan were waiting for them. Mouth had Rachel's hand tightly in his as they approached their friends.

"Hey guys, what's going on?" Haley asked looking between the two of them and then at Brooke.

"Don't look at me," Brooke said innocently as she sat next to Peyton.

"Mouth? Rachel?" Peyton asked.

"Do you want to tell them or should I?" Mouth whispered in Rachel's ear.

Rachel didn't say anything. They just stood there, silently, as the other three looked at them expectantly.

"Something's going on. Come on guys you can tell us. We're your friends," Nathan said hoping it would get one of them to say something.

Rachel shook her head. She wasn't ready to say anything. At least not yet. Mouth was about to say something but Rachel stopped him. He looked at her and she shook her head.

"Brooke, do you know what's going on?" Haley asked.

"Yes," Brooke replied smiling at Rachel.

"Will you tell us?"

"Nope. It's not my place to say anything."

"Since when does that stop you?" Peyton asked.

"Thanks a lot best friend."

"You're welcome. You know I love you."

"Yeah, yeah. I'm still not saying anything. This is between Rachel and Mouth to tell you. Leave me out of it."

"But you know so technically you're involved too."

"Oh no, trust me, I'm not involved. I just know."

Rachel was biting her lip to keep from laughing as she listened to Peyton beg Brooke to them what was going on. It was actually pretty amusing considering her and Peyton didn't get along real well.

"Wait, I know, you finally said I love you to each other?" Haley asked.

"That's part of it," Rachel said.

"Part of it? What the heck does that mean?"

"Exactly what she said, Hales," Mouth answered.

"Mouth you dog," Nathan said with a grin as he put it together.

"What?"

Nathan grabbed Mouth by the arm and dragged him away from the rest of the group.

"You got her pregnant didn't you?" he asked with a smirk.

"Yeah, I did," Mouth replied.

"Congratulations man."

"Nate, don't say anything. Rachel doesn't want anyone else to know right now."

"Okay. I won't."

"I'm serious, don't even tell Haley."

"Mouth, don't worry about it dude. I got your backs. Just take care of Rachel okay?"

"Of course. Oh and Nate? Thanks."

"You're welcome."

The guys walked over to the group and it was no surprise to either of them that Peyton and Haley were giving them puppy eyes.

"Sorry girls. I can't say a word," Nathan said as he sat down again.

"Please?" Haley begged.

"Nope."

Mouth took Rachel's hand and pulled her off to the side.

"Does Nathan know?" she asked.

"He figured it out. How, I'm not sure, all I know is that he figured it out. But he promised not to say a word to the girls. You tell them when you're ready," Mouth told her.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Mouth leaned in and kissed Rachel gently before pulling back and smiling at her.

"You're gonna be a great daddy," she said with a smile.

"You're gonna be a great mommy," he shot back with the same smile.

Brooke couldn't help but smile through the tears that were falling as she watched her friends. It felt good to know that they were working things out.

"Hey, are you okay?" Peyton asked as she wrapped an arm around Brooke's shoulders.

"Yeah. I'm fine. Just thinking about Luke," Brooke answered as she reached up to wipe the tears away.

Peyton nodded as Brooke rested her head on her shoulder. As she watched Mouth and Rachel, she understood why Brooke was thinking about Lucas in that moment.


	8. Chapter 8

Two weeks had gone by since Rachel had told Brooke that she was pregnant. Two weeks and she still hadn't told anyone else. Just thinking about telling anyone else made Rachel want to vomit. Mouth was being incredibly patient, he didn't care if no one else knew as long as Rachel was safe, happy and healthy. And of course he felt that way about the baby too. Brooke was slipping again with all the talk about babies that she heard from Rachel when they hung out but she tried her best not to show it. She didn't want Rachel to feel bad or stop talking to her because even though it was hard on Brooke it was good for Rachel to talk about this stuff with another girl.

"Brooke? Are you listening to me? Hello, Brooke," Peyton said when they were hanging out at her house one day after school.

"What? Oh, I'm sorry, Peyton. I zoned out for a second. What did you say?" Brooke asked when she realized that Peyton was trying to get her attention.

"I asked you if you think the squad is ready for the Classic this weekend?" Peyton repeated with a smile.

"Oh yeah. Sure, of course they're ready. I mean, it's my squad, they better be ready. Oh my God, Peyton, what if they're not ready? This is my last shot at first place. They have to be ready."

Brooke was panicked now. The Classic was in two days and suddenly all the confidence she had had in her squad was disappearing. Rachel was going and intended to participate but only under the strong persistence from Mouth to Brooke that she not go overboard. He didn't want anything to happen to her or the baby. Brooke promised to watch out for Rachel and make sure she didn't work too hard. Brooke was glad that Rachel was going because she needed her there. The two were becoming closer with this whole pregnancy and Brooke wanted to make sure for herself that Rachel was okay and the only way that could happen was if Rachel was at the Classic. And if she didn't go the rest of the squad be suspicious.

"Rachel, you have to go! If you don't the other girls will wonder what's going on with you. Peyton and Haley already know something's up but if you don't go this weekend, so will the rest of the squad. Now I respect the fact that you're worried about something happening but I promised Mouth and I'm promising you now I'm not gonna let anything happen. Everything is gonna be fine. Please come this weekend. I need you there," Brooke pleaded with Rachel as they sat on her bed.

_"I dunno. I mean why do you need me there? Peyton and Haley are going. You can talk to them," Rachel replied._

_"Not like I talk to you. It's different with you. I mean yeah you tried to steal Lucas from me but in the end it was because of you that he came back to me. You gave me the love of my life back. You let me talk and you don't expect anything from me. You're just there. Peyton and Tutor Girl, they expect things from me. I need someone there who doesn't. Please Rachel? This is my last shot at kicking Claire Young's ass. I can't do it without you." _

_"You swear nothing's gonna happen?"_

_"I swear on Lucas' grave that I will watch out for you and the baby this weekend."_

_"Okay. I'll go."_

_"Thank you."_

_"You're welcome. Now, can we please talk about something else besides the Classic before I have to kill you?"_

_"Haha, funny."_

_"You know it was."_

"What's up with you today, B?" Peyton asked.

"Nothing. Why?" Brooke replied.

"You're spacier than normal."

"Thanks for that."

"You're welcome. Seriously though is everything okay? You've been acting really weird lately."

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. God why can't you believe me?"

"Sorry. But if you were okay you wouldn't space out on me three times in ten minutes. What's going on? And don't lie to me."

"I can't tell you. It's not my place."

"Don't start with that again."

"Peyton. I'm serious. I can't say anything. I promised Rachel I wouldn't say anything now could you please just drop it."

"Are you kidding? You're spacing out because of something you promised Rachel. I thought you were spacing out cause you're thinking about Lucas. Guess I can cross that off the list."

"Yeah, I guess you can. Because as much as miss Lucas there are other things on my mind lately. Rachel just so happens to be one of them. If you can't deal with it, I'm sorry but that's the truth."

"Fine. You know I really hate that you don't talk me half as much as you talk to Rachel anymore. And don't pretend like you do."

"Are we really gonna go there again? Peyton I'm sorry but can we not fight about this. I'm tired of it. I told you, you're still my best friend but Rachel's a really good friend too. She's not taking your place in my life. She doesn't wanna do that and I'm not letting her."

"Fine."

"Thank you."

"I just wish you would tell me what's going on."

"Peyton, I can't!"

Brooke stood up to leave. She couldn't fight with her anymore. And apparently she couldn't say anything to make Peyton understand that she wasn't telling her what was going on with Rachel out of respect for her friend and because she had promised not to say anything.

"Rachel, hey it's Brooke. You gotta tell the girls this weekend. If you don't I think Peyton might kill me in my sleep or something. I know you wanted to wait until you were ready but please do something. Even if you just tell Peyton. I don't care. Just make her stop bugging me," Brooke said as she flipped open her phone to call Rachel.

"She's still bothering you about it? Doesn't she understand that you made a promise?" Rachel replied.

"Apparently not. The only way she's gonna stop is if she knows what's going on. But I promised you I wouldn't say anything and I'm not breaking that promise. Please, please, do something about this. Before I end up dead or in jail for killing Peyton. If she doesn't shut up I think I might."

"Would that really be so bad?"

"Rachel!"

"Okay, I'm sorry. That was out of line. I'll talk to her if it'll make you feel better but you didn't actually promise me you wouldn't say anything about the baby."

"Oh, right. That was something I promised myself."

"Oh, well I appreciate it anyway."

"No problem. What are you doing right now? I need to hang out with someone who's not frustrated with me."

"Come on over. I could use some company. Mouth's working til close tonight and Bevin's not talking to me since I won't tell her what's going on."

Brooke jumped into her car and drove to Rachel's which wasn't that far from Peyton's. When she pulled into Rachel's driveway she hoped out of the car and ran up to the door, only to find it open with Rachel standing there smiling at her.

"Hey Rach. Hey baby, how are you today? Auntie Brooke can't wait for your mommy to tell people about you," Brooke said as she talked to her friend's stomach.

"Auntie Brooke?" Rachel asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well yeah. You're not gonna let your kid just call me Brooke are you?"

"I was kidding. Chill out. Of course you're gonna be Auntie Brooke. Even if it's only because you were dating Mouth's best friend."

Brooke pouted.

"I'm kidding. That's only part of the reason. The rest of it is because you've been so amazing through this. You've totally come through for me. Seriously, you're dealing with so much in your own life and yet you seem like you put it all aside the second I told you I'm pregnant. I don't know if I would be able to do something like that. Actually, I know I wouldn't. I'd be too wrapped up in my emotions to even notice that someone else needed help."

"No, you wouldn't. Rach, you make yourself sound like a self-centered bitch."

"But I am."

"You are not."

"Yes."

"Oh, I'm so not doing this with you."

Rachel laughed. She knew it was crazy but sometimes pretending to be a little kid was fun. The two girls walked into the house and went up to Rachel's room. It was the only place in the house that Rachel could go to without her little brother, Blake, bothering her. Or Brooke for that matter, who Blake made it well known he thought was hott. Which totally creeped Rachel and Brooke out because Blake is only 12.

"Blake's not here. He's playing ball at the River Court," Rachel told Brooke as she shut her bedroom door.

"Thank god," Brooke laughed.

"Yeah. He's been driving me crazy. Always asking me when I'm gonna hook you two up and anything else he can think of to piss me off. I swear he used to be cute but then you walked into this house and it's like a monster came out."

"Sorry. Didn't mean to take away the brother you loved and replace him with "Brooke-obsessed" Blake."

"Don't worry about it. No offense, but I don't think you're his type anyway. He doesn't go for smart cheerleaders. He goes for the stupid ones."

"Oh good. Then I guess we don't have to worry about that one. But he doesn't stand a chance anyway. Even if he was older, my heart is taken."

"I know it is. How are you doing lately anyway? We haven't talked much about Lucas. It's mostly been about me and the baby."

"That's okay. I like it better that way."

"Brooke, you can't lie. You hate listening to me talk about the baby, I know you do. If you didn't hate it you wouldn't cry or try so hard to hide the tears all the time. I'm sorry if it's making you upset."

"It's okay Rachel. It's hard but I promised to be there for you and I'm not gonna let my emotions get in the way. I'll be okay, you just focus on keeping you and that baby healthy. Don't worry about me."

"I can't help it. I worry about you because you're my friend. And I know what's coming in a couple weeks."

"Oh yeah, trust me I know too. And I can honestly say, I'm not looking forward to it. Because after Luke's birthday, like three days would have been our one year anniversary. So after the Classic, it's probably gonna be downhill for me for a little while."

"I know you're not looking forward to those couple days Brooke but you'll get through them. Even if I have to make sure of it personally, I'll do or not do whatever you need."

"Thanks Rachel."

"You're welcome. Hey, why don't we get Haley and Peyton to meet us at the mall? Peyton wants to know what's up and I'm pretty sure Haley does too. So might as well get it over with together."

"Okay."

Ten minutes later, Brooke was driving her and Rachel to the mall. They were meeting Peyton and Haley there. As they got closer to the door to enter the mall Rachel was beginning to think it was a bad idea and tried to turn around.

"Come on, Rachel. They're gonna know soon enough anyway. You might as well just get it over with now," Brooke urged her.

"I know but I don't wanna cause a big scene if one of them screams. And you know one of them is bound to. My money's on Haley," Rachel replied.

"Good choice but I don't think she's gonna get too loud in a public place. Let's go."

Two minutes later they walked in to find Peyton and Haley waiting for them.

"Okay, so you wanted us to meet you so you could tell us what's up. We're here, what's up?" Peyton asked anxiously.

"Peyton," Brooke snapped.

"What?"

"Chill. This isn't exactly ideal."

"Brooke, I got this. Thanks though," Rachel interfered.

"Sure, no problem."

"Rachel, what's going on? It's driving me crazy that my husband knows and suddenly knows how to keep a secret," Haley asked with a half smile.

"Well I'm sorry he learned to keep a secret now but not really," Rachel laughed.

"So? What's the story?"

"I'm pregnant."

"And?" Haley and Peyton asked in unison.

"What do you mean and?" Rachel asked them.

"Who's the father?" Peyton finished.

"Mouth."

"WHAT!" Haley blew up.

"Hales!" Brooke said calmly.

"What?" she asked quieter.

"Nothing, never mind."

"Mouth is the father? Are you sure? Wait a second, Mouth's not a virgin? Oh god, I so don't even wanna think about that," Haley rambled.

"Yes I'm sure. Like I told Brooke, and I'm sure this will shock the two of you more than it did her, but he's the only guy in Tree Hill I've slept with," Rachel said.

"You're serious?" Peyton said, shocked.

"Yes. Why is it so hard to believe I'm not the town slut everyone thinks I am? What the hell did I do to deserve that?"

"Rachel, don't do this here. Come on. You said you didn't wanna cause a big thing in here. If you push this you'll be the one to instigate it. Don't get into this here," Brooke said gently.

"No, if I'm gonna do this I'm gonna do it now."

"You wanna know what you did to deserve that?" Peyton challenged.

"Ya, I would so spill it."

"You came in and tried to steal Lucas from Brooke and when that didn't work you moved on to Skills and then Mouth. That's pretty slutty."

"I didn't do anything with Skills. I don't care if you don't believe me."

Rachel didn't say anything else before turning on her heels and running out of the mall. Telling Peyton had proven to be a big mistake. And she was pretty sure that once Haley was over the shock, telling her would prove to be a mistake too. Brooke turned to run after Rachel. Peyton watched in anger as her best friend chased after the girl that was ruining everything in her life.

"Rachel wait up!" Brooke called after her friend.

'Why? So you can call me a slut too?" Rachel shot back.

"Rachel! Stop. Now."

"What?" Rachel turned around to reveal the tears on her cheeks.

"You know I'm not gonna call you slut. You know I don't think that way about you. Come here."

Rachel walked closer to Brooke who held her arms out, allowing Rachel to fall into the embrace. As she did, the redhead choked on a sob. Her and Peyton weren't great friends but they were usually civil to each other. Well, okay, they tried for the sake of the cheerleading squad but it really hurt Rachel to have Peyton call her a slut.

"You are not a slut. Anyone who says that should be slapped and I'll take care of Peyton. She can't get away with that. I don't know who thinks she is. That girl in there, that's not my best friend. My best friend doesn't say shit like that about my other friends. She knows better," Brooke said as they continued walking toward her car.

"Haley didn't say much but that still worries me," Rachel said.

"Yeah, I think she's waiting though. For what I'm not sure but she better not blow up this weekend because I will kick her ass if she does."

"No, Haley's not stupid. She knows how much the Classic means to you. She's not gonna do anything to mess up your weekend. And if she were to try, I would just ignore her. Cause I know what this weekend means for you too and I don't wanna ruin it either. Okay, I don't wanna talk about this anymore."

Meanwhile, Haley and Peyton were still in the mall. They were walking around talking about how things were different with Brooke. She seemed to enjoy spending time with Rachel over them and while it didn't hurt Haley as much, it was killing Peyton.

"Hales, it's not fair. She's my best friend but she tells Rachel more than she tells me now. It's like I don't have a best friend anymore. Or that she's traded me for Rachel. And I can't even bring this up to her because anytime I try she brushes it off with "you're still my best friend, P. Sawyer" or "stop worrying" but I can't take it anymore! I get that she misses Lucas but changing friends because of it? Come on! That's ridiculous," Peyton ranted.

"Peyton, you're the one who's being ridiculous. You accused Rachel of being a slut because you're mad at her for taking Brooke from you. At least that's how you see it. But come on, you know that Brooke's not changing friends. You know her better than that! I'm not gonna deny the fact that it sucks that she'll talk to Rachel more but have you stopped to think that maybe she has a good reason for going to Rachel instead of you? Of course you haven't. You remember what it feels like to lose someone you love. Cut her some slack. I'm sorry if that's harsh but god Peyton grow up. Whatever Brooke's doing is helping her get through losing Lucas and I dunno about you but I'm glad to see her smile. I don't care what put the smile there or who I'm just glad it's there," Haley snapped.

She had spent the last few weeks listening to Peyton bitch about how Brooke didn't talk to her anymore but Peyton didn't seem to be talking to Brooke either. But Haley wasn't supposed to bring that up. Apparently Peyton could do no wrong and only Brooke was being immature.

"What so you're taking Brooke's side?"

"I'm not taking anyone's side. What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you acting like this?"

"You're kidding right? Have you heard a word I said?"

"Yes, I've heard everything for the past two weeks. And you know what? I'm sick of it. Telling me isn't gonna fix a damn thing. If you want things to change, talk to Brooke and I don't wanna hear that you've tried because that's bullshit and you know it."

"Fine, whatever. I don't need you anyway."

Peyton turned around and made her way to the exit. Haley didn't bother following her. She was in a mood so there was no talking to her anyway. Not that Haley wanted to continue the conversation they were having. She watched until she couldn't see Peyton any longer. Just as she was about to turn around and walk down to the music store Haley remembered the Classic.

"Shit the Classic is this weekend. We're not supposed to fight all weekend," Haley said to herself as she turned on her heels in hopes of catching up to Peyton.

When Haley got outside though, there was no sign of Peyton anywhere. She swore under her breath as she grabbed her cell phone and called Peyton.

"What do you want?" Peyton snapped when she answered the phone.

"Look, I'm sorry I yelled at you but we need to work this out before the Classic because you know what Brooke said. No drama which means we can't be fighting and you can't still be pissed at her or mean to Rachel," Haley replied.

"Whatever. I don't care about the Classic. I'm not going. She doesn't need me there, she'll have Rachel."

"Peyton! Grow up. You know she needs you there. She needs us all there. This isn't about you and your petty jealousy of Rachel. This about Brooke's last shot at first place in the Classic. Do you really wanna be the one to screw that up for her? If you don't go you will be."

"How? If I'm not there I can't screw anything up."

"By not being there you'd screw up the whole routine."

"Okay, fine. I'll go but I'm not apologizing to anyone. And that includes you."

"Nice, Peyton."

Haley didn't bother waiting for a response before she hung up. This was getting on her nerves. She really didn't wanna walk home from the mall so she opened her phone again to call Nathan.

"Hey baby, where are you?" Haley asked him.

"I'm at home. What's up?" Nathan replied.

"Can you pick me up? I'm at the mall and Peyton ditched me. Or more like she stormed off without me after I bitched her out."

"I don't think I wanna know."

"Brooke called and said that Rachel wanted to tell us something so we decided to meet at the mall. Anyway, Rachel told us about the baby and then Peyton called her a slut, she stormed off, Brooke followed her and that set Peyton off for God knows what reason and then I screamed at her. So basically it's a vicious circle and the only person who's truly pissed seems to be Peyton."

"I'm on my way."

"Thank you babe."

"You're welcome."

By Friday afternoon Peyton still wasn't talking to Haley and she hadn't talked to Brooke or Rachel either. Brooke was freaking out about the Classic and Rachel was leaning toward staying home now.

"Mouth, you have to make her go. I need her to go. If she doesn't go I won't have a full squad and without a full squad my dance will be screwed up. Please, talk to her. Remind her that she promised to be there for this," Brooke pleaded desperately.

Brooke was fighting the tears. She really didn't wanna cry over this but the thought of Rachel bailing at the last minute was stressing her out and she wasn't sure how long she could hold back the tears.

"If Rachel's not feeling up to it, then she really shouldn't go Brooke. I'm sorry. I can't make her go. It might not be safe for her and the baby. Please understand that I want you to do well this weekend but I have to look out for the best interest of the baby at the same time I have to be aware of Rachel's best interest. It's nothing personal," Mouth replied.

"She promised me Mouth! She said that the baby wasn't gonna keep her out of the Classic. I need her to remember that. This can't happen to me, not this year. This is my last shot to win the Classic."

"Maybe we shouldn't go," Bevin said cautiously.

"What did you just say?" Brooke asked as she spun on her heels, staring Bevin in the eye.

"Maybe we shouldn't go?"

"And why not? Because Rachel is having second thoughts about going? Absolutely not, we're going. With or without Rachel but if it's without there's no way we're gonna win. No Rachel means new routine and we don't have time to think of, learn and memorize a new routine. Besides, I like the one we have. It's hot. We have to go and we have to kick Claire Young's ass."

"I'll talk to her again Brooke but if she says no, that's it. You're gonna have to find a way to win without Rachel," Mouth said.

"Thank you!" Brooke squealed.

Mouth nodded his head as he turned around to find his girlfriend. He really didn't wanna tell Brooke the reason Rachel was having second thoughts about the Classic was because he was nervous about it. But after listening to Brooke beg him, he knew that he had to give in and let Rachel go. Brooke did promise to watch out for her and make sure nothing happened and Mouth knew that she was a woman of her word. One weekend couldn't be all that bad, could it? Mouth hoped not as he spotted Rachel talking to Bevin and Teresa.

"Hey ladies," he said with a smile as he draped an arm around Rachel's waist.

"Hey hun," Rachel said as she turned to kiss Mouth.

"Aww," Bevin and Teresa said at the same time.

"Listen, I need to talk to you for a second about this weekend," Mouth said seriously.

"Okay? I thought you didn't want me to go and that I was gonna stay home. Unless, you talked to Brooke and she's completely freaked out?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah. I talked to Brooke and she's completely freaked out. She begged me to tell you that you have to go because you promised and without you her dance is messed up because it's messed up if she doesn't have a full squad."

"So you're coming over here to tell me that you changed your mind and I should go this weekend?"

"Yes. Just please, be careful. I don't want anything to happen to you or the baby. Okay?"

"Okay. I'll be careful. I was planning on it anyway. Now are you gonna tell Brooke that I'm going or do you want me to tell her?"

"I'll go tell her. I don't want her jumping on you, which she probably would."

Rachel laughed. Mouth was probably right, if she told Brooke that she was gonna go with her to the Classic, there was no telling what Brooke might do. It was no secret that this was the biggest weekend of Brooke's year, so to have an entire squad would mean everything to her.

"Well? Is she coming or not?" Brooke asked when Mouth approached her.

"You'll have a full squad," Mouth said.

Brooke squealed as she threw her arms around Mouth. That was exactly what she wanted to hear. She felt like with a full squad, there was no way they could get any less than first place. Rachel watched from her spot with Bevin and Teresa as Brooke threw her arms around Mouth. She was glad to see that Brooke was happy about her decision. Maybe sometime during the Classic Rachel would tell Brooke that it was because of Mouth's insistence that she almost wasn't gonna go. Then again maybe she wouldn't. It didn't matter now because Rachel would be there and that was good enough.


	9. Chapter 9

The Classic had just finished up and the Tree Hill Ravens cheerleaders were full of energy and excitement. It had finally happened, Brooke's squad came in first place. Sure it helped that Claire Young and her squad hadn't shown up this year but it still felt good. Everything she had set out to do this weekend had been accomplished. Brooke was going back to Tree Hill the most decorated captain in the school's history. Along with the first place trophy for the performance of the routine, Brooke was bringing home a trophy for best original choreography, most improved squad, and best captain.

"Rach, you take this one," Brooke said as she tried to give the "best captain" trophy to her friend.

"No way. You earned it, its yours," Rachel said as she pushed the trophy back toward Brooke.

"But you helped so much and stepped into some big shoes."

"Yeah, well that's because you are the best captain the Tree Hill Ravens cheerleading squad has ever seen. I'm not taking that trophy even if you don't."

"Fine."

Rachel couldn't help but laugh. She'd never seen anyone try to get rid of a trophy like that before. Especially not when the person who didn't want it was so deserving. And Rachel absolutely believed that Brooke was the most deserving of that trophy, as did the rest of the squad. Brooke truly was the best captain. She gave it her all or not at all 100 percent of the time. That's just the kind of dedication Brooke had for her squad and the sport.

"Come on girls, we have to get our stuff together. The bus leaves in 20 minutes. Let's move!" Brooke said as she turned to go back into the hotel.

The rest of the girls followed behind her and went to get their stuff to put it on the bus. Nobody was as excited to get back to Tree Hill as Rachel. Mouth was taking her out to dinner when they got back and she wanted him to see that everything had gone well for her and the baby over the weekend. Brooke had watched out for her as promised and she didn't go crazy like she would have if she weren't pregnant. As soon as she had her bags on the bus Rachel took out her cell phone.

"Hey, I miss you," she said.

"I miss you too," Mouth replied.

"Baby misses you too."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yup. But not half as much as I do."

"Well I'm glad to hear you in such high spirits."

"Of course I am. This weekend was amazing. I definitely think it was the best Classic I've ever been too. And that's saying something cause Peyton has been pissed at me all weekend and I'm not sure if she actually talked to Brooke or not. I couldn't get that out of Brooke but whatever, I'm not gonna worry about it."

"Well I'm glad you enjoyed your weekend. How's Brooke doing?"

"She's been bubbly all weekend. I think the Classic was just what she needed to lift her spirits. It might change now that we're getting ready to come back. Unfortunately now, with the Classic over the next thing that's coming is Lucas' birthday and then what should have been their one-year anniversary. I just hope she gets through both in one piece."

"She will. It might be a tearful piece but it will be one piece just the same. As long as we stay positive and watch out for her everything should be okay. I won't say fine because that's stretching it too far. But I think Brooke will be okay."

"What about Haley and Nathan? And Karen? They're all gonna be a mess on Luke's birthday too. Oh gosh, and you. Mouth! He was your best friend, too."

"Rach, I know. It's okay. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. I'm more concerned with how the girls and Nathan are gonna get through the day. It won't be easy for any of us but my focus is gonna be on them."

"Tell Mouth I said hey," Brooke said with a smile as she passed by Rachel with her bags.

"Brooke says hey, babe," Rachel said as she smiled but at Brooke.

"Tell her hey for me too," Mouth replied.

"I will hang on." Rachel put her hand over the receiver and took it away from her ear.

"Brooke! Mouth says hey back," she yelled.

"Okay," Brooke responded.

"I'm back," Rachel told Mouth.

"Cool. I hate to do this but I gotta run. I'm helping Keith at the shop right now and Skills just came in. Call me when you get to Tree Hill."

"I will. I love you."

"I love you too."

Rachel closed her phone and smiled as she climbed onto the bus. Brooke was already there and to Rachel's surprise she was talking to Peyton. _I guess Blondie got over herself. It's about time_ Rachel thought to herself as she joined Bevin toward the back of the bus.

"Hey, friend. How's Mouth?" Bevin asked.

"Good. He's working right now but he's good. I can't wait to get home and see him," Rachel gushed happily.

"Yeah, you gotta tell him how much we kicked ass this weekend."

"Make sure you thank him for me again," Brooke said as she turned around to join in the conversation.

"I will," Rachel replied.

Brooke nodded as she turned back to Peyton. She was desperately trying to keep her mind off the fact that Lucas' birthday was coming and what would have been their one-year anniversary. She didn't want to spend all her time crying, she wanted to enjoy the fact that her squad finally reached the goal she had set by coming in first place.

"Luke I wish you could have been here to see this. God I miss you," Brooke whispered under her breath.

"Oh, Brookie, I know it's hard. But I also know that Luke would have been so proud of you," Peyton said as she wrapped an arm around Brooke's shoulders and squeezed.

"I know he would have been but it doesn't mean the same to me if I can't hear him say it. I should be getting off this bus and running into his waiting arms. But I can't do that. I can never do that again. I'll never hear him say again he's proud of me or anything at all. I'll never hear him say he loves me because Jimmy is a fucking bastard who just had to take Luke away from me."

"You're right, Jimmy is a bastard but you know that Luke wouldn't want you to be like this. He would want you to be happy and enjoy the fact that the Classic was amazing and that we got first place this year. Wouldn't he?"

"Yeah, he would. But it's not the same without him. Peyton you don't know how hard this is for me. I mean, Jake's not dead he just left town."

"I don't know what it's like to lose people I love? Brooke have you forgotten I've said good-bye to not one but two mothers? How many people do you know have had to deal with that? Oh right, only one. Me! Don't tell me I don't know what it's like because I do. Maybe I don't know what it's like to lose the love of your life but I do know what it's like to lose someone you love because I've been there."

Haley, who had been sitting toward the back of the bus with Bevin got up and moved to the front where Brooke and Peyton were fighting. She squeezed into the sit next to them and laid a hand on Brooke's shoulder.

"Look, this is hard for everyone. Peyton, you know that Brooke knows you've lost two mothers but I don't think it's fair to compare your loss to hers. That's not gonna make either one of you feel good. We're all dealing with a loss here," Haley said gently.

"You think I don't know that Haley? Give me a break. I'm trying here but every time I say something, you or Rachel come running over and try to undo it all and make me feel bad for trying," Peyton snapped.

"Will you two shut up! I know you wanna help me but there's nothing any of you can do to help. Luke is dead and he's never coming back. I don't know why you think you can make me forget that or why you're even trying. Peyton, stop screaming at Haley and Haley, stop making Peyton feel like shit for trying," Brooke yelled.

Rachel, who was talking to Teresa, jerked her head up when she heard Brooke yelling at Peyton and Haley. This wasn't how their weekend should be ending. She stood up and walked to their seat and crouched down in the aisle next to them.

"What the hell is going on over here?" she asked looking between Peyton and Haley before she glanced at Brooke.

"Nothing, we have it under control," Peyton said.

"Really? Then why is Brooke yelling at both of you?"

"Oh and she's never yelled at you for anything?"

"Not when it comes to Lucas. Do you two not understand why she hardly talks to either of you about any of this?"

Peyton and Haley both shook their heads. Brooke was silent but her face was tense. This wasn't gonna be pretty but she couldn't stop Rachel. This was her thing.

"Brooke doesn't talk to you because this is what happens. You fight or make each other feel like shit or even worse, you make Brooke cry because you rub it in her face or you try to make her feel bad for missing the one person in her life who was always there for her. Even when other people tried to take him away from her. Just stop," Rachel said before standing up and going back to her seat.

"What the hell was that?" Peyton asked.

"I have no idea," Haley said.

"That was Rachel. She was just trying to help. I know you both mean well but I can't take you clamping down on me at the slightest show of sadness in my voice or whatever. It's too much, it's too…Luke," Brooke said somberly.

"Brooke, I'm sorry I didn't mean" Peyton started

"Don't, Peyton. It's not gonna change anything. I know you didn't mean anything but that doesn't change the fact I feel this way."

Peyton looked at the floor. She felt terrible for making Brooke feel this way and for making her miss Lucas more. That had never been her intention and yet that was exactly what happened. She continued to stare at the floor until the bus pulled into the parking lot.

"Oh great, everyone's got someone waiting for them. Everyone except me," Brooke mumbled as she looked out the window to see Nathan, Mouth, Skills and Larry standing on the curb waiting for them.

"Brooke," Haley said softly.

"No, Haley. Don't do it, don't say that you're sorry there's nobody outside waiting for me. It's not gonna change anything."

"How can you say there's no one out there for you when everyone out there loves you?"

"No, they don't love me. Not like Luke did. That's the only love I want right now."

Peyton rolled her eyes, which of course, Brooke saw and that made her mad.

"What the hell was that for Peyton?" she snapped.

"Nothing," Peyton replied.

"Don't you lie to me. I swear to god Peyton, I don't know why you think you have to lie to me. I'm not an idiot. Why did you just roll your eyes?"

"You're being overdramatic don't you think? Hales is right. Nathan, Skills and Mouth all love you. Maybe it's not the same as Luke loving you but at least it's there."

"Overdramatic? I'm missing my boyfriend and you have the nerve to call me overdramatic? You have gotta be kidding me!"

"No, I'm not kidding. You're acting like just because Lucas is out there that no one out there cares about you. That's crap and you know it."

Brooke had had enough. She was stuck in the middle but she nudged Haley out of her way and stormed off the bus to get her stuff. She couldn't take it anymore. Peyton had really hit a nerve and now she wanted to go home and hide in her bedroom. It didn't matter if Peyton or Rachel or Haley or even Nathan tried to come in the house, it wasn't happening tonight. Brooke wanted to be alone and there was nothing any of them could about it.

Just as she was about to get in her car and drive off, Rachel and Mouth came over to talk to her.

"Hey, why you running off without saying good-bye?" Rachel asked sweetly.

"I'm sorry Rach. Peyton and Haley were just getting to me and I just wanna go home. I didn't mean anything by it. I promise," Brooke replied as she looked at her car and back at Rachel anxiously.

"All right, I get it. Don't mope too long. Remember, we kicked ass this weekend. Seriously, it's gonna fine. You'll see."

"I wish I believed it Rach but just thinking about the fact that everyone else had someone waiting specifically for them today except for me was like a slap in the face. I'll never have that again. And it hurts more than you could ever know. I'm sure of it. Because as long as you have Mouth you'll always have someone waiting for you and once the baby is born you'll have two someones waiting."

"If you wish you believed it, then change it and believe it because I have faith in your ability to get through this."

"Thanks Rachel but I dunno."

"She's right Brooke, you can do this. Just stay positive and remember that life didn't end for you it's just really different," Mouth said.

"But it did end Mouth. Everything I dreamt of is gone. Everything I dreamt of doing, everything I dreamt of having will never happen. It's all gone and taken away with one bullet in the chest of the man I love with my whole being. This is just too much. I wanna be able to show him the trophies from this weekend and tell him all about it. I want to hear him say he's proud of me for everything I accomplished this weekend but I don't get that. You can tell Rachel you're proud of her. Nathan can say it to Haley. Skills can say it to Bevin. But me…I don't get to hear that from the guy I love. My parents won't even say it because they don't give a damn about me. Karen and Keith will probably say it but only because they'll feel bad that Luke can't say it. I can't do this anymore. It's too much."

Mouth smiled sadly at Brooke as he pulled her into a hug. It was breaking his heart to see Brooke this way. He knew it was still really hard on her to have lost Lucas but up until that moment he thought she was doing better dealing with it. Clearly, as he held her in his arms, that was not the case. In fact, Mouth almost felt like she was doing worse than before the girls had left for the Classic two days ago.

Meanwhile, Haley and Nathan watched from their car as Brooke fell to pieces in the arms of a guy who wasn't Lucas. Haley could feel the tears welling up in her eyes as she continued to watch. She wanted so much for Brooke's pain to go away but nothing she could say would ever bring him back or take the hurt away. Nathan stood there wishing he could bring Jimmy back to life long enough to kill him again for causing Brooke so much heartache. Sure, he still missed Lucas all the time but dealing with it wasn't as hard for him as it was for Brooke. At least not anymore. Slowly, Nathan was getting through his days a little easier.

"Nathan, look at her. She's falling apart again. Maybe she should have skipped the Classic," Haley said as a tear slid down her cheek.

"Do you really think she would have missed it? Come on, Brooke lives for the Classic. It's the one weekend a year she can show off her talents as a cheerleader and wow a room full of people. She wouldn't miss that for the world. Maybe it wasn't the best thing for her to go but it would have been worse for her to miss it. She would have spent the entire weekend moping and saying she should have gone with you guys. So in theory, Brooke not going to the Classic would have been a great idea but in reality that never would have been an option. I guarantee if anyone had suggested it to her she would have flipped out and called them crazy. She needs to get back into a normal routine and for Brooke, going to the Classic every year is part of that normal routine. Luke would have wanted her to go too. I know it's hard watching her fall apart again but it's probably just because she saw that most of the girls had someone waiting here for them and the realization that Lucas could never do that for her again whacked her in the gut. I'm sure once she's all cried out tonight she'll be okay at least for a couple days," Nathan said as they got in the car and headed to their apartment.

"You really think she's gonna be okay that soon?"

"Of course I don't. I want to believe it though. I want to believe that my sister-in-law is that strong and normally she is but when it comes to Lucas and dealing with life without him, she's anything but strong. No matter how strong she pretends to be. Someday, whether she believes it or not right now, she's gonna meet a guy that makes her wanna fall in love and she will let go of Lucas and take off that ring. But I don't know when that'll happen."

"No, I don't think so. She's never gonna take that ring off. Her heart is Lucas' forever."

"Not her whole heart. I know you think I'm crazy but I believe that Brooke will realize that it's okay to let go and give her heart to someone else someday. She knows that Lucas doesn't want her to be stuck on her love for him forever. And while she'll always love him, I think she'll get married."

Haley shook her head. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Nathan really thought that Brooke would just forget about her feelings for Lucas and marry someone else. She couldn't see that happening. Or maybe she didn't want to see that happening because if she did then that would mean Lucas was really and truly never coming back.

"No, she can't. If she does, that means Luke is really never coming back."

"Hales, he's already never coming back. Brooke's future with a guy or not doesn't hold any effect on that."

"I know but considering the possibility of Brooke taking off that engagement ring because she's in love with someone else is more than I can stand to think about right now."

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to upset you Hales. It's just that I don't want to see Brooke miserable without my brother for the rest of her life. But if she doesn't eventually realize it's okay to let go and move on, that's all she'll ever be. And Luke wouldn't want that for her. He would hate to see her living her life in complete misery.

Brooke pulled into her driveway and was surprised to see her parents' car there. She grumbled as she shut off the engine and got out to get her stuff from the trunk. _Great the one time I want them to not be here, they are. What the hell is with that? _Brooke thought to herself as she walked up to the front door.

"Hello," she called timidly as she shut the door behind her.

"Brooke, darling, where have you been?" Julie Davis asked as she came down the stairs.

"I was in Charlotte for a cheerleading competition. But I didn't know you'd care."

"Why wouldn't I care?"

"Because you've never cared before. You and Dad are never home. It's like I live on my own."

"Well I'm glad to hear you feel that way because as of next week none of us will be living in this house."

"Wha…what? Why not?"

"Your father got a promotion."

"So?"

"So, we're moving. And you're not staying here. I don't care what kind of fight you put up. It's not happening. You're 17 years old you don't get to tell your father and I where you live. We tell you and I'm telling you right now, you're not staying in Tree Hill."

"Actually, I'm almost 18 so I can just leave again after my birthday or get Karen to let me stay with her and Keith."

"You think I'm gonna let you stay in a house with your boyfriend? Do I look naïve to you?"

"Wow, you really don't pay attention, do you."

"What are you talking about?"

"Lucas is dead. He has been. For two goddamn months. I told you that when it happened. Why, I have no idea cause you obviously didn't listen."

"Brooke! Do not speak to your mother that way," James Davis snapped as he entered the living room.

"Well it's not my fault neither of you bother paying any attention to me. I'm just your daughter, no big deal. I thought you'd wanna know that I lived through the shooting at school but lost my boyfriend. Clearly, I didn't need to bother telling you because you don't seem to remember me telling you about it at all. I don't why I bother," Brooke yelled at her father before running up to her bedroom and slamming the door behind her.

As soon as the door was closed Brooke collapsed on her bed and burst into tears. She twisted the ring on her finger with her right hand until it was off her finger. Wearing it was too much right now. Maybe she'd wear it again but for now, she couldn't do it. It was too much. She grabbed her phone and called Peyton. She needed to talk to someone but Rachel was out of the question and she figured that Haley and Nathan were busy.

"Peyton," she sniffled when she heard her friend answer the phone.

"Brooke, what's wrong?" Peyton asked nervously.

"They came home. They both yelled at me. Apparently, we're moving."

"What? Are you kidding me? You can't move."

"I'm not going anywhere. They can't make me. They lost their right to act as my parents the minute they stopped acknowledging me. I'm gonna stay here. I don't care what they say."

"Stay with me. It'll be just like we used to talk about when we were kids. I know my dad would be fine with it. He's hardly ever around anyway so he'd probably love it that someone he knows and loves was staying with me when he's not here anyway."

"Peyton, no. If I stay here, I'm gonna get my own place. It'll be better that way."

"Please, Brooke."

"No, really, I need to be on my own."

"Okay. I guess so."

"Don't be like that. It's not that I don't wanna stay with you, I just think I need to be on my own. Get out there and do this thing on my own."

"Brooke, you're practically on your own already."

"Don't make this harder Peyt. Look I just thought you should know my parents are here so it's gonna be like walking on eggshells in this house for who knows how long."

Just then Brooke heard the front door close and then the car start up.

"Never mind, they're gone again. They must have only been here for the weekend."

"Oh okay. Well find out more about this whole moving thing and keep me posted."

"Of course. Talk to you later."

"Love you."

"Love you too."

Brooke closed her phone and made her way back downstairs. She was hoping that maybe her parents had left her a note or something so she'd at least have some idea of where they had gone this time. Much to her surprise when she walked into the kitchen there was a note on the counter, along with some cash. She couldn't help but smile as she shook her head. Leave it to James to think he could buy her off when they made her mad.

Brooke- 

_Going to Europe. Be back next week. Use the money to get some food and other necessities. _

_-Mom and Dad_

Brooke couldn't help but laugh. Did they really think that she didn't have enough money on her own to make sure she had food and other essentials? She might be a shopaholic but she was no fool. It didn't seem right to her that her parents had maids and cooks but she was the only in the house on a regular basis so she relieved them of their duties and took care of the cooking and cleaning and shopping on her own. It wasn't that hard and she rather enjoyed having to be responsible in this way.

She glanced up at the calendar on the wall next to the fridge, her heart caught in her throat as she saw the words "Luke's birthday" written in pink with a heart around it and then three days later "Broody and Cheery one year". Tears slid down her cheek as she kissed her finger tips and laid them on the calendar. The next week was gonna be a tough one for Brooke. She took a bottle of water out of the fridge before going back to her room.


	10. Chapter 10

**May 23, 2006. **Brooke had been staring at the calendar for at least ten minutes. She couldn't believe that today was Lucas' birthday. She didn't want to believe it. It was only 9:15 AM and the phone had already rung three different times. Each time it was someone different on the other end. First it was Peyton, then Rachel and the last one-the one Brooke really wasn't looking forward to today-was Haley.

"Brooke are you coming over to Karen's today?" Haley asked.

"No. It's too much. I'm sorry, Haley. Tell Karen I love her, I just can't do it. Not today," Brooke replied hoarsely.

"Please? Just for a little while."

"I can't. There's something else I need to do."

"Okay. But call me if you need anything. I can come hang out with you for a while or I can send Nathan."

"I'll be okay alone. Bye Hales."

"Bye Tigger."

Brooke put the phone down and kept staring at the calendar. As she sat there staring, Brooke let her mind wander back to before Lucas was dead.

Brooke and Lucas were lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Lucas was rubbing the back of Brooke's hand with his thumb. Neither of them said a word for a good ten minutes until finally, Lucas couldn't take the silence any longer.

_"I'm gonna make you my wife someday," he said simply with a smile._

_"What did you just say?" Brooke stammered. _

_That was the last thing she had expected to hear him say to her. Not that she didn't love it, it had just caught her completely off guard. _

_"I'm gonna marry you, Brooke Davis. You're the only one I could ever love."_

_"I love you too Luke."_

_"So, what do you say? Will you marry me?" _

_"I'm not saying yes til I see a ring."_

_"I figured as much. That's why we're going ring shopping. Come on."_

_"You can't be serious. Luke, we're only 17."_

_"Oh but I am, Pretty Girl."_

_"Oh god, you are serious."_

_Lucas nodded as he stood up and then offered Brooke his hand so she could get off the bed too. _

Brooke's hand flew to her mouth as she realized the ring she had been wearing was the one she picked out that day. She couldn't help but laugh despite the tears that were now in her eyes. Brooke thought back to how she had tried everything to make Lucas give her the ring that day but he wouldn't do it.

_"Okay, you have the ring. You can ask me now," Brooke said as her and Lucas left the mall holding hands._

_"No I can't," Lucas replied._

_"Why not?"_

_"You're expecting it. I'm gonna ask you when you least expect it."_

_"Please, Luke. I wanna wear it. It's pretty."_

_"Like you. But no."_

_"Please?"_

_"No. I told you, I'm gonna ask when you don't see it coming. By the time I ask you won't even remember I have the ring at all."_

_"I'll never be able to forget that ring, Broody."_

_"We'll see about that."_

Brooke reached up to brush the tears away. He had been right, she had forgotten about the ring. Even when Karen gave it to her Brooke didn't remember that she had been the one who picked it out.

"You were right, Broody. I forgot about the ring. I can't believe I did that. I'm sorry you were right," Brooke cried.

She grabbed her keys and purse and left the house. She had been telling the truth when she told Haley she had to take care of some stuff. Brooke's first stop was going to be the cemetery. She had a card for Lucas and she didn't see any reason not to take it to his grave. It was still his birthday even if he was dead. Brooke had taped something inside the card, it was a sonogram. Apparently she was pregnant but had been so grief stricken that she didn't think twice about how sick she had been feeling for the past two months. That was, until she started gaining weight out of nowhere. Along with the sonogram, Brooke wrote a message in the card for Lucas. It read:

_Broody,_

_Happy birthday baby. You would have been 18 today. I miss you so much. I would have told you sooner but I only just found out myself. I'm pregnant, there's a picture of our baby in here for you. You'll never be alone now. Our baby can watch over you when I can't be here. I love you. Happy birthday, Daddy. _

_Love,_

_Cheery_

Brooke also wrote "Gift from Heaven" underneath sonogram. When she reached the cemetery, Brooke saw Karen, Keith, Haley and Nathan walking away from Lucas' grave. She held the card tightly in her hand as she walked toward them, her attention focused solely on reaching Lucas' grave.

"Brooke," Karen said softly.

"Hi," Brooke replied meekly.

Brooke really wasn't sure what to say next. She knew she couldn't ask Karen how she was doing. The answer was obvious just knowing the significance of the day. The pain was etched in Karen's expression like stone. Brooke didn't dare mention the baby to Karen, not today. She knew it was going to break Karen's heart as it was, there was no need to add to the pain of the already agonizing day.

"Come to the house later. We're going to watch some home movies of when Lucas was a little boy," Karen said hopefully.

"I don't know Karen. I'll see if I'm up to it," Brooke answered as she kicked the dirt in front of her.

Karen nodded. She had suspected Brooke might not be so eager to join them after Haley told her of Brooke's plan to spend the day alone. She could only hope that Brooke would change her mind.

Just then, Haley and Nathan walked over to join Karen, Brooke and Keith. Brooke felt like her heart had been ripped out of her chest and stomped on when she saw how red and puffy both Nathan's and Haley's eyes were. If she couldn't go to Karen's for herself or for Karen, she should go for them.

"Brooke," Haley choked out.

The two girls embraced in a tight hug as tears from both their eyes. Nathan stood back a minute before walking over and wrapping Haley and Brooke into a tight embrace and cried with them.

"I miss him so much," Brooke cried.

"We all do Brooke. We all miss him but he would want us to be happy. He wouldn't want us to cry for him. Not today. Not on his birthday. He would want us to celebrate his life and who he was," Nathan said softly as he wiped the tears from his eyes.

"I know. But it's hard not to. Every bone in my body wishes I could smile at the memory of Luke but I can't bring myself to do it. I've tried so hard but it doesn't seem to matter. The tears just keep coming and overpowering my ability to smile through the pain. I've never felt so shitty in my whole life. Not even all the times Luke kissed Peyton behind my back."

"Of course this hurts more. Because you wanna know something. If it didn't hurt more I'd be worried that something was really wrong Brooke," Haley said.

"No, there's something you don't understand Hales. Can I talk to you alone for a minute?"

"Of course."

Nathan, Karen and Keith left the girls alone and went back to their cars. There was obviously a need for Brooke and Haley to have some time alone, just the girls. None of them except for Brooke had any clue as to why she needed to talk to Haley alone. As they walked along in silence Brooke was worried about how Haley was gonna take this. She knew that telling Karen first would have been the right thing to do but Brooke couldn't make herself do that.

"Brookie, what's going on?" Haley asked worriedly. Brooke had asked to talk to her alone but she wasn't saying anything. It had to be something big but how big, Haley had no idea.

"I'm pregnant," Brooke said just above a whisper.

Haley stopped dead in her tracks. Her worst fear for Brooke had just become a reality with two words. Brooke was pregnant and Lucas was dead. She couldn't imagine what Brooke was feeling. In fact, other than upset that Lucas would never see his child, Haley wasn't even sure how she felt about Brooke being pregnant. But she did know if Lucas was still alive, she would have beaten him up for getting Brooke pregnant in high school.

"Haley?" Brooke asked timidly, "say something. Please."

"I, I don't know what to say. This is the last thing I expected you to say," Haley answered honestly.

"The whole thing shocked me too. I just found out last week when I went to the doctor's office. Apparently I'm already four months pregnant."

"Oh god. You were pregnant when Luke got shot. Brookie, this must be so hard for you. I'm so sorry you have to do this without Luke."

"Me too, Hales, me too."

"Well I know you didn't come here to talk to me so I'm gonna let you be alone. Call me later and please think about coming over to Karen's. It might be good for you," Haley said as she pulled Brooke in for a hug.

"I'll think about it. Bye Hales," Brooke replied as she broke the hug.

Haley gave a small wave goodbye before turning to leave the cemetery. Brooke watched for a minute before making her way toward Lucas' grave. As soon as she sat down, there were tears in her eyes. This was going to be a lot more difficult then she had planned on. Especially since she had yet to say anything and she was already in tears. Carefully she propped the card up against the headstone next to the one that was definitely from Haley.

"Happy birthday, Broody. I hope you're having a blast up there. Wherever you are. I wish you were here so we could celebrate together. But so much more than that I wish you could be here to see our baby. I promise to tell the baby stories about you every single day. Just because you're gone doesn't mean our child can't know Daddy. I'm hoping the baby is a boy and that he grows up to be just like his daddy. But you know what? I'll be happy no matter what because this baby is ours. I'll always have a piece of you. In my heart and in our baby. Haley knows about the baby but I'm not sure what she thinks. I haven't told your mom and Keith yet. I can't do that to them today. That wouldn't be fair. I'm probably gonna have to tell Nathan tonight so Haley doesn't beat me to it. If she hasn't already, I hope he takes the news well. The same with your mom and Keith. I don't wanna tell my parents but it might be the only way they'll agree to let me stay in Tree Hill," Brooke said as she took a deep breath before continuing, "Oh yeah, I haven't told you about that yet, have I? I was so excited to tell you about the Classic that I completely forgot. Anyway, my dad's being transferred to some office in Georgia. I don't wanna leave. My family is here. My life is here. You are here. There's nothing they can do to make me leave this all behind. Tree Hill is my home. Not some crap town in Georgia. There's no possible way I could ever leave Tree Hill. Even when I threatened to before I knew I would never go through with it. I just needed an out. I thought I could run and make myself forget you're dead if I wasn't in Tree Hill but that'll never happen. I can never forget you, Luke. I love you so much. I know you can hear me, wherever you are. We'll be together again someday. Make sure it's nice when I get there. Happy birthday, I love you," Brooke said as tears were cascading down her cheeks.

She kissed her hand and placed it on the headstone before standing up to leave. Looking up to the sky Brooke couldn't help but smile when she spotted a rainbow. It was hard dealing with Lucas being dead today but that made Brooke feel like maybe she could handle it. Maybe. It was still early so there was plenty of time for a change in attitude. As Brooke was getting in her car she saw Mouth and Rachel walking hand in hand toward the entrance to the cemetery. Mouth looked like he was crying and Brooke felt awful for him. Rachel looked like she was trying to keep herself from crying while she tried to console Mouth. Deciding she couldn't watch anymore, Brooke started her car and drove off. She didn't realize where she had driven to until she found herself standing on Karen and Keith's front porch. Nervously Brooke reached over to ring the bell.

She was beginning to have thoughts about waiting to tell Karen and Keith about the baby. Especially now that Haley knew. Just as Brooke was about to give up and go back to her car the front door opened. Brooke smiled weakly at Nathan who had opened the door.

"Hey Brooke. Come on in. Everyone's in the living room," Nathan said with forced enthusiasm.

"Brooke. Oh I'm so glad you're here. Haley told me you didn't think you'd be joining us today. But I knew you would," Karen said as she smiled at the girl who walked into the room behind Nathan.

"Actually, I came over to tell you something," Brooke said nervously.

"What is it? Oh please tell me you're not leaving town. That would break my heart."

"Oh god no. I could never leave Tree Hill but my parents are trying to make me move to Georgia with them. However, I'm not going. But that's not what I wanted to say."

Brooke glanced over at Haley who smiled at her. She took a deep breath before opening her mouth to speak again. The closer she came to actually telling them about the baby the more she wasn't sure she was ready yet.

"Brooke, what is it?" Keith asked gently.

She took another deep breath and out came the words.

"I'm pregnant."

The entire room was silent. Brooke looked around at everyone and she wasn't surprised to see they all had pained expressions on their faces. What surprised her, however, was that the only person with tears in his eyes was Nathan. He walked over to Brooke and hugged her.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"What for?" Brooke asked, completely confused.

"That you have to go through this without Luke. I'll help anyway I can. That baby is my niece or nephew and I want to do something for you. Luke would help Haley if the situation was reversed."

"Thanks Nate."

"You don't have to thank me. You're a part of this family and family sticks together. Well, unless you're my parents then you drive your son out at 16. But that's so not the point right now."

Brooke couldn't help but smile. She had been so afraid of how Nathan was gonna take the news and so far he had been the only one to say anything. Keith was the next one to hug Brooke. She buried her face in his chest and let the tears she had been holding in with Nathan slide down her cheeks.

"Nate's right. You're a part of this family and we will all help you anyway we can. To start with, we need to make sure you stay in Tree Hill. I don't want my grandchild to grow up hundreds of miles away," Keith said, followed shortly with, "I shouldn't be saying grandchild. I'm only 40."

Brooke couldn't help it. She had to laugh at that. A few minutes of silence passed before anyone said anything. This time it was Karen who spoke up. Brooke drew in a breath nervously.

"You're going to be a wonderful mother," was all Karen could say.

She didn't want to say that it was disappointing or that it hurt to know her son would never know he had a child of his own.

"Thank you," Brooke said as she made her way toward Karen and hugged her tightly.

After the two separated Haley walked over and gave Brooke a hug of her own. She couldn't believe her two best friends were going to have a baby and only one of them would ever know the child. Thinking about that broke Haley's heart. She knew that Lucas had wanted to have a family with Brooke someday and now he had one and would never even know it. All because Jimmy Edwards had to bring a gun to school and kill Lucas.

"Luke, I'll take good care of your family for you. I love you buddy," Haley whispered so only Brooke could hear her.

"Thank you Hales. You don't know how much I love you right now," Brooke said softly.

"Does it rival your love for my brother in law?"

"No. Not even close."

"Then I think I do know how much you love me."

Brooke shoved Haley playfully as she stuck her tongue out at her friend. She was beginning to think being with her family was better than being alone on Lucas' birthday. Suddenly it hit her. These people were her family. Not the two people who called themselves her parents. They didn't know anything about family or what it meant to be one.

"Brooke?" Haley said.

"Huh?" Brooke replied.

"We're gonna start watching some movies. Karen wanted to know if you would like to join us?"

"You know what? I'd love to."

Haley smiled as they linked arms and went back into the house and into the living room. Brooke had gone out to the porch to be alone before but she was ready to go back in the house. They each sat on the floor on either side of Nathan. He reached his arms behind him to pull them into a hug. Both girls rested their heads on Nathan's shoulders and waited to be greeted with images of a young Lucas. Little did they know that wasn't what they were about to see. Karen pressed play on the remote and suddenly the five of them were looking at a 17 year old Lucas.

Brooke's eyes were locked on the tv. She could feel the tears pricking the back of her eyes as the tape played. She remembered the day perfectly.

_Brooke had just come back from spending the summer with her half-brother, Ryan, in California. She didn't want to go but when her dad threatened to cut her off financially if she didn't, she agreed. The whole time she was out there Brooke moped around and missed her boyfriend. She was so excited to see him today. More than that, she couldn't wait to be in his arms and feel safe again. Brooke scanned the crowd of people waiting for family and friends. Her eyes lit up when she spotted Lucas standing against a wall, smiling at her, with a bouquet of white roses against his arm. _

_"Broody!" she squealed happily as she ran into his arms, completely oblivious to the fact that she crushed the flowers. _

_"Hey Pretty Girl. I missed you," Lucas said as he kissed her hair and breathed in her shampoo. _

_"I missed you too. Hey, what's your mom doing with that camera over there?"_

_"Huh?"_

_Lucas turned around to see his mom holding a camera with one hand and waving with the other. _

_"Hi, Mom. You're crazy. You do know that don't you?" Lucas asked all the while grinning. _

_"I love you too Lucas," Karen laughed._

_"Aww, Luke, let your mom be. It's cute. Someday when we're old and our children have moved out on their own, we'll watch this and laugh about it," Brooke said._

_"Sure we will."_

Brooke reached up to wipe the tears away. As hard as it was for her to watch that and without Lucas, she was glad that Karen had done that. She looked down at the floor for a minute only to have her head pop right back up when she heard a young Lucas screaming for his mommy. A smile spread across her face as she watched Lucas, who was about five, running away from a little girl Brooke was sure was Haley, who was making kissing noises and chasing after him. Brooke looked over at Haley to make sure she was okay and was relieved to see there weren't any tears.

"I always knew you had a thing for my guy," Brooke teased.

"Shut up. I was only five. And besides that, he always told me that he was gonna marry you, even when we were little. I used to laugh at him but that all stopped last year. You've always been the girl for him," Haley responded.

"Wait a second. You're the one being teased and I'm the one crying. How is that fair?" Brooke asked as she wiped her tears away again.

"That's what you get for teasing me." Haley stuck her tongue out at Brooke who did the same in retaliation.

The five of them sat in Karen and Keith's living room for most of what was left of the day watching the tapes and crying. Even Nathan who didn't usually cry was sobbing when they decided to stop watching the tapes. It was only making them miss Lucas more than they already did.

"Dan doesn't even care," Nathan said suddenly as he continued to cry, "His first born son is gone and he doesn't care. The bastard actually scoffed and called me a baby when I told him what we were doing today." Nathan continued to cry while the girls held him. It broke their hearts to see Nathan falling apart but at the same time they were so relieved to see him let go of his emotions.

"I'm sure he cares Nathan," Karen said softly.

"No. He really doesn't. I heard him tell some city worker or something that he's glad that Luke is dead. How screwed up is that? His first born son is dead and not only does he not care but he's glad. He told the guy that now that Luke is "out of the picture" he can focus solely on helping me. With what I couldn't tell you because if that asshole thinks I'm gonna let him help me with anything he's sadly mistaken. If I didn't have the greatest wife in the world I would kill the bastard and gladly rot in jail for it. I hate him. I wish he was dead!"

"Baby, it's okay. You know Dan's an asshole. He thinks he's glad that Luke is gone but deep down, somewhere in that pitiful form of a man is a heart and in the depths of that heart he wishes he still had both his sons," Haley said softly, hoping that wouldn't upset Nathan anymore.

"I don't think so Hales. Sometimes I think he wishes he didn't have either one of us. We're just pawns in his game. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of him!"

"Nathan stop that," Brooke said feeling herself getting angry. Not at Nathan, but at Dan for making Nathan so upset.

"Stop what? Stop crying because my "father" is an asshole and doesn't even care that my brother is dead? Shut up Brooke! Don't tell me what to do."

Nathan jumped to his feet and stormed out of the house. He slammed the door behind him and the picture of Lucas and Brooke that was in the living room on top of the tv fell to the floor, glass shattering everywhere.

Brooke felt tears welling up in her eyes. She looked at the mess on the floor and the tears slid down her face. Her dreams of life with Lucas were as shattered as the picture frame. Slowly climbing to her feet, Brooke mumbled goodbye as she left the house. Blinded by tears Brooke jumped into her car and sped toward her house. She wanted to go somewhere that Nathan wasn't gonna be. Right now she was mad at him for screaming at her. Sometimes it seemed like Nathan forgot that other people missed Lucas too and that they were emotional too.

Brooke saw Peyton sitting on the hood of her car in the driveway and she groaned. Great, she really wanted to just be alone and now she couldn't even do that.

"Hey buddy," Peyton said as she jumped down from the hood of her car.

"Hi," Brooke snapped.

"Whoa, what's wrong?"

Brooke walked into the house and Peyton followed right behind her. Brooke didn't bother stopping to acknowledge Peyton's presence. She just kept going until they were in her room. Determined to get Nathan's screaming out of her mind Brooke grabbed her copy of the sonogram and shoved it at Peyton wordlessly.

"I don't get it?" Peyton said as she stared at the picture.

Brooke shoved a finger at the picture pointing to the patient's name. Peyton followed Brooke's finger and her eyes widened as she read "Brooke Davis". Looking up at her best friend questioningly, Brooke just nodded.

"Oh god, Brooke. Come here," Peyton said as she opened her arms.

"Peyton what am I gonna do? I can't do this alone. I need Luke," Brooke cried in Peyton's arms.

"You're not gonna do this alone. You'll have me, Hales, Nathan, Keith, Rachel, Mouth and even Ryan would help you."

"No! I'm not telling my brother. Are you crazy? He'll tell my parents."

"Brooke, you have to tell them. If you don't you'll end up in Georgia, alone and pregnant. Please, tell them. Or tell Ryan and let him do it."

Brooke stayed in Peyton's arms as the tears continued to fall. Suddenly, she was angry at Jimmy, Lucas, her parents, Nathan. Anyone who had done her wrong. She was even a little bit angry at Peyton but not too much because she was there for her.

"I hate you! Oh god I hate you. How could you do this to me? You died and left me here to take care of a baby alone. Why couldn't you live? I thought you loved me Luke! Damn it, I hate you," Brooke screamed as she pulled away from Peyton and began throwing things around her room.

Peyton watched as Brooke completely fell apart. There was nothing she could do for her in that moment that would take away the pain or the anger. And it hurt Peyton to know that. All those times Brooke had been there for her and held her when she cried and she felt completely helpless watching as Brooke fell beyond her reach.

"I hate you! Do you hear me Lucas Scott, I hate you! You left me with this baby. I don't even want to be pregnant. I can't be pregnant but you never thought about the consequences. Now I have to face them alone. I hate you so much," Brooke yelled as she threw a hair brush at the mirror.

Peyton jumped as the glass shattered. Brooke didn't even seem phased by the mess she was making. Suddenly Brooke smiled as the sunlight came through her window a reflected off one of the shards of mirror. Brooke grabbed it up and ran to the bathroom. Peyton followed behind her and tried to get into the bathroom but discovered that Brooke had locked the door.

"Open the door, Brooke," Peyton pleaded as she knocked.

"No. You can't save me Peyton. Lucas was supposed to save me, always and now he's gone. I can never be saved again," Brooke cried as she sliced the piece glass across her wrist.

"Brooke, please. Don't do this. You were doing so well. Let me in. I can save you. Please, just let me in."

"No. Don't you dare do that Peyton. Don't you cry just to make me let you in. It's not gonna work."

"Brooke! Stop. I know you're hurting and you miss Lucas terribly but think about the baby. You don't wanna hurt the baby. Do you?"

"No."

"Let me in."

Brooke sighed as she unlocked the door. Peyton pushed the door open and her eyes watered instantly when she saw the trail of blood on Brooke's arm and the puddle on the floor. She grabbed a towel and pressed on the cut, when she did that Brooke winced.

"Ow! Peyton what the hell!" Brooke cried.

"I'm sorry but I'm not gonna watch you bleed to death," Peyton said as she continued to press down to stop the bleeding.

_This is not how I was supposed to spend my day. I should have been the one to die _Brooke thought as she sat there with Peyton putting pressure on her arm.

"I should have been the one to die," Brooke whispered almost inaudibly.

"Do not say that! Damn it Brooke, I'm serious," Peyton yelled. She hated when Brooke got this way because talking to her was almost impossible but there was nothing anyone could say to make her give up. Brooke was her best friend and you just don't give up on your best friend.

"Why? It's true. Nobody would care. Everybody thinks I have this perfect life because my dad's got money. Well maybe they should try living in my shoes for a day. Then they'll see just how shitty life is for me."

Brooke ripped her arm away from Peyton's grasp and left the bathroom. She dropped to her knees in the hallway and sobbed. Peyton came out of the bathroom when she heard Brooke sobbing. When she saw that Brooke was in the hallway, Peyton got down next to her and held onto Brooke's shaking frame.

"I love you, oh god, I love you. Why can't you be here with me?" Brooke cried as her body shook with sobs.

"It's okay Brooke. Just let it go," Peyton whispered as she held her and kissed her forehead.

_And there you have chapter 10. I'm sorry it took so long but my computer is in full on "jack ass" mode. Haha! Not fun. Anyway…let me know what you think. _


	11. Chapter 11

Peyton was still sitting on the floor with Brooke when she felt Brooke's body go limp in her arms.

"Brooke," she said in a panicked tone.

When Brooke didn't answer her, Peyton felt herself getting nervous. She carefully laid Brooke on the solid wood floor to go get a phone to call for help.

"911, what's your emergency?" the operator asked.

"My friend, she cut her wrist with some broke glass. Then she was crying really hard and now she's not breathing. And she's pregnant. Oh god, the baby," Peyton explained as she tried to stay calm.

"Sweetie, is your friend breathing?"

Peyton got on the floor next to Brooke. It didn't sound like she was breathing and Peyton couldn't feel any bursts of air coming from Brooke's lips.

"She's not breathing. Oh god, she can't die. I can't lose her."

"What's your name?"

"Peyton."

"Okay Peyton. I need you to stay calm. I know you're scared but you need to do this for your friend. She needs you."

"Okay."

Five minutes later Peyton could hear sirens. She rushed down the stairs to let the EMT's into the house and up the stairs to where Brooke lie, still not breathing.

"Miss, what happened?" the younger of the two asked.

"She cut her wrist on some broken glass. Please, don't let her die," Peyton replied tearfully.

"We're gonna do everything we can to make sure she doesn't."

Peyton couldn't help herself as she thought _yeah, that's what they said about Luke too and he's dead. _A few minutes later the EMT's were carrying Brooke down the stairs to the ambulance with Peyton right behind them. Brooke still wasn't breathing and her pulse was getting weaker. Peyton tried to stay of the way as she sat in the back of the ambulance holding Brooke's hand tightly. When they reached the hospital the EMT's moved quickly to get Brooke inside. They wheeled her in and then she was taken through a set of doors Peyton wasn't permitted to walk through.

"Please, save her," she pleaded.

Peyton was alone in the waiting. She didn't have her cell phone because they left so quickly. Slowly, Peyton got to her feet. She had to find a pay phone and call Nathan, Haley, Karen, Keith, Mouth and Rachel. And for a split second Peyton considered calling Ryan but quickly dismissed the thought when she realized she didn't have a number for him. Sighing, Peyton put some change in the phone and dialed Haley's number.

"Hello," Haley sniffled as she answered the phone in bewilderment.

"Hales, it's Peyton," she said slowly.

"If you're looking for Brooke, I haven't seen her since she left Karen's a couple hours ago."

"I'm not looking for Brooke. I'm with Brooke. She's the reason I'm calling though."

"What? Oh my god, did something happen to her Peyton? Is it the baby? What's wrong?"

"She's in the hospital right now. She sliced her wrist with broken glass. She lost so much blood, Hales. Then she was sobbing after that and then she wasn't breathing anymore. When we got here she still wasn't breathing. Oh god, Hales, I can't lose her."

"Oh my god. Okay, you call Mouth and Rachel. I'll get Karen and Keith."

"What about Nathan? He'll wanna be here."

"I don't know where he is right now. He got in a fight with Brooke earlier and stormed out of Karen's. I can't get a hold of him, he shut his phone off."

"Hales, he'll turn it back on. Leave him a message."

"Okay, you just call Mouth and Rachel. I'll take care of the rest and see you in a little bit. Hang in there, Peyt. We're not gonna lose Brooke or the baby."

"I hope you're right."

Peyton hung up and dug for more change in her pockets. Part of her didn't want to call Mouth or Rachel but she knew she had to because they were Brooke's friends too. She decided to try Mouth first but it went to his voicemail.

"Hey, it's Mouth. Leave me something good and I'll get back to you."

Peyton sighed. This was not something good but she had no choice.

"Mouth, it's Peyton. Brooke's in the hospital. Get here as soon as you can."

Peyton hung up and once again had to dig for more change. She had just enough to make one more phone call. Rachel picked up.

"Hello?" she whispered.

"Rachel?" Peyton replied a little unsure.

"Who's this?"

"It's Peyton. Please, don't hang up. Brooke's in the hospital."

"What? Why? Oh god, she's okay right?"

"Just find Mouth and get here. I'll everything then."

"Okay."

"Bye Rachel."

"Wait."

"What?"

"Thanks for calling me. I know you're afraid I'm trying to replace you in Brooke's life. I'm not."

"Bye Rachel."

Peyton hung up and walked over to the first empty plastic chair and flopped down. Just as she sat down Haley came bursting in followed by Karen and Keith. Haley sat next to Peyton and hugged her tightly. Karen walked over to join the girls while Keith tried to see if he could get any information on Brooke's condition.

"Hi, my daughter in law was brought in a little while ago. I was hoping someone could tell me how she's doing," Keith said calmly.

"Name?" the nurse asked.

"Brooke Davis."

The nurse typed the name into the computer and read the screen before turning back to answer Keith.

"They're running some tests right now. A doctor should be with you soon."

"Thank you."

Keith walked away and sat next to Karen.

"What did she say?" Peyton asked nervously.

"They're running some tests. A doctor should be here in a little while," Keith replied.

They continued to sit there in silence. Each of them hoping and praying Brooke and the baby would be all right.

"God, I never ask for anything but please, don't let Brooke or the baby die," Peyton prayed quietly.

Haley reached over and squeezed Peyton's hand. She was terrified that Brooke's days without Lucas were about to end but she wasn't ready to say goodbye to her yet. They continued to sit there, waiting a blanket of silence uncomfortably resting over them. After what seemed like an eternity Rachel and Mouth came flying into the waiting room, both of them had tears in their eyes.

"Peyton!" Rachel said as they stopped running, "How's Brooke?"

"We don't know yet. They're running some tests," Peyton replied.

"She'll be okay. I know she will. The Brooke Davis I've come to know is a fighter and I believe she'll fight her way out of this."

"But Brooke isn't the only one we're worried about," Haley whispered.

"What are you talking about Haley?" Rachel asked when she heard her whispering.

"Oh, um, nothing. I was talking about nothing."

_Shit! Me and my big mouth _Haley thought to herself. Rachel sat next to Haley and grabbed her hand.

"Please, Haley. Tell me what's going on. Brooke's my friend too. If there's something else you're worried about, please tell me."

"She's pregnant, Rachel. There, are you happy? Now you know," Peyton snapped as she stood up and walked away.

"Haley? Is she?" Mouth asked when Rachel couldn't find the words to say it herself.

"Yes, Brooke is pregnant. Wait, do you even know what happened to Brooke?" Haley replied.

"No, we don't," Rachel said.

"Brooke cut herself with broken glass and then she passed out."

Rachel's eyes grew wide. She knew that Brooke would have a hard time dealing with Lucas' birthday but she didn't believe it would get this bad. But then again she didn't know Brooke was pregnant until now either.

"Oh god. Is the baby Luke's?" Rachel asked timidly.

"Yes."

"She must be so scared. Mouth, we have to help her. She said she was gonna help me but I think we should help her. I've got you and she doesn't have Luke. She'll need more help than I will," Rachel said as she turned to her boyfriend.

"Of course we'll help Brooke. I wouldn't dream of not helping her. She's my friend too just like Luke was. Everything is gonna be okay. Brooke and the baby will make it through. After all, the baby is half Scott half Davis," Mouth laughed.

"What are you saying Mouth? Are Scotts stubborn?" Keith asked as he leaned forward to look at Mouth, with a grin on his face.

"Of course you are. But you know we love you. Most of the time."

"Yeah, well. I am the nice guy in the clan."

Mouth nodded.

"Hey! What about my husband?" Haley interjected.

"Yeah, what about her husband?" Nathan said as he walked in looking frantic.

"Nathan! Oh thank god you're here," Haley said when she looked up to see Nathan smile weakly at her.

"I got your message. What's going on? Is Brooke hurt? Did something happen to the baby?"

"She sliced her wrist Nate. She passed out on her floor while Peyton was with her. They're running some tests right now," Keith explained to his nephew.

"This is my fault. I shouldn't have screamed at her today. That was stupid of me. Karen, I'm sorry. I made Brooke put your grandchild at risk today."

"No, Nathan. You didn't make Brooke do anything. She made her own choices. She knew it was wrong and that she would be putting her life and the baby's life in danger by doing what she did but she chose to do it anyway. Don't you dare blame yourself," Karen replied sternly.

"I screamed at her. I shouldn't have done that. She was just trying to help me and I didn't let her. I'm a terrible person. Who puts their unborn niece or nephew's life at risk like that? Apparently I do."

"No, Karen's right. You didn't do anything wrong. You couldn't have known she was going to end up in the hospital," Peyton said as she came back and sat next to Haley.

"You weren't there Peyton. You didn't hear how mean I was. I told her to shut up and some other stupid stuff. I shouldn't have done it. I'm sorry."

A tear rolled down Nathan's cheek. No matter what anyone said he felt like this whole thing was his fault. First with Lucas dying and now this with Brooke and the baby in danger.

"Luke, I'm sorry man. I'm so sorry I can't take better care of your girl and your baby. I really thought I could this man but I can't. I can't look at her without missing you. Oh god, Luke, I'm sorry I messed up," Nathan cried as he dropped his head in his hands.

Haley leaned over and rubbed his back with her while she wiped the tears from his eyes with the other hand. She hated to see Nathan like this. It was heart wrenching and made her want to trade places with him just so he wouldn't have to feel this way anymore.

"Shh, baby, it's okay. You're doing a great job watching out for Brooke and the baby. Luke would be so glad to know you have been watching out for them like you have. You're a great brother for wanting to keep them safe. Your need to protect them is part of what makes me love you because it's part of you and I love all of you," Haley said softly as she kept rubbing his back.

"Why do I feel like this whole thing is my fault then? Why Hales? I can't live like this," Nathan asked as the tears slowed down.

"Baby I wish I knew but I can't answer that for you. Only you can."

"Excuse me? Who's here for Brooke Davis?" a middle aged doctor asked as he walked into the waiting room carrying a clipboard.

"We are," Karen and Keith answered as they stood up.

"Come with me please."

Karen and Keith wordlessly followed the doctor down a hallway and into an office. He shut the door and motioned for them to sit down. They sat down and held each other's hands tightly.

"My name is Dr. Madden. We ran some tests on your daughter in law. There was significant blood loss but we have her stabilized for the time being. We made need to take the baby out now, I know that you don't like the sound of that but there's a high possibility of Brooke slipping into a coma and if that happens the baby's chances of survival will decline dramatically," Dr. Madden began.

"Is Brooke awake?" Keith asked.

"She's asleep right now. But we did manage get her breathing again. Although she's hooked up to oxygen as a precautionary measure."

"Will we be able to discuss the options about the baby with her?"

"Of course. I don't want to do anything with the baby until you've talked with her. Is her husband here?" **(A/N: No, they didn't get married.) **

Karen's eyes watered as she shook her head.

"No, he was killed two months again at the Tree Hill High shooting," Keith replied as he squeezed Karen's hand tightly.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize."

"It's okay."

"What about her parents?"

"They're out of town and probably don't have a clue their daughter is pregnant."

"Does she have any other blood relatives who would need to know about this?"

"She has a brother in California but none of us know how to reach him except for Brooke."

"Well then I guess it's up to the two of you to talk with Brooke about her options."

Karen and Keith nodded. Dr. Madden stood up and led them to Brooke's room. She looked peaceful as she slept despite the bandage on her wrist.

"Brooke," Karen said as she sat in the chair on one side of the bed. Keith sat in the chair on the other side of the bed. Each of them took one of Brooke's hands in their own hands.

"Brookie, it's Keith. Squeeze my hand if you're awake," Keith said gently. He smiled as he felt her grip on his hand tighten.

"Hi," she whispered hoarsely.

"Brooke, I'm Dr. Madden. We need to discuss some things with you. About the baby," Dr. Madden began.

Brooke's eyes grew wide. Was he going to tell her that she had lost the baby? Did she kill her last link to Lucas? Tears welled up in her eyes as she nervously waited to hear what was going on.

"First of all, the baby is okay. For now. But there is a chance you could slip into a coma because you lost so much blood. If you do, then you more than likely will lose your baby. In order to prevent that from happening we may need to take the baby out now."

"But I'm only five months pregnant," Brooke cried.

"I know but you want the baby to survive right?"

"Yes of course. It's all I have left to tie me to Lucas."

Karen reached up to wipe the tears from Brooke's eyes as they slid down her cheeks unchecked. Keith watched from his side of the bed as he continued to hold Brooke's hand. He knew this was going to be hard for her but he trusted that she would make the right choice.

"Brooke, it's up to you. Whatever you decide, Karen and I will back you up 100 percent. If you want them to go in and take the baby out now, then that's fine. If you don't, that's fine too but remember the risks in that right now," Keith said gently.

"I don't wanna lose this baby. It's the last link to Lucas that I have," she said quietly.

She placed her hands on her stomach and felt the baby move under her. That was enough to know that as risky as it may be, she had to let the doctors do what's best for the baby. It wasn't just about her and her safety anymore. Brooke had to think about the baby too.

"What do you think Brooke? Do you need more time to think about your options or are you ready to make a decision?" Dr. Madden asked.

"I'm ready to make my decision," Brooke said firmly as she looked between Karen and Keith who both just nodded at her to let her know they would support whatever she decided, "If it's safer for the baby I want you to take it out now. I don't want to lose him."

"Him?" Karen said with a small sparkle.

"I don't know for sure but I have this feeling. Call it intuition if you want but I firmly believe the baby is a boy."

Karen nodded as she smiled. She remembered feeling the same way 18 years ago when she was pregnant with Lucas. Everyone who knew her thought the baby was gonna be a girl but Karen thought differently. And of course she had been right.

"All right, I've gotta let the OR know what's going on and I'll come back for you in a little while. Hang in there Brooke," Dr. Madden said with a smile as he turned to leave the room.

"So this is it. I'm going to meet my baby today. I wish Luke was here," Brooke said as a tear slid down her cheek.

"I know you do sweetheart but think of it this way, this is the best birthday present you could ever give him," Karen said as she stroked the girl's cheek.

"I'm scared. What if the baby dies? I was so selfish today. I'm sorry I didn't mean for any of this to happen. Honestly. It wasn't supposed to be like this."

"Brooke, it's all right. Everyone makes mistakes. I'm just glad you and the baby are all right. If you weren't then I don't know what I would do. Losing my son was hard enough, I can't imagine losing you too."

"If we thought you meant to harm the baby then it would be a different story but we understand you were grief stricken and not in your right frame of mind earlier. It happens Brooke. Nobody's perfect. Please, don't beat yourself up over this. The baby is gonna be fine and do you wanna know how I know that?" Keith said.

"How?" Brooke asked weakly.

"Because the baby is a part of you and you are strong. Only the strong survive, that's not to say Lucas was weak."

"But his heart…the HCM. He was weak. Maybe not in the way he carried himself but physically he was a little weaker than others. It's okay. I know what you mean."

Brooke lie in the hospital bed with her hands resting protectively over the small bump that was her baby. She whispered softly to the baby that she was sorry for everything that she had put him through. About 20 minutes later, Dr. Madden came back with a couple more doctors and they were getting ready to take Brooke up to the OR.

"Are you ready Brooke?" he asked.

"I guess so," Brooke said nervously.

"Everything's gonna be fine. Remember what I told you," Keith said as he leaned down to kiss her forehead.

"We'll be here when it's over. Hang in there, kiddo," Karen said as she too leaned down and kissed Brooke's forehead.

"I love you guys," Brooke said through her tears.

"We love you too," Keith said with a smile as he lead Karen out of the room and back to the waiting room where everyone was waiting anxiously to find out what was going on.

Peyton spotted them first and ran up to them. There were tears in her eyes but she didn't care. All she cared about was how Brooke and the baby were doing.

"How are they?" she asked as her lip quivered.

"They're gonna be fine. But" Keith said.

"But what? Is it the baby? Oh god," Haley interrupted as she began to panic.

"Hales, I'm sure the baby is fine. Right Keith?" Nathan asked as he wrapped Haley into a hug.

"The baby is going to be fine. In fact, we all may get to meet the baby a lot sooner than we would have thought," Keith explained.

"What?" Peyton asked.

"The doctor explained to us that she was stable but because there is a chance she could slip into a coma she was going to have to decide what to do about the baby. If she decided to keep the baby in her that would be a greater risk to the baby's health so she decided not to take the chance and they just took her up to the OR. The baby is going to be born today," Karen answered.

"The baby is gonna share a birthday with Luke," Haley said with a sad smile. Karen could only nod.

"What better way to keep the memory of Lucas alive than for Brooke to have the baby today," Rachel said as she tried to see the good in the situation.

"Rachel's right. Maybe it's not ideal for the baby to be so prematurely but it's pretty cool that even though Lucas and the baby will never know each other in person, they will always have that connection because they share a birthday. Even more than that, they share the same genes. Well half of them anyway. Because the other half belong to my crazy best friend. This is gonna be okay," Peyton said surprising everyone by agreeing with Rachel.

"Whoa, did the Earth stop moving or did Peyton Sawyer just agree with me?"

"Oh so what, I agreed with you? Big deal."

Peyton was annoyed. She didn't see why it was such a big deal for her to agree with Rachel. It's not like that was impossible. It just wasn't very common.

"Come on, don't fight. Please?" Nathan asked gently hoping the girls would stop.

He was wrapped up in thoughts of Brooke and her child who was going to be born today. Part of Nathan was excited and part of him was scared to death. For Brooke and the baby. Something could still go wrong for both of them even though Brooke decided to take the precaution. _God keep them safe. I can't lose them. They're family _he prayed to himself. Nathan shook his head, since when did he start praying? He couldn't really tell you but if he had to guess Nathan would probably say since Lucas had been shot. It was weird how something so tragic and life changing could affect a person's mindset toward certain beliefs. Nathan didn't ever remember acknowledging the existence of a Higher Power when Lucas was alive and now here he was, two months later, praying to the God he wasn't sure actually existed but felt like maybe there was something or someone out there.

"Baby are you okay?" Haley asked Nathan when his face went blank.

"What? Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking about Brooke and the baby. I hope everything is okay. I can't lose them Hales," Nathan replied.

"I know sweetheart. They're gonna be fine. Just think about it. Brooke is stubborn as anyone I've ever known and that baby is half Scott half Davis. Chance of survival? Excellent if you ask me."

"That's true but aren't you scared that it might not matter and one or both of them might not make it anyway?"

"Of course I'm scared Nathan. I love Brooke too. I don't want anything to happen to her and the same goes for that little baby. I hope that nothing does happen to them and that everything turns out okay in the end but that doesn't mean I'm not scared. In fact, I think we're all scared. Some more than others but everyone of us is scared."

"Yeah, Nate. I'm scared for Brooke and the baby. I mean, sure I just found out she's pregnant but that doesn't change the fact that I'm afraid of what could happen. I want them to be okay just as much as you do," Rachel said sincerely.

"It's all gonna be okay. You wanna know why?" Keith said as he waved his hand around gesturing to the group of people sitting in the waiting room for Brooke, "This is why. Because Brooke has a roomful of people who love her and are here for her. She has something to fight for. She has a child to think about. And the Brooke I know would not punk out and give up because it hurts."

"But she almost did. She cut herself with a piece of broken glass," Peyton said worriedly.

"I know Peyton. But do you really believe she did that out of malice toward the baby?"

"No. I think she was just hurting and scared of being alone to raise the baby. But I told her she's never gonna be alone. And do you know what she said to me? She said that without Lucas nothing else mattered."

"I know it's hard to watch your best friend fall apart but you can't give up. You have to be there for her, even when she doesn't think she needs anyone."

Peyton nodded. She knew that already. And she was trying to do that but Brooke was so stubborn that it was hard at times.

They were all sitting there, silently, waiting for any word on how Brooke and the baby were doing. Finally, after what seemed like forever, but was really only like an hour, Dr. Madden came into the waiting room with a small smile on his face. Seeing the smile caused everyone to relax a little bit.

"How is she doc?" Nathan asked, jumping to his feet when he saw the doctor walking toward them.

"Brooke did fabulous. They should be taking her to a room any minute now. The baby is rather small but that's to be expected considering she was only 4 months pregnant. It's going to be a while before he gets to go home with his mommy," Dr. Madden explained.

"It's a boy?" Haley said, her eyes lighting up.

"Yes, the baby is a boy."

"Do you know what she named him?"

"I don't know if she's decided yet. I think she wants to talk to you and Nathan first. Well she said something about getting Nathan, Haley and Peyton in the room as quick as possible."

"Where is the baby?" Karen asked.

"He's in the NICU. Brooke will be able to go down there to see him later on today if she wants and then again tomorrow as long as she remains stable."

Nathan, Haley and Peyton followed Dr. Madden to the room where Brooke was, leaving Karen, Keith, Mouth and Rachel out in the waiting room. It seemed kind of funny that Brooke hadn't asked for Karen or Keith but they didn't care, they were just glad to hear that despite the premature nature of the birth, that the baby was okay and so was Brooke.

Nathan knocked lightly on Brooke's door before pushing it open. She was sitting up and smiled as her three friends walked into the room. Haley walked right over to her and wrapped her in a hug. Then Peyton did the same. Nathan hung back a little, his nerves showing in his demeanor.

"Nathan, come over here and give me a hug. I'm not gonna break you know," Brooke said with a smile.

He gave her a half smile as he walked over to Brooke's bed and hugged her harder than he had in a long time.

"How you feeling?" Nathan asked.

"I feel weird. You know, this morning I was pregnant and now I'm not. But it's all worth it because he is the cutest baby I've ever seen. He looks just like Luke, it's almost enough to make you cry. Actually, it was enough to make me cry. Those little hands and his feet. I hope they can find a diaper small enough for him," Brooke answered.

"What are you gonna name him?" Peyton asked.

"I don't know. I hadn't thought of any names yet because I thought I was gonna have another five months to think of something and now I don't. And I can't go around calling him Baby or Little Guy forever, that would be annoying."

"You could name him after Luke," Haley suggested.

"I thought about that but I don't want to. It would be too hard I think."

"Maybe you could use Lucas as a middle name and you could still say you named your son after his father without making him a junior."

"Actually, you know what? I've always liked the name Avery."

"Avery Lucas, it does have a nice ring to it," Peyton said as she smiled at Brooke.

"Hey, I like it. But it doesn't matter what I think," Nathan said.

"Yeah, Brooke, it's up to you. He's your little boy. You've gotta be the one that likes his name the most," Haley smiled.

"See, this is exactly why I knew I could count on you guys to help me with this. Avery Lucas sounds perfect," Brooke told them.

"Welcome to the world Avery Lucas…" Haley said.

"Scott. Avery Lucas Scott. I wouldn't have it any other way," Brooke finished for her.

"Good because I wasn't lying when I told you that you're part of this family and so is Avery," Nathan said as he leaned down and kissed Brooke's forehead.

"Hey! Wife, standing right here," Haley laughed.

"Aw Hales, you know I love you but I've been meaning to tell you that Brooke and I have been seeing each other on the side," Nathan said with a stupid grin on his face.

Brooke slapped his arm but she couldn't help it as the laughter escaped through her lips. Haley pretended to look angry as she crossed her arms in front of her chest but it didn't take long before she was laughing too.

There was a knock on the door and Dr. Madden popped his head into the room.

"So, do we have a name for the little guy?" he asked.

"Avery Lucas Scott," Brooke replied.

"Sounds good. Well I'm gonna go let the ladies in the NICU know and have them write it on the birth certificate. Someone will be down with it in a little while for you to sign."

"Great. Thanks so much for saving my little boy."

"Thanks for letting me save your little boy."

Brooke smiled as she nodded.

"Happy birthday, Luke and Avery," she said with a smile before yawning.

"Oh someone's getting sleepy. We should go," Haley said.

"No it's okay, I'm not tired."

"Sure you aren't. We'll come back later, get some sleep," Peyton told her.

Brooke didn't say anything because she had fallen asleep already. The three of them left and walked back down to the waiting room where they found Karen and Keith alone.

"Where did Mouth and Rachel go?" Haley asked.

"Home, Rachel started feeling sick," Karen replied.

"Oh okay."

"So, did she decide on a name?"

"Avery Lucas Scott," Nathan said.

"That's adorable."

"I like it," Keith said with a smile.

The group decided that because it was so late and Brooke was asleep they would leave and come back in the morning. They were all tired from the stress and pain of the day. It had been eventful to say the least.

"Thank you for saving her Luke," Peyton whispered softly as she sat in the back of Nathan's car.


	12. Chapter 12

Brooke was in the hospital for about two weeks. Every day she would go to the NICU to check on Avery. It was hard for her the first few days but as the days and visits continued Brooke felt it becoming less difficult.

The day she was being released Brooke went to the NICU to visit Avery before she left. He was still extremely small only weighing about 3 ½ pounds. Brooke had not held him since the day he was born after the doctor placed him in her arms for a brief moment.

"Hi Avery. Mommy's going home today. I have so much that needs to be done before you join me. But first you need to grow some more. Can you do that for Mommy baby? I would really love to take my little angel home with me," Brooke said as she stood over Avery's crib looking down at him.

Avery's only response was to stare up at Brooke with his big blue eyes. Brooke felt her heart melt whenever she saw those eyes. They were blue like Lucas' eyes had been and that of course was difficult for Brooke to handle at first but not so much now. Brooke saw them as a reflection of a resemblance to the love of her life. The nurse tapped on the window to get Brooke's attention and when she looked up the nurse pointed to the clock. Brooke sighed disappointedly. As much as she wanted to get out of the hospital she really didn't want to leave Avery behind. She wanted very much to stay with him forever even though she knew it wasn't possible for her to do so.

"Okay, baby, Mommy has to go now. I promise I'll be here tomorrow and every day after that until they say you can come home. I love you Avery," Brooke said as she blew a kiss to her baby boy.

She turned around and walked toward the door to leave. Before opening the door Brooke turned back toward Avery and blew another kiss in his direction. She made her way back to her room and jumped almost ten feet in the air when she saw Haley and Nathan sitting in the chairs next to the bed.

"What are you doing here?" she asked with her hand on her chest.

"Taking you home," Nathan replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Where's home? I thought you said my parents are in Georgia now?"

"They are. Just trust me."

So where are you taking me because if they're in Georgia the house is now longer my home."

"Brooke, do you trust me?"

"Yes, of course I do."

"Okay then. Let's go and I promise you, I am taking you home."

"But."

"Brooke."

"Sorry."

"How's Avery doing today?" Haley asked trying to change the subject.

"Same as yesterday but the nurse said he's gonna be fine. I just wish I didn't have to leave him here, you know?"

"I'm sorry Brooke. You'll have him home with you soon."

A few minutes later Dr. Madden came in the room with Brooke's discharge papers and an orderly came in behind him with a wheelchair. Brooke took one look at the wheelchair and groaned. This was not how she wanted to leave the hospital.

"Do I really have to sit in that?" she whined.

"Sorry but yes. Hospital policy. Besides, it could be fun," Dr. Madden answered.

"Oh please."

"Oh Brookie. Don't be so dramatic. Now come on. Sit down so we can get you out of here," Haley laughed.

"Thanks for the love Haley."

"Anything for you buddy. Now seriously, sit down. We can't wait all day for you to sit in this wheelchair. I dunno about you, but I can think of a million things I'd rather be doing."

Brooke flopped into the wheelchair and then turned around to stick her tongue out at Haley, who stuck her tongue out at Brooke. Nathan and Dr. Madden watched the girls and neither of them could help but laugh.

"All right girls, let's be on our way. If you're done that is," Nathan said as he stood behind the wheelchair.

"Yes please," Brooke said eager to leave the hospital but not Avery.

"Take care Brooke, but do me a favor? Try not to land yourself in here again. You're a beautiful girl with a bright future. Keep it that way," Dr. Madden said before he turned to leave.

"All right, let's go," Nathan said as he pushed Brooke's wheelchair out of the room toward the lobby and outside.

Nathan stopped the wheelchair once they were outside. Haley stepped behind the wheelchair and held it in place so Nathan could go get the car. She couldn't wait to see the look on Brooke's face when they took her home, because home was no longer the white house with the red door. No, it was an apartment in the building where she and Nathan lived that Brooke's father bought her after Karen, Keith, Nathan and herself told him and Brooke's mom what was going on. James and Julie Davis had surprised everyone by agreeing that Brooke and Avery should stay in Tree Hill. Haley just hoped Brooke didn't get upset with any of them for telling her parents about Avery. She was shaken out of her thoughts when Nathan slammed the driver door shut.

"Gee, Nate, did you park in the next county?" Brooke teased as he helped her in the car.

"No I didn't. Brat," Nathan replied.

Nathan turned his back to make sure the orderly who was waiting to take the wheelchair back in was all set. Brooke was looking out the window at Nathan with her tongue sticking out. Haley watched and had to bite back the laughter as she got into the front seat with Nathan.

"Hales, why do you look like you're excited and terrified at the same time?" Brooke asked as Nathan drove toward the apartment complex.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Haley insisted.

"Don't lie to me. What are you hiding?"

Haley looked at Nathan who give her a sideways glance and nodded. She smiled back as she reached into her purse and pulled out a key, handing it to Brooke as Nathan pulled into their parking space. Brooke held the key in her hand but she still didn't understand.

"I don't get it. Is this the spare key to your place? No, it can't be. Hales I already have one, I've had one since you moved in."

"I know. It's not for our place."

"What are you talking about? Is it for my place that I don't have?"

Brooke looked out the window and was surprised to see her car in the space next to where they were parked. Now she was really confused. She was holding a key that wasn't a spare for Nathan and Haley's place and her car was parked in a space like it belonged there. _What the hell is going? This doesn't make sense. Unless…no it couldn't be. Could it? _Brooke thought to herself.

"Okay, who got me the apartment?" she asked as Nathan opened the door and helped her out.

"I did," James Davis said as he walked toward his daughter.

"What are _you_ doing here and what are you talking about? Why would you do that? I thought you and Mom said I had to go to Georgia with you?" Brooke crossed her arms defiantly.

Haley tensed as she prepared for the truth to come out. And she was sure that when it did Brooke was gonna be pissed and would turn her anger toward her and Nathan. She really didn't wanna see that happen though.

"It was brought to my attention that you were pregnant and recently had your baby. Because of that I was asked not to make you leave town and come to Georgia with us. Your mother doesn't agree with this decision but I need to make things right with you. So if allowing you to stay here with people who love and care about you in ways your mother and I don't seem to know how to do then so be it. On one condition."

"What?"

"First of all, don't ask who told me about the baby. But that's not the condition."

"Okay I won't ask you. What's the condition?"

"Don't cut me out of yours and Avery's lives the way Ryan cut me out of his life and his children's lives. I swore if I ever had children again I'd be a better father. Obviously that hasn't worked and I'm sorry for that. I want things to be better between us Brooke."

"What about Mom? Does she care? Is she even sorry?"

"Honestly I don't know. She hasn't talked to me since I told her I was going to allow you to stay here and buy you this apartment. What do you say? Can you give me another chance?"

"I don't know Dad. You're asking me to do something you've never proved yourself to be worthy of. You're asking me to trust you, and I want to but I don't know if I can because I've never been able to before. Why should I believe you now? What is so different this time? Until you prove to me that things really are going to be different, better, I can't don't that."

"I understand."

"But, I am willing to give you that chance. I would like to give Mom the same chance but if she's not talking to you then she's definitely not gonna talk to me."

"Things will be better. You'll see."

Brooke nodded trying to cover the doubt she felt swimming in her stomach. She really wanted to believe things were going to be better with her and her dad but only time would tell if he could actually hold true to his word.

"Haley gave you the key I assume?" James asked.

"Yes," Brooke replied.

"All right, go on up. I believe there are a few people up there waiting up there for you. I'd love to stay but I've gotta get back."

Brooke nodded again. James started to walk away until Brooke pulled his arm and turned him around. As soon as he was facing her again Brooke pulled her dad into a hug. He was surprised at first but then James wrapped his arms around Brooke to return the hug.

"Thank you Daddy," she whispered in his ear and then kissed his cheek before breaking the hug.

"You're welcome baby girl. I love you," James replied.

"I love you too."

James walked away smiling. Brooke watched for a moment with tears brimming in her eyes before she turned to Nathan and Haley. Both of them were expecting Brooke to scream at them for going to her parents behind her back but were pleasantly surprised when she ran at them and pulled them both into a hug.

"So you're not mad?" Haley asked.

"Are you kidding? I'm thrilled. I told Peyton I wanted to get my own place in town. Now I don't have to because my dad took care of it for me. This is awesome, now all I have to worry about it providing for Avery," Brooke replied.

"Maybe not as much as you think," Nathan mumbled under his breath.

Haley shot him a look but dropped when Brooke didn't react. Obviously she hadn't heard anything. They walked up the steps, Brooke in front of Nathan and Haley. She stopped at the top when she realized she didn't know which apartment was hers. Haley saw this and walked toward her and Nathan's apartment and then went to the next door over and stopped.

"I'm right next to you guys?" Broke said in excited disbelief.

Haley and Nathan were smiling as they nodded.

"Now I know you two told my dad about Avery. And I'm guessing Karen and Keith are in on this too," Brooke said as she put the key in the door and unlocked her apartment.

"You're not supposed to ask," Nathan said sarcastically.

"No, I'm not supposed to ask my dad. He didn't say I couldn't ask anyone else."

Brooke stuck her tongue out at Nathan as she turned back to push the door open. It was dark but Brooke thought she could hear voices. She flipped the light switch that was next to the door. As soon as she did, Peyton, Karen, Keith, Rachel, Mouth, Skills and Ryan all yelled, "Welcome home Brooke!"

"RYAN! What are you doing here?" Brooke squealed happily as she ran toward her brother who lifted her off the ground and spun around.

"Visiting my baby sister of course," Ryan told her after he put back on the floor.

"I'm so glad you're here. Did Dad call you?"

"No, I called him," Peyton said as she grinned at Brooke.

"Aw, P. Sawyer. You're the best," Brooke said happily as she wrapped her best friend into a hug.

"I know."

"Humble too."

The girls giggled as they hugged again. Next Brooke moved onto Karen and Keith who just wrapped her into a hug. Karen pulled back and the look in her eye told Brooke she was glad to see that she was okay now.

"Okay my turn Ms. Roe," Skills laughed.

"Hey buddy. I'm so glad to see you," Brooke said as she hugged him.

"Me too. No more crazy stunts now you hear? And when you bring that boy home let me know I wanna meet the little dude."

"Of course. Avery's gotta meet his Uncle Skills. I wouldn't cheat you out of that. Luke would want you to know his son and I would never have a problem with that. Skills you and Luke go way back, you can tell Avery stories about Lucas I've never heard."

"You know I will. I'll help with whatever too."

"Thanks Skills."

Brooke pulled him into another before moving onto Rachel and Mouth. Surprisingly this was harder for her to handle then Karen and Keith. Rachel stepped up and hugged her friend when she saw the tears in Brooke's eyes.

"I can't believe I almost let you down. Rachel I'm so sorry," Brooke cried into her friend's shoulder.

"Shh, Brooke, it's all right. You pulled through. I knew you would. You're a strong person. Maybe I didn't know you were pregnant when I got to the hospital but just like you said you're gonna help me, Mouth and I are gonna help you. Whatever you need. We'll be there for you. This is gonna be a popular line today but I wanna do something for you because you've been so good to me," Rachel said as she rubbed Brooke's back soothingly.

"I can't tell you what that means to me Rachel. Thank you so much. I love you."

"I love you too."

Peyton cringed inwardly. She was glad that Brooke had more friends she could count on but it wasn't common for her to tell them she loved them. Obviously her friendship with Rachel was stronger than Brooke was letting on.

"Rachel's right, Brooke. Whatever you need, you can come to us whenever you want. I loved Lucas like he was my brother and I've always had a soft spot for you. I couldn't have been happier the day you two got together except I wanted you for myself but knowing what a great guy Luke was I let that go. Please, don't hesitate to ask for anything. It's all gonna be fine but I agree with Skills, no more crazy stunts okay?" Mouth said as he wrapped his arms around the two girls.

"Mouth you are amazing. How come I have such a kick ass friend?" Brooke asked as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

"You haven't seen nothing yet."

"What?"

"Come with me."

Mouth grabbed Brooke's hand and led her to one of the two bedroom doors. Brooke smiled when she saw that it said Avery in lettering that looked like basketballs. She looked back at everyone who was watching and they all motioned for her to open the door. With butterflies swirling in her stomach Brooke opened the door slowly and what she saw when she did brought tears to her eyes. There was a crib, rocking chair, changing table and dressers arranged around the room. She walked in and sat in the rocking chair. As she did that Brooke noticed the closet with some clothes in it already. Immediately her glance went to Karen who nodded at her.

"This is amazing. Not even an hour ago I was worried about where Avery and I were gonna live and how I was gonna all this stuff for him and now, I've got more than I could ask for," Brooke said as a tear slid down her cheek.

Haley and Nathan walked over to Brooke and handed her a box with Pooh Bear wrapping paper on it. She shook her head in amazement as she opened the box. Inside the box was a newborn sized basketball jersey, shorts and an infant sized baseball cap. Each article of clothing said "Ravens" in black lettering. Brooke lifted the jersey out of the box and turned it around, Haley watched carefully for her reaction. As soon as Brooke turned it around she saw that on the back it had the number 3 and Scott above it.

"This is amazing you guys. Thank you," Brooke said as she looked up at her friends and smiled through the tears.

"You're welcome. Nathan wanted to get a basketball but I convinced him to wait a couple more years," Haley said as she walked over and hugged Brooke.

"Hey, he's gonna learn to play some day. It's in his blood, poor kid," Nathan said as he too walked over to give Brooke a hug.

"Okay, okay. Best friend's turn," Peyton laughed. She handed Brooke an envelope. Brooke looked up at Peyton with a confused expression.

"P. Sawyer what did you do?" Brooke asked.

"If you open it you'll see what I did, B. Davis," Peyton replied.

Brooke opened the envelope and wasn't surprised to find a drawing inside. She pulled it out carefully and looked at it, her breath catching in her throat when she realized it was a picture of her, Lucas and Avery.

"Peyton," she said softly.

"I drew that before I knew you were pregnant. I wasn't gonna give it to you originally but when I found out you were pregnant I knew I had to. Hang up wherever you want," Peyton explained.

Brooke stood up out of the chair and placed the picture and envelope on the chair before pulling Peyton into a hug.

"I so wasn't kidding when I said you're the best. Thanks, I love the picture. But not nearly as much as I love you."

"I love you too."

Ryan watched as his sister interacted with all her friends. He was glad to see that so many people loved and cared about her. It made him feel a little bit better for living so far away. When Brooke was growing up he would come to visit but he never saw her because she was always off with Peyton or another friend. It was nice to be able to meet the people that played a big part in Brooke's life. And he was glad to see she had a best friend that really loved her and a bunch of other friends who she could depend on too. He waited a minute before making his way toward Brooke again. He didn't want to make Peyton feel like she had to rush or anything.

"Brookie, my baby sister. I know I wasn't around much to watch you grow up. I wanna be around to watch Avery grow up and maybe help when I can. Obviously it won't be as often as everyone else who's here but I will come around more often. I missed too much in your life as it is and I feel like the crappiest brother ever," Ryan said.

"Ryan, you're not a crappy brother. It's not your fault you're like 7 years older than me. I've never held that against you. But I would love to see you more often and I would definitely love for my son to know his Uncle Ryan," Brooke replied as she turned to her brother.

"Oh, Avery will know Uncle Ryan. In fact, Uncle Ryan just might be his favorite uncle."

"I dunno about that. Unless you plan to spoil him lavishly, Uncle Nathan might beat you out Uncle Ryan."

Nathan couldn't help but grin. Brooke was right, he was absolutely gonna spoil Avery whenever he could. She didn't know it yet but there was stuff in the closet and dresser that Nathan had bought for Avery without Haley even knowing it. He wasn't sure yet how he managed to pull that one off but he wasn't gonna jinx it by saying anything now.

"Okay, I've been staring at this furniture and I'm getting the feeling it was Lucas' baby furniture," Brooke said as she looked around the room again.

"Good feeling. I've been waiting for an opportunity to use it again and when I found out you were pregnant with my son's baby I thought what better way to get rid of it then to give it to you to use for Avery. Lucas would have been thrilled and I figured you'd appreciate the gesture," Karen explained.

"I totally do. This is awesome. Thanks so much Karen. I love you."

Brooke hugged Karen tightly for a minute before going to hug Keith too. Maybe he wasn't Lucas' biological father but nobody cared. It was Keith's influence that molded Lucas into the person he had been.

"Brooke you're gonna raise an amazing kid. Just make sure he's not a slacker like my nephew over there," Keith laughed as he nodded his head toward Nathan.

"Don't worry he won't be," Brooke said as she laughed.

"You're a real funny guy Keith," Nathan said as he walked over and punched him in the arm.

"Yeah, I know," he said before turning back to Brooke, "Before I forget, I have a surprise of my own."

"Are you kidding? You've all done way too much already," Brooke said with an astonished look.

"Are _you_ kidding? Brooke, you knew you were gonna get spoiled rotten once everyone got wind of you being pregnant. Come here."

Brooke walked over to Keith who pulled something out of his pocket. She looked at it and then at Keith, her eyes searching his facial expression for any sort of clue he might have for her. When she gave up trying to read his expression Brooke opened the tiny envelope only to have a key fall on the floor in front of her. She bent down to pick it up and look at it. Her eyes widened when she realized it was a car key.

"Keith you didn't have to," Brooke said.

"No but I wanted to. Brooke I know you love that Beetle of yours but I think you're gonna like this better," Keith said as he handed her a picture of a baby blue Mustang convertible.

"Shut up. You did not."

"I did."

"Why? How?"

"Well somebody came to my shop with it, insisting it was dead. Being the mechanic I am, I checked it and found the problem, fixed it up. Called the guy to tell him his car was fixed but he didn't want it. I thought about selling it to Danny but then I decided I'd let you have it. It's bigger and can fit more stuff then your car can now."

"You're amazing. I love you."

"I love you too kiddo. Take good care of Avery."

"I will."

Everybody stayed and hung out at Brooke's apartment for a couple hours. They ordered pizza and the guys went out to get some drinks. While they were gone there was a knock on the door. Brooke got up to answer it wondering who could be on the other side. Especially since she didn't think there was anyone else who knew that she had her own place in Tree Hill now. A smile spread across her face as she stared back at a familiar face.

_Oh yes…cliff hanger. Don't hate me. Whoever guesses who's there gets a cookie…well you'd get a cookie if I had a cookie to give you. Leave me the love and don't forget to make your guesses! Peace out kids!_


	13. Chapter 13

"Jake! Oh my gosh, it's nice good to see you," Brooke said as she ushered him into the apartment, "What are you doing in Tree Hill?"

"I was visiting my parents actually."

"How did you know where to find me?"

"I didn't. I was looking for Nathan. I thought this was his apartment."

"Nope, next one over but he's hanging out over here. Actually a bunch of people are."

"Brooke, who was at the," Peyton asked as she walked into see Jake, "door?"

"Peyton, God, you look beautiful," Jake said when he looked up to see the familiar blonde haired girl he had fallen in love with before leaving town.

"Jake. I missed you so much. How are you and Jenny doing?" Peyton asked as she walked over and hugged him tightly while breathing in his familiar scent.

"It's funny you should mention Jenny. Cause I'm about to become Daddy again. But she's great. Emily, my girlfriend, she loves Jenny."

Jake could see the open door to Avery's room with all the baby furniture from where he was standing and turned back to Brooke.

"You said this is your place right?" he asked.

"Yeah, why?" Brooke replied.

"You have a child now?"

"Actually yes, I just had a little boy two weeks ago. Avery Lucas Scott."

"Luke's a daddy now huh? I'll have to welcome him to the club."

Brooke's face fell and Jake noticed immediately wondering why. He was hoping Lucas hadn't left Brooke to raise a baby on her own the way Nikki had just dumped Jenny off on him two years ago. If that was the case Jake would kick Lucas' ass the first chance he got. Peyton grabbed Jake's arm and lead him into Avery's room. She was going to explain everything to him so Brooke wouldn't have to.

"Peyton what's going on? Why did Brooke's face fall when I mentioned welcoming Luke to the club?" Jake asked with genuine concern.

"He died Jake. Before Brooke even knew she was pregnant. He never even knew he was going to be a father," Peyton replied sadly.

"Oh god, was it his heart?"

"No."

"What happened?"

"You remember Jimmy Edwards?"

"Sure I do. He was good friends with Luke. What did he do?"

"He shot Luke. And then he shot himself. It's been almost three months. Brooke's been a mess. She was only four months pregnant but she fell into a bad spot with her feelings and almost put her life and Avery's life at risk. The doctor told her she could continue to carry Avery and risk going into a coma and losing him or save his life and allow them to take him out now. She opted for saving his life. He's still in the hospital and will be for a while longer."

"Oh gosh. I'm sorry I wasn't here for any of that. I would have helped out anyway I could. If Emily wasn't pregnant I'd come back to Tree Hill but I can't leave her and my child."

"Jake its okay. Brooke will understand."

Jake nodded weakly. He felt like his stomach was in knots. How could Jimmy shoot Lucas? Why did he do it? These were questions that not only plagued Jake's mind but also the minds of everyone who ever knew Lucas and or Jimmy. None of it made sense. Jake went out to the living room where Brooke was sitting with Haley talking about something and put his arms around her.

"I'm sorry," was all he could say to her.

"It's okay, you didn't know," she whispered.

"Jake! When did you get here?" Haley asked happy to see her friend.

"A little while ago. I was actually looking for your husband. I thought this was your place but I guess I got it wrong. Oh well, at least I found you guys," Jake told Haley.

A minute later the guys walked in carrying bags full of soda, juice, milk, water and alcohol. Brooke rolled her eyes when she saw the alcohol.

"This isn't for you. Keith bought it for me," Nathan said as he stashed the alcohol in the corner of Brooke's fridge for now.

Nobody seemed to notice that Jake was there. He was kind of amused by this as he watched his old friends interacting and then there was an older guy he didn't recognize who walked over to Brooke and hugged her. After he broke his embrace Jake looked at Brooke questioningly.

"Jake, I'd like you to meet my brother, Ryan Davis," Brooke explained when she saw the look on his face.

"Oh hey Ryan. Nice to meet you. I didn't know Brooke had a brother," Jake said as he stood up and shook Ryan's hand.

"Not many people do. I live out in California. But I came to Tree Hill when I heard my baby sister was a mommy," Ryan explained to Jake.

"Your sister is an amazing girl. I've always thought so."

"Well I'm glad to hear it. That seems to be the mutual feeling about my little Brookie. And you know something I think I agree with ya'll. She is amazing."

"Stop. I am not amazing. If I was amazing I'd be able to handle living without my boyfriend and the father of my child much better then I have. Just wait till I break down. You won't think I'm amazing then. Trust me," Brooke said as she felt her cheeks getting red.

"Brooke, I don't have to see you break down. And even if I do, you're still amazing to me. You've put up with Dad and Julie for 17 years without killing them."

"Well it's pretty easy when they're never home to take care of me. I'm surprised social services didn't get involved after all the times I would tell my teachers how they were never home and I was left in the house alone. Well once you were gone that was. Even before you went off to college I never saw you much either. But that's okay. I'll see you more now and I can appreciate your presence in my life."

About an hour later, Brooke decided it was time to kick everyone out of her apartment. Everyone except Ryan that was. As she was saying goodbye to Jake she made him promise to keep her in the loop.

"Jake, don't be a stranger. Come back and visit anytime and make sure you keep me informed on what's going on with you," Brooke said as she hugged him.

"I will. You too. Good luck with Avery. He's lucky to have you," Jake said as he kissed Brooke's cheek before leaving.

Brooke shut the door and joined Ryan on the couch. He still hadn't given her what he had for Avery but he wanted to wait until they were alone anyway because it was kind of over the top. Especially for a 17 year old widowed teen mother.

"Here, this is for you and Avery. Use it however you want," Ryan told Brooke as he handed her a check.

Brooke unfolded the check and stared blankly at the number in front of her. She shook her head and tried to give it back. Ryan wouldn't take it though.

"Ryan, no. This is way too much. You can't do that," Brooke said insistently.

"Yes I can. You are my sister and I wanna do something nice for you," Ryan retorted.

"$500,000 Ryan? That's too nice. What about you? Don't you need money to take care of your own kid?"

"Brooke, don't worry about it. I've got plenty of money. Besides, I imagine you're not really gonna have time for a job with school and Avery to think about. This should keep you afloat long enough to get you through at least two or three years of college before you have to worry about money on your own."

"You're amazing Ryan. I love you. You know that right?"

"I love you too Brookie. Take care of my nephew."

"Of course. Hey where are you going? Why don't you stay here?"

"I can't Brooke. I've gotta get to the airport. I'm sorry. I'll come back in a few weeks. And I'll call you when I get home. I promise."

"Okay. Thanks for coming out here Ryan. I missed you."

"I missed you too Peanut."

Ryan enveloped Brooke in a hug and kissed her forehead before releasing her from his embrace and walking out of the apartment and down to his rental car. Brooke watched as Ryan drove away before going back inside and into Avery's room. She sat down in the rocking chair and rocked herself to sleep. She was exhausted from all the day's excitement. First with getting out of the hospital; then finding out about the apartment and seeing her dad. Brooke smiled to herself as she thought about how lucky she was to have such a great support system in Tree Hill.

"Luke, I miss you," she mumbled just before she fell asleep.

Brooke was back at school a few days later. In fact she was back just in time for the top ten of the graduating class to be announced. It was no surprise to anyone that Haley was named valedictorian. The surprise of the top ten however was Brooke. She was named salutatorian. After Brooke it was Mouth, Abby Brown, John Ferris, Marcus Vasquez, Peyton, Brandon Roth, Skills and Rachel. Brooke was totally blown away, she had no idea that she ranked so high in the class but it was kind of cool at the same time because it meant she could finally shake the brainless cheerleader stereotype so many people had slapped on her.

"Brooke!" Nathan yelled as he came up to her in the halls.

"Hey Nathan," Brooke replied as she took her head out of her locker.

"Congratulations on being salutatorian."

"Thanks."

Nathan hugged her briefly before he ran off to find Haley to congratulate her for being named valedictorian. He was so proud of his girls, all four of them; for all making the top ten in their class. He knew that would never be something he could do himself but as long as he graduated and got into the college he wanted to, that was all that mattered to Nathan about his own academics. But it was important to him that the girls do well because he knew what they were all capable of doing and they all proved him right by making the top ten.

Brooke closed her locker and made her way toward her class—math with Haley. The only person who ranked higher in the class but that didn't bother Brooke at all because she knew Haley deserved it. She worked harder than anyone Brooke had ever seen when it came to school work.

"Hales!" she squealed as she ran into the room and sat next to her friend.

"Hey Tigger," Haley replied happily.

"This is so great. I'm so happy for you."

"Thanks. You too. Luke would be so proud of you. I know Nathan is. He told me so when I saw him just now."

"Yeah, he told me too. Luke would have been proud of you too you know. I mean yeah I was the girlfriend but you were the best friend. Wait a second; does this mean I have to give some sort of speech at the graduation?"

Haley couldn't help the smile that spread across her face or the laughter that escaped through her lips. She waited until she had recomposed herself before answering Brooke.

"Yes it does Brooke. But you can do it. I know you can. If you can kick ass and make it all the way up to number two in the class you can write a speech and give it at the graduation. Do it for Luke and Avery."

Brooke smiled. Do it for Luke and Avery? Yeah, she could handle that. She sat through math hoping that her dad and Ryan would be proud of her accomplishments like she was proud of herself. She had been through so much in the past few months it was amazing that she finished where she did in the class.

"All right, I'll do it. But only for Lucas and Avery, no one else."

Haley nodded. She was glad that Brooke was going to give a speech, even if it was only for Avery and Lucas. The two girls linked arms and walked out of the school building. It was just about time for the day to be over and they were meeting Peyton and Rachel and then going to the hospital to see Avery.

"Hey, it's Val and Sal," Peyton said with a crooked grin as Brooke and Haley approached her and Rachel.

"What?" Brooke asked, completely lost.

"Hales is valedictorian, hence the name Val. And you're salutatorian, hence the name Sal. So together you're Val and Sal."

Haley and Rachel were biting their tongues to keep from laughing at Brooke, but it was rather entertaining for them to think Brooke could be ranked number two in the class and still have no idea about some things. But they loved her anyway.

"Okay, stop picking on me. Let's go see my baby," Brooke said as she hopped into her car.

Brooke drove the four girls to the hospital. They got there in about seven minutes because she was so excited to tell Avery about the class rankings that had been announced. She hoped that even though he didn't understand what she was talking about that Avery would be proud of her anyway.

"I hope he's proud of me," Brooke said quietly as they got on the elevator to go to the NICU.

"Of course Luke's proud of you. I told you that already," Haley said as she rested her head on Brooke's shoulder.

"Not Luke, Hales. I was talking about Avery. I hope he's proud of me even though he has no idea what's going on."

"I'm sure he is. He knows you're his mommy and that you love him immensely. It would be a shame if he weren't proud of you. I know I am," Peyton said as she leaned her head against Brooke's other shoulder.

Rachel stood back and nodded in agreement. The three girls were proud of Brooke and they were convinced that Avery would be too. A smile broke out across Brooke's face as the elevator stopped on the fourth floor where the NICU was. She walked off quickly and practically ran through the hallway. A few hospital personnel had to tell her to slow down because she was going so fast. Haley, Peyton and Rachel followed behind her apologizing to people as they went but they couldn't help smiling at how eager Brooke was to get to Avery.

As soon as Brooke was at the door for the NICU she pushed it open and smiled brightly at the nurse who was sitting behind the desk.

"How has he been today?" Brooke asked as she paused to catch her breath.

"Excellent. Avery is quite the little fighter. Dr. Andrews wants to talk to you today before you head out," the nurse replied.

"Is everything okay? Should I be concerned?"

"No, I don't think so. In fact, you might really like what he has to say."

Brooke nodded as she grabbed a gown and gloves before going into the back. Haley, Peyton and Rachel all did the same and then followed Brooke to Avery's crib. They all stood around him looking down through the glass, smiling at the sleeping boy.

"Hey baby. I'm here now. I brought your Auntie Haley, Auntie Peyton and Auntie Rachel. They came to say hi. We can't wait until you're allowed to come home with me. It's going to be so much fun. Your Grandpa James bought us a new place to live and your Grandma Karen gave us all of your daddy's old baby furniture and some clothes. Oh and I can't forget that Grandpa Keith gave Mommy a new car. It's a Mustang convertible. If you're anything like your daddy was about cars you'll love it when you're old enough to appreciate it. And maybe, if it lasts long enough you can have it when you're older," Brooke said as she reached in through the multiple tubes and stroked Avery's cheek.

"Avery, Mommy's leaving out a very important tidbit. She was supposed to tell you that she was named the class salutatorian today. And she was scared you won't be proud of her. I think you are even though you don't know what it means right now. We all love you pal. Get stronger quick, little guy," Peyton said as Brooke stepped back a little.

"Okay, my turn," Rachel said with a smirk. Peyton backed up a little bit to give her some space so she could stand next to the crib.

"Hey, Avery, it's your Auntie Rachel. I wanted to tell you a quick story about your daddy and me. When I first got to Tree Hill, Mommy had just come back from spending time with your Uncle Ryan in California. Anyway, they weren't dating or anything but your dad wanted to give it another chance. Your mom was being stubborn like always but that's why we love her and she kept saying no. Then she finally said okay but it had to be non-exclusive. Anyway, during this time of their non-exclusive but secretly exclusive thing they had going on, I tried to get your dad to turn his eyes away from your mom and fall for me. It almost worked but then I saw something, your dad's eyes lit up with this sparkle anytime someone would mention your mom by name. I knew then that they were made for each other so being the sneaky girl I am, I managed to get them back together. Avery, your parents were the textbook definition of made for each other and I know he would have loved you very much and that your mom does love you very much. You can count on being the sunshine in her world and having her totally devoted to you. Some people will say she's lucky to have you for a son but I think you're lucky to have her for a mom. She's amazing and we all love her," Rachel said as she turned to Brooke and winked.

"Geez, the kid is two weeks old and you're already telling him that story?" Brooke asked as she stuck her tongue out at Rachel.

"Okay, you all had your fun talking to Avery. I want my turn," Haley said as she pretended to pout.

"Aw, Hales, you know I wouldn't jip you out of your quality time with your nephew. I didn't jip Peyt or Rach out of their time. So why would you get jipped?" Brooked teased.

"I'm not saying I'm getting jipped. I just want my turn." Haley's hand flew to her mouth as she realized she had been harsher than intended. She noticed that she was snapping more at people since Lucas had been shot and it bothered her but there didn't seem to be anything she could to stop it no matter how hard she tried.

"Hey, what's wrong Tutor Wife?" Brooke asked seriously as she placed a hand on Haley's arm.

"I don't know. I thought I was ready for this, you know, to see Avery but looking at him is like looking at a reflection of my best friend. Maybe I should come back later," Haley replied as a lone tear slid down her cheek.

"No, it's good that you're here. I know it's hard Hales because it's still hard on me sometimes. Every time I look at Avery it makes me miss Luke a little more than I did before. Sometimes I have to leave and come back because the pain grips too tight and I just wanna run away. If you need to go clear your head or something, then go for it. We'll be here for a while because I don't plan on leaving until they kick me out of here tonight."

Haley nodded as she turned and walked out of the NICU. She barely made it to the hallway before sliding down against the wall and sobbing in her hands. Ten minutes later, the tears were still falling but Haley had stopped sobbing. She got to her feet and started to make her way back to Avery before she changed her mind and ran to the elevator. Anxious to get away from the hospital Haley kept shifting her weight back and forth until the elevator finally stopped. As soon as it did she took off running and didn't stop until she was sitting in front of Lucas' grave sobbing again.

"Luke I can't do this anymore. I need you. Best friends are supposed to stick together forever. How could you leave me like that? I can't even look at your son without seeing you. Please, Luke. Come back to me. Come back to Brooke and to Avery. We all need you. Nobody knows how this feels for me. I grew up with you. I need my best friend, oh god, Luke. Please just come back," Haley cried.

Her cries were so loud that Haley didn't hear anyone come up behind her. She almost screamed when the person pulled her into an embrace but then she breathed in and relaxed as she recognized the cologne to be Nathan's.

"Baby what happened? Are you all right?" Nathan asked sweetly as he held Haley tighter.

"I went with the girls to see Avery and as soon as I looked down at him, I lost it. Nathan looking at Avery is like looking at Lucas. That was just too much for me. I couldn't handle it. Brooke, Peyton and Rachel talked to Avery no problem, but the minute I get my chance I lose it and leave. Oh god, Brooke must be freaking out right now," Haley replied as she furiously wiped tears out of her eyes.

"Well you're right about that. She actually called me to tell me you had left and that she was worried about you. She also said it's okay if you don't feel like going back to the hospital tonight. I think she also feels a little bit guilty for making you go to the hospital today. I told her not to worry about anything. She didn't do it to be mean, she just thought you'd enjoy seeing your nephew and I'm sure that's how you felt too."

"It was. Until I looked at him and it wasn't his face staring back at me but Luke's. Oh Nathan, I don't wanna never be able to look at Avery and see him as an individual. What if I always see Luke when I look at Avery? I didn't think it would still hurt so much to miss him but Avery certainly proved that wrong today."

Nathan squeezed Haley tightly into his chest and kissed her head. He wanted to take away her pain and make everything right again. But the only thing that would do the trick now was bringing Lucas back and Nathan knew that was impossible although he would if he knew how. Because he would do anything for love.

"Luke, please, just let Haley know it's okay to miss you. Show her that you'll always be in her heart because you were her best friend and even though you're gone now, she can carry that friendship with her always. Thanks man," Nathan said desperately as he looked toward the sky.

Haley whimpered softly beneath him and Nathan felt bad. That wasn't what his plea was supposed to do to Haley. Nathan wasn't trying to make her cry more, he just wanted her to know that no matter how she was feeling about Lucas' death, it was okay to let it show. And at the same time, it was okay for her to be happy and live her life the way Lucas would want her too.

Meanwhile back at the hospital. Dr. Andrews had come looking for Brooke. The two were in his talking while Peyton and Rachel stayed with Avery.

"Dr. what's going on? Is Avery all right?" Brooke asked, a worried look in her eyes.

"Avery's doing just fine, Brooke. As I'm sure you know, he's not fully developed but his lungs are getting a little stronger every day. Now I know you would love to take him home soon but it's going to be a while. I can't give you a date but I want him to stay here until he's about 6 ½ pounds. Maybe a little heavier," Dr. Andrews explained.

"How much does he weigh now?"

"3 pounds and 12 ounces, while his lungs are developing nicely the weight's not sticking as of right now."

"What can you do for that?"

"There's not much really. We don't want to over feed him and shock him. His body is so little that we can only give him small amounts of formula at a time. But I promise you, Avery will be a healthy little boy."

Brooke nodded. She didn't know what to say to that. The doctor was telling her that Avery hadn't put on a whole lot of weight since birth and that he wanted to keep the boy there until he was almost double in weight. Brooke was sure she couldn't wait that long for him to be home, she sighed as she realized that she didn't have much choice. Once again she was kicking herself for the poor choice she had made that landed Avery in this predicament.

"I'll let you get back to Avery. Don't hesitate to ask me any questions," Dr. Andrews said a few minutes later.

"Thank you," Brooke replied as she stood up to leave his office and go back to her son.


	14. Chapter 14

It was the day of the Tree Hill High graduation. Brooke was so excited she hardly slept the night before. Rachel had spent the night at Brooke's because she got into a fight with her parents about the baby and they threw her out.

"Rachel, get up. We graduate today," Brooke said excitedly as she bounced around the apartment.

Rachel groaned. She was not looking forward to getting up. Even though she was only about 3 ½ months pregnant Rachel felt like a balloon. And putting on the gown for graduation made her feel even worse. Finally, before Brooke could even think of coming in with ice water to dump on her Rachel got out of bed and made her way out to the kitchen. Even though the graduation ceremony wasn't till later in the day, they had stuff to do before then.

"Morning Rach. How'd you sleep?" Brooke asked cheerfully.

"Ugh, why are you so perky? Don't you know it's early?" Rachel replied as she held her head.

Brooke rolled her eyes and laughed at her friend who carefully flopped into a chair next to her at the table and then rested her head in her hands. The two girls had been spending a lot of time together lately.

"I could be little miss doom and gloom again if you want."

"No, no. Please don't. I'm just really tired and stressed out about the baby situation. I don't mean to be so cranky."

"You're not cranky Rach. You're pregnant and worried about what you're gonna do about college. Speaking of college, have you decided anything yet?"

Rachel shook her head. There was so much to think about and it made Rachel's head spin every time she tried to make a decision. Not only did she have a decision to make but Mouth did as well. Regardless, Rachel felt like her decision were a bit more intense only because she's the one carrying the child, not Mouth. Currently they weren't really talking either but Rachel didn't tell Brooke because she didn't want her to go after Mouth. Which she knew would happen if Brooke found out that they weren't talking.

"What about you? What are you doing about college? You have to do something. Lucas wouldn't want you to miss out on an opportunity."

"I know but honestly, thinking about college scares me. More than graduating high school does. Obviously I'm never leaving Tree Hill but I need to do something with my life. I desperately wanna be more than just a slug for a mom. But I know I'm also going to have to be Daddy too."

"Mouth can help out anytime and I'm sure Nathan will too."

"Speaking of Mouth, why aren't you two talking?"

Rachel's jaw dropped. She thought Brooke didn't know they weren't talking and now in two seconds that was proven to be false. It blew her mind to think that Brooke could pick up on certain things sometimes.

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't play innocent. I know you're not talking. What's up?"

"Nothing, everything is fine. It was a simple misunderstanding. Nothing to worry about."

Rachel couldn't look up the entire time she spoke. Brooke picked up on that and knew immediately Rachel had lied. Something serious was going on with her friends and she was determined to get to the bottom of it, whatever it was.

"Try again. And how about you go for the truth this time instead of a lie. What do you say?"

"I'm not lying Brooke!" Rachel continued to stare at the floor.

"If you're not lying, look me in the eye and say it."

Rachel couldn't make herself look at her friend. She knew Brooke would see right through her if she did look up.

"I can't."

"I know. What's going on?"

Brooke scooted her chair closer to Rachel and wrapped her into a hug. It broke her heart to know that Rachel was hurting but she didn't know why or how to help her.

"Mouth wants to go away to school but he also wants to stay here and help out with the baby and be there for me like he promised but he can't do both and the stress is really getting to him. He's acting like he's the only one affected by me being pregnant. It makes me feel like he doesn't real care and he was just saying all that stuff to calm me down. Well if he lied to me, Mouth will wish he was the one dead and buried."

"Rachel. It's going to be fine. Even if Mouth does go away which I'm sure he won't, you'll never be alone. I can help you with whatever you need and the same goes for Haley, Nathan and even Peyton would help. Now come on, it won't look good if the salutatorian is late for graduation rehearsal and whatever else we have going on."

"That's true but it would be true Brooke Davis style to be late when she really shouldn't be."

Brooke stuck her tongue out as she grabbed the keys to her Mustang and ran out of the apartment, leaving Rachel to get out the door by herself.

"Oh sure, leave the pregnant one alone to fend for herself on the stairs," Rachel yelled as she waddled down the stairs.

"You act like you're huge. Rach, honestly, you can hardly see you have a stomach yet. Now come on, really. I don't wanna be late," Brooke replied as she went back up to help Rachel.

"Hey I'm going fast as this little one will let me."

"Come on baby, Auntie Brooke doesn't wanna be late." Brooke looked directly at Rachel's growing stomach as she spoke which made Rachel crack up.

"It's okay baby, Auntie Brooke is just crazy and somehow now she suddenly doesn't want to be late when she's never wanted to be on time for anything else since I've known her."

"Ignore her. I'm not crazy. I'm just determined."

Rachel laughed. As true as that was for Brooke it was still funny that both girls were now talking to Rachel's stomach. Brooke opened the passenger door for Rachel and waited until she was all the way in before closing it and then going around to the driver side of the car and driving off toward the school. Even though the seniors didn't have to go to any classes they were meeting at the school first and then going from there. Brooke pulled into the student lot ten minutes later and she turned to Rachel before she shut the engine off.

"You need to talk to Mouth. If you want I'll go with you but you really need to work everything out. Nothing is gonna work itself out you know. Both of you need to stop and remember that it's not just your lives you're arguing about but also the life of your unborn child. I'm not telling you that it all has to be decided today but at least talk to each other. Do you really want to remember your graduation day as a day when you weren't talking to your boyfriend who is also the father of your child?" Brooke said in a completely serious tone.

"No. I wanna talk to him but I don't know if he wants to talk to me. He might be afraid to upset me or something. I don't know Brooke. What if we do talk and it makes things worse? I don't wanna remember graduation for that either. I want to enjoy it. With all my friends and especially my boyfriend who is the father of my unborn child. But if he won't talk to me then I won't enjoy it at all. This isn't fair. This wasn't supposed to happen this way. Mouth and I were always supposed to get along when it came to the baby and the future and now it's like we can't get along at all because all we've been talking about lately are those two things. What am I gonna do Brooke?" Rachel answered her as a tear rolled down her cheek.

Brooke smiled sadly at her friend. She wasn't sure exactly what Rachel should do but she didn't have the heart to say so when she saw the tears. Instead she reached over and grabbed Rachel's hand with her own and squeezed it gently.

"I'll help you with whatever you need. Now let's go over there. I see Mouth."

"Brooke, no. I can't talk to him. I'm not ready."

Rachel tried to pull away but Brooke didn't let her go. In fact, she had a tighter grip on Rachel now. Mouth watched from afar as he saw Brooke trying to get Rachel over to talk to him and Rachel was obviously fighting back. It broke his heart to know that his girlfriend, the mother of his unborn child, didn't want to talk to him. Or that someone had to force her into it. Just as he was about to turn and walk away Mouth felt someone put a hand on his shoulder. He turned slightly to see Haley standing behind him.

"Mouth, you'll work it out. You're both just scared and stressed out. Everything's gonna be fine. But I think maybe you should go to Rachel. Honestly I think more than anything right now she's afraid that you don't wanna talk to her and that fear is stopping her from coming over here and talking to you herself. Trust me, Mouth. It's all gonna be okay. Rachel just needs to know that you want to talk to her as much as she wants to talk to you," Haley said hoping that Mouth would listen and take her advice. It was killing her to watch him hurting as Rachel refused to talk to him.

"I don't know if I can talk to her. All we do is fight anymore and we weren't supposed to be like this. It was supposed to be easy talking to each other. But now she won't even come over here because she sees that I'm standing here. I just watched as Brooke tried to get her to come over here and she fought back. All this stress isn't good for the baby but if she won't come to me I'm afraid of what will happen if I try going to her. She might really freak out. I don't know what else to do. This is so hard. My dream school is hundreds of miles away but my girlfriend and my child are going to most likely be here, in Tree Hill. I can't just leave her here alone after I promised not to but I can't give up on my dream either," Mouth replied as he looked toward where Rachel was sitting on a picnic table between Brooke and Bevin with her head in her hands so Mouth could only guess that she was crying and it was because they were fighting that she was crying.

"Mouth your dreams can wait. Rachel needs you now."

Haley walked away as those last words rang in Mouth's head. _Rachel needs you now _Mouth said to himself as he continued to watch her breakdown.

"Dawg, if you don't get your skinny white ass over to your girl in five seconds I'm gonna beat it," Skills said as he walked over and put his arm around Mouth's shoulders.

"Thanks Skills. I appreciate that," Mouth replied as he tried to laugh but failed.

"I'm not kiddin dawg. Get over there. You know damn well that she's scared and the longer you stay away the worse it's gonna be for her."

"How the hell does everyone else know what my girlfriend needs but I don't have a clue?"

"Just cause you two aren't talking don't mean she doesn't talk to me. Besides that she's my girl's best friend. I know all about what goes on in Rachel's life. Even when I don't want to, except for the sex life, thank god."

Mouth couldn't help but laugh at that. At least Rachel kept some parts of her life to herself. Either that or Bevin didn't tell Skills because she didn't think he'd wanna hear about their friends' sex life. Whatever it was, he was glad that Skills was out of the loop in that part of his life.

"You're not still standing here acting all broody like another friend would do if it were Brooke in tears are you?" Skill asked as he slapped Mouth upside his head.

"Ow! What'd you do that for?" Mouth replied as he rubbed the back of his head where Skills had just slapped him.

"Just trying to knock some sense into your head. Did it work? Cause if not, I can always hit you harder."

"No way. I'm going."

Mouth walked toward the picnic table where it was just Rachel now. He stopped in front of her and cleared his throat hoping to get her attention. When that didn't work Mouth reached out and grabbed one of Rachel's small hands into his own before bringing it to his lips and kissing it lightly.

"Rachel," he said quietly.

She kept looking at the ground. There were tears in her eyes and she really didn't want Mouth to see them. It would just make talking to him harder than Rachel felt like it was already gonna be and she didn't need or want that.

"Please, baby, I know you don't want me to see your tears but look at me."

Rachel shook her head furiously. She was determined not to let Mouth see her crying. Even though she knew he had been watching before when Brooke and Bevin had been sitting on the bench with her.

"I get it Mouth. You've dreamt of going to MIT since you were a little boy. If that's what you want, fine go. I don't need you to stick around if you're only gonna do it because you feel like you have to. I want to be here because you want to be here. The baby and I don't fit into your dreams so don't try and force us in there and then make me believe that it's always been that way. Because you wanna know something? It hasn't always been like that. It's never been like that. You just wanna go off to college and do your own thing while I stay here and try to get through this pregnancy alone and then have our child alone. This is our child Mouth! Ours, I didn't climb on top of myself and get pregnant. You helped create this life, you need to man up and stay here and help raise this child with me," Rachel exploded.

By now the entire senior class was listening to them argue. A lot them stood there, mouths wide open, completely shocked. Some of them knew Mouth and Rachel had been arguing about the baby but they had never said a word about it during school to each other.

"You think I don't know that I need to help you raise this child? How the hell do you expect me to help if I don't go to school and get my degree so I can make us some money. Did you ever think of that Rachel?"

"Did you ever think that maybe you being hundreds of miles away earning that money doesn't mean shit to me if I don't see it and you can't guarantee that I would see it because you never know what could happen at any given time. So yes I did think about that, I just didn't think you'd leave town, no never mind, leave the state in order to do it. I guess I was wrong. I never should have trusted you when you said you weren't going anywhere. Because you not going anywhere has become 'I'm going to MIT Rachel'. Thanks for breaking your promise Mouth."

Rachel slapped Mouth hard across his cheek before getting off the bench and walking over to Brooke who was leaned up against a tree and collapsed into a hug.

"He's not staying. He's leaving. Why did I trust him?" Rachel cried into Brooke's shoulder.

"The hell he's not staying. Haley, come here a second," Brooke replied.

Haley walked over and switched with Brooke while she went over to talk to Mouth herself. Mouth looked up and saw Brooke walking toward him, an angry expression all over her face. He cringed when she stopped in front of him.

"You better not be leaving Mouth. If you do, I swear I will find you and kill you because at least then Rachel would know there was no possible way for you to be there for her and the baby. But if you go to MIT that's worse than you dying because if you're still alive you could be here but of course, god forbid you should put someone you love ahead of your dreams. I thought I knew you Mouth, I thought you were my friend but friends don't walk out on responsibility just because there's something else they would rather do. Especially not my friends. They know better, damn it Mouth, you know better! Rachel needs you, the baby needs you. I need you sometimes too but I guess we can all forget about having you around. Thanks Mouth, really. That's excellent," Brooke screamed. Then before she walked off, Brooke slapped Mouth on his other cheek.

"This is not how graduation day is supposed to go," Mouth muttered to himself.

Later that night, Mouth and Rachel still weren't talking and it seemed like everyone was mad at Mouth. Nobody seemed to be mad at Rachel because Heaven forbid someone actually yell at a pregnant girl and say something that might offend her. He didn't think it was fair that all the anger and the screaming was directed at him. Brooke walked over to Mouth and much to his surprise she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him. After he got passed the initial shock Mouth returned the hug.

"What was that for?" he asked.

"Because we shouldn't be fighting on our graduation day. I'm sorry I screamed at you earlier Mouth. I'm just so tired of seeing Rachel upset and knowing you had everything to do with it. I lost my temper when she came back in tears after I watched you scream at her. Which by the way you better not do that again or I will kick your ass. You can count on it," Brooke replied.

Mouth just gave her a half smile before walking off to find Rachel. He needed to apologize to her. They shouldn't be fighting like they were, they should be able to have normal conversations about everything. As soon as he spotted her the smile that was on her face disappeared. Mouth felt his heart drop into his stomach when he saw that happen.

"Don't you dare think that apologizing is going to fix anything," Rachel snapped.

"I don't. In fact, I know it's not gonna fix a thing. I'm not trying to fix anything right now. I just need you to know that I am sorry Rachel. I've been an asshole lately. And I never meant to hurt you. Can you forgive me?" Mouth replied.

"Why should I? You're leaving me here in Tree Hill to raise a baby alone after you promised you were never going anywhere."

"Believe me because I love you."

Rachel scowled. She had been desperately hoping that Mouth wouldn't use that as his reasoning but she should have known better. Mouth always did that when he felt bad about something. She really didn't want to cave in, she wanted to stay mad at him to show that saying I love you can't fix everything in their relationship.

"How can I believe you love me when you lied about staying? Tell me Mouth, how do I know you're not lying about that too?"

His heart fell again. This was gonna be much harder than he had anticipated. Rachel was generally pretty forgiving. Up until now apparently as Mouth was noticing. It wasn't that he blamed her but it still hurt to know that the things that used to work weren't even coming close now. A tear slid down his face and Rachel's anger flared up at that exact moment.

"NO! Don't you dare think about crying your way out of this. It's not gonna work. I'm not kidding Mouth. Don't do it."

"What do I have to do to make you believe that I'm sorry?"

"Stay."

"I can't stay."

"Then there's nothing else you can do. You broke your promise. Get away from me."

"Rach"

"No! I said get away from me."

"Please, don't be like this. It's not like I wanna leave and break my promise but I don't have a choice."

"Why not? Huh? Why don't you have a choice Mouth? Who's forcing you to leave and break the biggest promise you made to your pregnant _girlfriend_? Tell me. I'd like to know."

He shook his head. He didn't want to tell her that the only person making him go was himself because then she'd really be pissed and he didn't want that either.

"Fine, don't tell me. I don't really give a damn anyway."

Rachel was about to walk away but couldn't because the graduation march had started and they had to make their way out toward their seats. Thankfully Rachel had decided to sit with Brooke, Haley, Bevin and Peyton. Okay, Peyton wasn't Rachel's choice but if she was gonna sit with Brooke and Haley it meant also sitting with Peyton. Mouth sat with Skills and Nathan.

"Dude, what the hell is going on with you and Rachel today? Every time I see you together one of you is screaming at the other one. Are you guys okay?" Nathan asked as the three boys sat down.

"Oh yeah, everything's just great. If you count the fact that I have to go back on a promise in order to go to school so I can make some money for Rachel and the baby," Mouth replied.

"That's bull, dawg, you ain't gotta go to MIT to make money for them. Your skinny white ass needs to stay in town like you promised. Get a damn job and go to the tech for a while. But do not, I repeat, do not leave this state. I'm serious, if you leave I'll give Rachel a real reason to cry over you. I'll murder your ass," Skills said with an angry undertone. He was sick of Mouth upsetting Rachel lately and not really trying to make it better. Instead it kept getting worse.

"When the hell did you get so protective of my girlfriend?"

"The minute you were acting like a selfish ass. This isn't all about you anymore stop thinking like it is. Rachel can't go to school this semester because she's due around finals and that's too much stress for her and then you add to it by telling her you're breaking your promise not to leave her and you won't change your mind no matter how many times someone asks you too or Rachel cries."

Meanwhile, the girls were talking about anything but Mouth just to make sure they kept Rachel in good spirits. So far it seemed to be working. Or at least they thought it was working until Rachel looked behind them and locked eyes with Mouth. As soon as she did, she whipped her head back around and slammed her eyes shut hoping to push the tears back. She was determined not to cry over Mouth tonight. There had been too much of that through out the day and the past week. Rachel was surprised she had any tears left to cry.

"I will not cry for him. I will not cry for him," Rachel kept repeating quietly as she slowly opened her eyes again.

"Don't let him get to you. No matter what he makes you think, he really doesn't wanna leave. I think he's scared to stay and mess things up," Brooke whispered in Rachel's ear while Mr. Turner babbled from the stage.

Rachel nodded slowly. She desperately wanted to believe what Brooke said was true because then it meant that Mouth did still love her and wanna help but he was scared. Yeah, she really hoped that was Mouth's reason for saying he had to leave. Did it make her hurt any less? No, if Rachel thought about it, the fact that Mouth was running scared hurt more because if he was running it made her think he didn't love her enough to stay here and work through the fear with her.

Brooke was lost in her own thought next to Rachel. For the first time all day, she was able to focus on the fact that Lucas wasn't graduating with them like he should have been. He didn't even know his girlfriend was the salutatorian of the class or that his best friend was the valedictorian. Brooke desperately tried to keep the tears back but once she heard Mr. Turner mention the "tragic day that changed Tree Hill High forever" she lost it. Hearing someone else talk about her boyfriend dying was too much for her.

"Luke, it's not fair that you don't get to be here. You should be here, right next to me or over with the guys. But you're not. You're gone. Damn it. I didn't wanna cry tonight but I can't hold it back anymore. I wish you were here with us so much. I dunno if anything will ever be the same again," Brooke said under her breath as she continued to cry.

Brooke was in such a daze that she hadn't realized the principal had asked her to come up to the podium to deliver her speech. Not until Peyton and Rachel elbowed her in both sides. She jerked her head up and looked at them questioningly. They were pointing to the stage where Mr. Turner was motioning for her to take his place at the podium. Brooke took a deep breath before rising to her feet and walking up to the podium.

"Sorry to make y'all wait. Anyway, as you all know I've been through some rough stuff these past few months. It was hard getting out of bed and living knowing the one person I loved with all my heart and loved me back was gone. Sometimes it hurt to breathe, then not long after Lucas died, I found out I was pregnant. I thought great, another hurdle to get over. Another challenge to get through without the love of my life. But as the days go on I am learning that as hard as it is to live without Lucas, it's not impossible. Which leads me to the point of what I'm trying to say. Nothing is impossible. If you believe in yourself and have faith in your abilities, then you can do anything you set out to do. Never give up on the people you love and who love you back. Everybody's got somebody to love them. Thanks and congratulations to the seniors! We made it guys. Let's get this thing going," Brooke said as she stood at the podium, gripping its sides for deal life.

She didn't want to shed a single tear and somehow she had managed to keep herself composed. Carefully Brooke made her way down the steps and back to her friends. As soon as she sat down, they converged on her wrapping her into a hug. Nathan, Mouth and Skills had all whistled and hollered when she was done. If they had been sitting closer they too would have joined in on the group hug Brooke was lost in.

"Now I would like to ask this year's valedictorian, Miss Haley James-Scott to come up here. We've heard from the student who was number two now it's time to hear from the student who ranked at the top. Haley," Mr. Turner said after some old guy as Brooke referred to him was done yakking.

"I know you're all expecting some long and boring speech since it's my turn. But you're not getting that. Instead, I'm gonna do something a little bit different. I need some help from a few of my friends though. Brooke, Nathan, will you two come up here please," Haley said as she approached the podium.

The three of them stood on the stage. Ready to play the song that they had been practicing forever. After Haley knew for sure she was the valedictorian they agreed to play this song at the graduation in place of Haley writing a speech and putting everyone to sleep. Brooke was playing the keyboard, Nathan was on the drums and Haley was playing the guitar. She waited patiently for Nathan to count them down before she strummed the opening chord and then leaned toward the microphone to sing.

_So denied,_

_So I lied,_

_Are you the now or never kind_

_In a day and a day love_

_I'm gonna be gone for good again_

_Are you willing to be had,_

_Are you cool with just tonight?_

_Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well_

_Here's to the nights we felt alive_

_Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry_

_Here's to goodbye_

_Tomorrow's gonna come too soon_

_Put your name on the line_

_Along with place and time_

_Wanna stay not to go,_

_I wanna ditch the logical_

_Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well_

_Here's to the nights we felt alive_

_Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry_

_Here's to goodbye_

_Tomorrow's gonna come too soon_

_All my time is frozen motion_

_Can't I stay an hour or two or more_

_Don't let me let you go_

_Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well_

_Here's to the nights we felt alive_

_Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry_

_Here's to good bye_

_Tomorrow's gonna come too soon_

_Here's to the nights we felt alive_

_Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry_

_Here's to good bye_

_Tomorrow's gonna come too soon_

Nathan crashed his drumsticks on the cymbals one more time and then the entire audience, graduating seniors and all the administrators who were in attendance applauded the three teens thunderously.

"Goodbye Tree Hill High, we love you!" Haley said before she turned to get down from the stage.

Brooke and Nathan followed Haley down the steps where they all wrapped each other into a tight embrace.

"The only thing missing now is Luke. I wish he could have been here to do that with us," Haley said somberly.

"Hey, he's not missing. Remember, Hales, we have Luke in our hearts and thoughts always. Maybe nobody could see him but they all know we took our fallen friend, brother and love up onto that stage with us just now," Nathan said as he squeezed Haley a little tighter.

"Nate's right Hales. As hard as it is to miss Lucas right now, he's still with us and every single person that's here tonight knows it. They know that out of everyone in this school it was you, Nathan and myself that were hit the hardest by Lucas' death. We've made it this far now let's go get our diplomas and make him even prouder," Brooke chimed in.

Haley nodded in response. Nathan gave each of the girls one more hug before they split up to go back to their seats.

Meanwhile in the audience…James and Ryan Davis, Keith and Karen, Lydia and Jim James, Deb Scott and Larry Sawyer were smiling. It was wonderful to see that the three teens were pulling themselves together and making it through another tough night. Most of them knew how proud Lucas was of them. Some, mostly James and Ryan would never know unless they asked which they decided that after the ceremony they would talk to Brooke.

"And now the moment you've all been waiting for. Seniors please rise," Mr. Turner said once he was at the podium again. The entire class rose to their feet.

"Abigail Joan Brown…Brooke Penelope Davis…John Allen Ferris…Rachel Colleen Gattina…Marvin Joseph McFadden…Cedric Tanner Marshall…Bevin Anne Maskey…Brandon Christian Roth…Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer…Haley Marie James-Scott…Nathan Bryan Scott…Timothy Clayton Smith…Fergus Cornell Thompson…and finally Marcus Luis Vasquez," Mr. Turner announced as each student approached the podium to receive their diploma. He waited until they were all back to their chairs before speaking again.

"Haley, as valedictorian I would like to ask you to do one more thing for your fellow seniors. Please lead them in moving their tassles," Mr. Turner spoke again.

Haley walked back to the podium and made sure everyone was paying attention.

"All right guys, this is the moment we've been waiting for all night long. Are you ready? Everyone grab your tassle and move it from right to left **(A/N: I forget which way it's supposed to go so if it's backwards please don't shoot me!)**," Haley said as she too did what she was asking.

"Congratulations to the Tree Hill High graduating class of 2006!" Mr. Turner yelled.

Everyone threw their cap in the air and they were screaming and hollering. They made it. High school was over and they all made it through. _All of us except Lucas_ Brooke thought to herself as she threw her cap in the air again.

_Wow…that was the longest chapter yet! I hope ya'll enjoyed it. Anyway…the song is "Here's to the Night" by Eve 6 just in case you were wondering. Please leave me the love! Peace out kids. _


	15. Chapter 15

The day was July 28, 2006. Mouth and Rachel had barely been talking since their big blow up the day of their graduation. Rachel was still staying with Brooke at the apartment and had been moping around for days. Presently she was alone in the apartment while Brooke was at the hospital with Avery. Mouth was supposed to be taking her to a doctor's appointment that afternoon but every time she called to make sure he hadn't forgot Rachel would get his voicemail. It was now 12:45 and the appointment was at 2:00. She didn't want to call Brooke away from Avery. She couldn't call Skills or Bevin because they were out in Colorado visiting Bevin's brother and his wife. The more time ticked off the clock the more it made Rachel angry. Mouth was supposed to be there for her and the baby and right now he was doing a lousy job of it.

"It's all right baby, Mommy won't abandon you—ever. I promise," Rachel said softly as she laid a hand on her stomach.

Rachel was about to give up and call Brooke when her phone rang. She was disappointed when she looked down and saw that it was Haley and not Mouth.

"Hello," she said.

"Hey Rachel. It's Haley. Brooke called and asked me to find out if you've gotten a hold of Mouth yet," Haley said.

"No I haven't. But please, tell Brooke I don't wanna call her away from Avery because my boyfriend is being an ass."

"You're not calling her away. Nathan and I will come get you. And if by some miracle Mouth decides to call or show up, then okay. But for now, just plan on seeing us. We'll pick you up at 1:30."

"Thanks Haley. I appreciate that. Oh and could you tell Brooke not to pick up anything for dinner, I'm taking care of it tonight whether she likes it or not."

"Sure I can but I can't promise she'll listen."

"Yeah I know. See you later."

"All right, bye Rachel."

Rachel closed her cell phone and opened it again. Her blood was boiling. Mouth wasn't just making this hard on her now but he was inconveniencing all of their friends as well. It was time for that to stop.

"Hey it's Mouth. Leave me something good and I'll get back to you."

"Mouth, it's Rachel, again. I think this is the fifth time I've called you today. Anyway I just wanted you to know that you don't have to worry about picking me up for the appointment because once again Nathan and Haley are gonna take me. I really appreciate your willingness to be there for me and for this baby. Oh and just so you know, today I'm finding out if the baby is a boy or a girl but I'm not gonna tell you. And don't tell me I have to because I don't have to do shit for you when you've been breaking promises and dodging my calls for over a month now. I should have known not to depend on you. You're just like all the rest. Thanks for that. I thought you were different, I thought you better. Boy was I wrong. Good bye," Rachel spat angrily.

She slammed her phone shut and threw it across the room. It hit the wall above the couch and landed in the middle of it. Rachel walked down the hall to change into something a little more presentable then an oversized t-shirt and men's boxers. She grabbed a pair of red velour exercise pants and a white maternity top. Looking at her reflection in the mirror Rachel smiled contentedly at herself.

"Just cause I'm pregnant doesn't mean I have to look gross," she mused.

The hard part was find shoes. Her stomach was big enough now that tying shoes was impossible and wearing heels were dangerous. Carefully she rifled through hers and Brooke's flip flops until she found a pair of red ones. She was just finished putting on the second flip flop when she heard the door opening.

"Rachel!" she heard Haley's voice call.

"In the bedroom!" Rachel shouted back.

Haley made her way through the apartment and stopped in the doorway of the bedroom.

"You know, I could have made a comment about that," she said with a grin.

"Shut up. Let's just go. I left Mouth a voicemail after I talked to you. I told him not to bother coming," Rachel said with a grin of her own.

"I'm sorry sweetie. Oh and we're under strict orders to bring you straight to the hospital when you're appointment is done. Brooke wants to see you and make sure you're okay."

"It's sad that she cares more about how I'm doing and this baby then Mouth does."

Haley didn't know how to respond to that. But she did agree. It was sad that Mouth, who had said he was going to stick by Rachel's side, was suddenly no where to be found. She decided right then as soon as they dropped Rachel off at the hospital she was gonna find Mouth and give him a piece of her mind.

"Come on, let's go. Nate's waiting downstairs," Haley said as she tried to be upbeat.

"Okay," Rachel agreed. She grabbed her purse and her cell phone and followed Haley out the door. She would have locked to door but Haley had already taken care of it. The two girls made their way down the steps and into the car where Nathan sat tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.

"How bad do I have to kick Mouth's ass now?" he asked.

"Nate, no. Don't be like that. Yes it's annoying and it hurts but don't kick his ass," Rachel insisted.

"Rach, this is the third appointment he's missed. In a row. That's not right. He should be the one taking you, not me and Hales. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to help but I shouldn't have to be taking you to the doctor's all the time. Mouth is plenty capable of doing that himself. What's his excuse this time?"

"I don't know. I kept getting his voicemail. I told him not to bother showing up this time and that I'm finding out the sex of the baby but because he can't be bothered to go with me, I'm not telling him."

"Good. You're right. If he can't be bothered to go he doesn't deserve to be told. I don't care if he is the baby's father. He's certainly not acting like it."

"Okay, enough talk about Mouth. It's making me hurt more."

"I'm sorry."

"You didn't mean it. I know you're just angry at him too. Everyone is."

Nathan nodded silently. He didn't want to say anything else to make Rachel more upset but he vowed to himself then when he got the chance, he was gonna beat the hell out of Mouth. The way he's been treating Rachel was making Nathan physically sick to think about it. It almost reminded him of how Dan treated Karen when she was pregnant with Lucas. Dan ran out on Karen to follow his dreams but ended up getting Deb pregnant and then they got married and the three of them became a family. _If you could call us a family that is _Nathan thought bitterly to himself. He was determined not to let Rachel go through all the shit he saw Karen go through with Dan.

"Hales you go ahead in with Rachel. I'll be there in a minute," Nathan said as he parked the car.

"Are you sure? What's the matter?" Haley replied skeptically.

"I'm sure. I just need a minute. But I promise I'll be right there."

"Okay. Come on Rach."

Haley helped Rachel out of the car and they walked into the building, arms linked. Nathan watched them for a minute and as soon as they were out of view he pulled out his cell phone. It was his turn to call Mouth. He had been real good about not calling him but now that was over. Mouth had pushed Nathan over the edge this time.

"Hey, it's Mouth. Leave me something good and I'll get back to you."

"Mouth it's Nate. What the hell is going on with you man? It's not like you to run from responsibility. If you really love Rachel and the baby you'll stop hiding from everyone and man up. Cause if you don't I swear to god I'll kick the living shit out of you. Rachel's my friend and I hate to see her in pain like this. She needs you Mouth. Get your act together man. This isn't a game. I know you've got dreams, everybody has them. But sometimes you have to sacrifice those dreams to do what's right. And let me tell you, it's not right that you dodge her phone calls. I don't care that you're dodging my call right now. But I do care that you never pick up the damn phone when Rachel calls you! That's just wrong dude. If you don't call me back by tonight I'll find you. And you won't like it. Peace dude," Nathan said in one angry breath.

He collected himself before going in to join Rachel and Haley as promised. He didn't think they should see him angry, it would only make Rachel more upset and that was the last thing Nathan wanted for her. He just hoped Mouth would call him back.

Meanwhile…Mouth was walking around Boston trying to figure out how he was gonna tell everyone that he was going to MIT. He knew it was gonna cause a big fight and probably end his relationship with Rachel but he just couldn't give up on MIT. He couldn't give up on Jimmy. They were supposed to go to MIT together but now that Jimmy was dead it couldn't happen. Mouth had to make sure at least one of them were there. Even if it meant running from Rachel and the baby; he hated doing it but he felt like he had to. He took his cell phone out of his pocket and saw that there were 6 voicemail messages. His heart dropped into his stomach as he wondered if they were all from Rachel or if maybe something was wrong with Rachel.

"Oh god, what am I doing?" Mouth asked himself aloud.

He opened his phone to listen to the messages. The first five were from Rachel. The last one was from Nathan. The first three from Rachel weren't terribly angry but the last one, he knew she was pissed. And then he heard Nathan's voice and what he said and he knew he had to do something quick. Before someone went looking for him and found out he wasn't there. With his hands shaking nervously Mouth dialed Nathan's cell phone. He groaned when it went to voicemail.

"Yo it's Nate. Leave me some love. Peace out."

"Nate, it's Mouth. I got your message. You won't find me because I'm not in Tree Hill. That's all I'm gonna say. Tell Rachel I'm sorry," Mouth said.

Back in Tree Hill at the doctor's office. Rachel, Haley and Nathan were sitting in the waiting area patiently waiting for someone to call Rachel's name when Nathan felt his phone vibrate. He took it out of his pocket but as soon as he did it stopped ringing.

"Shit," he said softly.

"Who was it?" Haley asked curiously.

Nathan opened the phone and showed it to Haley.

"Mouth," she said quietly.

Nathan just nodded. Obviously his voicemail struck a nerve with Mouth. Nathan felt it vibrate again, this time to let him know there was a voicemail. He opened his phone to listen and felt his blood boil as he heard Mouth say that he wouldn't find him because he wasn't in Tree Hill and then Nathan got even angrier when he heard Mouth asking him to apologize to Rachel for him. He was about to get up and go call Mouth back when a nurse came out and said, "Rachel Gattina." The three of them rose to their feet and followed the nurse into a room.

"The doctor will be with you in a minute. But first let me check your vitals," she said as Haley and Nathan helped Rachel onto the bed.

When the nurse was done and had left the room Rachel looked at Nathan. She knew his phone had gone off in the waiting room but she didn't know who it was but something told her to ask him.

"Nate who called you before?" she asked.

"It was my mom," Nathan lied. He felt bad lying to Rachel but he didn't want to be the one to tell her that Mouth was gone. He felt that Mouth should do it himself and there was no way Nathan was gonna apologize for Mouth.

Rachel was about to say something again when the doctor walked into the room.

"Rachel, nice to see you again," Dr. Cole said with a smile.

"You too Dr. Cole," Rachel replied sweetly.

"How are you feeling lately?"

"Much better, I think this little one decided it was time for morning sickness to end."

"I'm glad to hear that. If I remember right you said that you want to know the sex of the baby?"

"Yes."

"Mouth couldn't make it today?" Dr. Cole asked when he saw Nathan and Haley rather than Mouth sitting in the plastic chairs.

"No. He's not feeling well so I told him to stay home and rest," Rachel replied.

"Well that's a shame. I hope he's well enough to come next time."

"Me too."

Nathan and Haley felt horrible that Rachel felt she had to lie to the doctor about where Mouth was. They looked at each other and shook their heads. It was tough to watch Rachel go through this again. Today was the third appointment that one or both of them had been to with Rachel. Before that Brooke had gone with Rachel.

"All right, well I'm gonna go get the sonogram machine. I'll be right back," Dr. Cole said before he left the room.

"Nate, it wasn't your mom was it?" Rachel asked suddenly.

"What?" he replied.

"The phone call earlier. Your mom didn't call. Who was it?"

"Rachel, don't do this to yourself."

"Nathan, please, if it was Mouth I need to know."

"It was."

"What did he say? Did he say where he is? Why hasn't he answered my calls?"

"All he said was he got my message and I won't find him cause he's not in Tree Hill and then he asked me to tell you he's sorry."

"That little prick. He went to Boston. I know he did. That's why he won't pick up when I call him. He doesn't wanna have to worry about getting caught in a lie. I'm such an idiot. I never should have trusted him to stay by my side."

Haley was about to say something but Dr. Cole came back in with the machine. She closed her mouth and made sure not to forget what she was going to say so she could tell Rachel later.

"Are we ready to find out if this little one is a boy or girl?" Dr. Cole asked after he had helped Rachel lay back.

"Absolutely," Rachel said as she smiled.

"Remember, the gel is cold."

Rachel nodded. She gasped when she felt the substance come in contact with her skin. Her head was turned so she could see the baby on the screen and her eyes lit up when she spotted the baby. Nathan and Haley watched in silent awe as the baby moved on the screen. Dr. Cole moved the wand around on Rachel's stomach as he tried to get the baby to turn so he could determine the sex.

"Come on baby," Rachel coaxed, "turn for Mommy."

As soon as the words were out of her mouth, the baby turned. Dr. Cole smiled as he took a close look.

"How do you feel about boys Rachel?" he asked.

"I like them just fine," Rachel replied.

"I'm glad to hear that and I'm sure your son is too."

"It's a boy?"

Dr. Cole nodded. Rachel smiled but she couldn't help the tears that had formed in her eyes. The baby was a boy and unless Mouth came to his senses, she was never gonna tell him that he has a son. Just thinking about that made the tears roll down her cheeks. Haley saw this and was next to Rachel, holding her hand on instinct.

"It's a boy, Haley. A boy," Rachel said with a sad smile.

"I know. He's a lucky boy," Haley answered with a smile of her own.

"Yeah, Rach. He's one lucky boy. When he's older, him and Avery can be best buddies. Or whatever. You and Brooke can help each other out and obviously, Hales and I will help out too," Nathan said as he stood up to go give Rachel a hug, which was almost impossible but they made it work.

Ten minutes later, the three of them were out in the car. Rachel had a stack of pictures of her son clasped tightly in her hands. They were going to the hospital to see Brooke and Avery.

"What are you going to name him?" Haley asked cautiously.

"We were thinking about Lucas Scott but I dunno. It might change now," Rachel answered.

"Are you gonna tell Mouth it's a boy?"

"I wasn't, but the more I think about it, the more I know it's wrong to keep that from him. Even if he is being an ass, he still deserves to know the sex of his child."

"You're nicer than I'd be."

Rachel laughed. She found that hard to believe. Haley didn't have a mean bone in her body.

"Hales you're crazy. Nobody is nicer than you," Nathan said with a lopsided grin.

"You're married to me you have to say that."

"Even if we weren't married I'd still say it. So you're wrong, I don't have to I choose to because I know it's true."

Rachel laughed as she listened to them go back and forth. Was she being too nice? Did Mouth really deserve to know that the baby is a boy? Rachel was beginning to have doubts. Maybe she should just keep it to herself. _No, don't be stupid. You know he deserves to know. Just call him and tell him. Maybe that's all he needs is to hear you still think he deserves to know and he'll come back. Yeah, but then again maybe he won't come back _Rachel thought to herself.

Brooke was up in the NICU watching Avery sleep. She had been there all morning. And Avery had been asleep for most of that time. Dr. Andrews had been in to check on Avery a few times and told Brooke that if he gained about 6 ounces they were going to see how he did without a breathing tube. Hearing that news excited her immensely. If they were close to taking the breathing tube that meant she would be able to take him home soon.

"Baby, just gain some more weight for Mommy. If you can do that then you can come home with me soon. And I would really love that. Auntie Rachel has been staying with me lately. Speaking of Auntie Rachel, she should be here soon. Auntie Haley and Uncle Nathan took her to the doctor so she could find out if you're gonna have a boy or girl cousin," Brooke said as she stroked Avery's cheek gently.

He stirred a little bit and slowly opened his eyes. They shone bright blue when he recognized Brooke sitting there and then slowly a tiny smile crept up into his eyes. Brooke loved to see Avery's face light up when he looked at her. It was as if he knew who she was and that made her feel good. She was still sitting there staring at her little boy when she heard footsteps behind her and then felt someone's arms around her neck.

"It's a boy," Rachel whispered excitedly in Brooke's ear.

"Rachel! Aww, I'm so excited for you!" Brooke squealed as she turned around and wrapped Rachel into a hug.

"How's my nephew?"

"He's been sleeping a lot today but he just woke up. Oh and guess what?"

"What?"

"Dr. Andrews said if Avery gains another 6 ounces or so they're going to remove the breathing tube and see how he does on his own. Which means, if he does well I can take him home soon. I've been waiting so long for this."

"That's awesome Brookie! Good job Avery. Way to make Mommy happy."

"I know. Okay so tell me, what's my nephew's name gonna be?"

"Well Mouth and I thought about Lucas Scott but I'm not sure I want that now. I was kinda thinking maybe you could help me?"

"Of course I'll help you. We'll go get a baby name book later and we can get Haley and Peyton to come over and we'll look through it."

"Sounds good to me. You don't think Peyton will get jealous of all the time you've spent with me lately do you?"

"No I think she understands that you and I have this unique bond that's different from what her and I have. The only thing I'll never understand is why she didn't get jealous of my friendship with Haley."

"Maybe because she likes Haley?"

"I never thought of that."

"No kidding."

Brooke stuck her tongue out at Rachel who stuck her tongue out at Brooke. They continued to stick their tongues out at each other for a good five minutes before they were interrupted by Rachel's cell phone. Her heart skipped a beat when she recognized Mouth's ring tone.

"I'll be right back," she said as she jumped to her feet and ran out to the waiting room.

"Please don't hang up, please don't hang up," she said as she dug through her bag for her phone.

"Hello," she said when she finally reached it.

"Rachel?" Mouth said nervously.

"Where have you been and why are you ignoring my calls?"

"I need to tell you something but I need you not to hate me."

"Mouth I don't hate you I'm just pissed off that you haven't been around. Oh and don't bother, I know you're in Boston. Nate told me you left him a voicemail that said he won't find you cause you're not in Tree Hill. I'm not stupid I know that means you went to Boston."

"Rachel, don't be like that. Please."

"Don't be like what? Don't be upset that the one person I thought I could count on bailed out on me? No, Mouth, you don't get to tell me I have no right to be upset. Cause I do, I have every damn right to be upset and I don't care if you don't like it. It's because of you that I'm upset in the first place."

"I'm sorry Rachel. For everything."

"Sorry doesn't fix a damn thing Mouth. I want the truth and I want it now. Why are you going to MIT? And don't tell me because it's a dream."

Mouth swallowed hard. She was gonna hate this but he owed her the truth after everything he had been putting her through.

"Because Jimmy and I"

"You gotta be kidding me! You're bailing on me because of something you and Jimmy were supposed to do? Mouth do you not remember the reason Lucas is dead?" Rachel interrupted angrily.

"I know Jimmy shot Lucas. I know that Rachel. But Jimmy was my friend too. I can't ignore that just because of what happened."

"But you think that makes leaving me alone to take care of your son okay? You promised you wouldn't leave me. It's nice to know the dead mean more to you than living."

Rachel slammed her phone shut and walked back to sit with Brooke. She flopped into the chair angrily and Brooke turned to look at her.

"What happened?" Brooke asked gently.

"He went to Boston. And do you wanna know why?" Rachel answered.

"I'm not sure I do. But you can tell me if you want to."

"He went to Boston because of some stupid deal that he had with Jimmy."

"What?"

"I know. I yelled at him. I can't believe he's being like this. I get it that he was friends with Jimmy but he was friends with Lucas too."

"Can you sit here with Avery for a minute?"

"Yeah sure. Where are you going?"

"To call Mouth. I've been good about not calling him it's time to change that."

Rachel nodded. She knew that Brooke was trying not to get involved but there was no way she could stop her friend from calling Mouth now. And she wasn't gonna try to either. Brooke stormed into the waiting area and whipped out her cell phone and angrily dialed Mouth's cell phone number.

"She told you, didn't she?" Mouth said as he answered the phone.

"Yes she told me. What the hell are you thinking? You're ditching your pregnant girlfriend to honor some deal you made with that asshole who killed my boyfriend? That's really low Mouth, especially for you," Brooke snapped.

"You wanna know something? I'm really sick of everybody calling me to bitch at me for making a choice. I'm sorry if you don't like it but this is how it's gonna be. End of story."

"Do you think I'm gonna feel bad for you?"

"No I know you're not. Tell Rachel"

"I'm not telling Rachel a damn thing for you! If you think I'm gonna be your messenger you're wrong. You want her to know something you call her and tell her yourself."

Brooke didn't care if Mouth had anything else to say. She slammed her phone shut and went back to see Avery.

"Avery, I hope you know how much your mommy loves you," Brooke heard Rachel saying to Avery as she walked in and sat next to her friend.

"Come on, let's go. We need to talk," Brooke said gently.

"Don't you wanna spend some more time with Avery?" Rachel asked as she turned her attention to Brooke.

"We'll come back tomorrow. Right now you and I need to go out."

Rachel nodded. She knew it wasn't good for either one of them to stay couped up in the hospital all day long. Avery wasn't going anywhere and it wasn't like nobody else went to visit him. Rachel knew that Nathan and Haley were there as much as they could be. The same was true for Karen and Keith.

"Ave, Mommy and Auntie Rachel will be back tomorrow. You be a good boy for the doctors and nurses. I love you baby boy," Brooke said as she reached her hand into the crib and stroked his hair.

"Bye Avery. See you tomorrow pal. I love you," Rachel said as she waved at the baby who lie sleeping in the crib.

The two girls linked arms and walked out to Brooke's car. They were back at the apartment a half hour later, after stopping to pick up some baby name books, waiting for Peyton and Haley to come over. They thought that going through baby name books was a great idea. Brooke was in the bedroom changing when the two girls walked in.

"Hey Rachel," Haley said as she walked over and hugged the girl.

"Hey," Peyton said as she sat in the chair.

"Brooke! Get your butt out here!" Haley yelled after she asked Rachel where she was at.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," Brooke said as she walked into the room with two books in her hand.

After the four girls tossed around some names they came up with a list of possibilities; not including the original thought of naming the baby Lucas Scott. On the list were Trevor Michael, Dean Jeffrey, Riley Adam and Shane Everett.

_Okay so you guys decide…what name do you like the most (not counting Lucas Scott)? After I get the results of this I'll ask again between whatever you decide and Lucas Scott and whatever gets the most love will be the baby's name. Hope you enjoyed the chapter! _


	16. Chapter 16

Brooke woke up with a start. Another two months had gone by, and today was the day she had been waiting for during the last four months. She was going to the hospital to bring Avery home. There were no words to describe how excited Brooke was to finally be allowed to take her son home with her. But first, before they went home Brooke was taking Avery to the cemetery. She had wanted Rachel and Peyton to go with her but Rachel had told her that she wasn't feeling up to it. Brooke understood so she got dressed quickly and then sped off to Peyton's so they could go get Avery. Less than five minutes later Brooke was in Peyton's driveway blaring the horn. The faster she got to the hospital the faster she could take Avery home.

"Peyton, let's go!" Brooke yelled when she saw her friend walking slowly out the door with a grin on her face.

"I'm coming I'm coming. Hold your horses chick," Peyton yelled back.

"I can't. I'm too excited. Now come on."

"Where's Rachel?"

"She's not coming. She wasn't feeling too good. It's just you and me today."

"Okay. Cool. Well are you gonna drive or what?"

Brooke stuck her tongue out at Peyton before she backed out of the driveway and sped toward the hospital. She wasn't in a mood to care about speed limits and cops; all Brooke wanted to do was get to the hospital. It took her about six minutes before she was pulled into a spot. She turned off the engine and grabbed Avery's car seat from the back and his Tree Hill Ravens basketball outfit that Nathan and Haley bought for him. Peyton had to run to keep up with Brooke but she was glad to see her best friend smiling, and I mean genuinely smiling. Lucas had been dead for about seven months and Peyton couldn't think of another time in that seven months when she saw a true smile grace Brooke's lips.

Brooke finally stopped running when she reached the fourth floor and waited for Peyton to catch up with her. She hadn't meant to get so far ahead of her friend but her excitement was obviously getting the best of her.

"Sorry Peyt. I didn't mean to leave you behind," Brooke said after getting her breath back.

"It's okay Brookie. I know you're excited," Peyton replied.

Brooke just nodded. Then turned to the nurse with a big smile.

"Here to get Avery I assume?" the nurse asked as she returned the smile.

"I am. I'm so glad too," Brooke answered.

"Go for it. Dr. Andrews will be in to talk to you one last time before you can go. I'll let him know you're here."

"Thanks so much."

Brooke and Peyton put the gloves and the gowns on one last time and then walked out back. It made Brooke happy to see her son in a crib without any tubes or needles attached to his small body. She put the car seat on the floor and lifted Avery out of the crib into her arms. She pulled him in close and leaned down to place a kiss on his forehead. Then Peyton motioned for her to turn around and as soon as she did Peyton snapped a picture of mom and son. Brooke had just finished putting the basketball shorts on Avery when Dr. Andrews walked in. Brooke looked up at him and smiled.

"Hey Brooke. I see you're ready to take Avery home," Dr. Andrews greeted her warmly.

"More than you can imagine. I've waited so long for this day. Angie said you wanted to talk to me before I leave. What's up?" Brooke replied as she cradled Avery tightly in her arms.

"I just wanted to let you know that even though Avery is healthy enough to be going home with you today doesn't mean he's completely out of the woods yet. I don't want to alarm you but there could be health problems that we can't detect at this point. So what I would like is for you to bring Avery in once a month so I can check and make sure everything still looks good. I'm sure you want to have a healthy baby boy and I want that for you as well."

"Okay, check ups once a month. Got it, anything else?"

"Just make sure you take good care of this little guy and I'll let you be on your way."

"Thanks for everything Dr. Andrews. I really appreciate it."

"It's my pleasure. It's not everyday a child born under the circumstances Avery was born get to leave the hospital looking happy and healthy. You are one lucky girl. Take care Brooke."

Dr. Andrews patted Brooke on the shoulder before walking away. Brooke squealed happily as she hugged Avery and then wrapped Peyton into a hug.

"Come on, Avery. There's someone very important I want you to meet," Brooke said to her son as she placed him in his car seat and then picked it up off the floor.

"Where are we going?" Peyton asked as they walked out to the car.

"The cemetery, I promised Lucas as soon as I could take Avery home I would bring him to the cemetery first so he could meet Daddy," Brooke replied.

Peyton nodded as she reached over to squeeze Brooke's hand. She couldn't imagine how hard this was going to be for Brooke but she was glad that she was doing it anyway. Brooke buckled Avery's car seat into the back of her Mustang and then got in the driver seat. She wanted to ride with the top down but she wasn't sure if that was good for Avery and opted to put the top up and the windows down.

Five minutes later Brooke had parked the Mustang near the entrance of the cemetery. Presently, Peyton had taken to getting the stroller out of the trunk while Brooke unbuckled the car seat. Then she carried the seat over to Peyton and locked it place. As soon as she was positive Avery wasn't gonna fall out and get hurt, Brooke began pushing the stroller closer to Lucas' grave. From where they were Brooke couldn't see that there was already someone sitting in front of the stone until she was on top of it. Karen was sitting with her head in her hands crying softly. Brooke stopped abruptly and Peyton almost smacked right into her.

"What the"

"Shh, Karen's here. Let's just come back later. I don't wanna make her think she has to leave because I'm here and I brought Avery," Brooke said quietly.

"Brooke I don't think she would feel like she couldn't stay. Just go say hi," Peyton reasoned with her friend.

Brooke took a deep breath before walking toward Karen. As soon as she was on the grass Brooke sat next to Karen and rested her head on the woman's shoulder. She hadn't even introduced Avery to Lucas yet and already Brooke felt the tears welling up in her eyes. Karen lifted her head from her hands when she felt the weight on her shoulder. A small smile played on her lips when she saw that it was Brooke. She lifted an arm and pulled Brooke into a hug. The two of them sat there as the tears rolled down their faces. Peyton watched from behind the stroller as she felt tears welling up in her own eyes and then spill over.

"Hey Brooke, Avery's getting fussy," Peyton said quietly when Avery started to cry.

"Oh come here, baby," Brooke said as she rose to her feet and took Avery out of the stroller.

Karen and Peyton watched Brooke interact with Avery and neither of them could help the smiles that were on their faces.

"What's the matter buddy? Are you hungry?" Brooke asked as Avery's crying grew louder, "Shh, it's okay Avery. Mommy's got you. You're okay baby. Here, why don't we go talk to Daddy?"

Brooke sat in front of Lucas' grave with Avery in her lap. Much to her surprise as soon as she was sitting down Avery stopped crying. She shifted slightly and reached to touch the headstone with one hand while she held Avery tightly in her other arm.

"Avery, this is your daddy. He was one of the greatest people I have ever known in my life. When it felt like all the world was coming down on me, he would be right there to pick me up and carry me away from the darkness. Your daddy was a wonderful man. I know if he could be here with us right now he would love you more than I could ever describe to you. Avery, this is a great opportunity for me to introduce you to your daddy and I would also like to tell you that even though you won't get to meet him, you'll always have a special bond with him because you were born on Daddy's birthday," Brooke said as she leaned down to kiss Avery's forehead, "Luke, this is our little boy. This is Avery Lucas Scott. I gotta tell you it's no surprise to me that when I look at this little boy I see you. If he's anything like you as a teenager I'm gonna be in so much trouble. No, I'm just kidding baby. It would be amazing if Avery ended up just like you. Because like I told him you're one of the greatest people I've ever known. I love you so much. Thank you for giving me a reason to hang on. Without Avery I don't know what I would do. It's amazing to me that you knew, even in death, how to save my life. You will always be my knight shining armor. You mean everything to me. Baby I would be nothing if I had never known you. I promise you, our son will be raised well."

Avery interrupted Brooke with a shrill cry and grabbing at her hair. She shrieked with surprise when she felt her hair being yanked.

"It seems as if your son is ready to move on. I promise to bring him by as often as I can. For now I'm gonna take him home. Good bye Lucas, I love you baby. With everything I have," Brooke continued as she placed a kiss on her hand and placed her hand on the stone before rising to her feet with Peyton's help.

Brooke and Peyton walked silently back to the car. The only sounds were the stroller wheels bumping along the uneven pavement and the occasional whimper from Avery who seemed to be settling down now. Brooke wondered if maybe he had sensed she was starting to get choked up and didn't want her to cry so he cried instead in hopes that it would distract her from her own sadness.

"Peyt do you think Avery knew I was getting upset?" Brooke asked as they got in the car and drove back to the apartment.

"Maybe, I mean, I don't know much about babies but I've heard that they can sense when someone is upset. And even if that's not entirely true I think Avery knew because he's just that smart. Or maybe it's because he's got your intuition of picking up on people's emotions," Peyton replied.

Brooke just nodded. That made sense. She was always good at picking up on people's emotions. Like now, even though Peyton wasn't showing it or saying anything Brooke could tell something was on her best friend's mind.

"What's going on with you Peyt? You seem like something's up," Brooke asked as she carried Avery up the stairs in his car seat.

"I'm fine Brooke," Peyton insisted.

"Come on, don't lie to me. You just said I can pick up on people's emotions. Come on, we can talk in the bedroom if Rachel's up."

"Brooke, no. I'm really okay."

Brooke crossed her arms in front of her chest and cocked an eyebrow at Peyton.

"No I think it's got something to do with Jake and his new girl Emily. Doesn't it?"

Peyton looked at the floor but she nodded her head. Leave it Brooke to know exactly what was wrong no matter how much Peyton insisted she was okay. They opened the apartment door and Brooke was surprised to find Rachel on the couch staring blankly at the tv screen. Brooke's heart broke for her friend who lay on her couch clearly missing her boyfriend and for her best friend who was missing the guy she loved.

"Oh boy, Avery. Mommy's got some work to do," Brooke said with a small smile as she carefully placed him in the swing that was suspended from the ceiling near the kitchen area. He just gurgled in response which made Brooke laugh.

"Peyton, come over here. I think it's time we had a talk. All three of us," Brooke said after she had shifted Rachel so she could sit next to her and Peyton couldn't sit on her other side.

"I don't wanna talk," Rachel mumbled while refusing to break her stare.

"Rachel, this isn't good for you. Or the baby," Brooke insisted.

"Oh but it was good for you and Avery? Look where that landed in you."

"Exactly! I don't want to see you go through all the shit I've been through over a guy."

"He's not just a guy Brooke! He's the guy. I would think you of all people would know how it feels."

Brooke slapped Rachel. She couldn't believe that Rachel would even go that far. It was one thing to make a comparison but it was another to rub it in Brooke's face entirely.

"Hey! Knock it off you two," Peyton snapped.

"Stay out of it blondie!" Rachel exploded.

This elicited another slap to Rachel's cheek. This time it was Peyton who delivered the blow. By now Rachel's eyes which were filling with tears were no longer able to hold them and they spilled over. She rose to her feet and ran out of the apartment the best she could for being almost 8 months pregnant. Rachel reached the bottom of the stairs and collapsed on the bottom step. She dropped her head in her hands and cried. Not having Mouth around was really getting to her now. It had been hard two months ago but now that she was less than a month away from having her baby it was the hardest it had ever been. Instinctively Rachel reached for her cell phone and dialed Mouth's number. She was hopeful that he would answer the phone because she really needed to hear his voice.

"Hello," she heard Mouth say and almost instantly there was a smile back on Rachel's face.

"Mouth," she choked out.

"Rachel? What is it? Are you okay?"

"I need you to come home. Please. I'm scared. I don't wanna do this without you. Brooke has too much to worry about with Avery. This isn't her responsibility, and I know you want to be here but what I don't understand is why you haven't come back yet. Please, baby, come home."

"I am home baby."

"What? Where are you?"

"Turn around."

Rachel carefully stood up and turned around. She still had the phone up to her ear but when she found herself staring face to face into the eyes of the one person she really needed it crashed to the ground. Mouth watched as he saw the tears glistening in Rachel's bright eyes. He felt terrible that he had put them there and broke into a sprint, not stopping until he had her in his eyes.

"Baby I'm so sorry. I never should have left you like that. I thought I needed to be at MIT because of that promise Jimmy and I made when we were younger. It was nothing without you but I was scared to come back. I was so afraid you wouldn't wanna talk to me. I don't deserve to have you talking to me. But Rachel, aside from all that, I need you to believe me when I say I love you," Mouth said as tears filled his own eyes.

"Oh god, I missed you so much. Don't ever leave me again. I thought my world was gonna end when Nathan said you weren't in Tree Hill anymore. Honestly I think in that moment my heart stopped beating. I need you so much," Rachel cried as she let herself bury her face in Mouth's shoulder. She inhaled deeply and she couldn't help the tears that flowed faster as the familiar scent of Mouth's cologne filled her nose.

"Come on, let's go for a walk," Mouth whispered softly in Rachel's ear.

She nodded her head in agreement as they walked away from the apartment complex toward the River Court. Mouth had Rachel's hand grasped gently in his with their fingers intertwined. They continued to walk along silently until Mouth finally broke the silence.

"Rachel, I know you're upset that I left but I want you to know that I swear I'm not gonna do it again. And I understand if you're hesitant to believe me but it's true. I can't bear to think about the pain I've caused you the last four or five months. It wasn't until Whitey called about a week ago that I realized what a big mistake I was making being away from you and our baby," Mouth said as he looked Rachel straight in the eye.

_Mouth was laying on his bed in the apartment he had been renting since he arrived in Boston. He had just given up on finishing his reading for class the next morning. The only thing on his mind was Rachel and their baby. He desperately wanted to go back to Tree Hill to be with them but he was afraid Rachel wouldn't want to see him. Just as his eyes were falling shut his cell phone started ringing. Mouth jumped to his feet when he realized it was his ring tone for Whitey. _

_"Why is Whitey calling? Oh god, I hope Rachel's all right," Mouth said as he quickly grabbed his phone and flipped it open. _

_"Whitey? Is Rachel all right?" he asked nervously. _

_"No she's not all right. But you would know that if you were in Tree Hill. Get your ass back here son. Before I come up to Boston and drag you back myself," Whitey barked angrily in the phone._

_"I can't come back."_

_"Don't give me that. If you're not back in two weeks I swear on my life I will hunt you down. Good bye."_

_With that Mouth was met by a dial tone. _

Meanwhile back at Brooke's apartment. She was pacing back and forth trying to figure out where Rachel had gone and why she had been gone for so long. It had been about two hours since she had run out of the apartment in tears and Brooke felt terrible. She hadn't meant to upset her but she felt Rachel had gone too far with her comments about Lucas.

"Peyton hand me my phone please. I'm gonna call her and hope she answers," Brooke said finally.

Peyton grabbed Brooke's phone and tossed it to her. Brooke flipped it open and dialed Rachel's number. It rang twice and went to voicemail.

"Hey it's Rachel. I'm not answering, you know what to do."

"Rach, it's Brooke. Where are you? Call me when you get this. I just wanna make sure you're okay," Brooke said as she felt herself becoming more nervous.

Peyton could see the nerves in Brooke's expression. She wanted to tell her that everything was okay but she couldn't do that because she like Brooke had no idea where Rachel was or why she had been gone for so long without calling. Not that Peyton could blame Rachel after both her and Brooke had slapped the redhead across the face less than 30 seconds apart.

Brooke continued to pace until she thought to call Haley.

"Hey Tigger what's up?" Haley answered after two rings.

"Hey. Listen, have you seen Rachel? She stormed out of here in tears about two hours ago and I haven't heard anything from her. I'm starting to get worried. What if something's wrong with her or the baby?" Brooke replied shakily.

"Brooke, relax. I'm sure she's fine. She's probably just out clearing her head. If you don't see or hear from her before it's dark call me again and we'll go find her. Okay?"

"Okay. Thanks Hales."

"You're welcome. And try not to worry so much. Rachel's a tough kid."

"I know."

"Bye Brookie."

"Bye Tutor Wife."

Brooke snapped her phone shut and cursed under her breath. She was beyond worried about Rachel now. And it wasn't like she could call Skills or Bevin to ask them if they had seen her. Not with them being out in Colorado at Colorado State. She couldn't understand why they had chosen to leave the beauty of North Carolina for the cold of Colorado but it wasn't her life so she couldn't say much about it.

"Mouth. I need to get back to the apartment. Brooke's probably freaking out. I haven't called her since I stormed out earlier. Walk me back?" Rachel said as she tried to stand up on her own without much success.

"Of course," Mouth answered as he rose to his feet and then offered Rachel his hands so she too could stand up.

They walked hand in hand through the dimly lit streets of Tree Hill toward the apartment complex. Rachel was afraid that someone would see Mouth and chew him and she really didn't want that. Not tonight. She stopped abruptly before they reached the parking lot and turned to face him. He looked at her quizzically not understanding why she had stopped so far from the stairs.

"Rachel?" he asked, "What is it? What's wrong baby?"

"I don't want Brooke to know you're back yet. If she knows then she'll tell Nathan and Haley and they'll all wanna rip you a new one. I don't want you to go through that tonight. I'm okay from here," Rachel answered as she kissed Mouth.

"No, I'm not gonna hide from them. Besides, won't Brooke be suspicious when you walk into the apartment and you're smiling?"

"Maybe but there's no law that says I have to tell her if I choose not to."

Rachel smiled coyly at Mouth who just shook his head. He was glad to finally be home in Tree Hill with Rachel. But more than that he was thankful she hadn't run away from him but instead she had run to him.

"Meet me tomorrow. And then we can tell everyone you're back," Rachel said as she leaned in to kiss Mouth one more time before she carefully made her way across the parking lot and up the stairs to Brooke's apartment. She turned the knob and discovered it was locked.

"Shit," she muttered as she walked to Nathan and Haley's door and knocked, hoping someone was home and could let her in to Brooke's apartment. It felt like an eternity before Nathan opened the door.

"Rachel! Where have you been? Brooke and Haley just went to look for you," Nathan asked when he saw who was on the other side of his door.

"I went to clear my head. Listen, can you unlock the door for me?" Rachel answered.

Nathan nodded as he exited his apartment and walked to Brooke's door unlocking it for Rachel. She was surprised to see Peyton sound asleep on the couch with Avery resting on her chest. Rachel walked over to the couch and carefully lifted Avery from Peyton's chest which made them both stir. Immediately she felt bad but knew it would be better if Avery were asleep in his crib. She walked down the hall to his bedroom and flipped the light on before she gently placed the boy in his crib and then she proceeded to watch him sleep for a few minutes. Rachel was still in the bedroom watching Avery when she heard the apartment door close and then open and close again seconds later.

"Rachel!" she heard Brooke shout and immediately turned and left Avery's room but not before turning off the light.

"Yes Brooke?" she replied as she appeared in the living room.

"Where have you been and what's with the smile?" Brooke asked, arms crossed.

"I went out to clear my head. And the smile is there because I talked to someone."

"Rachel. Don't play games with me. You were gone for more than two hours. There's no way you were just clearing your head."

"Really? Well I'm 8 months pregnant so I do walk slow. This means it's possible it could have taken me more than two hours to do all the walking around I did. Don't you think?"

"Okay fine, maybe it's possible. But I still think there's more to it. What's going on? Who did you talk to?"

Rachel shook her head. She really didn't wanna talk about it now. She didn't want to ruin the contented feeling that had settled into stomach the second she saw Mouth standing behind her earlier that day. It was the best she had felt in four months. No way was she gonna let anyone, not even Brooke, talk her into letting go of it.

"Why did I just see Mouth walking away from here?" Haley asked as she burst into Brooke's apartment without knocking.

Brooke's jaw dropped as she whipped around to look at Rachel who was staring at the floor.

"Rachel, you were with Mouth weren't you?" Brooke asked.

"Yes," Rachel replied.

"That's great! Why wouldn't you tell me that?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"I know you're all gonna yell at him. And I didn't want that tonight. It was just so good to be in his arms again."

Brooke nodded. She could only imagine how it good felt. Which of course made her miss Lucas again.

"Everything always comes back to Lucas," Brooke said to herself. And then as if right on cue Avery let out a wail.

_Next chapter—Rachel has her baby and another Mouth/Rachel big moment! Hope you liked this one. It might be a while before the next one is posted. Sorry gang. _


	17. Chapter 17

"Everything always comes back to Luke," Brooke whispered to herself.

She was happy for Rachel that Mouth had come back but that didn't make her want to kick his ass any less. There weren't any explanations he could possibly offer her to make her change her mind. If you asked Brooke, there weren't any valid reasons for doing what he had done. Especially not if Mouth thought she was gonna listen to him say he had to honor something that was between himself and Jimmy. No, Brooke didn't want to hear her friend say that he bailed on his girlfriend and unborn son because of the asshole who took Lucas away from her and left her little boy fatherless. That was beyond inexcusable in her mind and everyone knew it.

"Brooke, please, why won't you listen to me?" Mouth asked again as they walked into the café.

"I told you Mouth. I don't give a damn that you made a promise to that asshole. He killed my best friend! He took Avery's father away. That's crap. Don't you dare mention his name around me again," Brooke snapped back in frustration.

The two walked to the back of the café where Rachel, Peyton, Nathan and Haley were waiting for them. Brooke's eyes lit up when she saw Avery who was sleeping on his Uncle Nathan's shoulder.

"Please tell me someone took a picture of this?" she asked as she slid into the booth next to Peyton while Mouth slid in on the opposite side next to Rachel.

"Of course, you know I wouldn't not do that for you," Haley said with a smile.

"Don't let her fool you Brooke. She took about twenty pictures of this," Nathan laughed.

"I did not!"

"Relax Hales. I'm sure you didn't take that many. But thanks for taking care of Avery for me," Brooke said with a smile.

"Anytime. How did your classes go today?"

"Not bad actually. I really think I made the right choice."

"Brooke, if you weren't majoring in something fashion I might have to take your temperature," Peyton laughed.

"Seriously Brooke, since I've known you that's all you've been about. With the exception of Lucas, cheerleading and now Avery," Nathan said.

"That is not all I'm about!" Brooke protested.

"Oh boy. Nice job Nate," Rachel laughed as she watched Brooke flare up.

"Hey, I didn't do anything wrong. I was just making a point that Brooke Davis and fashion go together like peanut butter and jelly or even better, me and basketball."

"Oh really? And you and your wife don't go together nearly as well?" Haley shot back with raised eyebrows.

"Aw baby, you know you're more important to me than basketball. I was just making a point."

Haley scoffed as she folded her arms defiantly across her chest and slumped down in the booth. Karen walked over to them at the same time immediately giving Nathan a look when she saw Haley slouched.

"Nathan what did you do now?" Karen asked him pointing at Haley.

"I didn't do anything," Nathan replied defensively.

"No, you just implied that you and basketball go together better than you and I do," Haley muttered angrily under her breath.

"Nathan!" Karen said astonishedly.

"What?" he asked.

"Is that true?"

Nathan looked down and nodded his head. Karen reached over Haley and slapped him in the back of his head making him yelp in shock. He would have reached up to rub the spot where she had just slapped him but couldn't with Avery in his arms.

"So I said one stupid thing, why am I being slapped?" Nathan asked, now angry.

Haley scoffed again as she stood up and walked away. She really didn't want to have it out with Nathan. Especially not in public. It was one thing to fight with him in their apartment but it was something else entirely to do it in public in front of their friends as well as strangers.

"Here, someone take him. I need to go talk to Haley," Nathan said as he stood up from the booth still holding a sleeping Avery. Brooke stood up with him and carefully took Avery from Nathan's shoulder and placed him on her own before sitting down again.

"What's going on with them?" Karen asked Brooke as she watched Nathan walk angrily through the café and then out the door after his wife.

"I'm not sure. I haven't really seen them much lately with all that I've had going on between classes and Avery," Brooke replied.

"Speaking of classes, how is that going for you?"

"It's great so far. I just hope it stays that way. I mean I don't want to find out I'm making the wrong choice you know?"

"I'm sure it's all gonna be just fine."

"I dunno, Karen, what if I'm taking on too much too soon? I've been under so much stress lately and I dunno if this is the best time for me add more to it."

"Brooke, listen to me, it's going to be fine. You need to stay positive and focus on getting that degree and making sure you're healthy and Avery's healthy. But you don't have to do this alone. You know that, Keith and I would be more than happy to help out if you need anything."

"I know and I appreciate that I guess I'm just afraid of doing this because if I continue to live and do things for myself I'm afraid it means I've accepted the fact that Lucas is never coming back and I can never share my joy with him."

Karen wasn't exactly sure of how to respond to Brooke's last statement. She knew that whatever fueled Brooke's skeptical outlook would ultimately be tied to the fact that Lucas was dead. It wasn't any secret to anyone that Brooke still missed him terribly despite the happy face she put on daily.

"I'm afraid if all that is true that maybe he doesn't have my heart anymore," Brooke said just barely above a whisper as she looked down at the sleeping child in her arms with tears in her eyes.

"Brooke. He's always gonna have your heart until you decide otherwise. When he died he was in full possession of your heart. Which is exactly how it should have been for the two of you. Don't worry so much," Rachel said with a sweet smile, that was slowly replaced with a twisted expression of pain.

"Rachel. Are you okay?"

"I don't know. Ow!"

Mouth was worried now too. He didn't like the look he was seeing on Rachel's face or that she seemed to be in pain. His thoughts were all over the place. Rachel soon stopped complaining of pain in her back when Karen left.

"Rach, are you all right?" Mouth asked gently.

"No, it hurts. Mouth, what if something's wrong with the baby?" Rachel replied tearfully.

"Hey, nothing is gonna happen to the baby. I promise I won't let it."

Rachel wanted to believe Mouth but he didn't have the greatest track record lately when it came to telling the truth so she wasn't sure if she could trust his word. Almost immediately that was erased by another sharp pain in her back.

"OW!" she screamed as she gripped onto the edge of the table with both hands until her knuckles were white.

"Okay we gotta get you out of here," Mouth said firmly as he stood up from the booth and then helped Rachel get to her feet slowly. At the same moment Rachel felt a sudden gush of water and her eyes grew wide.

"Shit," she muttered.

"What?"

Mouth turned around and saw the wet spot on the front of Rachel's jeans and his eyes got wide too.

"Mouth," Rachel whimpered.

"What baby?" he asked.

"I'm scared. I don't think I'm ready for this. I can't be someone's mother."

"Sure you can. You know why? Because you're amazing and there are only a few other girls I know that would do well with a child. Stay calm. It's gonna be okay. I'm not leaving your side. I've got you and you can count on that."

Rachel bit her lip as she felt another wave of pain shoot through her body. Brooke grabbed Avery's car seat then her and followed behind Mouth and Rachel the best they could. While they did Brooke was frantically trying to call Bevin and let her know what was going on. Thankfully after the third ring Bevin picked up.

"Hello," she said tiredly.

"Bev, it's Brooke," Brooke said quickly.

"What's up?"

"Rachel's in labor."

"What? Oh god. Okay, tell her Skills and I will be there as soon as we can. Oh and tell her I love her."

"I will. See you when you get here. Call me if you need someone to get you guys from the airport."

"Okay, thanks for letting me know Brooke."

"You're welcome. I figured she's gonna want you here."

"Bye."

"Bye."

"Are they coming?" Peyton asked as Brooke put her phone away.

"Yes," Brooke answered as they got in Peyton's car and she had just finished buckling Avery's seat in the back.

They were at the hospital in ten minutes. Peyton didn't even bother trying to keep up with Mouth. She wasn't gonna get a speeding ticket just for keeping up with a friend. Brooke got Avery's seat out quickly then the two of them rushed into the hospital up to the maternity ward waiting room. There was no way either of them wanted to be in the room with Rachel. That just seemed too weird. Apparently not for Rachel though because almost as soon as Brooke was sitting in one of the plastic chairs Mouth burst into the room looking for her.

"Rachel wants you in there," Mouth said between gasps of air.

"What? Why? Isn't that kinda weird?" Brooke replied.

"That's what I said but she said to come get you. Or I'd never have another child."

Brooke grinned at that. Before she followed Mouth to Rachel's room she turned around and gave Avery a quick kiss.

"Hey, I'm here. You're doing awesome Rach," Brooke said as she walked up to the head of the bed and grabbed one of Rachel's hands.

"I can't do this. I'm scared," Rachel cried.

"Yes you can. I know you can. Mouth knows you can. Deep down even you know you can do this and you will do this. Now come on. Take some deep breaths with me."

Rachel shook her head. She didn't want to breathe. She just wanted the pain to stop. Brooke nodded her head in response to which Rachel again shook her head.

"Come on, Rach. Don't be stubborn. You need to do this for the baby. Now are you gonna take some deep breaths with me or not?" Brooke tried again.

"Fine," Rachel relented.

"Good girl."

Brooke was smiling but Rachel wasn't. In fact, she was glaring at the brunette. Mouth couldn't contain his laughter but as soon as Rachel turned her angry stare toward him, Mouth was suddenly wishing he could have.

"What the hell are you laughing at? This is your fault. You did this to me!" Rachel barked at him, "I hate you."

"Rachel, sweetie, I'm sorry you're in such pain. If I could trade places with you, you have to know that I would. And I'm pretty sure when this is over, you won't really hate me," Mouth replied with a grin.

"Don't be cute. That's only gonna make me hate you more."

A minute later the doctor walked in. He smiled at the two people who were in the room with Rachel.

"How you feeling Rachel?" he asked.

"Bite me," Rachel responded.

"How are things looking?" he asked the nurse, completely ignoring Rachel's previous comment.

It wasn't the first time a patient told him to bite her following that question. Actually it was more common among teen girls and new moms.

"Everything looks good right now. If they continue on the pace they've been on it'll only be an hour or so before we're ready for delivery," the nurse replied

"An hour?" Rachel shrieked, "I have to do this for another hour? You can't…oww…be…oww…serious."

"Hey, calm down. This isn't the worst part," Brooke said.

"How would you know? You didn't have to push your son out. They had to cut Avery out of you," Rachel shot back.

Brooke wanted to slap Rachel for that but she didn't. It didn't make sense to when she knew, as true as it was, Rachel didn't mean anything by it. Brooke guessed it was probably just the drugs talking anyway.

"Ow!" Rachel shrieked again as another contraction slammed into her frame like a freight train.

"Breathe, Rachel. Come on, you can do it," Brooke told her, putting the previous comment in the back of her mind.

"No, I can't. It hurts too much. Make it stop."

Rachel's bright eyes were glistening with tears. Seeing this made Brooke wish there was something she could do for her but unfortunately there wasn't a thing that could be done. Rachel would just have to tough it out and breathe. Brooke was glad that Mouth had come to his senses and come back. Although part of her still wanted to kick his ass. She was so lost in though that she didn't even realize Mouth was talking to her until Rachel smacked her arm. Which snapped Brooke right out of her daze.

"It might be a while before there's any change. Why don't you go check on Avery? I'll come get you the second things get close to delivery," Mouth said.

"But I thought you said Rachel wants me in here?" Brooke replied, completely confused.

"She does. I just thought you might want to see how Avery's doing out there with Peyton. It's up to you."

Before Brooke made her decision she looked at Rachel, who was nodding her head. When she saw that Brooke decided she would go sit with Avery for a little while. Maybe this would give her a chance to clear her head. She dropped a light kiss on Rachel's forehead then she turned and kissed Mouth on his cheek before she left the room.

"I'll be back, Rachel. Remember to breathe deep and slow," Brooke said before the door closed behind her.

Suddenly overcome with exhaustion Brooke had to push herself to walk back down to the waiting area. When she got down there the sight that fell before her eyes brought a smile to her face. Peyton was sitting in one the hard plastic chairs with Avery asleep on her shoulder, just like he had been doing earlier on Nathan's shoulder.

"Hey how's she doing?" Peyton asked in a whisper.

"She's doing okay. The nurse said it'll be about an hour before they can move her to a delivery room," Brooke whispered back.

Peyton nodded as Brooke sat in the empty chair next to her and reached down to take her cell phone out of her purse. She opened it to find that she had two unread text messages. The first one was from Haley and it said "I'm leaving", when Brooke saw that she gasped. Not even caring about the second text message now Brooke called Haley.

"You got my text didn't you?" Haley asked after her phone rang about six times.

"Yes. Haley what's going on? What do you mean you're leaving? Leaving what?" Brooke replied in complete panic.

"Nathan."

"What!"

"Brooke, please. Just drop it. I really don't wanna talk about it."

"No. You sent me that text message so you obviously need to talk. Let's talk."

Haley didn't say anything. She couldn't. Not if she was going to block out the horrific fight she had with Nathan which led to her decision. Haley was totally freaked out by the whole thing. Never had she seen Nathan so angry or felt him be so violent, not toward her at least. As much as she didn't want to do it, Haley knew that leaving Nathan was her only option. At least until he got help or something.

"Hales. What happened? And don't tell me you don't want to talk about it. I know you do. You know it too."

"No Brooke. I really don't. I don't want to talk about the fact that my husband yelled at me and hit"

"Wait. What. He _hit_ you?"

"Yes," Haley barely choked out.

Brooke could feel the anger swirling inside her. She didn't go for guys hitting girls. Nothing could excuse this but she couldn't spend all her energy being angry at him. She would have to save some to be there for Haley. Right now, more than ever, since Lucas was shot, Haley needed Brooke to be there for her.

"Oh god. Where are you Hales?"

"Lucas' room. I had to get away from Nathan. Brooke what am I gonna do? I still love him but on top of that, now I'm terrified of him."

"Well for right now you're gonna stay there. Peyton will drop me off."

"No. If he sees her car he'll know I'm here. Please, I don't want him to find me."

"Hales, he's not gonna know. He'll see me and think I just went to sit in Luke's room to be closer to him. He's not gonna find you. I promise."

"Brooke. Please. Don't."

"I have to. You can't be alone right now. Besides, I know you'd do the same for me if the situation was reversed. Let me just do this for you. Please?"

"Okay."

Haley was still nervous that Nathan would see Peyton's car and get suspicious.

"I'll see you in a few minutes."

"Bye Brooke."

Brooke closed her phone and turned to Peyton who was looking at her curiously.

"What's going on? Did Nate really hit Haley?" Peyton asked, desperately hoping Brooke would say no.

"Yes," Brooke replied somberly, "I need to make sure she's okay. Can you drop me off at Karen's?"

"Sure but what about Rachel?"

"Call my cell phone when Mouth says there's a change. I promised Rachel I would be there for her and I will be but right now Haley needs me."

Peyton nodded. Brooke lifted Avery from Peyton's shoulder and placed him gently in his car seat before she picked it up and walked outside with Peyton. The drive to Karen was quiet as both girls were lost in their own thoughts. Neither of them could believe that Nathan had hit Haley. It seemed so out of character for him but then again nothing was ever as expected in this town.

"Thanks Peyt. I'll call you later if you don't call me first," Brooke said as she carried Avery who was awake and making gurgling noises in his seat to Lucas' door.

She waited until Peyton was out of the driveway before she knocked softly on the door. It opened slowly to reveal only part of Haley's face. When Haley saw that it was Brooke she opened the door completely to let her in and then quickly closed it again. Brooke placed Avery's seat on Lucas' now empty desktop and then she put her arms around Haley squeezing tightly but immediately loosened her grip when she heard Haley wince louder than she had ever heard anyone wince before. Slowly Brooke pulled back and her heart broke when she found herself looking at Haley's tear-filled eyes. She gently lead Haley toward Lucas' bed and then sat down.

"What happened?" Brooke asked softly.

"He just got upset with me and…and…he started…to sc…scream and then he was throwing…throwing things around the apartment. I thought he was just blowing off steam but then he turned to look at me and oh god, Brooke. His eyes…were red…with…with…anger. I tried to get away before he could do anything but of course he's faster than I am. He grabbed me by the arm and threw me against the wall. I asked him to stop but he…ignored me…and that's when he hit me," Haley sobbed as she laid back against the pillows.

"Why was he upset?"

"I don't know. He wouldn't tell me. He kept insisting it wasn't any of my business. That I should just shut up and 'take what's coming'."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"I don't know. I don't wanna think about it. What if this doesn't stop? I don't wanna leave him."

"Hales, if this doesn't stop you can't stay with him. It's not safe."

"Oh god. Brooke, I can't bare to lose him. I already lost my best friend. I can't lose my husband too."

Tears were streaming down Haley's face and as Brooke sat there, she could feel the tears forming in her own eyes. She hadn't thought about that yet. If she left Nathan, Haley would be without the two most important people in her life. Carefully Brooke lay back with her and just held Haley while she cried.

"No matter what happens, you'll always have me and Avery," Brooke whispered sweetly.

"I know," Haley sobbed.

"Shh. It's okay Hales. Everything's gonna be fine. I promise you."

"But what if it isn't? What if Nathan doesn't get past this?"

"Don't think like that. I'm sure he'll get past this but for now you can't go back to that apartment. You can stay with me and Avery tonight. Okay?"

"Brooke, no. I couldn't do that. I'll sleep here. It's no big deal. Karen and Keith won't mind at all."

"Neither would I. Please, Hales. Let me take care of you the way you've taken care of me in the last seven months. If it wasn't for your awesome presence in my life Ave and I might not even be here right now."

As much as Haley knew that was true she just couldn't bring herself to say she'd stay at Brooke's apartment. It was too close to Nathan. The one person she didn't want to be anywhere near at the moment.

"Brooke, I really can't. It's too close to Nathan."

"Oh gosh. I'm so sorry. I didn't even think of that. Okay then, I'll talk to Karen. Perhaps the three of us can crash here tonight."

"No Brooke. You don't have to do that. I'll be fine."

"No, I'm not gonna leave you here by yourself."

"I won't be alone though. Karen and Keith will be here."

Brooke groaned. Haley could be stubborn when she wanted to. But then again, Brooke could be just as stubborn. Apparently it was going to be a battle of who's stubbornness would prevail in this situation.

"Will you please just let me talk to her? It would make me feel better if I could watch over you."

"Fine. If it'll get you to shut up I won't stop you from talking to Karen."

"Thank you."

The two girls lay in an uneasy silence. It had been a long time since Brooke had set foot in this room and she was surprised to find that just being in Lucas' room hadn't gotten her choked up like she thought it would. She had a lot of memories in this room, on the very bed she was laying on with Haley at that very moment.

"It's weird being here without Luke," she said finally breaking the silence.

"I wish he was still here. Then he could straighten Nathan out for me," Haley replied sadly.

"Aww, Hales. We'll take care of Nathan. I'm sure Keith will have a few choice words for your husband when he gets wind of this issue. I know I will. What he did was unacceptable and he has to know that he can't get away with it just because he's some hot shot ball player at UNC."

Haley nodded slowly as she scooted closer to Brooke and put her head on Brooke's shoulder. Brooke turned and kissed Haley's forehead softly. It was breaking her heart to see Haley's world crashing down around her. It had been bad enough when they lost Lucas but now it looked like Haley might be losing her husband too. That was a lot to take on at 18. Especially for someone as fragile as Haley.

"What if I don't live through this? Brooke, what if he completely loses it and goes too far?" Haley asked suddenly, fear dripping in every word that fell from her lips.

"That's not gonna happen Haley. I don't care if I have to send you out to California to stay with Ryan or to Savannah with Jake. Nathan is not gonna kill you. I won't let him. You have my word on that," Brooke replied firmly.

"How do you know?"

"Haley. Stop."

Brooke had tears in her eyes now. She knew there was always a possibility of Nathan snapping and killing Haley without meaning to but she refused to think about it. She wanted to believe that she could protect Haley. Lucas would want her to.

"I can't. It's possible."

"It's not gonna happen because Lucas wouldn't want it to."

"Oh so that's why you're doing this? Because you think you have to take Lucas' place in my life? Thanks Brooke. I thought you really cared about me as your own person."

"Damn it Haley. I do! But now I'm caring about you as my own person and I feel like Lucas would be doing the very same thing if he was still here. Don't tell me I don't care about you. You know that I do."

The tears were flowing freely between both girls. Haley was angry that Brooke only seemed to care because Lucas could no longer protect her. And Brooke was angry at Haley for thinking that. Of course that wasn't true but Haley was obviously too upset to realize how crazy she was sounding.

"Do I really Brooke? Do I know that you care about me?"

"I thought you did but I guess I was wrong."

Brooke was about to leave when Haley grabbed her arm and spun her back around. She looked into Haley's eyes and saw the fear of losing everything in her life that was good shining past the tears that were glistening in Haley's hazel eyes.

"Don't leave. If you leave I have nothing. Please. I'm sorry I said all those things," Haley said as more tears slid down her cheeks.

"Hales, you know I could never walk away from you," Brooke said as she carefully pulled Haley into a hug, remembering the reaction she received the first time.

Meanwhile back at the hospital Mouth was on his way down to the waiting area to get Brooke. They were just getting Rachel ready to move down to a delivery room. There were nerves flowing through Mouth's bloodstream. It hadn't completely registered yet but when this was all over, he was going to be someone's father.

"Peyton, where's Brooke?" he asked when he got to the waiting area and only found Peyton.

"She's with Haley right now. I'll go get her," Peyton replied.

"Thanks. And hurry. Rachel really wants her here for this."

Peyton nodded as she turned to go back to her car and get Brooke to bring her back to the hospital. Five minutes later she was parked in Karen's driveway and running up to Lucas' door.

"Peyton. What are you doing here?" Brooke asked when she opened the door.

"Rachel's being taken to a delivery room. Mouth said she was asking for you. Let's go," Peyton replied.

"Oh crap. I can't just leave Haley like this."

"Have her come with us. I'll sit with her and Avery in the waiting room."

Brooke nodded. If she wasn't so frazzled Brooke would have thought of that on her own but just hearing that Rachel was closer to actually delivering the baby made her unable to think rationally about anything.

"Haley, come on. You gotta come with me and Peyton to the hospital. Rachel's about to deliver the baby and I promised I'd be there when it happened," Brooke said after she turned around to face Haley who was still on Lucas' bed.

"No. I'm gonna stay here. You can leave Avery with me. It's no problem," Haley replied.

"Hales, no. Let's go. Now."

Haley shook her head. She didn't want to go. She didn't want Mouth to see her like this. It would upset him if he saw the physical state she was currently in and Haley didn't think that was fair. Just as she was about to lift the covers over her body Brooke grabbed one hand and Peyton grabbed the other and together the two girls had managed to pull Haley to her feet.

"I'm seriously Haley. You're coming with us. Nathan has no idea Rachel went into labor so he'll never know to look for you there," Brooke said firmly.

"But what about the bruises?" Haley stammered.

"Grab one of Luke's sweatshirt. You know Karen won't mind. In fact it would probably put a smile on her face to know that her son's best friend was taking comfort in one of his shirts."

Haley couldn't help smile as she thought that Brooke was probably right. Karen would love to see someone in Lucas' clothes. Especially someone like Haley or Brooke or Nathan as the case may be. Sighing Haley walked slowly to Lucas' closet and went through his sweatshirts until she found the one that was her favorite, it was a black Tree Hill High Ravens basketball sweatshirt. Nathan had one just it like but somehow Haley always liked Lucas' better. Smiling to herself she slipped the familiar garment carefully over her head and wrapped her arms around herself.

"Mouth!" Rachel screamed.

"What baby?" he asked.

"Where's Brooke? She promised to be here."

"She's on her way. She had to go take care of something but Peyton's gonna bring her back. Just a few more minutes sweetheart."

"I want her here now."

"I know you do."

Mouth was beginning to wonder what was taking Peyton so long. They had already been in the delivery room for fifteen minutes and Brooke still hadn't come in. Maybe she wasn't gonna come? No, Mouth knew better than that. Brooke wouldn't let Rachel down. And just like that Brooke burst through the doors apologizing profusely for taking so long.

"I told you I'd be here," Brooke said as she grabbed Rachel's hand.

"Thank…owwwwwwww…you," Rachel screamed as she squeezed Brooke's hand.

"Rachel, I'm gonna need you to push real soon. Okay?" the doctor told her.

She nodded her head.

"Okay. On the count of three I need you to give me a big push. One, two, three."

Rachel started pushing.

"Come on honey. You can do this," Mouth whispered gently as he stood on Rachel's other side opposite Brooke.

"Shut up," Rachel snapped at him.

"Okay good job Rachel," the doctor said with a smile.

"Hang in there Rach. I know you can do this," Brooke said as she stuck her tongue out at Mouth because she knew Rachel wasn't gonna snap at her.

Rachel shook her head. She didn't want to do it anymore. She was tired and it hurt. All she wanted was for the pain to go away. She was about to say something when the doctor told her to bare down and get ready to push again. Ten seconds later Rachel was pushing again and squeezing Brooke and Mouth's hands. They both had expressions of pain on their faces as Rachel's grip got tighter by the second. It took about another three hours of the screaming, swearing, squeezing and pushing before things really started to change.

"Okay Rachel, I need you to push real hard this time," the doctor said as he stood waiting to see the baby's head.

"I can't," she cried tiredly.

"Yes you can Rachel. Just take a deep breath and push," Brooke said gently.

She wanted to scream. Brooke was starting to get on her nerves but it was her own fault. She wanted Brooke to witness the birth of her child although now she couldn't remember why.

"Come on Rachel. I can almost see the head. I just need three really big pushes and then it'll be over," the doctor tried again.

Desperate to end the pain she was in Rachel decided she was gonna have to listen. Taking a deep breath Rachel pushed as hard as she could until the doctor told her to stop and take a breath. Ten minutes went by before she was being told to push again. Rachel was in such pain that she really didn't want to this time. It didn't even matter to her that the doctor told her that he could see the baby's head.

"I don't care. I just want the pain to stop!" Rachel snapped angrily.

"You have to push then," Mouth whispered in her ear.

"Stop that would you. I know what I have to do. I just don't want to. You try pushing a watermelon out of hole the size of a pea then we'll talk."

"Come on, I know you want to see our son. Just give us two really good pushes and the pain will be over."

Brooke couldn't help but snicker. She liked Rachel's comment about watermelon through a pea-sized hole. It was a pretty accurate comparison but it still made her laugh.

Finally Rachel pushed the second time and then she collapsed against the pillows and let the tears go. She had never been in so much pain in her life. If she didn't know better Rachel could swear she was dying it hurt so bad.

"Okay, Rachel. This is it. Just give me one last push and you'll be done," the doctor told her.

"No," Rachel said as she defiantly crossed her arms.

Mouth was about to say something but Brooke shook her head at him.

"Come on Rach. One more. That's all you need now. Do it for Mouth," Brooke said as she smiled at her two friends.

"Okay."

Rachel smiled weakly at Brooke before she pushed again.

"Come on, do it again. I need a really big push Rachel."

"You said that was the last one!" Rachel screamed.

"It could have been. Now come on. Bear down and push as hard as you can."

Rachel once again had a tight grasp on one of Mouth's hands as well as one of Brooke's hands as she pushed harder than she had pushed before. Suddenly the room was filled with the sounds of a baby crying. When Rachel heard that she collapsed against the pillows and looked at Mouth.

"Congratulations Mom and Dad, you have yourselves a healthy baby boy," the doctor announced with a smile.

"I love you," she whispered as tears pricked her eyes.

"I love you too," Mouth replied as he brought her hand to his lips and kissed it gently.

"I love you too Brooke," Rachel said as she turned the other way grinning.

"I know and I love you Rachel," Brooke answered as she leaned down to hug her friend.

As soon as Brooke was standing up again the doctor came over carrying the baby boy wrapped in a blanket and placed him in Rachel's waiting arms. She looked down at him and felt the tears fall from her eyes again.

"He's perfect," she whispered hoarsely.

"Just like his mommy," Mouth said as he kissed her forehead.

"Hey little guy. You don't know happy I am to see you," Rachel said as she stroked his cheek gently.

"What are you going to name him?" Brooke asked as she looked on with tears in her own eyes.

"Lucas Everett Shane McFadden," Mouth answered for Rachel.

"I like it."

"And we'll call him Shea," Rachel put in.

"Shea, there's someone else very important I'd like you to meet," Mouth said, "This is your Auntie Brooke. She's an amazing person. One of few people that I've always been able to count on."


	18. Chapter 18

Brooke looked down at the little boy in Rachel's arms and smiled despite the tears that were in her eyes. She was happy for her friends but she couldn't help but wish Lucas were still around. The only people she had around for her when Avery was born were the doctors and all because she had been foolish and nearly ended both hers and Avery's lives. All Brooke wanted was a complete family and that would never happen. At least not with her and Lucas and Avery. Not the way she wanted it to happen.

"I'm sorry, I have to get out of here," she whispered before she turned and ran out of the room.

Brooke didn't stop running until she was in the waiting area where she remembered leaving Peyton and Haley hours ago. They both looked worried when they saw the salty tracks on her cheeks from the tears.

"Brooke what's wrong? Is Rachel okay?" Haley asked as her and Peyton stood up.

"Rachel's fine. She had the baby. His name is Lucas Everett Shane McFadden. He's perfect. They have the perfect little family in there. And what do I get? I get to raise my son without his father, the love of my life to help me. What did I do to deserve that? Was I really that bad of a person to deserve this hand I've been dealt?" Brooke replied as more tears fell from her eyes.

"Hey, listen to me," Peyton said firmly as she grabbed Brooke by her shoulders, "Lucas may not be here anymore but you need to remember that you're not doing this alone. Right Hales?"

"Yeah. You know that Peyton, Rachel, Mouth, Ryan, Karen and Keith, your dad, Nathan and I are all going to help you out. No none of us are Lucas but I think having the help you've got is better than nothing. Please don't be like this Brookie. You're so much stronger. I know it and you know it too," Haley said in agreement with Peyton.

Brooke rolled her eyes at her friends' words. She wasn't in the mood for another "you can do this, you're not alone" talks. Because without Lucas Brooke felt alone no matter how many people stepped up to help her. Lucas was all she wanted. Nothing else. With tears still in her eyes Brooke lifted Avery from his car seat and held him tight against her chest as she inhaled his sweet baby scent. Sometimes when Brooke held Avery this way she would close her eyes and imagine Lucas was standing with them and the three of them were wrapped in a hug. Brooke's perfect little family. She was still standing there hugging Avery tightly when she heard her cell phone go off. Not wanting to leave her thoughts Brooke ignored it. And she was blocking out the rest of her surroundings until her phone went off again and she felt someone jabbing her insistently.

"Brooke answer your phone will you," she heard Peyton's voice say impatiently.

"Hello," she said agitatedly.

"Hey it's Jake. You never answered my text message," he said in what sounded to Brooke like a brokenhearted tone.

"I'm sorry. I didn't see it. There's just so much going on right now that I forgot to check. What's up Jake?"

"I'm not going to be a father again apparently."

"What? Why not? Did something happen to Emily?"

"You could say that."

Brooke could hear the bitterness in Jake's voice and was suddenly concerned for her friend.

"I don't understand. What happened Jake?"

"She cheated on me. The baby isn't mine. I woke up this morning to a note on the pillow next to me. Emily didn't even have the decency to wake me up to tell me she was leaving me."

"Jake I'm sorry but if she didn't care enough to tell you she was leaving then she wasn't the girl for you."

"I know. But the thing is, I was staying with her at her parents' house and now that she's gone they're kicking me out. I have no where to go."

Brooke groaned. She silently hoped Jake wouldn't ask her what she was afraid he was going to ask. Now really wasn't the best time for him to come back to Tree Hill. Especially with everything that was going on between Nathan and Haley. Brooke was pretty confident that Jake would pound Nathan if he knew what happened to Haley. Not that Brooke didn't think Nathan deserved to get a taste of his own medicine but if Jake beat him up that could land him in jail away from Jenny.

"Please, don't ask me what I think you're going to. Now really isn't the best time for you to come back to Tree Hill."

"I was just gonna ask if you knew of anyone looking for a roommate. Why shouldn't I come back right now? What's going on?"

Brooke was nervous. She knew Jake would wanna know what was going on with everything. What she didn't know was whether or not she should tell him.

"Brooke?" he said after the line was silent for a few minutes.

"Sorry I'm still here," she replied.

"What's going on?"

"Just a lot of drama."

"Brooke, that's Tree Hill. I appreciate you wanting to save me from the drama but that's all my life has been since Jenny was born. A little more isn't going to kill me. Will you please tell me what's really going on? Are you okay?"

"Me personally? I'm fine. But there's other stuff I don't know if I can tell you."

Haley looked at Brooke with wide eyes suddenly realizing that the brunette was toying with whether or not to mention what was going on with Haley and Nathan. Brooke saw the wide-eyed look and told Jake to hold on a minute.

"Brooke you can't tell him! He'll hurt Nathan," Haley protested frantically.

"Hales, I have to," Brooke replied.

"Why?"

"Because if he comes back to Tree Hill it's gonna get back to him anyway."

"What do you mean if he comes back to Tree Hill?" Peyton asked eyes sparkling with hope.

"Nothing, never mind. It's just a speculation," Brooke said quickly as she turned her attention back to the phone.

"Okay, what's going on with Haley?" Jake asked suspiciously.

Brooke swallowed hard before handing Avery to Peyton and walking away to a quieter spot. If she was going to tell Jake she didn't want to do it in front of Haley and make her upset again.

"Nathan hit her," Brooke said quickly.

"What was that? I didn't catch it."

"Nathan hit her."

"Excuse me? I'll kill that jerk. What was his excuse?"

"I don't know. Haley won't really talk about it."

"She's not staying with him is she?"

"Right now, no. She's gonna talk to Karen about staying in Lucas' room for a little while."

"Good. Is that the only reason you don't want me to come back to Tree Hill or are you afraid that I'm going to break the heart of a certain curly blonde haired friend of yours?"

"No because I know you're not dumb enough to do that again but Jake, she's still holding out hope that you'll come back to her. If you don't feel that way anymore you really need to tell her. And if that hurts her, I promise that I won't hurt you. The only reason I would hurt you is if you led her to believe you still loved her and then turned around and acted differently."

"Brooke I'm not gonna hurt Peyton. I don't think that spark that we had is there anymore. Besides my heart can't take a relationship right now."

"Okay. Well in that case, I dunno how you'd feel about this but there's another bedroom in my apartment. You're welcome to it if you want."

"Thanks Brooke. You won't even know I'm there."

"Jake you don't have to hide from me. We're friends remember?"

"I know. Okay well I guess I'll see you soon."

"Bye roomie!"

"Bye Brooke."

She smiled as she could hear the laughter in Jake's voice. Suddenly Brooke realized what she had done. Jake was gonna stay with her for who knew how long. She was beginning to think that wasn't the best idea but she wasn't going to call him and tell him to forget it either.

"Did you tell him? Does he hate Nathan?" Haley asked Brooke nervously.

"Yes I did and if he hates Nathan he didn't show it," Brooke answered.

"So is Jake coming back?" Peyton asked, Brooke felt her heart sink as she watched her best friend's eyes light up with hope.

"He's coming back but Peyt I don't think you're gonna be as happy as you think you are when he comes back."

"What? Why not? Jake's coming back to me. How could I not be happy?"

Brooke shook her head slowly. This wasn't gonna be easy but she knew she should tell Peyton that Jake wasn't coming back to her or even for her. In fact Brooke couldn't help but wonder if Jake was coming back for her and Avery rather than Peyton. As soon as that thought crossed her mind Brooke shook her head violently. _Jake wouldn't come back for me. We're just friends _Brooke thought to herself.

"And roommates now," she mumbled the last sentence quietly.

Suddenly Brooke was nervous. She couldn't help but wonder if maybe Jake had said okay to staying with her for reasons different then what she was thinking. Did he secretly want something to happen between them? Brooke didn't want to think about it. If she did then she was allowing herself to move on from Lucas and even though it had been almost 8 months now, the engagement ring was still on her hand. Brooke looked down at her left hand with tear-filled eyes. As much as she loved Lucas she couldn't help but feel like the ring no longer represented what it was meant for. Wiping her eyes Brooke lifted Avery from Haley's arms and placed him in his seat and swiftly walked away without saying a word.

Peyton and Haley watched in awkward silence as Brooke walked away. Neither of them knew what was going on but they were both worried.

"Do you think Jake said something to her?" Haley asked nervously.

"What could he possibly say to make her walk off like that Hales?" Peyton replied.

"I don't know. Something's bothering her."

"You think I don't know that? You think I can't see that despite the smile she wears daily Brooke is falling apart while desperately trying to hold on for Avery?"

"I'd be falling apart too if Nathan had died and left me in Brooke's shoes. And god knows I'm falling apart without Luke. Nobody knows me like he did, except for Nathan and right now I'm afraid to be near him. The two people that matter the most to me are the two I can't turn now."

With her head down Haley walked toward the elevator to exit the hospital. She hated that she couldn't go home to Nathan or go talk to Lucas. Right now she really needed him. As she walked around Tree Hill Haley didn't even know where she was going until she found herself standing at the edge of the River Court looking out over the water. It was dark out now so the lights were on and Haley thought it was amazing how they reflected off the water. Silently she stood there as tears rolled down her face.

"Luke I can't take it. What did I do to make Nathan hate me? What did I do to make him hit me? He's never been like that before. I can't stand it. He's not the same Nathan that I married, he's not the same Nathan I fell in love with," Haley cried as she stared at the water in front of her.

She was still standing there when she felt someone's hand on her shoulder. Resisting the urge to scream Haley turned slightly and let go of the breath she was holding in when she saw Keith standing there. The look on his face was almost enough to melt her heart.

"Hey, what's going on with you? Karen said you were supposed to work at the café today and you never showed up. Is everything okay Hales?" Keith asked genuinely concerned.

"Oh my god. I completely forgot. Karen must hate me," Haley said as she put a hand over her mouth.

"No she could never hate you. She was just worried that something was going on. And judging by the fact that you're standing here crying I can see she was right. Want to tell me what's going on?"

"How much did you hear?"

"Something about Nathan not being the same person you married. Hales what's going on? Did he hurt you?"

Haley looked down at her shoes and kicked the ground under her. She didn't want to tell Keith that Nathan had hit her. It would just make him angry and Haley couldn't do that to him. The longer she stared at the ground the longer Keith stood next to her silently waiting for her to answer him.

"Yes," she finally answered but it was just loud enough that only she could hear it.

"What was that?" Keith asked.

"Yes. Nathan hurt me. He hit me. Is that what you wanted to hear?" Haley screamed as she looked up at Keith. He was shocked by the anger he saw blazing in her eyes.

"It's not what I wanted to hear but I'm glad you told me the truth. Why did he hit you?"

"I don't know. I don't know what I did wrong. But it's like lately he hates me and all he does is yell at me. He never hit me until today."

Keith reached out to pull Haley into a hug but she pulled back. The last thing she wanted was another sympathetic hug. Nothing was going to fix this. Nothing was going to take away the fact that her husband had hit her. She couldn't even talk to her best friend about it because he was dead. Keith tried to hug her again and this time Haley pushed him away.

"Don't touch me! You can't fix this," she screamed as she ran away from Keith, leaving him standing at the river's edge in shock. Haley had never screamed at him before and he wasn't sure if he liked that experience.

Haley ran until she was in front of the door of her and Nathan's apartment. As much as she wanted to go in there she was afraid that Nathan would be there. And if Nathan was there Haley was afraid that he would hit her again. Sighing nervously Haley reached for her key and unlocked the door. The lights were on so Haley tried to be as quiet as possible. As she approached the bedroom door which was closed Haley thought she could hear someone crying. Immediately her heart broke as she realized that someone was crying and that someone was Nathan. Just as she was about to open the door and go to him Haley quickly turned around and left the apartment again. If Brooke knew that she was with Nathan after he had hit her there was no telling how mad Brooke would be at Haley. Before Haley walked out of the apartment she grabbed a piece of paper and a pen. "You need help. Love Haley" was all she wrote before she dropped the note on the counter and then walked out.

Nathan's crying had slowed down and he listened as he thought he heard someone in the apartment. _You blew it man, Haley's not here. She's gone and she's never coming back. She's gone and so is Luke _Nathan said to himself as he lay back against Haley's pillow and breathed in her scent. He couldn't believe he had gone so far as to hit her. That was something he had always sworn he would never do and now he was laying on the bed in tears because he had hit Haley. And what for? Because he was in a new stage of grief over the death of his brother? That was no reason to hurt someone who he loved dearly the way he loved Haley.

"If you loved her you wouldn't hit her asshole," he cried.

Nathan reached over to his side of the bed and grabbed his pillow and then threw it at the door angrily. After lying there crying for another ten minutes he rose to his feet and decided he would look for Haley. Of course he knew that there was a good chance he wouldn't find her and even if he did there was no guarantee she would actually wanna talk to him and it wasn't like he blamed her. It was his fault if she refused to talk to her, he was the one that hit her. Not the other way around. Just as he opened the door to the apartment Nathan was surprised to find Keith standing on the other side with fire burning in his eyes.

"What did you do to her?" Keith asked evenly.

"Look man, I know it was wrong. I don't need you to stand here and lecture me that hitting women is wrong. I know that. I'm an asshole for doing and I wouldn't blame Hales if she never trusted me again but I can't not apologize or at least try. I appreciate you looking out for Haley's wellbeing but you're not Luke, you can't save her. I'm not even sure I can save her but I don't really deserve to try because like I said, this is all my fault. Now if you'll excuse me I need to find my wife," Nathan replied.

"I'm not trying to save Haley you asshole. I just want to know what the hell you were thinking when you hit her? What could she possibly have done to deserve that? She's right, you're not the same guy she married. The guy she married never would have considered hitting her and you not only considered it but you went through with it."

"Damn it Keith. I know I was wrong. But if I don't go talk to her and tell her I'm sorry right now I might never apologize and that's worse then what I did. I'm not really sure how but that's how it is. Move before I hit you."

"Don't threaten me Nate. I'm bigger than you are."

Nathan looked down at his uncle and chuckled.

"Really then why am I looking down to be at eye level with you?"

"Don't be smart."

"I'm not. You're just pissed because I'm bigger than you. Now I'm serious. Move, I need to find Haley."

Nathan and Keith were still standing in front of the door when Brooke walked up the stairs carrying Avery and his diaper bag along with her purse and trying to get her keys out to open the door.

"Let me help you Brooke," Nathan offered.

"No I got it," Jake said as he came up the stairs a second later and took the keys from Brooke's finger and opened the door.

Nathan watched silently as Jake entered the apartment behind Brooke and then closed the door behind them. Not wanting to waste anymore time worrying about why Jake was in town or in Brooke's apartment Nathan walked toward the stairs to go find Haley. Keith was right behind him and they both stopped when they heard a door open and then Brooke calling Nathan's name. He groaned as he went back up the stairs.

"What Brooke?" he asked impatiently.

"Stay away from Haley. I mean it," Brooke said firmly.

Nathan laughed as he walked away and went back down the stairs. He wasn't gonna let some empty, unspoken threat from Brooke stop him from talking to his wife. It wasn't her decision anyway. If Nathan wanted to go find Haley and talk to her or at least try she wasn't in any position to stop him.

"Damn it Nathan! Why won't you listen to me!" Brooke hollered.

Nathan kept walking away as Brooke continued yelling. Finally Nathan was far enough away that he could no longer hear Brooke. He kept walking around looking for Haley. He had no idea where she would be. Well he had ideas but he wasn't sure where to go first. Keith had finally given up and left Nathan alone to look for Haley.

Brooke went back into the apartment and grabbed her cell phone. If Nathan was looking for Haley she figured that she should give her friend a head's up.

"Hey it's me," she said when Haley answered.

"What's up?" Haley replied.

"Nate's looking for you."

"What? Oh god, did he seem angry?"

"I'm not really sure. I told him to stay away from you but he laughed at me. Please be careful Haley."

"I will. Thanks for letting me know."

"You're welcome."

"Bye."

Brooke closed her phone and turned around to see Jake holding Avery as he sat on the couch watching some basketball game or something. She smiled to herself as she thought that having Jake around was going to be really good for Avery.

"What are you boys watching?" she asked.

"USC and Notre Dame," Jake replied.

"Basketball?"

"No. Football."

"Oh."

Brooke flopped onto the couch next to Jake and leaned her head against his shoulder. It was nice having a guy around. Even if the guy wasn't Lucas. Ten minutes later Brooke was sound asleep. Jake chuckled to himself as he heard her breathing change. Carefully he shifted Avery to the other arm and he pulled Brooke down so her head was in his lap and ran his hands through her hair. As weird as it was to be staying with Brooke, Jake thought it might be worth it as he saw how cute she looked asleep on his lap.

"Avery you can't tell Mommy but she's a very cute sleeper," he whispered to the little boy who just stared back at him.

An hour went by before Brooke woke up. When she did she was surprised to find herself on the couch with her head on Jake's lap. Looking up a smile spread across her face as she saw Jake was asleep with Avery rested carefully in his arms, wide awake.

"Hey baby let's go get Jake a blanket," she whispered as she carefully took Avery from Jake's grasp.

"I'm awake," Jake mumbled as he felt Brooke taking Avery.

"Sure you are," Brooke laughed.

"No really."

"Okay I believe you but it's time for this little guy to go to bed."

"Let me do it."

Brooke nodded as Jake stood up and took Avery down the hall to his bedroom.

"Brooke will you grab my guitar for me?" Jake called from Avery's room after he had changed Avery's diaper and put his pajamas on him.

Brooke walked in the room carrying Jake's guitar. She handed it to him and then quickly snapped a picture of the two boys. Brooke stood in the doorway as Jake began to play a song on his guitar. She continued to stand there and listen as Jake sang to her son.

_If I don't say this now I will surely break_

_As I'm leaving the one I want to take_

_Forgive the urgency but hurry up and wait_

_My heart has started to separate_

_Oh, oh, oh_

_Oh, oh, oh_

_Be my baby_

_Oh, oh, oh_

_Oh, oh, oh_

_Be My Baby_

_I'll look after you_

_There now, steady love, so few come and don't go _

_Will you won't you, be the one I always know _

_When I'm losing my control, the city spins around _

_You're the only one who knows, you slow IT down_

_Oh, oh, oh_

_Oh, oh, oh_

_Be my baby_

_Oh, oh, oh_

_Oh, oh, oh_

_Be my baby_

_I'll look after you_

_If ever there was a doubt_

_My love she leans into me_

_This most assuredly counts_

_She says most assuredly_

_Oh, oh, oh_

_Oh, oh, oh_

_Be my baby_

_Oh, oh, oh_

_Be my baby_

_I'll look after you_

_I'll look after you_

_It's always have and never hold_

_You've begun to feel like home_

_What's mine is yours to leave or take_

_What's mine is yours to make your own_

_Oh, oh, oh_

_Oh, oh, oh_

_Be my baby_

_Oh, oh, oh_

_Oh, oh, oh_

_Be my baby_

_I'll look after you _

As soon as Jake was done he and Brooke both realized that Avery was asleep. She smiled as she walked into the room and leaned down to kiss Avery good night before Jake placed him in his crib.

"Good night Avery," Jake said softly as he watched the boy sleep for a minute before turning to see Brooke smile at him.

"You're amazing," was all she said before she threw her arms around him.

"It was nothing really."

"Jake, really it was everything. You have no idea."

"I meant it. Every word. I'll look after him. And you, whatever you need I'll be there for you."

"Thank you."

Brooke kissed his cheek sweetly. Jake stood there completely blown away. He knew that Brooke would appreciate having him around but he wasn't expecting her to react that way. Oh who was he kidding, he knew Brooke would act that way. After all she was still Brooke Davis.

"You're welcome."

Meanwhile Nathan was still looking for Haley. He already tried the River Court and the café and the cemetery but had not found her. Just as he was about to give up he remembered that her and Lucas had made a golf course on the roof of the café. Swiftly he turned around and walked back toward the café hoping that he would find Haley and she would talk to him.

_The song is The Fray "Look After You". Tell me what you thought! You know reviews are my drug!_


	19. Chapter 19

A week had passed since Jake had moved in with Brooke and Avery. She wasn't sure how but it still amazed Brooke that in that week Peyton had yet to run into Jake. She often wondered if Jake was avoiding Peyton so he didn't have to break her heart but Brooke never got the chance to ask him either.

Presently Brooke was dressing Avery for the Ravens' basketball game. She was a little bit nervous to be taking him to the school but at the same time Brooke was excited to see Whitey again. And she knew Whitey wanted to see Avery. Just as she was zipping up Avery's Tree Hill Ravens sweatshirt Jake walked into the room holding a ring out to her.

"Don't you think it's a little early for marriage Jake?" she laughed.

"Actually I just happened to notice this was on your dresser. I didn't want you to think it was gone. I know how much this ring means to you," Jake replied.

"Yeah. Thanks."

Jake watched in bewilderment as Brooke reluctantly took the ring back and slid it on her left hand. Something wasn't right and he was determined to find out what it was exactly. But just as he was about say something there was a knock on the door. Followed by footsteps. Jake couldn't help but laugh when he realized that it was Haley. He grabbed Avery's bag off the back of the door before going out to say hi to her.

"Hey Jake. Where are Brooke and Avery," Haley greeted happily.

"Avery's room. I think she's looking for his shoes," Jake replied.

"Brookie! Are you ready yet?" Haley yelled as she walked down to the baby's room.

"In a minute Hales," Brooke replied.

Haley walked into the room and the smile from her face when she saw Brooke sitting in the rocking chair clinging to Avery while tears fell from her eyes. Haley rushed over and knelt in front of the chair.

"What's wrong sweetheart?" she asked.

"I didn't want to put the ring back on," Brooke cried, "I can't be engaged to a dead guy. What was I thinking? This isn't right."

Haley put her hand on the chair to keep it still. She really wanted Brooke to hear her on this.

"Listen to me Brooke. Just because you can never be married to Lucas doesn't mean you should feel like you're not engaged. Maybe it's a little strange but nothing in life is ever completely normal."

"That's not the problem though Hales."

"I don't get it then. What's the problem?"

"I don't think I love him anymore. The ring feels more like a weight then a symbol of love. When Jake gave it back to me it took everything in me not to let it just fall to the floor. I can't do this anymore. I can't wear it!"

Brooke began twisting the ring off of her finger only to have Haley grabbed her hands.

"Just because you don't wanna wear the ring anymore doesn't mean you don't love Luke anymore. It just means maybe you're ready to try something new with someone else," Haley suggested softly.

"That's impossible. There's no one else I want. I'm sure of it," Brooke replied.

"Really? You don't think maybe you want to have something with Jake?"

"Haley are you crazy? I can't have a relationship with Jake!"

"Why not?"

Brooke had opened her mouth to answer Haley but stopped when she saw Jake stick his head in the door.

"Are you ladies ready to go?" he asked.

"Yeah let's go. Here, you take Ave," Brooke answered as she carefully handed her son to Jake.

He watched her closely and noticed that there were dry tears on her cheeks.

"Are you okay?" he asked her.

"Yeah. I'm just a little emotional about going back into that gym and knowing that Lucas' number is hanging from the rafters," Brooke said.

Jake nodded as he grabbed Brooke's hand and held it tightly in his own. Haley couldn't help but smile when she noticed that Brooke didn't even bother trying to pull her hand away. The three of them walked out of the apartment and down the stairs to Brooke's Mustang. She really wasn't in the mood to drive so she told Jake he could drive. His face lit up as she said this because he had been dying to drive the Mustang since he knew Brooke had it.

As Jake was pulling into the Tree Hill High parking lot Brooke felt her nerves go into over drive. She took a deep slow breath to calm herself down before getting out and getting Avery's stroller out of the back of the Mustang. There was no way she was gonna back down now. Whitey was one of very few people in life that Brooke couldn't let down no matter what the circumstances were for her. Shaking with nerves Brooke reached for Jake's hand and gripped it tightly while the other hand was wrapped firmly around the handle of Avery's car seat as she tried to lock it in place.

Haley felt terrible for Brooke. She knew that her friend was nervous about returning to Tree Hill High, more specifically the gym, but she had no idea how bad it was until that very moment. Haley gave Brooke's shoulder a gentle squeeze as they walked into the crowded gym. Right as they walked in Peyton rushed to them immediately with her new guy, Jared, by her side.

"Hey guys. This is Jared," she said with a wide smile.

"Hey," the three of them said politely.

"Jared, this is Jake, Brooke, Haley and the cutest baby in the world, my nephew, Avery."

"Hey," Jared said quietly.

"Peyt are Rach and Shea here yet?" Brooke asked hopefully.

"I'm not sure about them but Mouth's here. Apparently he's doing some announcing this season. Only now he's getting paid for it," Peyton replied.

"That's awesome. I'm glad things are working out for them."

Peyton couldn't help but notice the look of jealousy in Brooke's eyes despite the words she spoke. It was no secret that she was jealous of what they had.

"Hey is Nathan here?" Haley asked, her voice nervous yet hopeful.

As much as she wanted to see Nathan she didn't want to see him twice as much. They hadn't talked in three days and it had been a week since she had seen him. The last she knew he was staying at Dan's beach house.

"I don't think so. But we just got here ourselves. Sorry Hales."

Brooke could see the disappointment on Haley's face. She knew that the last week had been hard on her friend but it was painfully obvious to Brooke that Haley wanted to see Nathan. And despite the fact that she was still mad at Nathan for the way he had treated Haley, Brooke wanted to see him too. Just then she heard Haley gasp behind her and turned around to see Nathan saunter into the gym, smiling.

"Hey everybody. Jagielski, nice to see you back in town man," Nathan said before looking at Haley and nodding his head. He walked away from the group hoping that Haley would get the idea and follow him. He frowned at Haley's hesitation.

"Brooke. What do I do?" Haley asked nervously.

"Go talk to him. I doubt he'd be dumb enough to hit you in public. I'll stand where I can see you. Go for it," Brooke replied as she shoved Haley in Nathan's direction.

Haley nervously approached Nathan and smiled weakly. He smiled in return before clearing his throat. This wasn't going to be easy but it had to be done.

"I know you said you want your space and I respect that Hales. I really do," Nathan started.

"But?" she prompted.

"But I really miss you. I wanna come back to the apartment. I promise I'll never hit you again."

Haley shook her head. There was no way she would let Nathan back in on his word. He blew it for himself when he hit her. If he wanted to come back he was going to have to earn it as far as Haley was concerned.

"Why not?" he asked.

"Because Nathan. You don't get to just come back because you say you won't hit me again. How do I know you're telling the truth," Haley answered.

"I love you Hales. I never meant to hurt you."

"Yeah well you did."

"I'm sorry. Please, baby, can't you forgive me."

"No."

"But Haley."

"No Nathan. You don't get to play the victim. You hit me, not the other way around. Please, stop doing this to me. You don't know how hard it is for me to stand in front of you right now."

Nathan took a step closer to Haley making Haley take a step backward. She didn't know what he was doing but whatever it was Haley wasn't gonna let it happen. Nathan frowned at her as he watched her back away from him. This wasn't how this was supposed to go. It certainly wasn't how it went in his mind. In his mind Haley would have forgiven him and agreed to let him come back to the apartment.

"Hales. I'm sorry for hurting you. Please, let me show you that it wasn't my intention," Nathan pleaded tearfully. He silently cursed himself as the tears fell, this was the last thing he had wanted to do. Especially in a place where he was known as a hardhearted competitor.

"No. Please just leave me alone," Haley answered as she started to walk away.

Not knowing what else to do, Nathan reached out and grabbed her arm. She froze as she felt his hand on her arm. Desperate to get away from him Haley shook his hand off of her and walked over to Brooke without looking back. Nathan watched dejectedly as his wife walked away from him. There was nothing to stop the tears from falling now. He was truly sorry for the way he had treated Haley but she wasn't letting him show her.

"What did he say?" Brooke asked when Haley came back over.

"He was asking to come back to the apartment," Haley replied.

"You're kidding? Does he really think a week is enough time?"

"I guess so."

"You said no right?"

"Of course I said no. But I really didn't want to. Brooke I miss him. I want him to come home."

"I know you do honey. But you can't just give in because he says he's not gonna do it again. I agree with that. He needs to show you that he's sorry and that it won't happen again. Until then I don't think you should let him come back to the apartment."

Haley nodded. She knew Brooke was right but that didn't make her miss having her husband around any less. They walked over to the bleachers and found seats for all of them to sit.

"I'm gonna go find Whitey before the game starts," Brooke said as she lifted Avery from his car seat and walked down the bleachers.

She had just walked out of the gym and in the direction of Whitey's office when she saw him walking toward her.

"Well look who it is," Whitey said with a giant smile.

"Whitey! I was just coming to find you," Brooke said as she returned the smile. Avery squirmed in her arms and she shifted him to the other side. Whitey looked at him and couldn't help thinking how much he looked like Lucas did when he was a baby.

"My gosh, Brooke, he is the spitting image of Lucas."

"I think that every time I look at him."

Whitey nodded.

"I should let you get back to your team. Good luck tonight Whitey," Brooke said before she turned around.

"Hang on just a minute," Whitey said as he reached into his pocket and pulled something out and placed it in Brooke's hand.

"What's this?" she asked as she looked at it.

"When Nathan told me you were pregnant with Lucas' child I had another one of the black wristbands made up with his number and initials on it for Avery. That way, when he's older, he'll have something to honor Lucas with on the basketball court. Cause God knows he'll end up playing. It's in his blood."

Brooke couldn't help but laugh. That was definitely true. Basketball was definitely in the Scott blood and since Avery was half Scott there was a 50-50 chance he would play. She thanked Whitey for the wristband before going back into the gym.

"Hey, was Whitey happy to see you?" Jake asked as Brooke sat down next to him with Avery in her lap.

"Yup. He gave me this too," Brooke replied as she showed Jake the wristband.

"Cool."

Brooke was so busy looking at the court that she hadn't even realized that Rachel was walking toward them carrying Shea in his seat.

"Brooke!" Rachel yelled as she was closer.

"Rachel!" Brooke yelled back excitedly when she spotted her friend, "Get up here and let me see my nephew."

"Nice to know you missed me."

Brooke stuck her tongue out at Rachel as she kissed her hand and placed it on Shea's cheek. Rachel sat down carefully next to Brooke and placed Shea's seat in front of her. She was happy to get out of the house away from her parents. They had been driving her crazy trying to tell her how to take care of Shea.

"How are the parents?" Brooke asked with a grin.

"Shut up. They're getting on my nerves. Honestly, I don't think I could stand being around them for another second tonight. They wouldn't let me out of the house without making sure I had dressed Shea appropriately for the weather even after I told them that I did," Rachel replied.

Brooke was glad that her parents didn't do that to her. And she was also glad that Karen and Keith didn't either. They trusted that Brooke would be smart enough not to put Avery in clothes that weren't weather appropriate. She wasn't sure how warm or cold the gym would be when she was getting him ready for the game so she decided to put his Ravens jersey on over a long sleeve t-shirt and under his sweatshirt just in case. Brooke and Rachel were so wrapped up in their conversation that neither one of them noticed that the game had started until the entire gym erupted in a thunderous cheer. Obviously the Ravens had scored.

"Jake who are they playing? I don't recognize this uniform," Brooke asked when she looked at the court.

"It's Oak Lake. They have new uniforms," Jake replied.

"Oh goody, maybe my boyfriend is here," Haley said sarcastically.

Everybody laughed at this. Damien West had played for Oak Lake and was Nathan's arch nemesis. He also seemed to have a thing for Haley and often referred to her as his "girlfriend" and it always pissed both Haley and Nathan off.

When the first half was over, Tree Hill was down 34-28. Brooke could see the frustration on Whitey's face as the teams went back to the locker rooms. She felt bad that things weren't going well but knew that the Ravens could come from behind. It had happened many times during her four years of high school. The girls decided that since it was half time they would leave Avery and Shea with Mouth, Jake and Jared and go to the bathroom. As soon as they walked in Rachel turned to Brooke and asked the "million dollar question".

"What's with you and Jake?"

"Nothing. He's just helping me take care of Avery and I'm helping him out with a roof over his head," Brooke replied.

"That's crap. You're all starry-eyed Brooke."

"No I'm not."

Brooke crossed her arms defiantly. Rachel, Peyton and Haley all laughed at her. They thought it was cute how in denial Brooke was acting. It obvious to the three of them that Brooke was developing feelings for Jake and it was more than obvious that Jake had already fallen for Brooke.

"B, I hate to say it because you know my history with Jake but I think she's right. You are starry-eyed," Peyton said.

"I can't be! I can't be starry-eyed. I'm still wearing an engagement ring for crying out loud," Brooke protested.

"But that's not what it is to you anymore. You told me that earlier," Haley reminded her.

Rachel and Peyton both gasped in shock at Haley's words while Brooke stared hard into her friend's eyes.

"See Brooke, if the meaning behind the ring on your finger has changed then something is going on in your heart," Peyton said.

"I don't wanna hurt you Peyton," Brooke said quietly.

"What are you talking about Brooke?"

"I don't wanna do to you with Jake what you did to me with Lucas! I don't want you to feel the pain I felt then. It's a miracle I lived through it and I vowed to never do it to anyone in return because that kind of pain really hurts."

"Brooke you could never do to me what Lucas and I did to you. Not with Jake. Jake and I aren't together like you and Luke were together. Besides I know he doesn't feel anything for me other friendship. I can see it in his eyes. The sparkle that used to be there when he looked at me isn't there. It's only there when he's looking at you or Avery now. It's you that Jake wants Brooke, not me."

Brooke shook her head furiously. She didn't want to hear this. She wanted Peyton to take it all back but she knew that wasn't going to happen. Rachel and Haley didn't say anything because they weren't sure what to say or if there was even anything either of them could say at this point. It was clear to them that Jake had eyes for Brooke and Brooke was beginning to feel the same way about Jake but desperately trying to fight it. After a few minutes Haley spoke up breaking the silence that had enveloped the four girls.

"Brooke are you sure it's Peyton you don't wanna hurt and not Lucas' memory?" Haley asked carefully.

"Brooke you don't have to be afraid to love someone. Lucas would want to see you happy. If you like Jake, let go of whatever fear is holding you back and show him," Rachel said gently.

The four of them stood in silence again. Peyton, Haley and Rachel were all looking at Brooke as the tears continued to fall from her eyes. Listening to her friends was getting to be too much. She didn't want them to say it was okay to not be wholly devoted to Lucas anymore because it didn't seem right to her. Even if he was dead, Lucas was still the father of her child and that was something she had to consider.

While the girls were in the bathroom Mouth, Jake and Jared had stayed in the gym with Avery and Shea who were both sleeping in their seats. Mouth and Jake were currently questioning Jared about how he knew Peyton.

"Jared how do you and Peyton know each other?" Jake asked curiously.

"We met in an art class at THCC," Jared replied.

"Oh so you're an artist too?"

"Yeah but don't let Peyton fool you. She's better than I am. Although she likes to tell me otherwise. It's kind of cute actually."

"Sounds like Peyton. Always being modest about her talents. She is amazing at what she does. I've always thought so."

"What's the deal with you and her?" Jared asked, turning the tables on Jake.

"We were together for a little while but then I was having some custody issues with my daughter's mother and things got out of control so I ended up leaving town and breaking her heart. But that's all in the past. I don't have feelings for her anymore," Jake answered.

"That's kind of obvious," Mouth laughed.

"What are you talking about?"

"I can tell you're into Brooke."

"How?"

"Just the way you're protective of her. And the way you're so tentative to her every need. Or maybe it's the way you've given up your life in Savannah to come back to Tree Hill and taken on the influential male role in Avery's life without complaining."

"I don't have a thing for Brooke. Besides, she's still wearing that engagement ring for Lucas so it wouldn't matter even if I did. She's never gonna take it off for another guy. Peyton told me all about the day she went down to the docks after Karen gave her the ring and the letter from Lucas to answer his written proposal. Brooke is a person of her word and if she said she was going to die engaged to Lucas, that's how it's gonna be. And I didn't give up my life in Savannah, I was kicked out so I had to come back."

"Just talk to her Jake. I think she's only wearing it because she doesn't think there's anyone she wants to take it off for."

Jake shook his head. That was the craziest thing he had ever heard. Why would Brooke leave a ring on if she didn't really want to wear it? That's when he remembered her reluctance to put the ring back on earlier that night when he had given it back to her. Maybe Mouth was right. Maybe Brooke was only wearing it to hide from other guys.

A few minutes later the girls came back from the bathroom and Jake smiled at Brooke as she sat next to him. Rachel, Peyton and Haley watched closely as Brooke moved closer to Jake and then rested her head on his shoulder. Smiling to himself Jake wrapped his arm around Brooke's shoulder and pulled her even closer to his body.

"What did you guys talk about while we were gone?" Peyton asked Jared.

"Paris Hilton," Jared laughed.

"You're such a bad liar."

"I know."

"Seriously, what did you talk about?"

"Just random stuff. I figured I should get to know your friends if I'm gonna be sticking around for a while."

"Oh really?"

"Yes. You can't get rid of me that easily Peyton Sawyer."

Peyton blushed at Jared's words and Brooke, Haley and Rachel all snickered at them. Which of course made Peyton blush even more.

"And what if I said I didn't want to get rid of you Jared Reynolds?" Peyton retorted.

"I'd say good," Jared replied as he lifted Peyton's face with his finger and kissed her softly.

"Aww," Brooke said as she turned to see them kiss.

Peyton shoved Brooke playfully as soon as they broke the kiss. It was bad enough having to deal with Brooke making her blush but she couldn't take much more of the teasing at the moment.

The game ended an hour later. Tree Hill had of course come from behind to beat the Oak Lake Owls, 64-60. The gang was getting ready to leave when Haley heard Nathan calling her name. She tried to ignore him but it was really hard when his voice became desperate. Reluctantly she turned around to see what he wanted and without warning she felt his lips crash down on hers. When Haley finally regained her composure she broke the kiss and shoved Nathan away.

"Haley, please. I know I was wrong. I wanna come home," Nathan pleaded desperately.

"No. Nathan I told you already. Telling me doesn't mean a thing. You have to show me that things will be different. You have to show me that I can trust you because right now I don't know if I can or if I should trust you again," Haley replied stubbornly.

"Nathan, go back to the beach house. Leave Haley alone. A week isn't enough time," Brooke said sternly.

"How do you know what is enough time? You're still crying over my brother and it's been eight months," Nathan shot back angrily.

"And you're not crying over Lucas? Isn't that why you hit Haley in the first place? Because you hit a new stage in your grief over your dead brother?"

Nathan was silent. He knew that Brooke had nailed him on that one. She smiled knowingly at him when he still hadn't said anything.

"Exactly. You don't get to say anything about me crying over Lucas when you're hitting your wife because you miss him. Asshole."

Brooke turned on her heels and walked out to her car with Jake and Avery. Haley shrugged her shoulders at Nathan as she turned to follow Brooke out to the car. It was dark out otherwise she would have walked back to the apartment.

"Brooke I'm sorry Nathan was being an ass," Haley apologized when she caught up to them.

"Don't be sorry Hales. It's not your fault," Brooke replied as they got in the car and headed back to the apartment.

When they got back to the apartment Haley asked if she could put Avery to bed. Brooke agreed and the three of them walked into the dark apartment. Jake flipped the lights on and made the girls scream as the bright lights shone in their eyes without warning. He couldn't help but laugh at their reaction. Haley took Avery out of his car seat and carried him down to his bedroom to get him ready for bed. She was glad to see Jake's guitar was in the room because that was going to make putting her nephew to bed that much easier. Just like Jake had done every night for the past week, Haley changed Avery into his pajamas and then placed him in his crib before she sat down in the rocking chair and picked up the guitar and began to play.

"This is a song I wrote for your daddy when we were in high school. I told him that when he had children I would tell them about it and sing for them," Haley said as she started to play, "It's called 'Carry Me With You'."

When Haley finished singing the song, she had to reach up and wipe the tears out of her eyes. Singing that song to Avery made her miss Lucas more than she had in a long time. But she was glad to have had the opportunity. She carefully returned Jake's guitar to its case and rested it against the wall.

"Good night Avery," she whispered as she closed the door and walked out to the living room. She was surprised to find that neither Brooke or Jake were in there. In fact, the apartment was eerily quiet but as Haley stood still she could hear sniffling coming from Brooke's bedroom. Turning on her heels Haley made her way to the bedroom and knocked on the door waiting for Brooke to respond before going in.

"Hales," Brooke whimpered.

"What is it Tigger?" Haley asked as she lay on the bed next to Brooke and hugged her tightly.

"I think it's happening."

"What?"

"I think I'm letting go of Lucas."

Haley didn't say anything.

"I'm scared," Brooke said as the tears flowed faster.

"It's okay Brookie. Luke would want you to be happy," Haley said softly as she wiped the tears from Brooke's eyes.

"What if it's too soon? I don't wanna get hurt."

"You'll be okay Brooke. I don't think Jake is gonna hurt you."

"Who said anything about Jake?"

"Well if not Jake then who is it that you're letting go of Lucas for?"

Brooke didn't have an answer. She knew that Jake was the guy that she was slowly letting go of Lucas for. Even more than that, she knew that Haley knew Jake was the guy too.

"I don't wanna hurt Peyton. I really can't lose her now," Brooke admitted quietly.

"Didn't you hear Peyton tonight? She can't get hurt. Jake doesn't want her. He wants you. Don't worry about her. Just focus on you."

Brooke sniffled as the tears continued to fall. She really was lucky to have such amazing friends even if she didn't always feel like she deserved it or told them.

"Thanks Hales."

"What for?"

"Being there when I needed someone."

"You don't have to thank me for that."

"Yes I do. It's important to me that you always know how much I appreciate everything you've done to help me."

"You're welcome Brookie. You know you'll always have me."

Haley moved to slide off the bed but Brooke pulled her back.

"Stay here tonight," she asked.

"Okay," Haley replied as she lay back down next to Brooke.

Not even five minutes later the two girls were asleep. They were still asleep next to each other with their heads on each other's shoulders when Jake went to check on Brooke in the morning. He carefully grabbed Brooke's camera from her dresser and took a picture of them before he closed the door again and went to check on Avery. Jake wasn't surprised to see that Avery was awake. Unlike his parents, Avery was definitely an early bird.

"Morning little guy. What do you say we get you out of there and put a fresh diaper on you?" Jake said as he wrinkled his nose at Avery.

Fifteen minutes later Jake had Avery dressed and in his bouncy seat and was feeding him baby cereal while he made himself some toast and coffee. Jake was just cleaning up the mess he had made trying to get Avery to eat when Brooke and Haley walked into the kitchen looking sleepy.

"Morning sleeping beauties," Jake laughed.

"Coffee," Brooke said.

"Food," Haley said.

"Sit down, I'll make you some breakfast. How does ham and cheddar omelets sound?"

The girls nodded in approval as they sat at the table and put their heads in their arms. Jake laughed at them as he went about making breakfast for them. Twenty minutes later Jake was setting two plates on the table, one in front of Brooke and the other in front of Haley.

"Jake this is amazing. Where did you learn to cook like this?" Brooke asked as she stuffed a forkful of omelet in her mouth.

"Actually Karen taught me when I was working at the café," he said.

Brooke nodded as she kept eating. Jake watched her and he felt his heart melt. Brooke was by far the only girl that Jake thought was a cute eater.

"Avery is there anything your mom does that isn't cute?" he asked.

"Bah," Avery replied.

"I didn't think so."

Watching Jake have a conversation with Avery made Brooke laugh so hard that she nearly shot omelet out of her nose. That of course made Haley laugh and she did shoot coffee out of her nose. Yelping as it burned. The three of them erupted into a fit of laughter. When they were done with breakfast Haley decided to go back to her apartment and take a shower. They were going to take Avery to the mall while Jake went to work.

"I'll be back in 20 Brooke," Haley said as she walked out the door.

Jake emerged from his room ready for work. Brooke was sitting on the couch with Avery in her lap watching something on the TV.

"I'm heading off to work. I'll see you later. Have fun shopping," Jake said as he waved his hand at Brooke.

"Have a good day at work," Brooke replied sweetly as she waved back.

Jake nodded as he closed the door behind him, leaving Brooke alone with Avery. And her thoughts.

"Ave what do you think of Jake? Is he a nice guy?" she asked as she turned him around so she could see his face.

"Gah," Avery answered.

"Yeah, you're right. Jake is a nice guy."

Sighing Brooke rose to her feet so she could get ready to go out with Haley. She carefully placed Avery in the playpen that was in her bedroom while she got changed. Before she left the room Brooke stood in front of the dresser and looked at her left hand. Nodding to herself she took a deep breath as she slid the ring off and placed it back in the box that sat on the dresser on top of the letter. Brooke looked at the picture of her and Lucas that was hanging in her mirror and smiled sadly. It was time for her to move on. But that didn't mean she'd ever forget Lucas.

"I'll always love you," she said softly before kissing her hand and laying it on the picture.

Brooke was just lifting Avery from the playpen when she heard Haley come in.

"Brooke are you ready?" Haley yelled.

"Yeah I'll be right there!" Brooke yelled back as she grabbed Avery's bag from his room and then met Haley in the living room.

"Let's go," she said as they walked out the door.

_I could have made this the last chapter but I know how I wanna end this…there should be at least one, maybe two, more chapters. Let me know what you think! _


	20. Chapter 20

_I'm soooooo sorry it's taken so long to get this chapter posted. I've had the worst luck with my computer lately and then had severely case of writer's block but I managed to get this done. Enjoy! This is the FINAL chapter…watch for the sequel. Hopefully it won't take another 3 months to get that going…_

Brooke and Haley had only been gone for an hour and they were both already carrying an arm load of bags each. They were just about to enter another store when Brooke's phone went off. She groaned as she tried to maneuver her bags to get to her phone which, of course, was at the bottom of her purse. After what seemed like an eternity, Brooke finally had her phone in her hand. Flipping it open Brooke saw that she had a text message. A smile exploded across her face when she read it, **I miss u. Luv-Jake**.

"What does it say?" Haley asked anxiously when she saw the smile on Brooke's face.

Instead of reading it to Haley, Brooke showed her the message. She wasn't surprised when she saw the eyebrow rise.

"Love Jake huh?" Haley teased.

"We're _just_ friends," Brooke insisted.

"Oh I know. But you might want to make sure Jake knows."

Brooke rolled her eyes as she hit reply and then wrote **Miss u 2 luv-Brooke** and hit send. As soon as the message was sent Brooke closed her phone and put it away. It hadn't hit her until then that she really did miss Jake and she couldn't wait to see him. The more Brooke thought about it, the more it scared her. She really was moving on.

"Hey are you okay?" Haley asked.

"Yeah I'm fine. If you call the fact that I miss Jake fine that is," Brooke replied.

"There's nothing wrong with missing him Brooke. You guys are just friends; at least that's what you told me not five minutes ago. Friends are allowed to miss friends. It's okay."

"I know. I just wigged out for nothing. The only guy I've ever missed until now was Lucas."

Haley nodded. Now she understood what was going on. Even though Brooke was moving on it was going to be a slow, and potentially painful, process. And more than that, it was scary for Brooke to realize the one thing she didn't think would ever happen was beginning to happen to her. Haley thought it was possibly because of Jake's constant presence but she didn't want to mention anything to Brooke.

They walked around the mall for another hour before Avery started getting fussy. Brooke took that as their hint to get out of the mall. And it was a good thing she did too because as soon as they were outside Avery was screaming his head off. His screams were so loud and ear piercing that it made Brooke nervous that something was seriously wrong with him. He had never cried like this before.

"Baby what's wrong? Are you hungry?" Brooke asked as she tried to give Avery a bottle.

He turned his head away and kept screaming which made Brooke's stress level go up. How was she supposed to calm her son down? Then an idea came to mind. Since they were still in front of the mall entrance Brooke placed her bags on the ground and then lifted Avery out of his stroller. As soon as Brooke had him in her arms the screaming stopped. Carefully, with Haley's help, Brooke placed all her bags in the stroller and then pushed it with one hand while she tightly held onto Avery with the other hand. The last thing she needed was to drop her son on the pavement.

When they got back to the apartment Brooke took Avery into his room and put him down for his morning nap. She stayed in the room with him and watched as he fell asleep and then quietly left to go check the messages.

"Hey Brookie its Ryan. Just calling to see how things are going with you and Avery. Hope all is well. Love you kiddo. Call me back. I got some news to share," Ryan said. Brooke smiled as she waited for the next message to start.

"Hi Brooke. It's Karen. We need to talk. Call me back as soon as you can. Talk to you later sweetheart."

Brooke smiled again but this time she was slightly nervous. Ryan wanted to tell her something and Karen's voice sounded a little bit off. Something definitely wasn't right there either. Sighing Brooke decided to call Ryan back first.

"Hey Peanut," Ryan said when he picked up the phone.

"Hey Ry. I got your message. What's up?" Brooke replied.

"I have good news and bad news. Well actually, two pieces of good news and one piece of bad. What do you want me to tell you first?"

"Bad."

"Okay. I just got the official word but I've been released."

"Aw, Ryan, that sucks. I'm sorry bro. Maybe you can get signed by someone out here. I wouldn't complain."

"Well maybe. We'll see. So far only West Coast teams have ever shown interest in obtaining me. But that could change. I've got friends out there that have been putting a word in for me to play for their clubs too."

"Ryan that would be so great! Now what is the good news?"

"Well first of all I get to come see my sister and nephew next week."

"Goody! Oh shoot."

"What?"

"You'll have to sleep on the couch in the living room."

"Why? What happened to the other bedroom?"

"I have a roommate."

"Peyton moved in with you."

"No. Jake did." Brooke braced herself for Ryan's reaction. She was sure he was going to hit the roof. And he did.

"Hang on a minute. Did my baby sister just tell me she's living with a _guy_?"

"What's the big deal Ryan?"

"The big deal. The big deal is you're barely even 18 years old and already living with some guy. What is wrong with you?"

"There's nothing wrong with me! I still don't see the problem. In case you forgot I got _pregnant_ at 17 and had to deal with losing my boyfriend, who is also the father of my child. So my living with Jake is _not _that big a deal!"

"Are you sleeping with this guy?"

"That is none of your damn business!"

Brooke was livid. She couldn't believe Ryan had the balls to talk to her the way he was. He wasn't her father. He had no right to get mad at her. Shouldn't he be glad that there was someone under her roof to be a male influence in his nephew's life? Brooke thought so but apparently that didn't mean anything to Ryan.

"How do you figure it's not my business Brooke? You're my sister of course it's my business."

"No, actually, it's not. You're not my father! I don't have to tell you a damn thing," Brooke replied before she hung up and threw the phone at the door.

As soon as the phone crashed to the floor Brooke slid down against the wall and dropped her head into her hands and let the tears flow. She was still sitting in the same position when Jake walked into the apartment three hours later.

Jake had been smiling at the thought of seeing Brooke and Avery but that smile faded when he saw Brooke slumped on the floor crying.

"Hey what's wrong?" he asked as he lifted her off the floor and brought her into the bedroom.

"He thinks we're sleeping together," Brooke cried.

"Who does?"

"Ryan."

"Why does he think that?"

"Because you live here."

"That doesn't make sense."

"I know."

Jake hated seeing Brooke like this. And now he wanted to kick her brother's ass for doing this to her. Except he knew that would upset Brooke and he didn't want to do that either. Jake brushed the hair from her face and kissed her forehead.

"You get some rest. I'll take Avery out for a little while. I'll bring Chinese back for dinner."

Brooke shook her head. Now that Jake was here she didn't want him to leave her alone. She needed him to stay with her.

"Stay with me. Please," she said quietly.

"Okay," he said.

Brooke moved over to make room for Jake and he lay down next to her. They lay there silently as Jake reached over and took Brooke's hand in his.

"You know that no matter what Ryan thinks about me living here I'm not going anywhere," he whispered into her ear.

"I know. I just wish he hadn't said that. It hurts so much to hear my brother basically calling me a slut. He's never been a jerk like that before."

"Shh, baby its okay. Don't cry."

_Baby? Did Jake just call me baby? _Brooke asked herself panicky.

_Oh god, did I just call her baby? I hope that I didn't freak her out _Jake thought to himself as he lay next to her silently.

Jake tilted Brooke's head and kissed her tears away. As he did this Brooke felt her heart flutter. No one had been this good to her since Lucas was alive. Oh god how she missed Lucas, especially at times like this when all she could do was cry. He had always been there to kiss away her tears and now he wasn't. But Jake was there and he had kissed away her tears. Brooke's heart began to race a mile a minute as she realized that Jake was slowly becoming more essential to her survival than before.

"Brooke," Jake said softly.

"Yeah?" she replied.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Honestly?"

Jake nodded.

"How good it feels having you here with me."

"I'm always gonna be here for you. I mean it. Always Brooke."

She nodded as more tears fell from her eyes. Ever since Lucas had died all she wanted was someone to love her. And now that she thought she might have that person she was terrified beyond all comprehension. What if something happened to Jake now? Lucas used to promise her the same thing and he was gone.

"What is it baby? Why are you crying?" Jake asked gently.

_Oh man I did it again. I can't keep doing that. We're just friends. Get a grip on yourself Jake _he chided himself.

"Because Luke promised to always be there for me and now he's dead. What if something happens to you? I can't lose another person. I can't lose another guy," Brooke cried.

Jake sat up and grabbed Brooke's hands. She looked at him curiously waiting for him to speak.

"Brooke listen to me. I promise you nothing is going to happen to me. I know you're scared because Luke said the same thing and ultimately that didn't end up being true but Jimmy Edwards was a sick kid. If he could, Lucas would still be here and he'd be lying on this bed with you while you cry. Not me. But this is how it is. And I swear on Luke's grave that nothing is going to happen to me. I will be fine and I will always be here for you and Avery. I swear," Jake said as he looked Brooke right in her eyes.

"How can you promise me that when you know I'm going to worry all the time?" Brooke asked.

"Because I believe it to be true. Just as Luke believed it to be true all those times he said it. Nobody knows when they die, but while I'm here, Brooke, I'm going to be there for you and Avery and there's nothing anyone can say or do to make me change my mind."

Brooke shook her head. Something was messed up about this whole situation. Something that was staring Brooke in the face but she wasn't seeing. As she looked around the room, it occurred to her what was wrong when her gaze landed on her dresser. More specifically the ring box which now held the ring from Lucas which she had really taken off. And now here she was, listening to Jake promise to always be there for her and for her son. Why was that so hard for her to hear? _Because the last time someone promised to always be there for me, he died in my arms! I can't go through it again. I won't _Brooke thought.

"Please, don't make me a promise you can't keep," Brooke pleaded tearfully.

"But I didn't. I'm gonna be there for you. Always and forever," Jake replied.

"Have you been hanging out with Nathan lately?"

"What?"

"That's his thing with Haley. 'Always and forever', I've never heard anyone but the two of them say it."

"Oh. No I haven't been hanging out with Nathan lately. Although speaking of Nathan and Haley, how are they doing?"

"I don't know about Nathan but Haley is falling apart without him. She wants him to come home but at the same time she knows she can't let him."

Jake nodded. He hated to think that some of the most important people in his life were going through tough times and there didn't seem to be anything he could to help. It was hard enough getting Brooke to trust that he wasn't going anywhere. He couldn't imagine how hard it would be to talk to Haley about what she's going through with Nathan. And he knew he couldn't talk to Nathan because he was still pissed at him for hitting Haley.

They continued to lie on the bed silently. After what seemed like an eternity Brooke opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by her cell phone. She jumped when she realized that it was Karen's ring tone and suddenly she remembered that she was supposed to call her earlier and hadn't done it.

"Hey Karen," she said as she did her best to hide the fact that she had been crying for the last three hours.

"Hi Brooke. Are you okay?" Karen replied.

"Yeah. I'm okay. I'm sorry I didn't call you back. Is everything okay you sounded kind of I don't know, off on the message?"

"Actually could you come over here? Keith and I need to talk to you about something important."

"Okay. Should I bring Avery with me or leave him here with Jake?"

"Bring him with you and Jake can come too. You might want the extra support."

"Why? Karen what's going on? Are you okay? Is Keith okay?"

"Just be here in a half hour. I'll explain everything then."

"Okay. See you in a half hour. Bye."

"Bye."

Brooke closed her phone and turned back to see Jake smiling at her.

"We have to go over to Karen's. She said that she and Keith have to talk to me and I might want to have you there for 'extra support'," Brooke said.

"Okay. No problem. I'll go get Avery," Jake said as he rose to his feet and moved to leave the room. As he passed by Brooke grabbed his arm and pulled him into a hug. He returned the hug and then looked at her questioningly after pulling back.

"Thanks," she said simply.

"What for?" he asked.

"Everything."

Jake nodded as he left the room and walked down the hall to Avery's room. He was surprised to see that Avery was still sound asleep. Careful not to wake him up Jake lifted Avery out of the crib and took him over to the changing table to get a new diaper on him before they left.

Meanwhile Brooke was in the bedroom changing into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Then out of habit she grabbed Lucas' sweatshirt and slipped it over her head. Even though she would have Jake there, she wanted to feel like Lucas was with her too but she couldn't bring herself to put the ring back on.

"Oh crap. They're gonna ask why I'm not wearing it," Brooke whispered.

For a brief moment she considered putting it back on just to avoid the questioning but she knew that was wrong. If they asked why she was no longer wearing the ring, Brooke would have to tell them the truth. It was no longer out of love that she wore it but out of obligation. That made it feel like a weight and she was tired of feeling that way. Now all that was left to do was hope that she didn't actually have to explain anything to them about the ring.

"Brooke are you ready?" Jake asked.

"Yeah," she answered as she walked out of the room.

Since it was nice out, they decided to walk over to the house instead of taking one of their cars. Avery had woken up and was fascinated by the different sounds he heard as they made their way along the streets of Tree Hill. As they were passing the River Court, Avery's excitement grew. He was giggling and waving his arms wildly. Then suddenly, without any provoking from Brooke or Jake, he screamed, "DA!" Brooke stopped the stroller suddenly when she realized what had just happened. Jake's mouth was open wide.

"Baby, what did you say?" Brooke asked as she crouched in front of Avery.

"Da!" he squealed again.

"Where's Daddy?"

Avery waved his arms in the direction of the River Court. Brooke was amazed that her 5, almost 6, month old son knew that his father's favorite place in Tree Hill was the River Court. She knew that she had told him many stories about Lucas playing ball down there but how did he know that was the River Court?

"Daddy's not there pal. But he is in here," Brooke said as she pointed to her heart and then his.

"Da?" Avery said.

"Later baby."

Brooke went around to the back of the stroller again and continued walking toward Karen's. She was completely floored by what had just happened.

"Are you okay Brooke?" Jake asked gently.

"I'm fine," she whispered, desperately hoping the tears she was fighting wouldn't fight back.

"No you're not. Talk to me. What's wrong?"

"Avery's not even 6 months old and already knows where his daddy should be. How am I going to tell him the truth about what happened? I can't bear the thought of breaking his heart. What if he blames me for it Jake?"

"Hey! Avery does not and will not blame you for Lucas' death. Of course it's going to hurt you to tell him the truth but don't you think it would hurt him more if you didn't? I'm not saying you have to tell him now because even though he's sure to hear you, he probably won't comprehend what you're telling him. Don't worry about it. When the time comes, you'll cross that bridge and when that time comes, I'll help you through it. I meant it when I said I'm gonna be there Brooke. You just have to trust me and let me show you."

Brooke nodded silently as they kept walking. A few minutes later they were standing on the porch. Brooke had taken Avery out of his stroller and pushed it off to the side.

"Hey Brooke," Keith said when he opened the door a minute later, then immediately pulled her into a hug before stealing Avery from her.

"Hey Keith," Brooke replied with a smile.

He opened the door for Brooke and Jake to enter and closed it behind them. They all went into the living room where Karen was sitting on the couch. She got to her feet when she saw Brooke and Jake walking into the room and hugged them both.

"Okay, Karen, before I explode, can you please tell me what's going on?" Brooke said with a nervous smile.

Karen took a deep breath before speaking and then before she knew it, the words that she was sure were going to turn Brooke's world upside down came out of her mouth.

"Dan wants to be a part of Avery's life," Karen said slowly.

"What did you just say?"

"Dan wants to be a part of Avery's life."

"Why? Does he know that I hate him?"

"He feels like he owes it to Lucas' memory to get to know his grandson."

"I never even got to tell Lucas he was going to be a father so why does he feel like that? Wait a minute, how does Dan even know about Avery?"

"Nathan told him."

"What? I'm gonna _kill_ Nathan."

Brooke was boiling over with anger. She couldn't believe Dan's audacity to think that she would actually let him near her son. And what's more, she couldn't believe that Nathan would tell Dan that he had a grandchild. What was wrong with him? Oh wait, Brooke knew he's depressed about his situation with Haley.

"Brooke I know you're angry with Nathan for telling Dan but maybe," Karen started to say.

"No! Don't you dare tell me I should let that heathen into my son's life. It's not gonna happen. I can't believe you would even suggest that Karen," Brooke snapped.

This was worse than Brooke thought it was going to be. She would have rather Karen tell her that she was dying or that Keith was dying. Anything would have been better than hearing that Dan wanted to be a part of Avery's life or that Nathan had told him that he was a grandfather. Although as far as Brooke was concerned, Keith was Avery's grandfather, not Dan.

"Brooke," Keith said gently.

"No, not you too Keith, you know what kind of animal your brother is. Come on. Do you really think he deserves to be a part of Avery's life?" Brooke replied.

"Maybe not but"

"No buts. Tell him I said to forget it. There's nothing he can do or say to change my mind. Dan Scott will never be a part of Avery's life as long as I have a say in the matter. If when he's older and Dan hasn't died or been murdered, Avery decides he wants to know Dan then that'll be his choice. For now I completely oppose."

"Brooke, I don't want you to get mad at me but maybe they're right. Maybe you should at least give Dan a chance. You never know, people can surprise you," Jake said softly.

"I can't Jake. He doesn't deserve a second chance. He was horrible to Karen and to Luke. I'm not giving that piece of shit the opportunity to be just as horrible to my son. Besides if he wants this opportunity as much as he claims to than he should have said something to me himself," Brooke replied.

Karen, Keith and Jake could all see that the brunette was shattering in front of them. More than that Jake could see the fear of ignoring Dan in her eyes too. As much as he wanted to support Brooke's choice, Jake knew that it wasn't the right thing but since Avery wasn't his son he didn't feel he had the right to say anything.

"That's not all of it Brooke," Karen said not taking her eyes off the spot on the floor where she had been staring.

"What is it Karen?" Brooke asked, a panic in her voice, "Oh god, you really are dying. No! You can't."

Karen couldn't bring herself to look at the young girl. She knew that she was going to have to tell her sooner or later.

"What's wrong Karen? Is it cancer?"

"Yes," Karen said just above a whisper.

Brooke felt as if her entire world had just been tilted and shaken up. As if losing Lucas hadn't been bad enough now she stood to lose his mother to cancer and potentially having to deal with Dan Scott on a regular basis in one visit. She desperately didn't want to cry but her tears got the best of her and Brooke let them flow unchecked. With each tear that fell Brooke went from being upset to angry to scared to curious.

"How long?" she whispered nervously.

"How long what Brooke?" Karen asked.

"How long have you known Karen? How long have you known that you're sick?"

Brooke felt bad for screaming at Karen but again her emotions were getting the best of her and the words were flying out of her mouth before she could even think about how harsh they might sound to someone else.

"Brooke, please. I know this is hard for you but don't you think it's hard on us as well?" Keith asked trying not to yell.

"I know I'm sorry Keith. I just I dunno, I can't bear the idea of losing you Karen. Not after going through losing Lucas. I wasn't sure I was strong enough for that and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be strong enough to get through losing you too," Brooke replied quietly as tears continued to roll down her cheeks.

"Brooke, come on. We should get going. Avery looks really tired," Jake said quietly.

Brooke didn't respond. Jake wasn't sure if it was because she hadn't heard him or that she was too upset to answer him. Whatever the reason he really thought it would be good for them to get back to their apartment so they could put Avery down for a nap. He decided he would wait a few minutes before speaking again.

"You're not going to lose me Brooke. I promise," Karen said seriously.

"No. Don't you promise me that Karen. You can't promise me something like that! Luke promised me the same thing and look how well that worked out! Don't make promises you can't keep," Brooke yelled before storming out of the house past Jake who held a sleeping Avery in his arms.

Karen made a motion to go after Brooke but Keith placed a hand on her shoulder and she stopped. Turning to face him, Karen saw him shaking his head at her.

"If you go after her it's not going to help anything. I know you want to promise that she's not going to lose you but you know as much as she does that's one thing you can't do. And I know you understand that she loves you," Keith said softly.

"I know but I just want her to know that I'm going to fight this as best I can. She's too much like a daughter to me and I don't want to miss seeing my grandson grow up into a gentleman either," Karen replied.

"I know you're going to fight the cancer with all your strength but I don't want you to get stressed over it. Now why don't you go lie down for a while and give Brooke a call later on."

Karen nodded. She walked over to Jake and hugged him and kissed Avery's forehead before going up to her bedroom to rest. She was pretty tired and until now she didn't even realize it.

"Well I think Ave and I are gonna head out. I'm sorry things are turning out this way," Jake said to Keith.

"So am I, Jake, so am I. You take care of Avery and Brooke," Keith replied.

"I will. See you later Keith."

"Bye Jake."

With that Jake turned and left the house. He stopped on the porch to get Avery's stroller and gently placed the sleeping little boy into it and buckled him in carefully. As Jake walked along the streets of Tree Hill, it came as no surprise as he passed the River Court that Brooke was sitting on top of one of the picnic tables looking out over the river. Careful not to make her jump, Jake wheeled the stroller next to the table before he sat next to her.

Brooke was in such a daze that she hadn't realized that Jake and Avery were there with her until she felt Jake's hand grab hers. She looked at him with such sadness in her young face.

"Jake I can't lose Karen. That would just kill me," Brooke said sadly.

"Hey, don't talk like that. You have a little boy who needs you. I know it's hard to think about the possibility of losing Karen but Brooke you can't let that take away from the fact that you have a job to do and that's raising this little boy here," Jake replied with such conviction it made Brooke's tears fall again.

Brooke just nodded. She knew Jake was right. The thought of losing Karen was a tough one to take but she needed to focus on raising her son.

The three of them continued sitting at the River Court and just watched the sunset over the river before they moved from the picnic table.

As they walked along with the stroller in front of them Brooke was lost in thought. She knew things were changing between her and Jake but she wasn't sure if she was ready to acknowledge it out loud or express this thought to him quite yet. Maybe it was fear of rejection but Brooke doubted that. It was clear to her that Jake really did care about her and Avery but one thing would always be true-Jake was no Lucas.

Just as Brooke was lost in thought, Jake walked beside her lost in his own thoughts. He was thinking about how much his life had changed since he came back to Tree Hill. The biggest change of course being that his friend Lucas was gone. It had been a really shock when Jake had heard the news but it broke his heart when he found out that Brooke was pregnant and Lucas never got to know that he was going be a daddy. As they got closer and closer to the apartment Jake knew that even though he was sure that Brooke would always hold a special place for Lucas in her heart, it was time to take things to the next step in their relationship. He wanted to call Brooke his girlfriend. The only thing that could keep that from happening would be if Brooke said no. Obviously Jake would understand but he secretly hoped that Brooke had moved on enough to say yes.

"Brooke," he said as they stopped at the bottom of the stairs up to their apartment.

"Yes Jake?" she asked suspiciously.

"I think it's time we take the next step in our relationship."

"Relationship? Jake I thought we were just friends."

"We are. But I'd like for us to be more than friends."

"Oh."

Brooke felt her heart skip a beat. Jake wanted to be with her. Was she ready for a relationship? Could she give Jake her whole heart? Brooke knew the answer to that question and that was no. But she was sure that Jake told her just how he felt knowing that she would never be able to give him all of her heart.

"If you just want to stay friends, that's fine I understand," Jake said and Brooke could hear the disappointment in his voice and it broke her heart.

"Jake, no, that's not it. I just want to make sure you know that as much as I want this, I'll never be able to give you my whole heart. Lucas will always have a piece of my heart that no one else can touch."

"I know that Brooke. And that doesn't bother me. I want to be with you. I want you to be my girlfriend."

"And I want to be with you. I want to be your girlfriend Jake."

"Good that's settled than. You are my girlfriend."

"You're my boyfriend."

The two smiled and leaned in for a sweet romantic kiss. At the same time Avery woke up and let out a wail.


End file.
